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I’M TRYING MY HAND at retirement. It isn’t going so well.
As a teenager and when I was in my early 20s, I would take to the couch and happily spend the day consuming a novel. Could I do that at age 62? It seems not.
At some point over the past four decades, I lost the ability to do things solely for my own enjoyment. It seems the endless demands of work, family and household chores have crushed my inner self-absorbed teenager. Am I missing out? I’m not sure.
Sleeping in. This is relative. Before my diagnosis, I’d regularly get up at 5 a.m. Today, I’ll often stay in bed past 6. This is partly a conscious attempt to sleep more and partly because my body needs more sleep. My cancer, coupled with my treatment, can leave me feeling pretty fatigued.
Still, after decades of getting seven hours of sleep a night and often less, it feels like a great luxury to linger longer in bed. This is one part of my “retirement” that I’ve successfully embraced.
Travel. Since my diagnosis 11 months ago, Elaine and I have visited Ireland (twice), London and Paris, gone on a cruise, taken the kids and their families for a long weekend at a luxury resort, and made a number of shorter trips to places nearby. Many dollars have been spent. Has it been worth it? Some of the trips have been great. Others have been more of a struggle.
Since late October, my mobility has been all over the map, a result of the cancer spreading to my spine. At its worst, I could barely walk a city block. After radiation treatment, I can almost feel like my old self, and have no problem walking. Even then, fatigue is an issue, and it’s especially bad when coupled with the changing time zones that accompany transatlantic trips.
Before my diagnosis, Elaine and I had a wish list of places we wanted to visit, perhaps staying for weeks at a time. But those travel dreams have been largely nixed. It’s been tough for me to leave town for more than a week or so, given my endless medical appointments.
All this is a reminder of what I’ve often read from HumbleDollar commenters, which is that retirees should travel while they can, because you never know when deteriorating health might steal that from you.
Television. I’m ambivalent about TV, inclined to view it as a passive activity that usually isn’t worth the time invested. Still, in recent months, I’ve started to watch sports on TV every so often, something I stopped doing more than 25 years ago. Elaine and I also occasionally watch an episode of our latest TV series during the middle of the day, which feels like the height of decadence. I may even pay to stream July’s Tour de France, though I’m not sure I want to commit the necessary hours to take full advantage.
Family. With my diagnosis, my family—my two kids, my mother, my three siblings—have rallied around me. We speak more often on the phone and see each other more frequently. If there’s an upside to my illness, this is it.
Still, I’m not sure all of the above amounts to much of a retirement. Don’t I have any hobbies, you might wonder? I did—bicycling—and I imagined retirement would give me the chance to explore the Pennsylvania countryside on two wheels. But because I’ve had balance issues, the doctors ordered me to stop riding outside when I got my diagnosis, so the only cycling I do these days is in the basement.
Any other hobbies? The problem, and I’m not sure it is one, is that my hobby is my work. I no longer spend my days editing articles for HumbleDollar. Those edited articles have been replaced by the pieces that the site’s readers post directly to the Forum.
But while I’m no longer editing, I still devote part of each day to various writing projects and to monitoring activity on HumbleDollar. I enjoy it, and I think it’s a worthy use of my time. But I’m not sure others would consider what I do each day to be anything akin to retirement.
Is there a lesson here? Perhaps. While HumbleDollar might be a community united by a desire to discuss financial issues in a civil and intelligent manner, the debates within the Forum highlight readers’ many differences. Among them: the virtues of budgeting, the wisdom of investing abroad, when to claim Social Security, whether to favor individual bonds over bond funds, how much to travel, the desirability of continuing care retirement communities, whether to buy income annuities, and much more.
Similarly, there’s no one definition of retirement, and what makes others happy likely won’t work for you and me. Don’t like the way others are spending their retirement? That’s an easy one: Don’t do what they’re doing.
Jonathan Clements is the founder and editor of HumbleDollar. Follow him on X @ClementsMoney and on Facebook, and check out his earlier posts.
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…Don’t do what they’re doing! lol, I almost spewed coffee all over my desk. Sage advice sir.
I agree on stream the TdF. Look on it more as a meditation package looking at the French countryside with a bit of high energy chess thrown in at the end of stages.
I think you probably found your calling and thus full “retirement” isn’t in your make-up. I wouldn’t write off TV. There is some superlative stuff out there. try Patriot on Amazon (James Bond if done by Wes Anderson) or Adolescence on Netflix (frightening glimpse of the ordinary victims of today’s manosphere) or Black Mirror, for great guest turns in near current dystopia.
Just finished Adolescence. Wow, that was so well done.
Get the Tour package! The video feed comes from French TV and includes countless helicopter shots of French scenery. It’s really more like a travel reel with a bike race mixed in. There is nothing better for three weeks in July than seeing beautiful vistas floating by on your TV screen for five or so hours while you enjoy breakfast, begin your day and putter around the house. And the racing is great too.
If you want to speed it up, I watch on a laptop. Flat sprint stage? All the action happens in the last 10K, so you can skip to the end. Mountain stages? Those are usually determined on the last couple of climbs.
If something exciting happens earlier (giant crash takes out most of the peloton – it’s happened), you can always go back and see what occurred.
Personally, I watch until the break is established, then skip through 2-3K at a time to see if anything happens, then settle down for the last 40K or so.
You’re not watching linear TV here.
On watching the Tour de France…and other bike races…I find it better to watch the highlights on YouTube the following day. Perhaps you can see a race in person near where you live this summer. That’s always exciting.
I’m just now entering early retirement. My TV is on Bloomberg all day long for intellectual stimulation and the latest macro news then CNBC for comedic relief during Jim Cramer’s “Mad Money” show. The only travelling that I do is a trip to my local Walmart and walking or biking on the trail near my home. I’m content with my frugal lifestyle with purpose and mindfulness.
The retirement experience is different for everyone. My goal was to spend more time on things I wanted to do (woodworking, reading, cycling, etc.) and as little time on things that looked and felt like work. My wife, on the other hand, gets twitchy when (in her judgement) I spend too much time watching TV, reading of otherwise engaged in what she considers a non-productive, leisure activity. Perhaps she’ll be better prepared when its time to meet her maker, but I am not sure it will much matter.
Jonathan…As always, I enjoy your writing. I actually just purchased another one of your books, on Kindle, (I think that makes my 4th?) “The Best of Jonathan Clements.”
I am in my 15th month of retirement and my days and nights are totally different than they have been for my entire lifetime. many nights I am top until 2-3 am…and I sleep until 10 or 11 am. Why? I read, research interesting topics, watch movies I always wanted to see, but never did, or like a few of them, I am rewatching them again!
I do watch some TV as well…but I like Movies better, because I get to avoid the crap I don’t want to see…which permeates TV these days.
What I haven’t done yet is “find a purpose.” In spite of all the books on retirement saying you have to have one, I have found that, so far, Doing Nothing is working for me.
We traveled a little in 2024, but my wife has a thing about being gone “too long.” We have a number of pets that I hire a caregiver for, but she worries anyway. We visited Florida, Tennessee, Virginia, Maryland, South Carolina…Air BNBs mostly, but some hotels sprinkled in. I was really to sell everything and move to The Villages, Florida, but that idea was Vetoed!
Right now we are sort on home bound due to a remodeling job, which is, of course, behind schedule. Maybe in another 2 months we will be “travel abled” again. My big trip for 2025 is going to be Germany…to visit the places my wife and I (both Army Brats) grew up. Me in Bad Tolz, Bavaria and she in Stuttgart. Then to Berlin, and Luxembourg, and Normandy, France, for some WWII experiences. My father landed in France, in a Glider, on D-Day. We are considering Winter so my wife can see the famous Christmas Markets in Bavaria…or next May, if December does work.
I want to visit Ireland as well, to see where my ancestors came from. My wife isn’t as excited about that trip, for some reason.
I was glad to see your treatments are making your mobility better. I wish you and your family the best, and may God Bless all your remaining days!
European Christmas markets are hard to beat. I especially enjoyed Basil, Switzerland.
If you need a daily intellectual nudge, Duolingo has provided daily joy (& friendly competition.) Learning French has been fun, except for my appalling pronunciation.
Your travel plans bring back some memories. We were in Ireland a couple of months ago, but I’m really thinking of much older memories from Bad Tolz (40 years ago), Berlin and Normandy. Good times.
Along the same lines as D-Day, I never got around to visiting the Operation Market Garden area of the Netherlands. Still on the list.
Enjoy!
sir:
your is a common problem,retirement was not really something you were prepared for emotionally. the caveat is you think you know when your ‘sell by date’ is more than most as a function of your prognosis. of your readers, driving the roads, taking baths on slippery floors, aneurysms hidden and as scottie said ‘readta blow!!’, advanced age, drive by’s, the next covid, i’d go on but i’m tired of typing…
there will many readers dead before you call it even…a good thing as we ALL share mortality. we all live in form of denial until we can’t..keeps us kind of sane.
a friend of similar back ground politically, financially, educationally gave me a gift..i expressed similar angst to yours and he said ‘it is ok to do nothing…’ i needed permission from a source i considered highly reasonable. he was kind of from the buddhist persuasion, those guys think of that stuff..
time is not just about getting stuff done, amusing one’s self, worrying about the others, gaining or losing control..it’s about breathing, and then again breathing and awareness of the specialness of that opportunity. here, now is very improbable..makes the biggest lottery tinier and tinier.. time is an currency we can’t print more of but that underscores it’s value.
the present is exactly that. the gift……
Jonathan, keep writing, we always love to hear from you. I have a similar cancer story, two things I work on, keep a positive attitude, and do NOT concentrate on what we cannot do, but do all we CAN Do and enjoy every minute. Best to you and the Family.
The British have a lock on fine programming. The BBC on my car radio. And TV at home. Also IZZY from Israel. Reading always makes my life better. In library and bookstore. Bicycle riding still an adventure at 84.
“At some point over the past four decades, I lost the ability to do things solely for my own enjoyment.”
I have a retired friend who is crazy busy helping other people.
A lot of others who do things to help people at a less busy pace, such as working at a food pantry, tutoring high school kids, or pro bono legal work.
They need to do more than just for their own enjoyment.
I see HumbleDollar in this framework. You help us. And I am sure I speak for many of us that we find HumbleDollar highly enjoyable. Thank you for spreading the wealth!
My thoughts about how to spend time and energy once I’m retired (in two months and four days!) are all over the place. I have stuff I know I’m going to do. I’ve signed a book contract (manuscript due 7-1-26), I’m on two dissertation committees that will continue through next year, and my two-year term on our condo HOA board goes until August 2026. We have a couple of trips planned for the summer to celebrate my 65th birthday and my retirement.
Beyond that, I have ideas about things I want to do, but they’re not as clearly formed as the above list. I think I’m going to give myself the next year to sort it all out, or at least sort it out for the near-term. Depending how many more years/phases I have, I imagine that there will be several iterations of retirement for me.
So glad you have the opportunity to travel. I hope you continue to do so and to live as normal a life for as long as possible.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
T.S. Eliot
May you read a novel all day if you wish and know it as wise 62 year old.
I love you Jonathan as do so many others.
One of the things I’ve found in retirement is that my interests have expanded far beyond the universe that surrounded my career activities. Some of those interests I found by mistake or by chance – by reaching out in a direction that was new and untested.
I have two comments about your own list of activities.
First, I am an avid reader. You don’t mention reading as one of your activities, which surprised me. Reading is a great way to find adventure, insight and pleasure without leaving your home. It is constantly rewarding, and where a book is unsatisfying, you can simply abandon it and move on to another. The public library is a great and cost-less resource. Most of my reading is non-fiction, and a lot of it is older non-fiction. (You can’t beat The Double Helix as a scientific soap opera about one of science’s most important discoveries, especially if you get the Norton edition that includes all the critics’ reviews of the book and personal responses from individuals included in Watson’s narrative.) My resolution every year is to read at least one good book a week, and I usually handily beat that objective. I keep a list of the books I read and give them a rating 1 to 10. It has really broadened my horizons. And, choosing what is next is always a challenge – I investigate many before selecting a few.
Second, I share your distaste for everyday television. Streaming is only a partial improvement over network TV. Luckily, my local public broadcasting station offers a separate channel of UK programming, all day every day. So, I see lots of BBC Masterpiece series, spy dramas and the ubiquitous British staple – mysteries, usually murder mysteries. The quality is pretty high and they are intelligently written. [It led me to subscribe to the BritBox streaming service, which offers even more, but that streaming service is diluted by lots of bad UK comedy and other American-like series.] Anyway, I’ve found good UK programming to be an excellent way to chill. And as with most TV, I often use the time to multitask while a program is on. Knowing you spent your youth in England, you might be interested.
Thank you for sharing Jonathan. I was wondering if you have tried an e-trike. It might be a fun way to get out for some riding with pedal assist or even using the throttle. We have one with a basket in the back and we enjoy riding it to farmers market and the fruit stand. Ours is a Pedego and it has held up well. Thinking about you. Keep going.
I had a neighbor in his 90s who had a trike – a non-“e” one – to get around his flat neighborhood. He was well-known and he attached signs to his basket, like “Enjoy the day” and “Slow down – biker here”. (But if you are still in Philadelphia, or your endurance is low, any kind of bike may be a challenge.)
Your story strikes me as an example of both the uncertain frailty of our lives and plans, and the resilience we’ve been given to deal with the unexpected changes. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences as you continue to forge ahead.
Jonathan, it’s good to hear from you with an update.
Like so many others, I still get up early, anxious to start the day. Right now, we are traveling a great deal, and no matter how much a travel planner does for you, there is still more to do. Between that and reading and writing, my days are full. One of these days, I’m going to watch a movie during the day.
I thought I would watch more TV when I retired due to all the movies and TV shows I missed while working. But it didn’t really happen that way. I do sometimes settle down to watch part of a movie in the evening, but other than This Old House and Antiques Roadshow, I’m not a regular TV watcher. I’ve got too much other stuff going on.
Like your attitude as you’re clearly dealing with some rough health issues. To add, do retirement on your own terms while still listening for good ideas. Frankly, I believe a decent night of sleep without rushing to get going in the morning is fantastic.
Great post Jonathan – thanks for sharing. I’m not sure I’d consider your daily editing of HD as work, more like passion. One of the best pieces of advice I heard about retirement (related to your “travel while you can” comment) was to think of retirement in 3 phases: Go-Go, Go Slow and No Go. The thoughts you shared reinforced that but also shed some light for me that maybe there’s some “shifting” even within those phases. Maybe we need to handle these retirement phases more like driving a manual transmission than just cruising along on an automatic transmission. Either way, just appreciate that you so eloquently, abundantly and thoughtfully share your passion with this group of people. Thanks!
Jonathan,
I’ve taken up photography especially of birds since I’m a long time birder. Studying Photoshop has been interesting as I like learning new things but at the same time frustrating when I can’t get it to do what I want. Beside photography/birding, I volunteer with Wings for Widows for pro bona planning work, I teach Birding by Ear in San Francisco and the Lake Tahoe area, I’m learning a new scripting language, AutoHotKey, and I monitor a pair of Peregrine Falcons on a 18th story balcony at the City Hall in San Jose, CA. There are 4 hatchings that keep us CamOps busy!
But I must admit I didn’t get up until 10am this morning!
Love this, reminds me of the first year after my own sudden retirement and how weird it felt at times. I miss your editing so much, but it’s a fair trade to hear about your greater time with family and trips you’ve enjoyed.
Last paragraph sums it up nicely.
Jonathan,
Very good to know how you’re getting along with your retirement as well as your health issue. After working long hours for decades, retirement for me has likewise maintained an element of structure. But I will say the “work” is now much more enjoyable as it’s a lot more of what I want to do and a lot less of what I don’t.
I do believe that retirement never need be boring for anyone with a curious mind. There’s just so much to learn, and with the internet, it’s all so accessible.
“But because I’ve had balance issues, the doctors ordered me to stop riding outside.”
Have you considered a recumbent outdoor bike? They would give your back more support and since there are three wheel varieties which would eliminate the balance issue. Not sure if they are available at bike rental facilities, as I would imagine you would want to attempt some trial rides. A rail trail with a good base would provide an excellent trial.
Yes, indeed, Jonathan could consider a trike. After my hip replacement when I never regained confidence in my dismount from my semirecumbent bike, I traded it (the bike; I’d already traded in the hip) for a semirecumbent performance trike. Now I’m happily zooming around my CCRC campus and the college town.
Thanks for the update. I imagine retirement is different for everyone, and indeed different over time. I consider I’m on the third, or perhaps fourth, version. The first was travel, the second was illness and then isolation for Covid, and now I’m staying busy at my retirement community. I’m an introvert, and have no trouble spending hours with a book – perhaps that ability will come back? I’m also a night owl, and never really adjusted to the American habit of starting school and work early. I do still set my alarm, although not on Sunday, and I get up around 8:00.
Aside from the cancer-related issues you’re facing, Jonathan, I can totally relate to this. I have been out of the corporate workplace for 3 1/2 years but I’m still doing consulting on a part-time basis. I find that I enjoy it and like the extra money it brings in.
I also continue to spend hours each day on my laptop writing books and stories and blog posts, when I could be out with friends playing pickleball. Why? Again, because I enjoy it.
I am doing more fishing, though, as that (along with my writing) is my big passion. So you’re right: everyone’s definition of retirement is different, but I think it all comes down to one thing: spending your days doing what you enjoy the most.
Thank you for continuing to share your insights with us. I know I speak for the entire community when I say that we greatly appreciate it.
Well said Jonathan. My retirement after 14 years is nothing like I imagined. I had a good plan for retirement to work half time for a global Christian ministry that is based nearby. That worked well for a few years, but they kept changing leaders, and later leaders were not sure how to utilize my management consulting skills.
I finally left that ministry for that reason. Judy and I did a lot of traveling the first few years. We took a couple of trips out West and two to Maine (we love that state). She no longer will fly, so I took a Holy Land tour with our church in 2014 which was great. The next year I took a trip to Tuscany with my sister and her art friends. Another great trip.
I now serve on the board of two retiree associations. One very large with 50k+ members and the other very small. I spend about 20 hours a month on those boards. I read the WSJ every day, especially the editorials and I enjoy participating in forums like HD, so you could say that is one of my hobbies.
Judy and I are definitely in the slow go stage of retirement. I am in pretty good health and still active but Judy has mobility issues which limits her activity. However, at ages 80 and 82, we feel very blessed to do what we can.
I hope to do one more major trip either to Europe or the Holy Land but time will tell.
Jonathan, thanks for the update and I’m glad you are able to find some positives during this challenging time. Vicky and I are finding retirement to be an interesting journey. Retiring into a pandemic played havoc with some of our plans, including part-time work. I would say our retirement is still a work in progress, as we adapt to life. My takeaway is that retirement is truly a journey, and we get to choose a good deal of the steps. Being flexible and making choices that are right for you is what counts.
Jonathan, ♡ that you shared time with us this morning. You and your family have been on my mind. Your travels sound wonderful! Happy anniversary a bit early!
We returned from Dublin, Galway, the Dingal Peninsula (& drove The Atlantic), the Cliffs of Moher, Inishmore, & Cork on April 10. Such beauty, fun people, tasty food, and an escape! (My best cottage pie was at the Ladyswell diner down the road from Cashel Castle!)
I took several hundred photos, about half hanging out of a car window with the wind in my hair. Finally visiting Ireland was by design– my way of letting my 50s slip away and enjoying life in my new, now more precious, decade.
PS Murphys is tastier than Guinness, and Beamish wasn’t bad either! But my go-to was Smithwicks!
Stacey, I hope you got to drive the Connor Pass in Dingle. I really want to get back to Ireland!
Next time! We should have booked more days in the area, lesson learned!
Jonathan, Retirement is just a continuation of life. Finding retirement balance involves integrating health and financial stability with strong social connections
Basically, you will remain the same person, perhaps more accepting of each new day with a deep understanding of the new challenges that come your way. And the drive to do more and enjoy your journey with improved health.
” For there are times I give too much and times I suffer too. Yet at the end of every day
I feel the joy of heart
that I have shared Gods gift to me
with those of lesser lot.”—Author Unknown
Loved this, Marjorie, especially “retirement is just a continuation of life”. Chris
Thanks for the update on your retirement journey, Jonathan. I suspect many of us have had to work out our right paths in retirement. In retrospect, I am grateful for having caught COVID the day after retiring. I felt just good enough to do very little for a month, and that was likely the clean break from work that I needed; I had time to think purposefully about what would come next.
Before committing to the entire Tour, perhaps wait and see if NBC will once again post extended highlights of each stage on YouTube. The daily posts range in length from 20 minutes to an hour, complete with narration by Bob Roll and Phil Liggett. All the excitement, cut from the same feeds as the full version, on one’s own schedule and for free.
I have been fully retired 15 years. I went part-time 18 months before that. I still wake up at 5:30 or so, a habit I can’t seem to break.
A big chunk of the day is spent on my iPad reading, exploring, learning. Because I enjoy it.
I start each day on HD even before I look at my own blog, that being the closest thing I have ever had to a hobby.
We have few plans and go with the flow. I play golf twice a week in season with friends acquired after I retired
I’d still like to travel, but Connie’s back and leg problems prevent her from walking even half a block. She is in constant pain, plus now has lost total sight in her injured eye. Connie is 86.
We were fortunate and did our share of traveling, all 50 states and 45 countries. It doesn’t appear I will make a couple of bucket list locations, but there are no regrets.
On the plus side, yesterday I drove 5 hours to Cape Cod where we are enjoying a long weekend in what has become our largest single investment. It’s really quiet and here I am on my iPad again, Connie would say yet. Connie wants to shop for some new furniture 🤑
I retired without any plans or goals or even idea what retirement would be like. Actually, life is no different than while working except the vacation time is 262 days a year – the working days a year.
I didn’t agonize over retiring early, we didn’t set a budget, never considered relocation, payday still happens three times a month in the form of a pension and SS deposits.
We delight in helping our children and grandchildren which includes time and money- the best investment we will ever make.
I worked until age 67 and our income replacement percentage equaled … well you know.
One thing for sure I can say about our retirement – we greatly appreciated our good fortune, including financial peace of mind.
But as Jonathan says, there is no one way or right way to retire.
Dick, seems like your retirement plan has worked out quite well. I’m maybe 15 to 20 years behind you, but haven’t had very specific plans either. I wonder if some of the retirement disappointment people feel is the result of unrealistic expectations for what they will be able to do or how they’ll feel. For instance, I was an avid golfer my whole life and played to a 2 handicap in my 40s. I imagined being a member of a club and playing and competing regularly after I retired. Arthritis, which I never saw coming, got in the way and I don’t play any more. So, I just do other things and when I look around I see more and more that my glass is half full and not half empty.
I think you are right. Over planing, high expectations can lead to disappointment. Retirement is not some new life, it’s part of one life, just without a job.
So far our retirement is not going like we expected with all of Spouse’s family issues. It feels like a game of whack a mole. Definitely going through the sandwich generation thing. I guess everyone does at some point. Keep plugging away, Jonathan. Everyone, including me, is grateful for your gift of time to us. Chris
I don’t feel “retired”. My schedule is full, but I no longer exchange my time for a paycheck. Much to my surprise, my local senior center offers so much in the way of classes and new friendships and exercise. I am also lucky to have a nearby Osher Lifelong Learning Institute OLLI (continuing education for seniors) and take many classes, Having free time to take classes, attend theater and concerts, maintain relationships with family and friends and maintain my aging body is a gift. Like you, Jonathan, I sleep in until 6am now!
Jonathan, well stated and needed by many of us who retired or are considering retirement. I am retired for almost two years and my wife and I have each adapted to our routines to fill our days and are traveling and planning trips while we are healthy enough to do so.
I find myself speaking to many friends and former colleagues who are contemplating retirement and they (or their spouses) are asking me what I do in retirement that might help guide them to pursuits that will fill their days. As I struggle to describe my routines I realize that there is no set roadmap as to “how to do retirement “. It is very individualized and requires each person to explore their interests, capabilities and personality to determine the things that will fill their days.
BTW, I sleep less now in retirement and have been up since 5 AM packing away winter clothes out of my closet, updating our WiFi network for every piece of technology in our home (we got a new Verizon router installed yesterday….its staggering how many things rely on WiFi) and having my coffee while reading Humble Dollar. All the best to you and your continued pursuits in retirement.