DrLefty

Comments:

• I forgot to mention the travel policy. For the last couple of years I’ve bought us annual policies that cover all our trips, domestic or abroad, mainly because of the evacuation/repatriation piece, but the rental car coverage is good, too. Less than $500 for both of us and well worth it, in my opinion.

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 8, 2024

• Thanks for that, Ed. Yeah, it’s a sticky situation. There are answers (specifically from state-funded programs for low-income seniors, which she is), but explaining that we’re not in a position to decimate our own financial security to just pay for her care on demand is going to be fraught.

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 7, 2024

• My siblings and I have of course had several follow-up discussions among ourselves. The correct answer, if it comes to that, is that she should qualify for MediCal coverage, which would pay either entirely or partially (beyond her Social Security check) for in-home or residential care. We’re trying to figure out when or how to have this discussion and with whom (both of them? Just her partner? Aargh.) I don’t think she has dementia. She’s never been an easy person, and age has just made her, well, more that way.

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 7, 2024

• He has a job. She’s retired, of course. They live in a house that he inherited, and he gave her a life estate in the home. I think she feels bad about him exhausting his resources to care for her, and I get that—he’ll be retiring at some point and has no children. But she’s not being very realistic about what her options are.

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 7, 2024

• Thanks for that last sentence in particular! We have two new-to-us destinations on the calendar for 2025: South America in February (I’ll be on sabbatical, so we can travel then) and French Polynesia at the end of August (that’s my “yay, I retired” celebration trip!). I saved a LOT of Marriott Bonvoy points for the St Regis in Bora Bora!

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 7, 2024

• As I said above, I got to take a class at the London studio this summer and meet Sam Yo, my favorite instructor. My leaderboard name is DrLefty (shocker, I know!). I’ll follow you! The Springsteen show was such a highlight. I still smile just thinking about it.

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 7, 2024

• Of all the great concerts we went to this year, that was the absolute highlight for me, and he was amazing. I’ve loved him since the 70s but this was my first time ever seeing him live. I got into the London Peloton studio for a class in June, and it was fantastic. I’ve heard that the NYC studio is harder, so 🤞. I’ve also heard that if you get on waitlists you have a pretty good shot of getting in eventually. It would be cool to take a class on my 65th birthday!

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 7, 2024

• We’re definitely in the “plan for longevity” camp, even though we’re well aware that no one gets any guarantees. (My father died at 61 and my grandfathers also both passed in their 60s.) We took (or will take in my case) pensions rather than lump sums and with survivor benefits. We’re postponing claiming Social Security, at least one of us until 70. We’re also pretty committed to enjoying experiences we can afford while we’re still young, healthy, and energetic enough. We want to travel and have a list of places both domestic and abroad we want to experience in the next 5-10 years, which is probably our window. We also enjoy things like live theater, concerts, and sporting events. These are expensive, but we know that the time will come when we won’t physically want to make that much effort and will stop doing it. This calendar year we’ve been to Sphere in Las Vegas twice (U2 and Eagles), saw Bruce Springsteen at the Chase Center in San Francisco, and accompanied our daughter to see Taylor Swift in Amsterdam. (Part of this is feeling that if Bono, Don Henley, and Springsteen, all of whom are older than we are, can still do this, so can we!) We’re planning a trip to New York for my 65th birthday in August, which will involve seeing the Giants play the Mets, some Broadway shows, and hopefully a class at the Peloton studio. This is the kind of trip I don’t see us making at 75 or 80. As I’ve written here before, I’m an insurance man’s daughter and have stayed well-covered. I only dropped my disability coverage last year, realizing that I’m close enough to retirement to not need it anymore. Our term life policies will expire in 2025 and 2029. But we do have long-term care and umbrella insurance, in addition to the requisite homeowners insurance and health (which we currently get through my husband’s state retirement system with Medicare kicking in next year).

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 7, 2024

• I’m also in the camp of planning for a long life so that we won’t be a financial burden to anyone, especially after observing my late mother-in-law’s decline from Alzheimer’s and how expensive her care over the last year was. Thankfully, she and her husband had plenty of resources to cover it. However, my own mother, who’s 83, recently announced that her resources are limited and that if she needs care down the line (in home or facility-based), she expects my siblings and me to kick in to help her partner (a younger man who just turned 60) pay for it. She’s also proclaimed that she plans to spend all her own money (she has some but not that much) because the three of us have plenty of money (that is actually true only to a point, and we’re not all in the same financial condition) and don’t need an inheritance from her. That part is fine, but she’s overlooking that if we had to contribute thousands of dollars a month to pay her care bills, it would compromise our own financial security, and we’re all heading into retirement years ourselves. The entitlement she’s expressing is rather breathtaking, and as a parent myself, I don’t quite understand where she’s coming from.

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 7, 2024

• I really liked “Die with Zero,” which I learned about here on HD. Most of what I’d been exposed to was “die with a lot” so that you can leave it to family or charity. In particular, what I liked about the book is its argument that when it comes to giving to family/charity, why wait? Obviously retain enough resources for your own needs and be smart about it, but you can enjoy the fruits of your giving while you’re still alive, and the recipients need it now—not 20-30 years from now.

  Post: Pick Your Peril

  Link to comment from December 7, 2024