Making Everyone Happy
David Gartland | Apr 19, 2024
I'M NOT A GENEROUS guy. Which brings me to tipping. I see a price on the menu, and I’m willing to spend that amount on the food. Then I have to spend additional money, after having consumed that food, because someone served it to me. Why? What about the kitchen staff who cooked my meal? Should I tip them also? After all, I can't cook, so the kitchen staff is doing me a more important service than the person who carries my food to the table. I could go to the kitchen and get the food myself. I just can’t cook it. Why should someone serving at an inexpensive diner get less than a waiter or waitress at a high-end restaurant? The diner waitstaff are working just as hard as those at high-end restaurants. And what about the folks working behind the counter at McDonald’s? They also get me food and I don’t tip. Why not? How much should I tip? Should it be a percentage of the bill or a certain dollar amount? At the bottom of restaurant checks, they often suggest tip amounts based on various percentages. That gives me a fighting chance of being either generous or foolish. If I go with the highest suggested percentage, I can feel generous. Unless the service was terrible, in which case I feel foolish. Should I tip anyone who does anything for me? That’s a lot of people. Does a carpenter get tipped? He did something for me. I’m confused. Giving money to a charity makes more sense to me than tipping. I can write off charitable donations on my taxes, assuming I itemize. I can’t do that when I tip. I’ve never worked a job in my life where tipping was considered a standard method of compensation. My paycheck…
Read more » Time’s A-Wasting
David Gartland | Nov 19, 2024
MY LIFE’S GOAL WAS to make money. I make no apologies for this. I’m not particularly gifted in this pursuit, but I did persevere. I take satisfaction that I stuck to my goal despite all obstacles. There were many trips, falls, mistakes and failures along the way. I had to work hard and seek a new job each time my old employment ended. I set out to do something—and I did it. That all changed when I retired. It felt like crossing the finish line at the New York City Marathon. I’d completed my career race at last. It was a good feeling. Knowing that someday I’d reach that finish line was a vital part of my motivation. The satisfaction now is to look back on my journey and see what I accomplished. I fought the good fight. I’m proud of never giving up. But now, I move on to other goals, the ones that I still have time for. We are all given one lifetime. The longest will be about 100 years. Using 100 as a measuring stick, where are you on your 100-year timeline—and what’s next? What would you do today if you had just one week to live? I hope you’d feel fulfilled, that you’ve done what you wanted to do all along. The goals you pursued might not be what your friends and family thought you should do. Still, if you did what you wanted, you should have no regrets. If this isn’t true for you, I’d advise you to get going. What do you think you should be doing? The more you do things of your own choosing, the better you’ll feel. Retirement is a perfect time to think selfishly. Doing one selfish thing, while you do 10 things for others, will motivate you to…
Read more » The Other Side Sucks
David Gartland | Nov 10, 2023
THERE ARE CERTAIN expressions I’ve heard during my lifetime which, for one reason or another, have stayed with me. In a previous article, I related how a coworker encouraged me to “keep on keeping on” when confronted with a challenge, and how Napoleon Hill’s expression “burning desire” struck me as a great way to describe a goal worth seeking. Here’s another expression I’ve never forgotten: “The other side sucks.” I’ve been a race car fan ever since my older brother introduced me to automobile racing in my youth. I especially enjoy Formula One racing. These international racing events gather the best of the best—mechanics, engineers, drivers and the sponsors who pay for it all. One of the Formula One race tracks I’ve visited is in Watkins Glen, New York. In the 1960s, Watkins Glen was the only race track that hosted a Formula One race in America. There were others in the years that followed but, at the time, Watkins Glen was the only one. The racing community that sponsored the event, along with the owners of the racing teams, were sophisticated. The same couldn’t be said of the fans at Watkins Glen, who weren’t necessarily from society’s upper crust. One area of the Watkins Glen track was known as “the bog.” It was a valley within the racing grounds that would become muddy following rain storms. This area became a gathering place for fans, who took great joy in directing late arrivals to this muddy area, especially after it was dark. Upon entering the bog, many cars would get stuck. Amid the resulting melee, cars would often be damaged. This led to Formula One’s sanctioning body to stop holding races at “the Glen.” On one particular night at the bog, two separate and distinct groups formed on each side…
Read more » Stop the Fussing
David Gartland | Jan 29, 2024
BILLY JOEL WROTE a song that declares, “I love you just the way you are.” But as parents, sometimes it isn’t easy to say those words about our children. We’re supposed to train them to succeed in life. We all probably think we’re excellent trainers, so—when our children don’t get it—it must be their fault. We did our part, so why don’t they learn? For parents of special needs children, things are different, but also similar. We also have to train our children for life. But they don’t learn or perform as “typical” children do. But good parents persevere, training their children in different ways or with more intensity. We all need to get to the finish line, so we can say, “I did my part.” But what happens if we never get to the finish line? What happens if the usual events that parents enjoy—graduations, marriages, grandchildren—never happen? That’s what I was facing. Luckily, in recent years, I’ve been able to look at my life differently. I’ve accepted my son for who he is, not for what he could be. I was afraid I’d feel I was giving up, but the opposite happened. I started to look at him as complete—that he couldn’t be anything more than what he is. I believe we all want to be better. Take our finances. We read books, try to save more, buy things when they’re on sale and take out loans when it makes sense. But when do we stop trying to make our finances better, and instead accept them for what they are? To me, the goal of accumulating money and having wealth is to live a comfortable life. We do it so that, at some point, we can stop struggling. Thinking we can always improve our finances—or always improve our children—can…
Read more » Ask the Question
David Gartland | Apr 22, 2024
I WAS A PART-TIME instructor in public speaking for Dale Carnegie & Associates during the 1980s and early 1990s. I taught a course at the Downtown Athletic Club in lower Manhattan. At the time, my wife and I were living in northwestern New Jersey, and we each took the bus into Manhattan to our respective jobs. The course was given after work, so I had to take a late bus home. This meant my wife needed to drive to the bus depot to pick me up. One night, I arrived at the bus stop, but my wife wasn’t there. I called our condo, thinking she’d fallen asleep, but she never picked up the phone. This was prior to cell phones. I called repeatedly, thinking that, if she had fallen asleep, the ringing phone would wake her up. But she never picked up. Just after I made yet another call, a police car pulled up and my wife got out of the back seat. She greeted me with, “Hello, honey.” The cop greeted me by asking, “Sir, do you have a license and registration for your car?” I said “yes,” and presented both. He then informed me that my wife didn’t have a valid driver’s license. Like me, my wife grew up on Long Island, New York. She’d tell me about the cars she owned and the adventures she had driving around Long Island. When we got married, the only question I asked her was, “Do you know how to drive a stick shift?” She said “yes.” This was important since I owned one car and she didn’t own any. I assumed she had a license. How else could she have driven a car on Long Island? It turns out she did have a license when she was living on Long Island.…
Read more » Becoming an Investor
David Gartland | Dec 15, 2023
MY DREAM WAS TO become a brilliant investor who knew when and what to buy and sell. I imagined myself doing the necessary research, which would allow me to make savvy decisions, which would then impress my wife and relatives, as they observed my uncanny ability to always know what to do and when to do it. This never happened. Instead, I took stock of who I was and how I’d consistently behaved. “Know thyself” was the advice of Ken Pangburn, CEO of a company I once worked for. That’s what I endeavored to do. What I realized: I’m a saver, someone who has no difficulty skipping a purchase and instead putting the money in the bank. Now, this is a good start. But it’ll never get you onto the Forbes 400 list of America’s wealthiest. I needed to step on the accelerator a little. I undertook an in-depth study of investing. I had a good grasp of savings accounts and certificates of deposit. What I needed to learn was the other stuff. Stocks were the biggest mystery. I understood that owning shares meant you’re an owner of the company. But which stocks should I buy? This led to studying fundamental vs. technical analysis, and thinking about whether to be a value or growth investor. Should I own individual stocks or mutual funds? If I buy mutual funds, should they be actively or passively managed? It was all very confusing. I felt I had a better handle on bonds because I’d owned some savings bonds. Still, the same questions I had about stocks also applied to bonds. Do I buy individual bonds or mutual funds? Should I buy government or corporate bonds? Still very confusing. This confusion took me back to who I fundamentally was. I was a saver. Period.…
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