Aging in Place: Count the Cost(s)
DrLefty | Jun 22, 2024
My mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s. It’s very advanced, and over the last year, her husband (my husband’s stepfather) has been unable to keep handling her care on his own. We would help, but they live 400 miles away from us, and we’re still working. His plan was to move them into a senior living community (just a 55+ community, not a CCRC), remodel the unit, and hire in-home caregivers as needed. He even added an extra bed and bath to their new unit so a caregiver could live in or sleep over. That was the plan. It didn’t work, for several reasons. First, he only had minimal part-time care, about 15 hours a week. Then he had a medical emergency and had to be hospitalized for three full days, leading to a frantic scramble to get my mother-in-law’s care covered. This was a wake-up call for him that his Plan A (himself as primary caregiver with occasional relief shifts from the caregiving agency) was based on some very dubious assumptions—for example, that an 82-year-old man with a history of heart issues and cancer could handle the stress, mentally and physically. After he got out of the hospital, he went up to nearly full-time in-home care, including most nights. This wasn’t great for my MIL because she was confused and upset by the rotating cast of strangers coming into her home. She’s always been a sweet and easygoing person, but some of the caregivers rubbed her the wrong way—too bossy—and she’d mix it up with them. What my father-in-law didn’t understand is that with a dementia patient, one size doesn’t fit all with caregivers. Some of the people the agency sent just didn’t know how to deal with her. Most significantly, the in-home care cost a fortune. The agency charges $35/hour. For…
Read more » Final Arrangements: A Learning Curve
DrLefty | Aug 18, 2024
As I’ve written here before, my mother-in-law has been dealing with Alzheimer’s, and this last year has been a constant learning curve of navigating long-term care policies, trying out in-home caregivers (pretty major fail), and finally a memory care residential facility. Well, this past week was a new challenge. My MIL passed away suddenly on Tuesday night. We got a call from the memory care facility that she’d fainted several times, so they’d called an ambulance. We were concerned, but she’d had issues with fainting before. 20 minutes later, a hospital nurse called and said she’d arrested (she had an DNR order) and died on the way to the hospital. It was very abruptly conveyed, and the nurse barely took a breath before asking which local mortuary we’d like the body transferred to. We said we’d have to call her husband (my husband’s stepfather) and get back to them. It was a traumatic few minutes. Alzheimer’s notwithstanding, she’d otherwise been in good health and had never had heart problems. She was 84. Anyway, the real drama involved the final arrangements. My in-laws had purchased cemetery plots in Palo Alto, CA, where other family members have been laid to rest. But they live in Southern California, some 400 miles from this cemetery. Nothing had been set up with a local mortuary. We had to really quickly find one that (a) would take the body from the hospital (b) prepare the body for a 400-mile road trip and (c) transport the body. Then we had to figure what would happen on the other end after the transport. My father-in-law also had to go to the local mortuary and fill out lots of paperwork as next-of-kin to get the body released. He’s 82 and gets easily confused and frustrated. My husband had offered…
Read more » Buying Time
Dana Ferris | Jun 4, 2023
"I'D BE HAPPY TO JUST come here every year," I told my husband. We and our two daughters had arrived on Maui 72 hours earlier. It was May 2000—and our first trip to Hawaii. We’d signed up for a timeshare presentation in return for discounts on tours and activities. By the time we got to the meeting, I’d fallen head over heels in love with the place. The timeshare salesperson had an easy time persuading me to buy. I had a harder time persuading my husband, but we ended up signing on the dotted line. Between 2000 and 2008, we acquired more time at our original resort—now owned by Hilton Grand Vacations Club (HGVC)—and also bought time from Marriott Vacation Club (MVC). We now own two deeded Marriott weeks per year and the equivalent of two more weeks at HGVC. [caption id="attachment_1538814" align="alignright" width="300"] Sunset from the author’s balcony at Hawaii's Marriott Maui Ocean Club[/caption] Back in 2000, when I told my husband that I wanted to come to Hawaii every year, I wasn’t kidding. We live in California, and it’s a less-than-five-hour flight to Maui from our home airport in Sacramento. With the exception of 2020, when Hawaii closed down tourism due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we’ve been to Hawaii at least once a year since we purchased our first timeshare. In fact, as I write this article, my husband and I are enjoying a two-week stay at Marriott's Maui Ocean Club on Ka’anapali Beach. Even though we’ve enjoyed our timeshares and made good use of them, I’ve always felt sheepish about having fallen for the timeshare pitches. Everything I read about timeshare ownership reminded me that timeshares are not a good investment. Recent events, however, have made me reconsider my sense of regret. Hotel prices have skyrocketed in…
Read more » Improving My Habits
Dana Ferris | Jun 13, 2023
THE PROLIFIC MR. QUINN recently wrote that people who were irresponsible in one area of their life, such as failing to return shopping carts, also tend to be irresponsible in other areas, like managing their finances. He’s probably right. Still, I’ve had times when, even though I’m a “responsible person”—I’ve had a successful career, my kids lived to grow up, and so forth—I nonetheless had pockets of disorder in my life. For me, the two biggest areas of chaos were managing money and maintaining a healthy diet and exercise regimen. I’m embarrassed to think back on the bounced checks, late fees, and even the checks I accidentally threw away because I was distracted and disorganized. I’m even more horrified to think about how many fast food and vending machine “meals” I ate because I hadn’t been to the store or found time to eat a proper breakfast or pack a lunch. There was even the gym membership that I had for seven years, which I paid for—but never once used. These unacceptable patterns needed to be changed. Responsibly managing one’s finances is important. Ditto for attending to one’s health, as Rick Connor has written in several pieces. Thus, I’m happy to report that I have restored order in both of these important areas. Our bills are paid on time, our credit scores are pristine, we have no debt beyond our mortgage, and we have savings, insurance and an estate plan. As for health and fitness, I’ve lost nearly 60 pounds since 2020, I’m absolutely devoted to working out and I’m now at a healthy weight for my height. When I had recent lab work, my doctor told me everything looked great, and “just keep up the good work.” How did I do it? The short answer is habit formation—James Clear’s…
Read more » Oops!
DrLefty | Oct 25, 2025
I received an email from my previous employer a few weeks ago. I’ll paraphrase: “Ooops. When we processed your last paycheck in June, we failed to deduct your elected contributions to your 403B and 457 accounts.” Now, I knew this because my final paycheck was quite a bit larger than I’d expected, but I thought I’d just misunderstood how the dates worked. (I separated from my employer on June 28, retired on July 1, and my final paycheck, in arrears for June, was processed somewhere between June 27-30.) Oh, well, I’ll just pay a bit more in taxes because of this. Or so I thought. Nope. Apparently if the employer makes that mistake, they have to compensate the employee: “In accordance with Internal Revenue Service (IRS) guidelines, [my employer] will correct this by making a Qualified Nonelective Contribution (QNEC) for the plan(s) listed below…” It turned out to be 50% of what I would have contributed that month to the two accounts. To be clear, it was my employer’s money, not mine. They’re just required by this IRS guideline to give it me. With the two contributions put together, it came out to just under $3000 of free money! It landed in my Fidelity accounts a couple of days ago. Now, as I’ve shared here before, I’d already rolled those accounts over to my Schwab IRA, which was quite an involved process. For this extra little bonus money, I decided to ask Fidelity to just withhold federal and state taxes and withdraw the money and direct-deposit it to my checking account. That turned out to just take a couple of minutes and a few clicks. It will take another day or two, and the take-home amount is just over $2200. Again, this is totally “found” money, so I plan to do something…
Read more » Estrangement & Estates
DrLefty | Jul 10, 2025
I've been thinking about family dynamics and how they affect financial decisions, and this will be the first of several posts on various applications of this topic. This first one is a hard one to talk about: It's family estrangement, specifically a family member(s) going "no contact" with or otherwise walking away from other family member(s). It's not as unusual as you might think--there is growing research on the topic, and some estimate that more than 30% of American families have an estranged family member. The reasons for this alarming trend are sociologically complex. One expert on the topic is psychologist Joshua Coleman, who's written a couple of books and many articles based on insights from his own practice and his research. He notes that while about half of the estrangement situations happen for reasons we'd all consider legitimate (e.g., clearly abusive behavior), others are harder to peg, and what one adult child might consider a "toxic" on the part of their parents might be incomprehensible to their sibling. As I said, it's complicated. Sometimes, according to Coleman, the estranged family members might find a way back to each other. In other cases, the person is (most likely) gone forever. The question arises as to the implications estrangement has for one's estate. Coleman urges parents with an estranged adult child not to cut them out of their will, arguing that this will just exacerbate an already painful situation. However, others might argue that if a family member has chosen to exit the family, causing pain by so doing, they are no longer entitled to family resources--and including them in an estate plan might even seem or be disrespectful to other family members who have been hurt by their actions. I'll be vague, but we have an estrangement situation in my…
Read more »
Fixing Social Security once and for all
R Quinn | Apr 15, 2026
What Bangladesh Taught Me About Enough
Andrew Clements | Apr 16, 2026
Social Security Survivor Benefits for Spouses
James McGlynn CFA RICP® | Apr 16, 2026
Recency Bias (or: You’re Running Buggy Software)
Mark Crothers | Apr 7, 2026
Buying and Selling our Condo (Our Big “Little” Move, Part 2)
DrLefty | Apr 15, 2026
Nothing Like a War To Bring Folks around to Personal Financial Planning
Laura Ricci | Apr 11, 2026
Penny Wise, Pound Foolish
DAN SMITH | Apr 12, 2026
Avoid the noise, buy the market and stay invested
Alan Nixon | Apr 11, 2026
AARP tax calculator changed to 2025
William Perry | May 28, 2025
Tools/calculators for monthly retirement cash flow and tax estimation
achnk53 | Apr 9, 2026
Financial Planning
Concerned | Apr 11, 2026
One Good Call?
Mark Crothers | Apr 14, 2026