The Ties That Bind
Marjorie Kondrack | Jul 21, 2025
This post explores another aspect of Dr. Lefty’s exceptional article of July 10, 2025, “Estrangements and Estates”. Specifically that of Reconciliation. People are just beginning to talk about estrangement even though one out of four families —or 30% of American families have an estranged member, as cited in Dr. Lefty’s article. That’s a pretty big number.
When someone severs ties, it’s not about a day that went wrong, or even one event that happened. It’s an accumulation of things that pile up and fester, and some trivial misunderstanding that no one even remembers can trigger an estrangement.
There are many reasons for an estrangement. I think we can agree that toxic relationships might include drug abuse, violence, mental health issues, involvement in unlawful activities and so on. But there are other intolerable situations such as certain personality disorders that can drive a person to put an end to the relationship. Difficult childhood histories, abusive parenting—These get carried over into adulthood. Now, unfortunately, we also have polarizing political views. Business deals gone wrong or loans un-repaid are also archetypal. The list goes on.
If reconciliation is your goal, both parties may have to settle for a different relationship. You can go home again but it may well be a different home.. The other person may never live up to your values or your standards. The question you need to ask yourself is do I really want this person in my life. If the answer is yes, remember It takes two to reconcile.
There has to be enough love on both sides for the reconciliation to work. Love is fundamental to reconciliation. You may not forget but you can forgive. Love is a word that is bandied about. Too many people have a skewed idea of what love is—a misunderstanding of the different types of love and its deep meaning. True love has strength and resilience. It “bears all things”. But studies have shown that each of us has a different capacity for forgiveness.
There is a secrecy attached to estrangement. Because of the shame and taboo nature of the subject, people are ashamed to express their feelings. The emotional pain and confusion it brings make it very difficult to talk about. People view estrangement as isolating. They tend to think there is something wrong with your family. There is a stigma attached to it.
When people look back at what went wrong they have divergent views of the past. They can’t even agree on who said what or what actually occurred. If a reconciliation is to come about, It may be best to start with the present and work from there.
Reconciliation will never bring back the relationship to the same level it was, but it still may be good to be back in the relationship—and who doesn’t like to think it’s never too late. Family membership is forever. If reconciliation is on your mind, don’t wait another day. I write from experience. The first sentence of a short message can be “I love you.”.
Read more » Revising Retirement
Marjorie Kondrack | Dec 28, 2024
Many of us have an idyllic vision of what retirement will be like—endless days of relaxation and recreation. But the rules of retirement are being re-written. This will come as no surprise given the changes in our culture and nation’s economy during the past several years. It may also be a little unsettling to some, as there was some comfort in the knowledge that, after decades of working, you could retire and enjoy your remaining years in peace and tranquility. But there are reasons why baby boomers might not ride off into the sunset as previous generations have. Retirement can be boring. It may be great for a while, but many miss the challenges that came with employment. Besides, you can only play golf or tend to your garden for so long, and traveling can cost a lot of money. Then too, while expecting to fill too many days in the company of loved ones, it may become clear that they have their own routines and commitments. Funding Retirement. We hear often that many retirees haven’t planned properly for retirement—nor does the current state of the economy, during the past several years, bode well for being able to have enough money to do the things you want to do. According to a recent survey, more than 80% of retired or soon to be retired baby boomers plan to do some type of work, in some capacity, during their retirement The increasing cost of health care. This alone is reason enough for people to forestall retirement, especially now that pension plans are becoming a thing of the past. You may have to re-assess the manner in which you withdraw money from retirement funds, with the help of a financial planner. The Social Security conundrum. What will Social Security look like in the future, if indeed it survives. I believe that it will, but the shortfall is a little scary and it’s just something else to weigh on your mind, for those approaching retirement years. Lifetime workers. Yes, they do exist. I personally know someone who claims he will never retire, and he plans to work for the unforeseeable future. Others retire, and after a year or two re-enter the workforce on a part time basis—while some transition from a full time job to a part time position—one that relates to their knowledge and expertise. Innovators. A 30 year retirement is no longer out of the question. Medical advances have improved our chances for living longer and healthier lives. Given longevity, there are those who want to enlarge their capacities and look for ways to continue growing—in a completely different field. Do most people want to work full time? No. The golden years may not be so golden on your body. But people still want to work and enjoy the flexibility of working on a part time basis—giving them the opportunity to enjoy their retirement and to spend more time with friends and family; or engaging in their favorite hobby.
Americans are renowned for their strong work ethic. Today, there are so many things to consider when we think about what we call “retirement “. Those with creativity will plan well.
Read more » Playing Possum
Marjorie Kondrack | Nov 20, 2023
ZERO-WASTE LIVING. Kondo cleaning. FIRE, or financial independence-retire early. Whatever your feelings are about these three movements, frugality is at their core, with the focus on minimizing possessions and living simply. To these, you might want to add another, “possum living,” which has been hailed as a manifesto for living cheaply. Possum Living is the title of a book written in 1978 by a free-thinking, resourceful young woman who went by the pen name Dolly Freed. The book’s subtitle: How to Live Well Without a Job and (Almost) No Money. Possum living is about dropping out of the rat race to live simply, growing food in your garden, living off the land and sometimes earning a little money from odd jobs. The author also offers a host of creative ideas for leading a laid-back lifestyle without a steady income. Freed talks about her love of growing tomatoes, her father’s love of fishing, and the chickens and rabbits they kept. Ultimately, the book is about living life on your own terms and saving money. Decades later, there’s been renewed interest in the book and it’s been brought back into print. It was re-released in 2019, with an update from the author. I had always wondered what had happened to Freed, and was pleasantly surprised to learn that she went to college, became a NASA aerospace engineer, married, had two children and now has a big garden. And she doesn’t make moonshine anymore. A frugal lifestyle can be fulfilling. In fact, it can make you happier than living large. Spending excessively has serious consequences. Today, the cost of carrying a credit-card balance is at its highest level in 40 years. Making $90,000 a year but spending $100,000? You may never be able to retire. One of the richest people in America is a paragon of frugality. Warren Buffett still lives in the same relatively modest home in Omaha, Nebraska, that he bought in 1958—no millionaire’s mansion for him. He buys his breakfast at McDonald’s, which he then washes down with a Coke that he pours himself. I’m not advocating for breakfast at McDonald’s—but here is a man who could have a sumptuous breakfast at the toniest restaurant in town, yet he prefers his humble breakfast at a fast-food chain. It’s said he enjoys eating at Dairy Queen, too. Although Possum Living was an engaging, fun read, and may be doable for an 18-year-old, it’s a little too arduous for those of us in our senior years. Still, we should all strive for a simple lifestyle that we can afford and that’s sustainable over the long haul. Part possum, perhaps?
Read more » Non-Leading Indicators
Marjorie Kondrack | May 13, 2024
IN TRYING TO FORETELL the economy’s direction, former Federal Reserve Chair Alan Greenspan has shown “a keen interest in men’s underwear,” according to CNN Business. “He sees underwear sales as a key economic predictor.”
This isn’t because Greenspan is preoccupied with nether garments. Rather, says an NPR reporter, he believes that “the garment that is most private is male underpants because nobody sees it except people like in the locker room.”
Yes, the men’s underwear index exists. It’s based on the premise that, during normal economic times, sales of men’s underwear are usually stable, but during an economic slump men prioritize other expenses over replacing their underpants.
HumbleDollar contributor Ken Begley may have unwittingly answered the question as to whether or not the U.S. is headed for a recession. A man before his time, he understands the underwear index—as indicated by his unabashedly candid “holey underwear” article.
Meanwhile, just in case you’re wondering, ladies’ underwear seems not to be an issue—presumably because women are more sensitive about wearing worn-out underwear. And who would have the temerity to conduct such an indelicate study, anyway?
There are still risks to the economy, but most economists expect the U.S. to dodge a recession in 2024. Meanwhile, here are a few more ersatz but semi-accurate ways of measuring U.S. economic downturns: Lipstick index. In a recession or bear market, women tend to replace buying more expensive items, like jewelry or handbags, with smaller purchases that act as a treat or pick me up—like a new lipstick. Hemline index. A scan through Vogue magazine indicates that longer hemlines will be one of this year’s trends. That doesn’t bode well for the economy and could be a harbinger of things to come. The theory, which has been around for a while, draws on the premise that skirt lengths get shorter in good economic times—the 1920s and 1960s—when women showed more leg. Hemlines get longer in bad times, such as during the 1930s, after the 1929 Wall Street crash, and during the economic turmoil of the 1970s. Perhaps the midi length, an in-between length skirt now trending, is a sign of today’s uncertainty. Relationship index. Some people seek a new relationship to give themselves a lift during an economic downturn. Research indicates that dating sites see an uptick in business when the economy isn’t doing well. If there’s one thing that’s worse than being low on funds, it’s being low on funds and lacking companionship. This activity could also be a source of low-cost entertainment. These indexes may not prove to be an accurate way to predict the economy’s direction, but they’re probably no worse than what we hear from professional prognosticators. As George Bernard Shaw is reported to have said, “If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion.”
Read more » The Envelope Returns
Marjorie Kondrack | Mar 6, 2023
HAVE YOU HEARD of the latest budgeting technique? It’s called cash stuffing. No, it’s not shoving money into your mattress. It’s the new name for an old budgeting method, where you divide your weekly pay into envelopes earmarked for various spending categories, such as food, gas, rent, vacations, clothing and so on. For each expense, you spend only from that envelope and, when it’s empty, that’s it. No cheating. No dipping into other envelopes. I’m sure you get the idea. After all, this isn’t a new phenomenon. I remember my parents sitting around the kitchen table, apportioning the family salary into various envelopes that they’d carefully budgeted money for. My father had one marked “house money”—a catch-all for food and miscellaneous small expenditures related to running our household. This time around, cash stuffing has sprouted into a popular industry. You can buy all manner of envelope sets, such as envelopes of different colors for different categories. There’s a budget planner binder and even a genuine leather all-in-one deluxe version for $89. The more you spend on these organizers, the more sophisticated and supposedly inclusive the binder, with all manner of compartments and zippered pouches. You can get them personalized, glamorized and customized. We’re now offered cash-stuffing budget sheet planners, stickers and even tear-resistant envelopes—on and on, ad infinitum. You can purchase a plethora of these must-haves on the Amazon and Walmart websites. The market for products relating to cash stuffing seems to still be in its infancy. Soon, an even more amazing variety of items will no doubt be available. You get it, don’t you? You have to spend money to budget money. Oh—and some sellers have renamed the cash envelopes “currency envelopes.” Fancy schmancy. Before long, we’ll need a new budget envelope to pay for all our cash-stuffing supplies. Whatever happened to "keep it simple"?
Read more » Building Connections
Marjorie Kondrack | Apr 22, 2025
I’m not so good in the genre of Rapper or hip hop singers, but I don’t let that deter me when my mind is in tune with a good word puzzle. Yes, I’m hooked on the NYT word game Connections.
Chances are you played or, at least heard of the New York Times “cult”puzzles. Over the past few years, Wordle became a staple as part of millions of peoples daily routine, and I highly recommend the addictive Connections as a new challenge for word puzzle aficionados and word mavens.
Brain training games and puzzles has emerged as a way to optimize your brain’s efficiency and capacity at any age—the more you challenge your brain, the less likely you are to lose cognitive abilities over time, such as memory and learning skills
This doesn’t mean you’re necessarily smarter overall, but it does suggest you may be better at processing certain types of information, and have fun doing it, while building your vocabulary—and learning to think “outside the box.”
I appreciate the magic of words—how they sound, their nuanced meanings, their emotional associations, and the way a word evokes a personal response. Words are important. They impact us, change our moods and emotions—and inspire action. They allow us to connect and to comment.
Connections is also different from Wordles or Crossword because it’s a word grouping game about finding common threads between words. And there are so many choices it’s Impossible to just guess. But you can access hints.
Think you can find the right word groupings? Learn how to think “outside the box”—and explore the possibilities.of sequencing.
The next time you go for a run, remember your mind needs a good run too.
Read more »
Personally, if you plan to open one, I recommend filing Form 4547 with your tax return, which I believe is a more secure way to submit the election. General A Trump Account is treated like a traditional IRA under Section 408(a) (not Roth), with some modifications. It is created for the exclusive benefit of an individual who:
Bogdan Sheremeta is a licensed CPA based in Illinois with experience at Deloitte and a Fortune 200 multinational.
- Zero to very, very minimal plan.
- Assume retirement spending is 80% of current, subtract pensions, social security etc., then multiply by 22 (based upon Bengen's new 4.7% guide), and there is your saving target.
- Detailed plans similar to what Mark has suggested.
It would be great if everyone could get to Level 3. But my guess is that most people are at Level 1. It would be a huge win for both those individuals and society as a whole if we could move as many as possible from Level 1 to Level 2. However, I also get that Mark has a much higher degree of comfort based upon his detailed, personalised plan than relying upon generic rules of thumb."