No Slowing Down
Jonathan Clements | Jul 27, 2024
WHO HAS TIME TO die? I never realized death would be so busy.
I thought I had my financial affairs in good order. But in the two months since my cancer diagnosis, I’ve made countless financial tweaks, mostly with a view to making things easier after my death for my wife Elaine and my two children.
Here are just some of the steps I’ve taken:
- I took my two checking accounts—my personal account and the business account for HumbleDollar—and made Elaine the joint account holder with rights of survivorship. One reason for the switch: My personal account is automatically debited for all utilities and other household bills, and the change in titling should make it easier for Elaine to keep tabs on things after my death.
- I’ve cancelled two of my four credit cards, and plan to cancel one more once I’ve used the rewards I’ve accumulated. That’ll leave just one card. Elaine has two cards of her own, so we’ll have a backup if a card gets hacked, lost or stolen during the trips we have planned for the months ahead.
- I closed a small IRA I inherited from my father in 2009. It had just $6,700 in it, but I’d hung on to it, partly for sentimental reasons and partly to avoid the income-tax bill triggered by liquidating the account. But after my diagnosis, I figured shutting down the account would be one less thing for my family to deal with.
- I rolled over the solo 401(k) I had at Vanguard Group—which was all Roth dollars—into my Roth IRA. That, too, means one less thing to deal with after my death. Even before my diagnosis, I was irked that Vanguard was turning over administration of its solo 401(k) operation to another company, another tell-tale sign of the firm’s weak commitment to less important lines of business. But with my diagnosis, I also realized I was less interested in saving for the future and more focused on giving, and that’s where my extra dollars will go from now on, rather than into my solo 401(k).
- I’m in the middle of getting a new will, along with medical and financial powers of attorney. Yes, I’m finally getting those powers of attorney—a missing piece of my financial life that I’d acknowledged last year and which triggered some well-deserved tut-tutting from commenters.
- I tweaked my IRA’s beneficiary designations. My two children will split my Roth IRA, which seems like the tax-smart way to go, because emptying that account over 10 years won’t mean extra taxable income on top of their current salaries. Meanwhile, Elaine and my kids will share my traditional IRA, with its embedded income-tax bill.
- I added Elaine as the beneficiary of my modest health savings account and the variable annuity I bought through Vanguard more than two decades ago. I purchased the latter when I was maxing out on my other retirement accounts and looking for further tax-deferred growth. Like its solo 401(k) operation, Vanguard’s variable annuity business was unceremoniously turned over to another financial firm, in this case Transamerica.
- I have a few banker’s boxes of financial papers stashed in the basement, which I’m now in the midst of pruning. Among other things, those boxes include every tax return since 1986, when I moved to the New York area from London. Yes, there’s some serious shredding to be done.
- I forgave the private mortgage I wrote for my daughter in 2015. That’ll necessitate me filing a gift-tax return for 2024, thereby reducing my $13.61 million federal estate-tax exemption. But given that my estate won’t be worth anywhere close to $13.61 million, there’s no financial downside.
- I’ve also made financial gifts to my new grandson and son. But if I don’t live for 12 months after making these various gifts, all concerned—my so-called lineal descendants—will face Pennsylvania’s 4.5% inheritance tax on all but $3,000 of the gifts. That isn’t an issue with Elaine, who as my spouse isn’t subject to the inheritance tax. Even before my diagnosis, we’d planned to get married. We moved up the date when I got the bad news.
There’s still more to come: I need to move various insurance policies—such as homeowner’s, flood and umbrella liability—into Elaine’s name. Ditto for various utility bills. I also need to make Elaine the person responsible for purchasing the various technology services that keep HumbleDollar humming along. And as I mentioned a few weeks ago, we’re still trying to figure out the best Social Security claiming strategy for Elaine, knowing she may be able to receive my benefit as a survivor benefit.
Jonathan Clements is the founder and editor of HumbleDollar. Follow him on X and on Facebook, and check out his earlier articles.
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If you are just getting married, some financial instruments require one to married for a minimum amount of time before they recognize the marriage, i.e. the 5/10 year marriage rule for Social Security. Some states and private financial companies may have a “got-ya’s” in their fine print.
Social Security pays survivor benefits if you’ve been married for nine months and spousal benefits if you’ve been married for a year. You are, I suspect, thinking about the requirement if you get divorced.
I quote this adage from Ben Franklin, “…in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes”. Kudos to Jonathan who has the mental strength to leave us his own wisdom.
You are amazing Jonathan. Thank you for your courage and wisdom. One of the gifts of having time to prepare for death (which we all have but often don’t realize it until we get a sobering diagnosis) is to not only take care of our financial practicalities but also the spiritual and relationship ones as well. I’ve taught a class based on Stephen Levine’s book A Year to Live for over 20 years which address the spiritual. A recent new book I discovered is In Case You Get Hit By a Bus which has a bit of everything in it. One of my favorite recommendations – writing letters to those you love in your life to be mailed after we die. What a wonderful gift to give (and especially to receive).
For those who missed it, here’s the article that Don wrote about the class he teaches;
https://humbledollar.com/2021/09/cds-and-cemeteries/
Jonathan, you keep giving, and giving, and giving. Thanks for yet more helpful guidance about end-of-life planning and actions. Today, I referenced Humble Dollar and your writing during a Death Cafe meeting I facilitated. Your practical advice has always been so helpful . . . and it continues to be especially so now.
Congratulations and many blessings on your impending/recent marriage!
Thank you for another excellent article. With friends and family passing away I have had final arrangements and transition of responsibilities and finances on my mind. I seem to be going backwards instead of forward and your details will help spur me on. My file I place important to do information is called Last Call. Thank you Johnathon for all you do.
Thanks, Jonathan. Your transparency is inspiring and instructive.
I’m nowhere near that organized and have much simplification yet to do. Some of the basics (wills, etc, consolidation, beneficiaries) done after walking the end with my Father.
I’ve only been imbibing the wisdom of HumbleDollar/Bogleheads for a couple years, and while I do my best to talk to my wife and make sure my kids have some awareness, I’m sure they will need more guidance than I can impart/get them to listen to/actually write up.
That said, I’ll plug Mike Piper’s “After The Death of Your Spouse” (https://www.amazon.com/After-Death-Your-Spouse-Financial/dp/1950967123). Easy to read (as are ALL his books), fairly comprehensive, check-listy. A copy of it is stored with my will, POA, final instructions etc.
Jonathan, all good things to do while we can. I’ve really enjoyed reading HumbleDollar.
I don’t know if you’re a church going man, but if not, it might be something to consider. If interested, I would recommend you read the third chapter of the book of John, from the King James version of the Bible (the most accurate translation).Then read the whole book of John. Then start at Matthew and read through to Revelation. Then, if you have time (or ask God for time) go to Genesis and read through to Malachi (the last book of the old Testament. Just a suggestion.
Wishing you and your family strength and hope in what comes next. And thank you for everything.
This is a heart-wrenching article, Jonathan, but I understand what you are trying to do. I had heard this phrase that the two problems in life that is not yours are birth and death. You are trying to rewrite that phrase to the degree you can. Wishing you hope and prayers.
Jonathan:
What an excellent article. It is full of great ideas.
I am not terminally ill, but in actuality, “Tomorrow is promised to no man.” I began preparations for my death occurring prior to my wife’s over 15 years ago. I am going to be 74 in October and my wife turns 70 in September.
If I do not wake up tomorrow morning, my wife has a 9 page “Love Letter,” that I have been adding to and revising for 15 years. It lists all accounts, (financial, utilities, streaming services, etc.) passwords, dollar amounts, assets, liabilities (zero at present) and the names and addresses of our Attorney, my Vanguard PAS advisor, my CPA, and my Insurance Agent.
Like you, we have 2 joint bank accounts and 4 joint credit cards. All of our utilities and insurance policies are paid through auto pay, however I still get paper copies of bank statements, credit card statements, and utility bills mailed to the house monthly, just to be assured that nothing gets “missed.”
Our Social Security benefits go to one of the bank accounts. Starting in August, we will also begin receiving 2 annuity income checks, monthly, as well, to this same account. After these funds are received, the money to manage the home is automatically transferred to the other bank account, from which all bills are auto paid. The dollars in the first bank account are currently earning 5.1% interest, as it is a MMA.
Both of our funerals are prepaid. All of our legal documents (Wills, POAs, Living Wills, Medical Directives, and Revocable Trust) are in order and were redrawn last October, to reflect the laws of the state in which we live.
My eldest child is our executor and she will be assisted by our attorney. She is aware of the composition of our portfolio and also with my desires for the use of the funds over which she will be co-trustee.
I have tried to the best of my education, experience and abilities to do everything possible to make my passing as stress free as possible for my family…and it certainly looks like you have too.
God Loves You and so do I!
Jonathan, I am still praying for you and your family.
Jonathan – it’s humbling (pun intended) watching you work and continue to give back to this community. Good luck and I’ll send some positive energy your way.
I interviewed Tim Ranzetta from Next Generation Personal Finance this week for the podcast (not live yet). We met at his conference in SF back in 2017ish I think and you introduced me to half the original guests and “good guys” of personal finance (Allan Roth, Bill Bernstein, etc). Anway we talked about you 😁
fwiw – your podcast has well over 100k downloads which is WAY more than our average or ~5,000
https://www.newretirement.com/retirement/podcast-episode-3-money-behavior-happiness/
If I/we can be helpful please let me know.
Steve
Thanks, Steve!
Hi Jonathan,
With regard to Social Security survivor benefits, you need to be married for at least nine months in order to receive them. If Elaine has not reached her full retirement age when she claims this benefit, she will get less than 100% of the amount you were entitled to. If this is the case, she may want to claim her own benefits first until she reaches her FRA and then switch over to her survivor benefits – assuming you were the higher earner. The opposite is true if she was the higher earner. In that case, she would take her survivor benefits first and delay her own higher benefit until she’s 70. I don’t know how old Elaine is but for the purpose of my response I’m assuming she’s your age.
Best regards,
Francine
“When push comes to shove” there are always unplanned issues deserving attention. While no one wants to die sooner than later, it is a blessing to have advance notice, and great you are making use of it. I hope you will later clarify the issue of SS survivor benefits which I thought were only available after 10 yrs of marriage.
A divorced spouse needs to have been married for ten years.
George,
The 10 years you are thinking about is in the event of DIVORCE. If you were married for at least 10 years, your ex-spouse is entitled to benefits from your account.
These benefits paid to him/her do not affect the benefits to which other family members may be entitled.
For a spouse to receive survivor benefits, you need to have been married for nine months.
Jonathan, to remind me of my life’s financial accomplishments, when I moved out of my BIG house in 2019 following retirement, I disposed of tax returns dating back to my earliest jobs in 1968 and made a spreadsheet of the AGI and tax paid by year so as not to forget. Clearing space, while reminding myself of the journey was comforting and helped understand the reasons I can be so generous now, as you have been in sharing with us and your survivors.
Thanks for the public update of the steps you are taking to make the administration of your estate easier for your loved ones. Over my pre-retirement career as a CPA I was honored when asked by a client with a terminal illness to help them plan their decisions and actions for good tax outcomes upon their death. You are helping not only your family but also those of the readers with your openness and shared knowledge.
Reading the steps you have taken I had a few thoughts I hope you might comment on.
In regards to your traditional IRA my understanding is there are spousal beneficiary options that apply only if your spouse is the sole primary beneficiary of your IRA. My understanding is if the spouse is one of several primary beneficiaries, then the spouse may be subject to the non-spousal beneficiary options. Specifically, by having both your spouse and children as primary beneficiaries you appear to be precluding your spouse from rolling over her part of your tIRA to her own. You could choose to split your IRA into separate IRAs with different beneficiaries to allow them to each make different decisions as their life course and the tax laws change. Less simplicity but possible more options.
I have not seen where you mention planning on getting an appraisal of your home. While the IRC 121 exclusion often eliminates the gain upon sale of the home, determining the inherited step-up in basis (on 50% of a JWROS property in a non community property state) is often best served by also having a formal appraisal near the date of death of the first spouse to die. I have also seen surviving spouses who initially plan to continue to live in the home only to later find that there is too much in the way of memories to continue living in the home or life circumstances dictate a move and sale. An timely appraisal of a jointly owned home can help cement the inherited tax value for a future tax returns of a spouse.
You have determined that you do not expect to have a taxable estate. As you note a 706 estate tax return will likely not be required because of your net asset level when you die. Have you considered planning for an estate tax return to be filed for you so that your wife could get the (potential) benefit of the portability election?
Requirements per the IRS website –
In order to elect portability of the decedent’s unused exclusion amount (deceased spousal unused exclusion (DSUE) amount) for the benefit of the surviving spouse, the estate’s representative must file an estate tax return (Form 706) and the return must be filed timely. The due date of the estate tax return is nine months after the decedent’s date of death, however, the estate’s representative may request an extension of time to file the return for up to six months.
Thank you for all of your writings and openness. You have helped me think deeper and make better financial decisions.
Best, Bill
Bill:
Your recommendation to split the IRA to allow for different beneficiaries is an excellent one. Even most financial planning professionals miss that one.
Thanks for your helpful thoughts!
Jonathan, I’ll add my thanks to all the others. By detailing the process as you organize and simplify your affairs for Elaine and your kids, you continue to help, educate, and motivate us all.
Thank you and please keep us apprised of your medical as well as your financial progress.
Jonathan, thank you for your candidness in what efforts you are taking. I applaud your strength.
Jonathan, I have come to look forward to your posts along with my regular biblical, devotional reading. You provide much wise counsel. I appreciate your transparency and your instruction. Your own declaration and even your post TODAY both affirms and challenges me anew. Thank you for the ways you have continued to instruct and encourage us, even amid a most challenging journey personally! I continue to “tweak” our own affairs as others share, too. Thus, I will share in hope that others might glean a few tips from our journey, too.
“Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom….Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as You have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. May Your deeds be shown to Your servants, Your splendor to their children. May the favor of the Lord rest upon us, establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.” Psalm 90:12-17
I am the administrator and manager of our “financial house,” as meager as it is. I was blessed to have parents who lived faithfully and frugally, and held no tightly guarded secrets among us as their six children. Their model provided a great one for me to follow. My husband’s background is quite the opposite. Upon his dad’s sudden death at 87 years old five years ago, his mom still did not want anyone in the room when she discussed her affairs with her financial advisor. As she moved to another state 18 months later, she entered a mortgage rather than paying outright for her new condo in Florida. Her advisor manages her finances, and I am sure he lives comfortably off of his commissions. My husband and his sister know little about her affairs, even as she is now 85 years old. I am saddened for the burden they will bear upon her death as they seek to settler her affairs and will lose what could have been such a gift to them and their families.
Meanwhile, my husband and I have five sons, two of whom live and work overseas. They were recently stateside after over four years of not seeing them. We had the “family meeting” shortly before they left the country again. We had just updated our wills two years ago, naming the oldest son as our secondary executor, after each of us as the primary executor in event of the other one’s death. With him living overseas, he instructed us that it would be difficult for him to manage those responsibilities single-handedly. He is quite capable, but it would interrupt his own family and work responsibilities for a lengthy time. At age 62 and 63 and in reasonably good health, with a family history of our parents living into their 80’s and 90’s, we had not established power of attorney nor health care power of attorney yet, though we had discussed it.
I provided our oldest son and wife with a “financial diary” of sorts, seven years ago, in the event that they needed to “find” our journeys and steward them in the event I was incapacitated or died. But, in the last two weeks, we have now updated our will to include another stateside son as the third in line as executor. I have confirmed with our legal counsel that the first son could begin the process and then “sign off” for the next son to pick up the remainder of responsibilities as necessary. This arrangement is comfortable for us and for the two of them, as well as for the other three sons. We also named one son who lives closest to us as the Health Care POA and POA for us as needed, and have signed copies of our Living Will. I updated a DETAILED copy of our financial diary and delivered a hard copy to the son who lives closest to us and would responsibly oversee those emails with auto-drafts, etc. I included a copy in our security box at home in the folder with our wills, written obituaries, funeral wishes, insurance policies, and other timely documents. All of our sons know the location of “the box” and how to access it. My husband would need help navigating the daily “financials” if I predecease him. My sons know that, so two of them now have that necessary info. I spent two weeks pouring through every detail of our accounts so I could provide accurate details of account info and how to access it all. It provided a good review for me, and as I age, will continue to serve as a good stewardship of my own time and resources, even as long as I personally continue to manage those!
We have responsibly named our sons as “equal share” beneficiaries on all our retirement accounts and real estate, after the death of each of us. Our assets will not likely labor them with inheritance taxes, though we plan to distribute the real estate to them prior to our death, as MY parents did. At this season of our lives and of theirs, it would not be wise to initiate those changes. Should we have the “luxury” of an advance time warning of impending death as you did, we would then make those plans concrete and our sons know those plans, as well. We have POD on bank accounts. I laughed at the comments about the “tax boxes” because I, too, have preserved those since 1986!! 🙂 I MAY “tweak” those in the coming days, but I will spend some time reviewing the goodness of God as I review those HARD DAYS which those documents record! There was never enough money on paper, but we always had ENOUGH through the Lord’s hand!
Again, thank you for your transparency and continued instruction!
“I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8
Grace and peace to you in the coming days,
Crystal Trout Baker
Gal. 2:20
Crystal, I admire your forethought and planning – well done. Regarding your plan to distribute your real estate holdings prior to your passing; please reconsider if the real estate has any significant appreciation as your sons would not benefit from the step-up in basis. Enjoyed your post.
Three years ago, my wife, who was in her mid-50s, developed an illness that progressively worsened over several days, leading to an ER visit and admission to the hospital where we both work. She was misdiagnosed by the first specialist, so it took several more days to reverse her downward trend. I was very shaken by the possibility of her imminent death.
Suddenly, our partnership, where we divided both the knowledge and duties to get things done, became a vulnerability, instead of a strength. During and after her long recovery, we took steps to remedy our mistake. We had already done a lot, we thought, but started creating documents to serve as an instruction manual for when the time of need again arises. We also recognized the need to create a simpler life.
We still have more to do, and we appreciate this reminder, Jonathan. Great article.
Jonathan – I’m sure what I have to say is redundant. Courage is to fight even when the end is already determined similar to Hemingway’s code hero. Your insights have always been helpful to all who have listened and ,now, are more dear as we sense your clock ticking in your writing. I’ve roped my wife into your posts and she is impressed! While I’ve been walking your path for years, we all hope that yours keeps extending. I learned several things from today’s post to readdress or confirm. One could take comfort from Lincoln’s adage that “In the end, it’s not the years of life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Thanks for sharing selflessly
Not gonna lie, Jonathan, my heart breaks a bit every time I read one of these from you. But please know that in your clear, practical way of not only approaching these matters for your own family but also documenting them for your readers, you are doing a LOT of good for readers and their families in the future. Thank you for being so generous in this extremely difficult time.
Jonathan- your pragmatism and your dedication to your readers is admirable. As a long time fan, I wish you all the best. As you know, all cancer predictions are based on probability and bell curves. I hope that you are at the very very extreme right of the curve my friend!!!
Jonathan, you are amazing and thoughtful. If only more people realized what a gift it is to have things in order.
On another note, we recently returned from Paris. If you and Elaine like seafood, try Langosteria in the Cheval Blanc Hotel. The food is wonderful, and the view is even better.
Thanks for the recommendation!
Jonathan,
In living, you have shown us how to live. In dying, you are also showing us how to live. The transparency of your journey is inspiring and informative. There is another book here!;)
Bill
You’ve been amazingly pragmatic, and informative, about your situation. In addition to a trust, and account titling, etc., I’ve made a somewhat detailed list of what to do if I’m not here. I did it with the thought that successor trustees would need some guidance and then realized my wife would need it too, since I’ve been handling most of the financials. Things like which bills are automatically paid. For some of those you don’t even see the bill unless you check the email. It’s basically “This is what I’ve been doing that you’ll need to do” and supplying all the necessary information. I don’t think it’s perfect, but it does fill in some of the “what is going on here” questions that will come up.
Creating instructions like that are on my to-do list.
Thanks for sharing Jonathan. I also wanted to say what a lovely article was written about you in the NY Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/13/your-money/jonathan-clements-cancer.html?unlocked_article_code=1.7E0.Xpif.pm8XjJ5EGsZJ&smid=url-share. You have an amazing amount of courage.
Nice article!
You’ve made me think about a lot of things I need to take care of myself. This is the stuff we don’t want to think about but have to. Thank you as always for all you do to keep your readers informed on financial matters. Meanwhile, I’m continuing to pray for a miracle, even if the only difference it makes is making me feel a little better … 🙁
Thank you, Jonathan. Elaine and your children will appreciate how you are simplifying things. Though Doug left our affairs in good order when he died in May, 2020, it still took some time to do what you are doing now: consolidating accounts and changing names. Now I’m continuing the process to make things easier for my adult children after my own passing. The two who live stateside are separately co-owners on my two checking accounts. One is my Healthcare Proxy, while the other is my financial and real estate POA, as advised by the attorney who recently re-did my will. She also suggested that I put contingent beneficiaries on my IRAs/Roth IRAs in case any of my children pre-decease me. Doug and I shared ownership of some I Savings bonds that mature in 10 years. To save my kids the hassle of cashing in paper bonds if I go before they mature, I’m going to make either my children or grandchildren co-owners when I convert them to electronic bonds. I’ve just finished cashing in matured EE bonds left by my mother-in-law. It was a bit time consuming obtaining official copies of her death certificate (she left them individually to all five of us). The one she left to Doug required me to provide documentation of my relationship to both her and Doug. Marriage license, birth certificate ……. But I’m very grateful for her generosity and to the treasurydirect.gov website with its easy-to- follow directions. My prayers are with you, Jonathan, on this different kind of money journey.
Jonathan, thanks for this very useful and personal article. I have resisted advice to create revocable mirror trusts for Chris and me, instead being certain that all our accounts name the proper beneficiaries. It appears you have taken a similar path.
Thank you for the gift of waking up to your writings!
No one yearns for death genre articles, but it is a necessary walk we all must endure.
I’ve been somewhat quiet here lately due to similar preparation for my parents. We have prepaid their funerals, including picking out burial vaults and caskets. My sister and I (& Mom) moved Dad into a new nursing home from an assisted living home, which is a tough ask of any senior. As my parents’ POA I have culled financial accounts.
I had to chuckle (& grimace!) about your paper tax return collection. My parents had a complete set back to 1958. It was fun looking at Dad’s Army Reserve paystubs from the 50s. I knew they had been solidly middle class, but those early years of marriage with my older sister must have been really tight. We were fortunate to grow and thrive in our suburban tight-knit neighborhood, parochial school, etc. I never did without, but I did earn my own money to have the extras.
One tip on the tax returns: My parents had made non-deductible contributions to their IRAs a few times and I would not have known that if I hadn’t skimmed each return before scanning and shredding them. Similarly, if anyone needs to reconstruct stock or rental property basis or depreciation etc don’t delete your best clues!
Please keep Dad in your thoughts on August 1, he turns 90!
Every day is a gift, please continue to do your fine work!
Hang in there, Stacey. We’re walking a similar path with my in-laws these days, and it’s time-consuming and stressful.
My birthday is also Aug 1. I’ll be “Paul McCartney years old” (“will you still need me, will you still feed me…”).
Fortunately he still feeds himself. It’s his body that is aching! He has endured lots of wear & tear during his 9 decades.
Thanks for commenting. It sounds like it’s been an arduous period. Be sure to look after yourself!
Thanks, Jonathan. I failed to mention I’ve been going through Medicaid application paperwork for Dad. I had thoughts of doing a post on it, but with our well-heeled crowd, it may not find the proper audience.
I agree that in the midst of misery, sadness, and stress pleasant diversion time is warranted and needed. I hope you are pedaling in your basement!
My mom raises my blood pressure several times a week. Yesterday I enjoyed some swimming time (& clandestine beers) at our neighborhood pool. That was my reward for getting her to finally agree to her hearing aid purchase Thursday!
Enjoy this beautiful weekend and put aside the paperwork.
Stacey,
As one who has been living with hearing aids for quite awhile, please know that for the wearer, what can be a remarkable ability to now hear better/clearer can be a sensory overload for a while. There are also new routines to learn. For me, this was extremely uncomfortable, even as I worked with my audiologist on a brain relearning ramp-up and several adjustments (there are many factors involved). I just received my newest pair a few weeks ago and it truly is, “Deja vu all over again”. The technology improvements over the past few years are amazing and helpful.
I offer this info only to try to help others understand that hearing aids do not always provide a complete and instant solution. Sounds as if you’ve been wonderfully patient with your mom. Thankfully, beer is inexpensive! Best to you and your mom!
Thank you. My sister swears by Costco and their hearing aides are much less expensive than other sources’ offerings. I hope in mom’s case these Phillips-branded aides are Goldilocks “just right”. They self adjust and are chargeable, thus no pesky batteries with which to fumble.
ALL of my fingers are crossed!
I almost put a plug for Costco in my note as that’s where I purchased both pairs. Far less expensive (thousands) than the frequently advertised hearing aid shops for the same make/model hearing aid, best warranties I’m aware of and superb customer service within their realm of service offered. I experienced a major ripoff on my very first pair years ago and swore off hearing aids (to my demise) before Costco came along. My wife is far more thankful than I am! 😁
FD: I’m not only a Costco member, I’m a shareholder too.
Three years ago we finally convinced my mother in law to purchase hearing aids with left over money from her husband’s life insurance claim about 20 years earlier. We were able to convince her that this was a good use as communicating with her extended family is her main interest/activity. This when she was 99! I truly this is why she is still mentally sharp.
It is a task not to be delayed, for one’s brain, socialization, and the family’s well-being.
Stacey – I agree that a post or article on Medicaid application is relevant to this group. It is another financial “process” that some people must endure.
Once I emerge from the other side of the application process & dad is accepted with flying colors I will then be ready to celebrate with a post. Remember, I’m not a lawyer, I just hire them. 😀
For starters, simplify your accounts (quantity) sooner rather than later, as you will be asked for 5 years of statements. 60 months of misery for every account– checking, savings, Roth, IRA Rollover, 401k, Rev Trust, other brokerage, Treasury Direct, etc. And that is the easy part. Credit card statements will likely come into play…
I think a post on applying for Medicaid would be very helpful even though the process might differ state to state. While the HD audience might be affluent, elders they are caring for might not be. I also went through what you went through and can empathize with how hard it’s been.
Thank you. It’s a necessary step, unfortunately. They did ok in retirement for a long time, but nursing home care at 9k/month breaks the bank.
Here’s a piece we ran on the topic a few years ago:
https://humbledollar.com/2021/04/caring-for-mom/
Thank you Jonathan, I hadn’t read that one! I echo others who have expressed their admiration and gratitude for your sharing so openly of your personal experiences and lessons learned.
Thanks for sharing. This reminds me to confirm my registration on the checking account. Even though it is joint, it has been over 2 decades since it was opened. I am not really sure how it would be handled upon death.
It is also a reminder that majority of people have an unexpected ending, therefore we should review these issues at least annually.
Banks allow pay on death (pod) or transfer on death (tod) designations. All should periodically review that the recipients are still the desired choices.
Jonathan, thanks for an excellent article. The information will help all of us get our affairs in order. We need to update our wild and POAs since we changed states.
Jonathan, you’ve reminded us that a man’s life isn’t measured by the number of years he has lived, but by the number of good deeds he’s done and his unselfish acts.
Without getting sentimental, thank you for taking us along for the whole journey. Your wisdom and common sense has benefitted many. I have been a salesman for you to many friends and relatives unfortunately none listened. I did. Thank you. Your Honesty, Candor and wisdom will live on.
God bless you bro.
Jonathan, thank you for continuing to share so much valuable information during this highly challenging time. All the best to you.