AUTHOR: Linda Grady on 10/10/2024 FIRST: Ben Rodriguez on 10/10/2024 | RECENT: DrLefty on 10/12/2024
Comments
I mostly have the kids selling candy bars and my neighbor selling raffle tickets for the fire department once a year. But, come to think of it, I do need a better door. I enjoyed all the comments so far as well as Dan’s anecdote.
My deepest condolences to you, Andrew, and to your entire family. There isn’t a family that isn’t touched by an addiction. In my case, my sister and I (and our mother while she was alive) waited decades for “that call.” Our brother is now in a care facility where he will hopefully live out his remaining years safely and perhaps even share his gift for comedy with the other residents. God willing.
😀 Now I don’t feel so bad that Doug settled on a simple jade charm on a chain to celebrate our engagement, followed by two gold bands, costing less than $100 total in 1973. From time to time, I think about getting myself something in diamonds, but now I think I’ll stick with my small collection of Native American bracelets.
If it’s a loving family, Dick. I know of a family where the single mother, highly intelligent and educated in a demanding profession, is a very troubled person, not abusive to her child as far as I know, but troubled. She somehow managed to get her child, also very intelligent and hard working, into an exclusive boarding high school with a full scholarship. According to the grandmother, who I know, the grandmother, mother and child are all very happy with the arrangement. As the grandmother said “It’s better for both of them this way. I’m so proud of my grandchild.”
I started my comment to be about the emotional effect upon my grandson, but changed it to be about the effect upon his mother, who made the sending abroad decision. I don’t really know what the effects have been upon my grandson: he seems happy most of the time now, though that hasn’t always been the case. However, the effect upon his mother was clear for everyone to see and memorialized in the forced smile in our family photos. Proud of him but sad for herself.
Thanks, Andrew. Beautifully written and so thoughtful. Another perspective from my family is the effect of sending your child abroad upon my former daughter-in-law. Seven years ago, with my son’s agreement, she sent their 13-year-old son to live with me and my husband to attend middle and high school and eventually, college here, believing that there are better opportunities here. There were bumps in the road, but my grandson has done very well, now completing his first year of college. What his mother didn’t anticipate was that he would become so thoroughly enculturated that his return to live in his home country is now very unlikely. Attending his high school graduation last year, it hit her hard that their close bond is unalterably changed. She went home sooner than she had planned.
Thank you, Lucretia, for this good advice. Though I don’t have a revocable living trust like you suggest, I will consider it. When my husband died suddenly during Covid, leaving me with sole custody of a grandchild, I had concerns about what would happen in the event of my own sudden death. Custody of the now-adult grandchild would have gone to one of my two adult children. I trust both of them completely, and they trust each other. I immediately made one of them co-owner of a new checking account and the other, co-owner of a second checking account. Similarly, I made one the sole beneficiary of a paid-up life insurance policy that has adequate funds to cover the costs of maintaining my home until my estate can be settled. By passing these assets, plus my IRAs, of which all three of my children are equal beneficiaries, the majority of my assets should pass to them immediately and outside of my will, as I understand it.
Thanks so much for sharing your father’s story, as well as your grandfather’s. I’ve been thinking a lot about your entire family this week, including the Humble Dollar community as it’s now two years since Jonathan’s diagnosis. A time for reflection and gratitude for the examples of others and for our relationships, in-person and virtual.
Definitely food for thought. IRA withdrawal strategy seems complicated, especially for less knowledgeable retirees. I appreciate all I glean from those posting here, especially from different perspectives and experiences.
Comments
I mostly have the kids selling candy bars and my neighbor selling raffle tickets for the fire department once a year. But, come to think of it, I do need a better door. I enjoyed all the comments so far as well as Dan’s anecdote.
Post: He Said I Wasn’t Very Nice
Link to comment from June 19, 2026
My deepest condolences to you, Andrew, and to your entire family. There isn’t a family that isn’t touched by an addiction. In my case, my sister and I (and our mother while she was alive) waited decades for “that call.” Our brother is now in a care facility where he will hopefully live out his remaining years safely and perhaps even share his gift for comedy with the other residents. God willing.
Post: What Addiction Couldn’t Take: My Sister’s Story
Link to comment from June 17, 2026
😀 Now I don’t feel so bad that Doug settled on a simple jade charm on a chain to celebrate our engagement, followed by two gold bands, costing less than $100 total in 1973. From time to time, I think about getting myself something in diamonds, but now I think I’ll stick with my small collection of Native American bracelets.
Post: Gold and Diamonds
Link to comment from June 12, 2026
You’re so right, Andrew.
Post: The Boy Who Tried Hard: A Reflection
Link to comment from May 28, 2026
If it’s a loving family, Dick. I know of a family where the single mother, highly intelligent and educated in a demanding profession, is a very troubled person, not abusive to her child as far as I know, but troubled. She somehow managed to get her child, also very intelligent and hard working, into an exclusive boarding high school with a full scholarship. According to the grandmother, who I know, the grandmother, mother and child are all very happy with the arrangement. As the grandmother said “It’s better for both of them this way. I’m so proud of my grandchild.”
Post: The Boy Who Tried Hard: A Reflection
Link to comment from May 28, 2026
I started my comment to be about the emotional effect upon my grandson, but changed it to be about the effect upon his mother, who made the sending abroad decision. I don’t really know what the effects have been upon my grandson: he seems happy most of the time now, though that hasn’t always been the case. However, the effect upon his mother was clear for everyone to see and memorialized in the forced smile in our family photos. Proud of him but sad for herself.
Post: The Boy Who Tried Hard: A Reflection
Link to comment from May 28, 2026
Thanks, Andrew. Beautifully written and so thoughtful. Another perspective from my family is the effect of sending your child abroad upon my former daughter-in-law. Seven years ago, with my son’s agreement, she sent their 13-year-old son to live with me and my husband to attend middle and high school and eventually, college here, believing that there are better opportunities here. There were bumps in the road, but my grandson has done very well, now completing his first year of college. What his mother didn’t anticipate was that he would become so thoroughly enculturated that his return to live in his home country is now very unlikely. Attending his high school graduation last year, it hit her hard that their close bond is unalterably changed. She went home sooner than she had planned.
Post: The Boy Who Tried Hard: A Reflection
Link to comment from May 28, 2026
Thank you, Lucretia, for this good advice. Though I don’t have a revocable living trust like you suggest, I will consider it. When my husband died suddenly during Covid, leaving me with sole custody of a grandchild, I had concerns about what would happen in the event of my own sudden death. Custody of the now-adult grandchild would have gone to one of my two adult children. I trust both of them completely, and they trust each other. I immediately made one of them co-owner of a new checking account and the other, co-owner of a second checking account. Similarly, I made one the sole beneficiary of a paid-up life insurance policy that has adequate funds to cover the costs of maintaining my home until my estate can be settled. By passing these assets, plus my IRAs, of which all three of my children are equal beneficiaries, the majority of my assets should pass to them immediately and outside of my will, as I understand it.
Post: The Financial Stress a Simple Document Could Have Prevented
Link to comment from May 24, 2026
Thanks so much for sharing your father’s story, as well as your grandfather’s. I’ve been thinking a lot about your entire family this week, including the Humble Dollar community as it’s now two years since Jonathan’s diagnosis. A time for reflection and gratitude for the examples of others and for our relationships, in-person and virtual.
Post: My Father: The Peace He Never Found
Link to comment from May 21, 2026
Definitely food for thought. IRA withdrawal strategy seems complicated, especially for less knowledgeable retirees. I appreciate all I glean from those posting here, especially from different perspectives and experiences.
Post: Should Retirees Get a Temporary Flat Tax Window on IRA and 401(k) Withdrawals?
Link to comment from May 19, 2026