Fantasy Island

I’M NOT PARTICULARLY well traveled. I’ll turn age 65 at the end of this year and I’ve never been to a Caribbean island. I’ve never been to Hawaii or Bermuda. Heck, I’ve never even been on a cruise.

I’ve never been to Canada or Alaska. I’ve been to a couple of the U.S. National Parks, but have yet to visit the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone and Yosemite. 

I’ve been to Europe quite a few times, mainly to London, but most of those were business trips and I didn’t have much time to wander and explore. On my European bucket list: Scotland, Ireland, Italy, Spain and Portugal. 

I went to Tokyo once on business but otherwise haven’t seen Asia. I’ve never been to Australia, New Zealand or Africa. Likewise, I’ve never been to South America, although I did get to Cancun five years ago on an all-inclusive vacation and can’t wait to go back. 

I’ve always longed to travel, especially to those glorious Caribbean islands with the sparkling turquoise water that I see on people’s Instagram feeds. But let’s face it: Travel is expensive and, as a single father with three sons, I’ve had other financial priorities, like saving in my kids’ 529 college plans and putting away money for my own retirement. 

The bulk of my personal travel up to this point has been camping and hiking trips with my sons. I’m a big nature lover and camping, I’ve found, is a cost-effective way to introduce kids to the great outdoors. The plan—one I’ve had in my head for as long as I can remember—has always been that the exotic travel adventures would come later when the kids were out of college and I had enough stashed away to splurge a little.

And thus it went through some 30 years of working and saving. At last, when my youngest son graduated from college five years ago, I thought that now, surely, I’d be able to travel.  

Then, unexpectedly, my father’s health went downhill, and my siblings and I needed to take care of him for six grueling months before he passed away. Soon after, COVID hit and global travel came to a halt. 

Be patient, I thought. Just a little longer. I had visions of lying on a beach in the Turks and Caicos, sipping on strawberry margaritas while looking out at those gorgeous blue-green waters. 

As the pandemic lockdown began to loosen up, my fiancée and I started to make plans for a Caribbean vacation. Then my mother had a stroke and needed to be moved into a senior living community. The Caribbean is a long way to go when your mother’s health is in question, so we nixed the trip. 

Two years on, Mom thankfully is still with us, but she’s growing frailer and needs constant care and attention. How can I go away on a weeklong vacation in the Caribbean and leave my siblings to take care of her? I can’t. Conscience doth make cowards of us all.

And so Rachael and I are focused on taking short trips. This month, we’re heading to Key West for an extended weekend stay. Even with that, I’m sticking with refundable fares and hotel stays because, well, you never know what might happen.

I haven’t given up on my fantasies of spending serious beach time in the Caribbean. I still hope to get back to Europe and maybe take a river cruise down the Danube. I’d love to go to New Zealand one day and see the country where my favorite trilogy, The Lord of the Rings, was made.

But as I approach my 65th birthday, I’ve accepted that I’ll likely never get to even half the places on my bucket list. My health, knock on wood, is still good, but that won’t last forever. My window for traveling is closing quickly, and I’ll need to tightly prioritize which places I really want to see and which aren’t so important.

I say all of this not to depress anyone, but only to inject a dose of realism into those retirement fantasies. The responsibilities and obligations don’t magically disappear when the kids get older; they only change form. There may never come a time when your horizon suddenly clears for travel and, even if it does, there’s no guarantee it’ll stay clear for long.

My advice: If you really want to travel, don’t delay. Make a priority of doing it when you’re young and healthy, before the children come along and before the parents run into health issues. If you already have kids, take them with you to the places on your bucket list. Heck, take the parents with you, too.

Spend the money, even if it means, for a time, that you’re not putting it away in investments. You’ll always be able to make more money. What you won’t be able to do is buy the time you need to do the things you burn to do. 

Life is for living. Squeeze the orange for all it’s worth, ideally on a white-sand beach with a view of the Caribbean.

Author and blogger James Kerr is a former corporate public relations and investor relations officer who now runs his own agency, Boy Blue Communications. His debut book, “The Long Walk Home: How I Lost My Job as a Corporate Remora Fish and Rediscovered My Life’s Purpose,” was published in 2022 by Blydyn Square Books. Jim blogs at PeaceableMan.com. Follow him on Twitter @JamesBKerr and check out his previous articles.

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