David Gartland

ONE OF MY FIRST employers allowed me to buy savings bonds through withholding from my weekly salary. It seemed like magic. Ever since, automatic payroll deductions have been an important part of my financial life.
My payroll deductions expanded to include my health insurance and my 401(k) contributions. It just felt good to me, kind of like the practice of regularly giving 10% of your income to the church.
On the other hand, payroll deductions are also how we pay taxes,

IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, there are signs saying “we buy junk houses” and “we buy ugly houses.” These businesses target undesirable homes—those that have fallen on hard times and can’t be easily sold.
Maybe the homeowners couldn’t afford the upkeep or got tired of caring for the place. Whatever the reason, the result is houses that look sad and have lost market value. Contrarian buyers see the houses not for what they are, but for what they could be.

FORD MOTOR COMPANY introduced the world to the convertible hard top in 1957 with a car called the Skyliner. It was a marvel of engineering.
To retract, the Skyliner hard top first tilted up and away from the front windshield. Then the top folded in half overhead. The trunk lid opened wide. The folded hard top swung into the trunk, which then closed. All by flipping a single dashboard switch. You can see it in operation in this commercial featuring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz.

WHEN I WAS a teenager in the 1960s, the popular expression was, “Do your own thing.” We baby boomers were supposed to reject our parents’ ways of thinking and do what we thought better. These better things included growing our hair long, wearing blue jeans, having beards, not wearing bras and making love, not war.
I liked this “do your own thing” way of thinking. But I also discovered that doing your own thing,

WHEN I ATTENDED Sunday school as a child, I was taught that God is always watching over me. It was a frightening notion, but one I grew accustomed to. My mother would often remind me to “watch your Ps and Qs,” though I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. Nonetheless, I understood the importance of behaving properly.
Today, it seems we have a different form of surveillance. As George Orwell so aptly depicted in his book 1984,

THERE ARE TWO TYPES of mistake I make: those that are unintentional and those where I should have known what would happen.
After an unintentional mistake, I’m perplexed by what went wrong. I might say to myself “I’ll never do that again” or perhaps “what the heck just happened?” These are genuine mistakes, and I try to learn from them.
By contrast, stupid mistakes are those that I should have known would occur. No matter how many college degrees we have or how many years on the job,

HUMANS HAVE ALWAYS celebrated the good times in their lives. These can be massive occasions, such as New Year’s Eve in New York City’s Times Square, or small and personal, such as birthdays. Celebrating is good. But what happens when it’s not?
Adults tend to celebrate with alcohol. For people like me, who lean toward shyness, alcohol can allow us to let loose. It feels good. We smile. People smile back. All is good.

I SPENT MANY HOURS reading articles and books about retirement before I actually retired. I knew I’d retire eventually because of how often I found myself out of work. Studying retirement became one more thing I needed to do so I could be successful.
Under the category of retirement, grandparenting was a frequent subject. This is understandable since many retirees are or soon become grandparents.
My situation is different. My special-needs son will not get married or have kids.

WHEN I STARTED learning about investing, I stumbled upon a book at my library that immediately grabbed my attention: The Lazy Person’s Guide to Investing by Paul B. Farrell. A portfolio championed by the book consisted of just two mutual funds—one stock index fund and one bond index fund, with 50% of your portfolio invested in each.
With only two choices to make, decision-making becomes far more straightforward. Farrell’s suggested 50-50 split simplifies the process even further.

ONE DAY, AS I WAS walking through the mathematics building at the community college I attended, I saw a poster that screamed, “Math Majors?”
That got my attention. The poster introduced me to a career possibility: becoming an actuary. My job path was set. Or so I thought.
The actuarial career path consists of passing either five or 10 standardized tests. Complete five, and you become an associate. Complete 10, and you’re a fellow.

WE RECEIVED A PHOTO Christmas card from a guy I used to work with. The picture was taken at his daughter’s wedding, with my old colleague standing next to his wife, son and daughter-in-law. Picture perfect.
The only problem: His story isn’t picture perfect. When he and I first met, we worked in the same division at an insurance company. Right before the division was closed down, I transferred to a different department. Eventually,

IT’S THAT TIME OF year when people think about giving. For my wife, this is what she lives for. She loves buying presents. She’s a very giving person and puts a great deal of thought into the gifts she buys.
She’ll buy gifts all year round, even when the event—such as Christmas—is months away. Problem is, she frequently forgets where she’s stored the presents she’s bought. They’ll eventually be found, but in many cases long past the date when she wanted to give them.

MY LIFE’S GOAL WAS to make money. I make no apologies for this. I’m not particularly gifted in this pursuit, but I did persevere.
I take satisfaction that I stuck to my goal despite all obstacles. There were many trips, falls, mistakes and failures along the way. I had to work hard and seek a new job each time my old employment ended. I set out to do something—and I did it.
That all changed when I retired.

IN THE EARLY 1980s, I was a bachelor in Brooklyn. Unskilled at cooking, I didn’t eat at home unless my food came out of a cereal box or snack bag. For regular meals, I depended on a small neighborhood diner.
It was open for breakfast, lunch and dinner seven days a week. On weekends, it was my main source of food. Like so many diners I’ve visited since, it offered complete meals—soup, main course and dessert—for one price.

FATHERHOOD WASN’T one of my life goals. I didn’t feel like I had a wonderful childhood, so I didn’t think I had much to offer my offspring that would help them to lead a wonderful life. If children happened, okay, but it was never a goal.
My first marriage ended because I placed money over fatherhood. I thought not having kids would speed my path to wealth. My wife disagreed—and walked out.
When I met my current wife,

I RECENTLY MENTIONED to my wife’s cousin that I’m taking required minimum distributions from my IRA. He won’t have to—because he doesn’t have an IRA. Instead, he keeps his car trunk full of cash.
He’s in the car business. He buys and fixes cars, all out of his mother’s two-car garage. He keeps cash to buy used cars at rock-bottom prices. People are willing to sell a car cheaper if they can get the cash immediately.

A FEW YEARS AGO, I came across an announcement for a blueberry festival in Hammonton, New Jersey. My wife is always up for doing something different, so we made our way there one summer day.
It turned out to be a great way to spend the day and learn the history of New Jersey’s blueberry industry. The industry was founded by a woman looking to expand the crops on her family’s farm around the turn of the 20th century.

MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” His contention: We should carefully pick the folks who surround us because, over time, we’ll become more like them.
Recent research offers some support for this idea. For instance, if we have a close friend who becomes obese, one study found we’re 57% more likely to become obese as well. If that’s so, we might also want to cozy up to skinny friends who count exercise as fun recreation.

WHEN I WAS GROWING up, I’d receive Series E savings bonds as birthday gifts from my parents. It was the start of many to come. My parents had great respect for savings bonds and, as I got older, I came to hold them in high regard as well.
Savings bonds never offered the highest interest rate. At a defense plant where I worked, a guy in the accounting department questioned my bond buying. He noted that savings bonds paid less interest than the certificates of deposit then available.

YEARS AGO, I SAW a Looney Tunes cartoon starring Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd. As always, good old Elmer was trying to kill a duck for dinner, only to be outsmarted by the much cleverer Daffy.
In this particular episode, Daffy is playing a game of catch with his duck friends outside Elmer’s house. An overthrown ball crashes through a window. Elmer comes out and says, “Who broke that glass? Someone is going to pay for that.” The ducks all bump into each other in their efforts to run away.

BY THE 1990s, New York City had been in decline for decades. What brought about the city’s recovery? It was, in part, the broken windows theory.
Picture a vacant building with one window broken. Most people wouldn’t think much of it. But this one broken window sends a signal—and, soon enough, others get broken. How do you reverse this decline? It’s easy: You get rid of the broken windows, and make sure things stay that way.

I HAVE MY MOTHER to thank for my good savings habits. She opened a savings account in my name when I was a kid. She also made sure I had a Christmas Club savings account every year. I was required to make deposits regularly.
I didn’t mow my neighbor’s lawn, have a newspaper route or sell lemonade on my front lawn. Instead, the money I saved came from the allowance my mother paid me.

ON TELEVISION, I WATCH the Barrett-Jackson auctions of expensive cars. When two bidders want the same car, they drive up the price until one decides enough is enough and drops out.
Why is this car so important to the bidders? In many cases, it’s a well-known car that’s highly valued by car collectors, so it’s treated like an investment with lasting value. Other times, it could be a model that the bidders had admired as teenagers,

FORMER NEW YORK CITY Mayor Ed Koch used to frequently ask the city’s residents, “How am I doing?”
When I was younger, I’d ask myself that same question. I was always trying to keep up with others, whether it was socially, academically, athletically or financially. My big fear was that I wasn’t going to make it. I could never let down my guard, relax and take it easy. I was always having to compensate for whatever I was deficient in.

I WAS A VICTIM OF identity theft. It wasn’t anything I did. Rather, it was what my former employer did.
During the pandemic, many employees were working remotely, including a member of the human resources department. She received an email from the CEO requesting that she send him the W-2s for all employees. So she did. Unfortunately, the email wasn’t from the CEO. It was sent from a shopping mall in Saudi Arabia.
As soon as she hit send,

ANY BABY BOOMER WHO grew up around New York City is probably familiar with the name Robert Moses. He was the city planner who wielded enormous power over the development of New York from the 1920s to the 1960s.
Having grown up on Long Island, I saw his work firsthand in two main highways, the Long Island Expressway and the Northern State Parkway. They were designed to appear park-like, with arched bridges, wide grass run-offs and trees alongside the entire route.

DURING MY INSURANCE career, I worked for a company that focused solely on certain types of businesses, or what’s known as niche underwriting. One niche was called senior living, and it insured continuing care retirement communities, or CCRCs.
These communities typically consist of apartments where retirees live alongside an adjoining nursing home. One benefit: When residents need nursing home care, it’s right next door. If they’re married, the healthy spouse can just walk to the nursing home to visit his or her beloved.

IN THE BIBLE, YOU’LL find the parable of the talents. Talents were a form of money. The story goes that, before a master left on a trip, he entrusted money to three servants. Two of the three doubled his money, and are praised for the intelligent way they handled the master’s money. The third worker simply buried the money, so it wouldn’t lose value. The master criticizes the third worker for being lazy, and takes the money away from him.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE whether to go with good, better or best?
My next-door neighbor always goes for the best, regardless of what it is. He pays more for everything. He’s a senior vice president, and I guess he feels he needs or deserves the best. God bless him.
That’s not my approach. I recently replaced my gas furnace and central air conditioner. My furnace was 23 years old and my air conditioner 10.

I TOOK MY FIRST cross-country car trip in 1972. It was the summer of my junior year in college. I’d be graduating the following year and embarking on working life. This would be my last chance for a while to take a long trip. I was traveling by myself, so I had the freedom to decide exactly what I wanted to do.
That’s what brought me to Pikes Peak near Colorado Springs, Colorado. One of the greatest auto races in America is the Pikes Peak International Hill Climb.

I HATED SCHOOL. There, I said it. From reading the bios of other HumbleDollar contributors, it appears most, if not all, enjoyed their academic experience. Many have gone on to acquire advanced degrees. I, too, went on to acquire post-college education, but only when my employer paid.
But the best education I received wasn’t found in the classroom, but in day-to-day life. It came from observing what others did or didn’t do.

IN RICH DAD POOR DAD, author Robert Kiyosaki touts the virtues of owning real estate as a way to reach financial independence. He explains the difference between how his father handled money and invested in his education, versus his friend’s dad, who gained his wealth by investing in businesses.
There’s controversy over whether this is a true tale or just a literary device to explain how to invest in real estate.

MY FAVORITE ROCK group is the Beach Boys. I particularly like their song Wouldn’t It Be Nice. It’s about young love, and how life would be so wonderful if only they were married and lived together.
I believe that phrase “wouldn’t it be nice” has been voiced by most of us at one time or another. The notion: If things were different, all would be good.
Unfortunately, few people display the persistence needed to turn their dreams into reality.

IF YOU’RE LIKE ME, you aren’t eager to spend down your investments. What fun is that? Aren’t you curious to see how big your portfolio could grow? Of course, you are.
After my wife and I are gone, my son will have dibs on the money we’ve amassed. We’ve set up a special needs trust to provide him with income when we’re no longer around. My son has no siblings, so we needed the trust to make sure he’s taken care of.

THE OTHER DAY, WHEN my son and I were out on our daily trash pickup walk, I found a $5 bill. No one was around, so I didn’t know who dropped it. It was just lying there.
I picked it up and put it in my wallet with all my other “pocket money.” This is money I use whenever credit cards aren’t allowed. The $5 bill slipped in next to the other $5 bills.

WE ALL HAVE NEEDS and wants. It’s easy to know our needs because we’re constantly dealing with them: buying groceries, paying rent, getting gas for the car. Our wants, by contrast, are only limited by our imagination.
Our wants are easier to satisfy if they’re close to our current needs. You drive an older Honda Accord. Want a new Honda Accord? Not too difficult. Want a red Ferrari? That’s a different story. Your usual car budget won’t pay for a Ferrari.

BACK IN THE 1980s, I was working for an insurance company on Wall Street. This was when I was between marriages. There was a nearby bar and restaurant called Harry’s, located below street level. The bond market was going strong, so the bond salesmen with their fat paychecks were there, which meant the pretty young girls were also there.
The place reminded me of Cheers, one of my favorite TV shows.

SPENDING ISN’T something I like to do. It doesn’t bring me lasting joy. I prefer just to buy what I need.
For many folks, spending involves borrowing. If spending is your thing, incurring interest charges on credit card debt and car loans probably isn’t a big deal. But to me, borrowing to buy something means I’m overspending. If I can’t afford to pay cash, I shouldn’t buy it.
Borrowing has been the downfall of many.

THE ONLY DREAM I HAD for my son was that he’d get a job. To most parents, this probably seems like small thinking. Why wasn’t I dreaming of him walking across the stage after earning his medical degree, or walking down the aisle with his new bride, or the joy of him holding his first child? Because that would not be his reality.
It took me a while to accept this. Based on my life,

WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, I didn’t have a girlfriend. Now that I’m older, I realize not everyone had a girlfriend during their junior high or high school years. But at the time, I felt like I was the only one.
By this time, my father had passed away, so I only had my mother and older brother to confide in. My brother thought I might have a problem that prevented me from seeking female companionship,

I PASSED ON MANY activities when I was younger because I didn’t think I could do them. I simply didn’t have a great deal of self-confidence. It was only after I had some accomplishments to my name that my attitude changed and I became bolder in my efforts.
Along the way, a saying I came across helped me overcome my lack of self-confidence. It’s attributed to Henry Ford, the father of the first broadly affordable mass-produced American automobile,

I’M A TERRIBLE READER. I have been my entire life. This was very upsetting to my mother, who felt reading was the key to success.
In fact, my entire family were great readers. Sunday’s New York Times was a fixture in my parents’ house. They’d spend hours reading every section. I hated it.
My father was born in the Hell’s Kitchen section of New York City. He attended Purdue University, studying chemical engineering,

THE FIRST ROCK concert I attended was The Byrds at Bowdoin College in Maine. We stayed nearby at a cabin in the woods. It was there that I had my first experience with marijuana. It was not a good experience—thank goodness. My drug days were short-lived.
One of the songs made famous by The Byrds is Turn! Turn! Turn! The song was written by Pete Seeger, who derived it from verses in the Bible.

FOR MY BIRTHDAY this year, my wife gave me a card that declares, “Not Dead Yet.” That might sound morbid, but I laughed. The reason: My wife had misinterpreted something I used to say to colleagues at my final job.
When they saw me at the coffee machine, they’d often ask, “How are you doing, Dave?”
Instead of saying “fine,” I used to say, “I’m still breathing. Count your blessings. Blessing No. 1: I’m still breathing.”
In many cases,

ONE OF THE POSITIVE outcomes of my unsuccessful life: I’ve had an incentive to study ways to be successful.
Among the self-improvement materials I’ve looked at, many have titles like “how to become…” or something similar. The good ones are easy to understand and make you feel it’s possible for you to achieve whatever they’re selling.
When the material is delivered in person, you get the advantage of a great presentation from a dynamic public speaker.

ONE OF MY MOST enjoyable jobs was in training and development. This involved creating lesson plans and conducting classes for the insurance company where I worked.
One mantra in the training department was “define done.” When we ran a training program for another part of the company, our department manager would stress that we needed to find out the internal client’s definition of “done.” In other words, what would the client require or expect our department to deliver so that the client would be satisfied with our service?

SOME PEOPLE CAN LOOK at a blank page and imagine a new creation—perhaps a new business or a new house. I can’t.
What I seem to be pretty good at is taking something that’s broken and coming up with creative solutions for fixing it. It’s like a game or a puzzle. The goal: Bring this broken object back to life as cheaply as possible.
When, say, a washing machine or a dishwasher breaks, the repair person will look up the manufacturer and order the necessary replacement part.

I WAS A PART-TIME instructor in public speaking for Dale Carnegie & Associates during the 1980s and early 1990s. I taught a course at the Downtown Athletic Club in lower Manhattan.
At the time, my wife and I were living in northwestern New Jersey, and we each took the bus into Manhattan to our respective jobs. The course was given after work, so I had to take a late bus home. This meant my wife needed to drive to the bus depot to pick me up.

I’M NOT A GENEROUS guy. Which brings me to tipping.
I see a price on the menu, and I’m willing to spend that amount on the food. Then I have to spend additional money, after having consumed that food, because someone served it to me. Why?
What about the kitchen staff who cooked my meal? Should I tip them also? After all, I can’t cook, so the kitchen staff is doing me a more important service than the person who carries my food to the table.

I’M NOT THE SMARTEST guy. That used to bother me when I was in school. The smart guys were making their teachers happy. They were named to the National Honor Society. They went to the best colleges. They seemed to have it all.
As I got older, and began to make more and more decisions on my own, I had to come up with a method that would allow me to make good decisions,

WHEN I WAS A KID, I would hear “old people” say, “If you have your health, you have just about everything.” I heard it. I understood it. But in truth, I didn’t really understand it—until I joined the “old people” category.
Looking back, I realize I’ve been blessed with good health. I’ve never broken any bones. I’ve never spent a night in the hospital. I’ve never had any long-lasting illnesses. I don’t regularly take medication,

MY WIFE AND I ARE different in many ways. This is good and bad. The good part: I get to see both sides of any issue we discuss. This includes our retirement.
Toward the end of 2020, we stopped working within three months of each other. We were both eligible for Social Security and Medicare, so those two key ingredients of a successful retirement were there for us. But we have different visions of retirement.

I GREW UP DURING the muscle car era. That was when Detroit automakers became aware of the baby boomers’ buying power.
The boomers, of whom I’m a proud member, didn’t live through the Great Depression. We had television, frozen foods, Mattel toys and a car in every driveway. Prosperity is what we were used to, and we loved it. It seemed everyone had jobs, so there was money to spend.
My friends and I felt that having a nice car was the key to getting that special girl.

WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, my father and I went to the local mall. I don’t recall why we went shopping together, but I do remember going into a Tandy craft store and buying a customizing kit for leather belts. Tandy Corp. would later become well known as the owner of RadioShack.
On the way home, my father and I were talking about the kit, and I made the comment, “It’ll be a good way to kill time.” My father shot back,

I’M SITTING ON MY patio drinking coffee, as I do every morning before my wife and son wake up. I go to bed early and wake up before sunrise, so when I’m drinking my coffee, it’s still dark. This is a great time for me to think.
This morning, I’ve been thinking about Jordache jeans. For those of you too young to remember, Jordache jeans were the thing to own in the late 1970s and early 1980s if you were a teenager or in your 20s.

BOXING CHAMPION Mike Tyson famously said, “Everybody has plans until they get hit for the first time.”
I’ve only been punched in the face once in my life. It occurred in sixth grade. I was alone in the boys’ bathroom when a bully came in. He said something to me and didn’t like my response, so he attempted to kick me.
I saw this happening out of the corner of my eye and I lifted his leg up,

MY WIFE NEEDED KNEE replacement surgery a few years ago. Her health plan, which was provided through the school district where she worked, was a preferred provider organization with a large network of doctors. After some research, my wife decided she wanted her operation done at New York City’s Hospital for Special Surgery.
I love hearing about people’s lives. I’ve long read biographies to learn how others gained their fame or fortune, hoping for pointers that would help me with my own life.

IN MY ENGLISH CLASS in junior high school, we read a play called I Remember Mama. It was a story about a poor Norwegian immigrant family living in San Francisco in the early 1900s.
The mother ran the household while her husband went to work and the children went to school. The mother was in charge of the family’s finances. Any time a family member needed extra money, he or she would have to ask Mama for it.

PAUL NEWMAN WAS BEST known as an actor, but he was also passionate about auto racing. He took his hobby seriously, improved his driving skills and won many races, including on his “home track” at Lime Rock, Connecticut.
His wife, actress Joanne Woodward, supported her husband’s auto racing career, but also worried about him. She bought him a Rolex watch to wear when he raced. To personalize the gift, she had an inscription added to the back.

“I NEVER MEMORIZE anything I can look up.” Albert Einstein, it seems, said this or something similar. I first heard the quote in my freshman physics class. The teacher asked a student to recite a formula. The student’s response: “I never memorize anything I can look up.”
I’ve adopted the same philosophy. My wife loves to point out that I don’t remember the names of streets in our neighborhood. But I don’t need to know them.

MY SON AND I WALK the streets of our town, so my son can pick up trash and recyclables. He’s obsessive-compulsive about trash. He impulsively picks it up even if he isn’t wearing gloves or doesn’t have his grabber available. To reduce this behavior, he and I go out daily looking for trash, so he feels there’s less trash out there.
We do find trash, but we also find things that I wouldn’t classify as trash.

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF is the timeless tale of a poor Jewish dairy farmer in Russia during the early 20th century. What makes the musical timeless? It tells the story of a worker, husband, father and religious believer who’s trying to succeed in all these facets of his life.
One of the show’s most famous songs is, “If I Were a Rich Man.” As the title implies, the farmer dreams of a life of wealth and how wonderful that would be.

THERE USED TO BE a TV show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. I assume it was created to make viewers envy rich people and want what they had. The memorable catchphrase of the host, repeated at the end of every episode, was “champagne wishes and caviar dreams.”
Envy is one of the seven deadly sins—for good reason. All it does is cause heartache and pain. When I was younger,

“YOU CAN PAY ME NOW—or you can pay me later.” Years ago, that was the catch phrase, spoken by an auto mechanic working on a broken-down car, in ads for FRAM oil filters. The pitch: If you spend a modest sum on routine car maintenance, you’ll avoid far bigger bills down the road.
The same philosophy applies to retirement savings. There’s a constant tradeoff between now and later.
Faced with life’s challenges, we need to strike a balance.

ONE OF THE MOST exciting events at a track meet is the relay race. Each runner has to run his or her leg, and then hand over the baton to the next runner. If the baton gets dropped, the team usually loses.
My wife and I occupy two roles in our financial life. I save the money and my wife spends it. This arrangement works well for my wife. When she complains about my frugal nature,

ROGER PENSKE STARTED as a race car driver, but soon found he’d be better off as a team owner. Penske’s holding company also has stakes in Penske Truck Leasing, among other businesses, as well as the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, home of the Indy 500.
One of Penske’s criteria when hiring race car drivers: select folks with a burning desire to win. Penske has said he can guide a driver’s thinking about the best way to pursue wins,

THE FIRST TIME I GOT laid off, I was working in an insurance company’s training and development department. I’d been working in another department at the company when I saw a job posting for the position. The training department was looking for someone with subject matter expertise and experience in teaching.
At that point, I’d been working in property and casualty underwriting for 14 years. On top of that, I was a certified instructor for the Dale Carnegie course in public speaking.

BILLY JOEL WROTE a song that declares, “I love you just the way you are.” But as parents, sometimes it isn’t easy to say those words about our children.
We’re supposed to train them to succeed in life. We all probably think we’re excellent trainers, so—when our children don’t get it—it must be their fault. We did our part, so why don’t they learn?
For parents of special needs children, things are different, but also similar.

REGULARLY CHANGING the oil is the most important step you can take to extend your car’s engine life. Oil is the engine’s life blood and changing it is one of the least costly maintenance steps. It’s also one of the dirtiest, crummiest, least pleasant jobs you can do.
Before I got married, I lived in a six-story apartment building in Brooklyn, with a parking garage in the basement. A friend of mine lived in the same building.

I LEARNED OF MY brother’s death by Googling his name. I always wondered whether his family would let me know if he was ill or had died. After Google led me to his obituary, I had my answer.
My brother and I were co-executors and co-beneficiaries of my mother’s estate. From the start, we couldn’t agree on how to settle her affairs. I wanted to sell everything and divide by two, but he wanted to hold off selling my mother’s house.

I’VE SPENT MY ADULT life on a self-improvement journey. It’s kept me moving forward or, at least, trying to move forward. I take great pride in what I’ve accomplished and have no regrets about the goals I set.
But a funny thing happened. I retired. I’ve applied the brakes to my life, and now I’m reevaluating what I’ve done and what I want to do.
I’m not Catholic, but I’ve attended many a mass.

MY FAMILY ATTENDED the wedding of our neighbor’s daughter. I was seated next to a friend of my neighbor. My wife believes the seating chart was based on the fact that the family has special needs children. This has happened frequently over the years. It’s as if those of us with special needs children speak a different language.
During the course of the evening, the husband asked me if I had a pen. I knew I did,

THE LAST TIME I HAD a job where I was eligible for a pension was 1994. People with pensions seem to count the days till they’re eligible to collect their monthly check. That makes sense: They know there’s gold at the end of their working life. I didn’t have this sort of “golden parachute.” If I didn’t save, I couldn’t retire.
From 1994 on, funding my 401(k) and IRA were my only paths to a comfortable retirement.

ON ONE OF OUR TRIPS to visit my in-laws in South Carolina, my mother-in-law asked me what I thought of her home in a 55-plus retirement community.
“It looks like a house,” I said sarcastically.
Her response gave me food for thought. She said, “I feel rich living here.”
My mother-in-law’s home was far from being a McMansion. It was a single-story two-bedroom house, but it had cathedral ceilings. I think it was the high ceilings that,

MY WIFE WAS STILL waking up from the general anesthesia. She’d had a Cesarean, or C-section. Meanwhile, I was in the nursery, helping the nurse record my newborn son’s vitals.
The Harry Chapin song Cat’s in the Cradle came over the loudspeaker. For readers unfamiliar with the song, it tells the story of a dad who is more interested in his job than his son. Having kids was never my priority. Making money was,

ANDREW CARNEGIE emigrated from Scotland as a boy, began working at a young age in a telegraph office, and eventually started Carnegie Steel. When J.P. Morgan bought the company, Carnegie found himself with a lot of time on his hands—and a lot of money.
Obviously, he was wealthy, with homes in both the U.S. and Scotland. But it’s what he did with his money that always intrigued me: He gave it away. Instead of building monuments to himself,

MY MOTHER AND MY future mother-in-law met at a funeral 37 years ago. They started discussing their respective families. It was during that conversation that they realized they each had an unmarried child, and they decided it would be nice if their two children got together. Thus, on that fatal day, my life was changed forever.
One of the stories I heard early on about my mother-in-law was how she lost a house to foreclosure.

STOCK INVESTORS TALK about taking advantage of market inefficiencies. That sounds nice, but I don’t have any confidence I can spot mispriced stocks, which is why I stick with mutual funds, especially index funds.
But there’s a market inefficiency where I’ve done pretty well—train tickets. In my late 60s, when I was in my final job, I commuted from central New Jersey to Philadelphia by train. This meant parking my car at the station,

MY DREAM WAS TO become a brilliant investor who knew when and what to buy and sell. I imagined myself doing the necessary research, which would allow me to make savvy decisions, which would then impress my wife and relatives, as they observed my uncanny ability to always know what to do and when to do it.
This never happened.
Instead, I took stock of who I was and how I’d consistently behaved. “Know thyself” was the advice of Ken Pangburn,

WHEN I WAS GETTING ready to marry for the second time, I went to Klaus Dorfi, the CEO of the company where I worked, and asked what advice he’d offer to ensure a lasting marriage. His words became another of those phrases that stayed with me for the rest of my life.
“Pick and choose your fights,” he said. “You can argue about everything—or decide what are the most important issues that need to be agreed upon.”
We all know people who disagree often.

WHEN MY WIFE AND I got married, she had a credit card with an outstanding balance. Back then, you could write off the interest on your tax return. Still, I hate debt and I paid off her balance. Ever since, she’s continued to maintain a separate credit card because I wanted her to have a credit history, so she could take out a loan on her own if I died. We’ve always paid off her monthly balance in full.

I WAS FIRED OR LAID off 10 times during my career. Why did this happen so often? One reason: I made a decision that I’d never quit a job.
This position was formed during high school when I had a job parking cars at a local Chinese restaurant. I became friends with the guy who’d set up this deal with the restaurant’s owners. While the job was fun, I realized one night that the payment this guy received from the owners wasn’t being divided evenly among all the teenagers parking cars.

I DON’T KNOW THAT MY life has been all that different from that of others. Still, what’s happened to me has—I believe—been good preparation for retirement. Here are seven life lessons I learned on my journey from childhood through to my departure from the workforce just before my 70th birthday.
Lesson No. 1: Doing it yourself can save big money. My older brother got me interested in cars. This was the late 1950s and 1960s,

IN 1980, MY FIRST WIFE and I spent the Labor Day weekend with friends on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. We went out for breakfast and I drank a lot of coffee. Our friends were planning a day at the beach. This is not a good idea for me because—being of Irish descent—I come in two colors, red and white. Either I look pale and sickly or I’m red as a beet. To avoid this latter state,

I LIVE IN CENTRAL New Jersey. Within walking distance of my house are some McMansions—huge homes clustered together in new developments. I look at them and think, “Who cleans these things?”
I live in a three-bedroom ranch-style house with an unfinished basement and a two-car garage. My garage is filled with two cars and my tools. The basement is filled with my wife’s stuff. We bought the house when my wife was pregnant. Thirty-three years later,

THERE ARE CERTAIN expressions I’ve heard during my lifetime which, for one reason or another, have stayed with me. In a previous article, I related how a coworker encouraged me to “keep on keeping on” when confronted with a challenge, and how Napoleon Hill’s expression “burning desire” struck me as a great way to describe a goal worth seeking.
Here’s another expression I’ve never forgotten: “The other side sucks.”
I’ve been a race car fan ever since my older brother introduced me to automobile racing in my youth.

MY FATHER DIED WHEN I was 15 years old. My mother didn’t work outside the house, so we now had no money coming in. She eventually got a job as a receptionist in the local hospital’s X-ray department, but she only worked weekends and holidays. Meanwhile, by then, my older brother was married and out of the house, so he wasn’t affected by this change in our family’s financial circumstances.
As I saw it,

“I ALWAYS MADE EVERY team I tried out for,” lamented a college freshman after failing to make the lacrosse team.
I tried to make him feel better. “I never made any teams,” I said.
His reply: “You’re used to failing. I’m not.”
That response took me by surprise. But I thought about it, and realized he was right. I had struggled all my life in academics, sports, socializing and with the opposite sex. I was getting used to others around me always being better.

I HAVE BEEN FIRED, downsized, restructured and laid off 10 times in my life. The first time was at age 16, when I worked for a McDonald’s-like hamburger joint, and the last time was shortly before I turned 70, when I was working for an insurance company as the manager of regulatory compliance.  
I can’t blame this on discrimination. I’m a white Christian male, five feet 10 inches tall, college educated, and of sound mind and body,