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HUMANS HAVE ALWAYS celebrated the good times in their lives. These can be massive occasions, such as New Year’s Eve in New York City’s Times Square, or small and personal, such as birthdays. Celebrating is good. But what happens when it’s not?
Adults tend to celebrate with alcohol. For people like me, who lean toward shyness, alcohol can allow us to let loose. It feels good. We smile. People smile back. All is good. Until the morning after.
I have had many of those “mornings after” in my adult life. I normally recovered nicely and moved on. Until my final morning after.
It was 1986. I had a date with my then-girlfriend, now my wife, when she was the hostess at her company’s office party. She suggested that I wait in a side room while the party was going on. To help me relax, she suggested I have some wine until the party was over. We would then go out afterward.
That was great until I got a buzz on. At this point, the office party was over and we were invited to continue the party at a bar at South Street Seaport in lower Manhattan. Following that, we ate out on the company’s dime at a steak restaurant, where the wine continued to flow.
The next morning, I woke up in my future wife’s Manhattan apartment with the worst hangover of my life. I had to drive to my job in New Jersey, where I endured eight hours of agony. To make matters worse, I was scheduled to teach my Dale Carnegie class that night, so I couldn’t head home to recover.
As apparent punishment for my night out, the subject of my class that night was enthusiasm. I didn’t feel qualified to teach the topic in my hungover state, but I did it anyway.
After my recovery, I assessed the situation and realized I was a binge drinker. I didn’t have a strong urge to drink. But once I got a buzz on, I just wanted to get drunk. This was not a good practice in New Jersey at the time, since it had newly enforced DUI laws.
I was driving to work back then. I made the decision that I needed to give up drinking—cold turkey. I haven’t had a drink since, not even at my wedding. The fun of celebrating isn’t worth the price if it can cost you your job, your driver’s license or your marriage.
I’m not against drinking. We have alcohol in my house because my wife and our friends drink. I simply abstain. As a binge drinker, I don’t have a strong urge to drink that first cocktail. I’m lucky that way.
Still, I’ve paid a price for not drinking. Companies expect you to drink at company functions. By not drinking, I was my usual shy, quiet self, surrounded by rowdy, loud, happy people. This put me in an even more isolated state. The more they drank, the louder they got, until the jokes they were telling were lost on me. At that point, I usually headed for the exit.
As with all things in life, balance is important. Knowing who you are and how to handle yourself in various situations will help you navigate your social and professional life. Being at the party is different from being the life of the party. Be sure you know the difference.
I really enjoyed reading the article! I often find myself getting carried away with drinks when I’m with friends and family. Despite my best efforts, I struggle to completely stop drinking. Recently, I purchased some nice bottles from Costco, and I’ve built up a collection that I don’t want to go to waste. This leaves me in a bit of a dilemma: whether to continue drinking and potentially face negative consequences or to stop and let my collection sit unused. Either way, it feels like I’m losing something.
Hello Dry January! My wife and I are doing the bourbon tour at the end of February so that will dissolve that. But we are only weekend warriors, zero drinking Sunday to Friday.
Thanks King David,
I’m friends with a lady who was a director for the state dept of revenue which encompasses all things income for the department. Including court proceedings.
She asked me if I really wanted to spend lots and lots of money and complicate my life beyond imagination by getting behind the wheel after having a little drinkepoo.
I did NOT need that!
Excellent post.