ON ONE OF OUR TRIPS to visit my in-laws in South Carolina, my mother-in-law asked me what I thought of her home in a 55-plus retirement community.
“It looks like a house,” I said sarcastically.
Her response gave me food for thought. She said, “I feel rich living here.”
My mother-in-law’s home was far from being a McMansion. It was a single-story two-bedroom house, but it had cathedral ceilings. I think it was the high ceilings that, in the eyes of my mother-in-law, made the house more majestic than it really was.
I’m sure most HumbleDollar readers want to be wealthy, or well-off, or financially comfortable, or some similar goal. But what would make you feel rich?
There are plenty of people who are rich but don’t feel that way because they compare themselves to “the Joneses,” who appear to have even more. Knowing others have more can make us feel poor. That’s a shame. What good is being rich if you don’t feel rich?
I don’t have a degree in psychology, so I’m not qualified to say why some folks feel rich and others don’t. But I would venture to suggest that, if you have money and you’re content with what you have, you probably feel rich.
Now, if you took a survey of HumbleDollar readers, I bet we’d all have different notions of what makes us feel rich. The behavior that makes me feel rich is buying everything with a credit card. Thanks to that magical piece of plastic, I never feel like there’s something I can’t have. Don’t get me wrong: I never carry a balance on my card from one month to the next and, in fact, I never buy anything unless I have the money in the bank to pay for it. Still, having this piece of plastic in my wallet makes me feel rich.
I’ve read reports that say people who use their credit cards have a tendency to overspend and get themselves into financial trouble. That’s probably true, but I still feel rich using a credit card. If I had to take cash out of my wallet every time I bought something, I’d feel poor, stressed and unhappy. There are too many things in this world that can make us feel unhappy—which is all the more reason to identify those things that make us feel rich.
Another behavior that makes me feel rich, especially now that I’m retired and not earning a salary, is having a sizable checking account balance. From a financial standpoint, this isn’t a wise thing to do. The money in my checking account isn’t earning a lot of interest. But it makes me feel rich to know the money is there and that I can easily pay my bills. I think of it as my sleep insurance.
It reminds me of a scene from the movie Love Story. Ryan O’Neal comes home from college and asks his rich father, played by Ray Milland, for money for something out of the ordinary. Ray Milland opens his checkbook and says, “How much?” Now, that’s rich.
I watch the TV show American Pickers on the History channel. It’s a fascinating study of people who accumulate what I consider junk. When the hosts of the show try to buy this stuff for their antique stores, many times the owners don’t want to sell at any price. The hosts know what sort of things people come into their stores to buy, so they know what’s valuable and what’s not. By contrast, the owners of this stuff think everything they have is valuable. Their stuff makes them feel rich.
A recurring theme among a lot of these people: At a young age, they were denied many things. It could have been during the Great Depression or because of their family’s financial position, or maybe a natural disaster caused them to lose everything. But the stuff that these folks have accumulated now makes them feel rich, which I think is wonderful. Many have said they like to surround themselves with their possessions.
Life is too short to sweat the little things—or anything else for that matter—so it’s important to identify those activities, habits or possessions that help you appreciate your life, regardless of how much or how little you have. Which raises the question: What makes you feel rich?
David Gartland was born and raised on Long Island, New York, and has lived in central New Jersey since 1987. He earned a bachelor’s degree in math from the State University of New York at Cortland and holds various professional insurance designations. Dave’s property and casualty insurance career with different companies lasted 42 years. He’s been married 36 years, and has a son with special needs. Dave has identified three areas of interest that he focuses on to enjoy retirement: exploring, learning and accomplishing. Pursuing any one of these leads to contentment. Check out Dave’s earlier articles.
Want to receive our weekly newsletter? Sign up now. How about our daily alert about the site's latest posts? Join the list.
I love this idea…”What makes you feel rich?”
Recently my wife and I were discussing my decision to “cut back” on our charitable giving. Since I retired in January, I thought it prudent to reduce our charitable giving since our income had been reduced. In recent years, we had been supporting 11 charities and funding a scholarship at a local Community College. In my mind, I decided that if God thought 10% was enough, who was I to think differently?
In our lifetime, we have been truly blessed. We have never “missed a meal,” paid a bill late due to not having the money, our two children both graduated from college without student debt, and we are now retired without any debt, including mortgage debt. Over the past three years, since I turned 70 1/2, I have used my RMDs as QCD’s and given the money to charity. This year, after giving my 10%, I still had $3310.93 left in RMDs.
What makes me “feel” rich? Giving money to charity…so despite believing that 10% is the right amount, because we have been blessed, I am going to continue supporting our 11 charities. The amounts will be a little smaller, but as long as we can afford it, we will continue sharing our wealth.
In the back of my mind, I hear the gospel story of the widow’s mite…and I realize that God willing, I will always be able to “afford it.”
Thank you David, for a wonderful article.
I felt rich when I was able to walk away from my corporate job at age 48 and set up business as a self-employed creative type. Now 15 years later, I see how truly “rich” a lot of my newly retiring friends appear to be (by the things they’re buying and the travel they’re doing) and realize anew that I left a lot of compounded money on the table by walking away from the W2 job and benefits all those years ago. That said, I would never trade those years of day-to-day flexibility, no commuting, lack of corporate stress, and feeling like I was finally doing what I wanted to do. So being able to follow my own my path – not as much money = my definition of rich, I guess.
The credit card makes me feel rich by helping to avoid under-spending. I’m one-year into retirement with “enough” in the portfolio, but the frugal habits of a lifetime are hard to defeat, even when they don’t make sense anymore. Whipping-out the card makes it easier to spend. 🙂
I also like the overlarge checking account balance. Not crazy-overlarge, but more than ample. Per Andrew Forsythe below, a healthy balance in the linked online savings account emergency fund helps keep habit this in check.
I really didn’t relate to this article. I cannot remember ever worrying about “feeling rich”. Feeling that I have enought to live comfortably, yes. Feeling that I don’t have to worry about every penny, yes. Feeling rich, or better off than my neighbors? Never. I can’t help feeling that “feeling rich” is a moving target: Have one million? Not enough, I need two. Have two million? Not enough, I need five. Etc.
If I had worried about feeling rich I would not have retired early, and I would have missed out on a lot of great travel. Equally, if I had insisted on high-end travel instead of budget travel, I would have missed out on a lot. I submit that “enough” is a much better target than “rich”.
Also, why the sarcastic response to your MIL? Why do people need McMansions? All that conspicuous consumption is hell on the environment. A two bedroom one story house sounds ideal for an over 55 person. My two bedroom two bath with den apartment in a CCRC is actually bigger than I need.
It’s all relative is it not? To many people living in the CCRC as you describe would make you rich. You’re not feeling rich may not be how others perceive you.
Just for fun look up where your income and net worth stand relative to Americans your age and see your percentile.
The article was not about whether one is objectively rich – and by what standard?- but feeling rich. You missed the point of my post (and perhaps the article) – I don’t worry about feeling rich, or, for that matter, poor. I am, for the most part, content with what I have and I ‘m not concerned about comparing my income/net worth to others.
David, you said that having a goodly amount of cash in your checking account makes you feel rich. But wouldn’t you have that same “sleep insurance” feeling if you kept that cash in an online savings account (linked to your checking account) which earned upwards of 5% interest?
I understand this. I always keep an excess in my checking account because I don’t have to constantly keep track. For instance, I haven’t balanced a checkbook in over ten years. I scan bills and the history of accounts to make sure the charges are valid and the balances look right, but not balancing a checkbook is a luxury that makes me feel wealthy. Yes, I’m leaving a little money on the table.
There are money market or money fund checking accounts, but I’m not changing bank/brokerage firms for $50/yr. Probably no fee ATM withdrawals mean I’m actually coming out ahead. That’s a feeling of wealth, never thinking about whether getting cash will involve fees or a “balance low” screen instead.
I would say being rich means having a larger income than you can spend. I scrimped and saved while I was working, but now I am well-off and can just buy whatever I need, while still living on a fraction of my income. Results for 2024 show that I spend about 30% of my income, and paid 20% in taxes. And I spent about $10K on non-essential purchases – paintings and audio equipment.
The incredible gift of being retired and of waking each day with largely intact cognitive and physical abilities make me feel rich! I pinch myself that, for most of human history and still in many parts of the world, this would not be possible.
Jo Bo…
RIGHT ON! Thank you Lord for another day and for being able to enjoy it.
Back in August, 2023, I decided that my health was worth more than more money, so I told my employer I was retiring in January. I began a new diet (The Carniviore Diet) and I promised myself when my weight dropped below 250, I would start going to the Gym.
On January 5th I retired at age 73, after 15 years, from my 3rd career, college professor. Two weeks later I hit 249.8 and on the January 15th I started going to the gym.
In the past 27 weeks I have lost 51.6 pounds and I have been going to the gym every other day since January 15th.
Rich beyond measure and loving life.
Amen to that feeling. Having no alarm and waking up “whenever” is a delight.
Turning on a faucet to have warm water for bathing or cold water for drinking, a wonder.
Having countless choices for nourishment, all at a grocery store or in our refrigerator, which I can afford, a blessing.
Not having to build a fire to get my body warm or to cook said food, a time and back saver.
Not mucking a stall, saddling an animal, or pumping tires, but instead enjoying safe, readily available transportation, at the spur of a moment, a joy!
We are all rich.
By any standard measure of income or net worth most people would call us rich, but I have never felt rich and still don’t. Only the last few years working and in retirement have we been able to spend money without concern.
Connie has no concept of where we are economically. She doesn’t feel or act rich either. She will chastise me if I don’t use a coupon. She shops for sales, but on occasion she doesn’t understand why one of her friends just doesn’t by this or that as she might.
i have a theory that the way we feel is driven by our growing up in very modest households in lower middle class families, fathers with basic jobs, no college graduates, living in apartments.
We just can’t shake our past or our feelings about money or being very average. The fact is I often measure ourselves against the data to see how we stand. I just don’t want to be average because not being so is one measure of my success in life.
I think a good definition of being rich in retirement, is if you are able to save money from your RMDs rather then spending all of your withdrawals on true essentials.
So True…so true.
In my case, using the money from RMDs and QCDs does it for me.
I agree about how our past influences us today. I remember hearing a story on Wall Street Week about 40 years ago. A guest commented on this same effect, noting that she had observed a older gentleman (who had lived through the depression) stooping to pick up a dime on the sidewalk even though his net worth was north of $300 million. She went on to say it wasn’t that he was that cheap, but rather that his upbringing during the depression simply didn’t allow him to just walk past a dime on the sidewalk. Similarly, my Mom (who was a young girl during the depression) was almost religious in never wanting to “waste” anything and a favorite saying she had was “it’s a sin to waste food”. Thanks to Mom, I still feel that way today and hate to waste anything.
Me too and I pick up every penny I see on the ground. The most my parents ever accumulated was about $30,000 and they lived only on SS.
Surely you have walked your beloved through the delicacies of your financial situation. If you haven’t, get going.
Like R Quinn and David Powell below, my bride of 50 years this June has zero interest in our finances. I too have authored a seven page document that is updated regularly, as needed, outlining in detail, all of our accounts, policies, user names and passwords, balances, etc. The title is, “What do I do Now?”
She keeps the written document in her Jewelry Box, and the original digital version is in my iMac Desk Top…upper left hand corner, all by itself.
Because she is a “private person,” she doesn’t want our children to know our finances, but as my daughter is our executrix, she is aware of the general situation and knows where the document is kept.
She has no interest, I tried. I did prepare a detailed final instructions document indicating all she would have to live on, how to obtain it, etc. I gave a copy to two of our children to review and so they know it all as well.
I’m in this boat too. The only way I can get Nancy to spend any time learning about our finances or investments is by writing a piece for Jonathan. She’ll read that before he gets it. 🤷🏼♂️
No offense, but that blows my mind. I am always beating the drum to promote having (financially) well-informed spouses. At least you have tried, but please keep trying.
Thank goodness for your children–see how I didn’t use “kids” 😀
The use of the term kids always gets my goat, pun intended
It gets Richard’s goat, too. 😀
Good one, the children. I suspect my wife at 84 is from a very different generation than you are.
I have noticed that there are things that can make us feel rich or poor. Seem to be based on previous experiences. I often buy clothes from consignment stores which is fine if the store is clean and well organized. But sorting through bins of dirty kids shoes for my kid’s size… that makes me feel poor. When I realized that, I decided not to shop that kids resale store again!
What makes me feel rich? Being able to donate to my daughter’s sports team to fulfill an equipment need. Buying a “new to me” luxury brand car with the features I wanted… for cash!
It is interesting to notice how our purchases feel and can provide better chances of money leading to happiness.
Search out or start a FB “Buy Nothing” group in your area. There is minimal need to buy oodles of childrens’ clothes from a store…the “Marie Kondo folks” and regular helpful neighbors are willing to give so much away. And it’s an easy way to meet community members and to keep things out of a landfill, for a bit longer.
These groups offer decor, furniture, and tools, too.
Freecycle is another choice to investigate.
With the money you save, you could help your child’s team even more!