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MY SON AND I WALK the streets of our town, so my son can pick up trash and recyclables. He’s obsessive-compulsive about trash. He impulsively picks it up even if he isn’t wearing gloves or doesn’t have his grabber available. To reduce this behavior, he and I go out daily looking for trash, so he feels there’s less trash out there.
We do find trash, but we also find things that I wouldn’t classify as trash. These items may be tools, gloves, nuts and bolts, bicycle parts, shopping bags and dollar bills.
Usually, the rule of thumb I apply to these non-trash items is the one from childhood: finders keepers, losers weepers. I don’t know who owned these items before we found them, and thus there’s no way I can return them to their rightful owner.
But the other day, I found a signed $100 check made out to cash. I love free money. This was free money. All’s good, right? Wrong. The person’s name and address were on the check. This person lives in my town, so this would be like stealing from my neighbor. The moral kicker comes from my Sunday school days. There, I learned that I should “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Rats. If I were to write a check made out to cash and then lose it, I’d want the person who found the check to return it to me.
In this case, I could. I put it in a stamped envelope, with a note explaining where I found the check and when. In my note, I told the person to never make a check out to cash.
On the way back from our walk, I thought about why I was willing to give up the $100. The answer came to me quickly: It’s because I have enough. I could always use more money, but for now I have enough.
On the other hand, if I were unemployed or behind on the medical bills for a sick child, I’d consider the money heaven sent and run to the bank to cash the check. Those scenarios, fortunately, don’t apply—and so I was able to do the right thing.
Sir David.
A nice thing to show your boy! How ’bout this?
Take a few dollars to the library and stick them in random books.
Maybe children’s books with messages of importance would be a good choice.
You got me thinkin’!
In the parking lot of Walgreens one day before the pandemic, I found a folder from a credit union across the street. In it was all the paperwork for some fellow’s new account including 10 blank starter checks, SS number, and all the other private identifying information needed to open the account. I took the folder to the bank immediately because it was almost closing time. I got in line and when it became my turn, I explained the situation to the teller. She looked at me like I had three heads, never thanked me, and just took the folder. This is when intrinsic motivation is key. I believe the feeling of doing the good deed in these situations will almost always exceed the utility of the money.
Finding money and either keeping it or returning the money to the owner can be complicated in real life. Here’s an example:
You find a billfold stuffed with cash and a receipt for a cashed life insurance policy outside a bank and there’s a picture of the owner who happens to be a little old lady with her address. Would you return it? Sure you would and feel good doing it and being the do-gooder you are.
But same scenario except the picture in the billfold shows a picture of a man dressed in fancy duds and standing next to a fancy pimpmobile with three lovely young girls. Would you return the money???
Ah yes……and so you thought you are an honest person.
I unfortunately feel deja vu with this post…
CS Lewis had it right:
“Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching”
I once found a wallet with $400 in cash, plus credit cards and driver’s license, in a grocery store parking lot.
It took me a while to track down the owner – the two phone numbers I found for her on the internet didn’t work. Eventually, I discovered her address was less than a mile from the grocery store, so I just drove over to her house and gave it to her.
When she answered the door, she had a phone in her hand – she was about to cancel her credit cards! Having lost a wallet myself, I know how much trouble that can be, what with all the automatic monthly charges.
My advice to everyone is to keep only money and one credit card in your wallet, and have your contact phone number somewhere. That will save a lot of trouble if you lose it.
And NEVER carry your social security card.
I’ve even stopped carrying my debit card. Throughout the year I withdraw $500, with plenty of $1s and $5s (for tipping!) then lock up most of it. (Home wall safes come in handy.)
I can always get cashback with my Discover at the grocery store or post office if I find myself short when I’m doing errands or eating out.
It’s easy to express moral outrage about the choices that others make — until we find ourselves in their shoes. Suppose you can either cash that $100 check — or your kids go without food or the medication they desperately need? Yes, the “legally right” choice is to tear up the check. But who here would opt to let their children suffer?