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Losers Weepers

David Gartland

MY SON AND I WALK the streets of our town, so my son can pick up trash and recyclables. He’s obsessive-compulsive about trash. He impulsively picks it up even if he isn’t wearing gloves or doesn’t have his grabber available. To reduce this behavior, he and I go out daily looking for trash, so he feels there’s less trash out there.

We do find trash, but we also find things that I wouldn’t classify as trash. These items may be tools, gloves, nuts and bolts, bicycle parts, shopping bags and dollar bills.

Usually, the rule of thumb I apply to these non-trash items is the one from childhood: finders keepers, losers weepers. I don’t know who owned these items before we found them, and thus there’s no way I can return them to their rightful owner.

But the other day, I found a signed $100 check made out to cash. I love free money. This was free money. All’s good, right? Wrong. The person’s name and address were on the check. This person lives in my town, so this would be like stealing from my neighbor. The moral kicker comes from my Sunday school days. There, I learned that I should “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Rats. If I were to write a check made out to cash and then lose it, I’d want the person who found the check to return it to me.

In this case, I could. I put it in a stamped envelope, with a note explaining where I found the check and when. In my note, I told the person to never make a check out to cash.

On the way back from our walk, I thought about why I was willing to give up the $100. The answer came to me quickly: It’s because I have enough. I could always use more money, but for now I have enough.

On the other hand, if I were unemployed or behind on the medical bills for a sick child, I’d consider the money heaven sent and run to the bank to cash the check. Those scenarios, fortunately, don’t apply—and so I was able to do the right thing.

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Donny Hrubes
11 months ago

Sir David.
A nice thing to show your boy! How ’bout this?
Take a few dollars to the library and stick them in random books.
Maybe children’s books with messages of importance would be a good choice.
You got me thinkin’!

Patrick Brennan
11 months ago

In the parking lot of Walgreens one day before the pandemic, I found a folder from a credit union across the street. In it was all the paperwork for some fellow’s new account including 10 blank starter checks, SS number, and all the other private identifying information needed to open the account. I took the folder to the bank immediately because it was almost closing time. I got in line and when it became my turn, I explained the situation to the teller. She looked at me like I had three heads, never thanked me, and just took the folder. This is when intrinsic motivation is key. I believe the feeling of doing the good deed in these situations will almost always exceed the utility of the money.

Philip Karp
11 months ago

Finding money and either keeping it or returning the money to the owner can be complicated in real life. Here’s an example:
You find a billfold stuffed with cash and a receipt for a cashed life insurance policy outside a bank and there’s a picture of the owner who happens to be a little old lady with her address. Would you return it? Sure you would and feel good doing it and being the do-gooder you are.
But same scenario except the picture in the billfold shows a picture of a man dressed in fancy duds and standing next to a fancy pimpmobile with three lovely young girls. Would you return the money???
Ah yes……and so you thought you are an honest person.

Stacey Miller
11 months ago

I unfortunately feel deja vu with this post…

CS Lewis had it right:

“Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching”

Ormode
11 months ago

I once found a wallet with $400 in cash, plus credit cards and driver’s license, in a grocery store parking lot.
It took me a while to track down the owner – the two phone numbers I found for her on the internet didn’t work. Eventually, I discovered her address was less than a mile from the grocery store, so I just drove over to her house and gave it to her.
When she answered the door, she had a phone in her hand – she was about to cancel her credit cards! Having lost a wallet myself, I know how much trouble that can be, what with all the automatic monthly charges.
My advice to everyone is to keep only money and one credit card in your wallet, and have your contact phone number somewhere. That will save a lot of trouble if you lose it.

Stacey Miller
11 months ago
Reply to  Ormode

And NEVER carry your social security card.

I’ve even stopped carrying my debit card. Throughout the year I withdraw $500, with plenty of $1s and $5s (for tipping!) then lock up most of it. (Home wall safes come in handy.)

I can always get cashback with my Discover at the grocery store or post office if I find myself short when I’m doing errands or eating out.

Last edited 11 months ago by Stacey Miller
Jonathan Clements
Admin
11 months ago

It’s easy to express moral outrage about the choices that others make — until we find ourselves in their shoes. Suppose you can either cash that $100 check — or your kids go without food or the medication they desperately need? Yes, the “legally right” choice is to tear up the check. But who here would opt to let their children suffer?

Dan Smith
11 months ago

I don’t know Jonathan, stealing bread didn’t work out well for Jean Valjean.

Jonathan Clements
Admin
11 months ago
Reply to  Dan Smith

For those who don’t get the reference:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Valjean

mytimetotravel
11 months ago

The person’s address was on the check. If it was a $100 bill I could see spending it rather than turning it into the police, but the ownership of this check was clear.

parkslope
11 months ago

Couldn’t your logic also be used to justify stealing food so that your child wouldn’t go hungry?

Nate Allen
11 months ago
Reply to  parkslope

I would steal food rather than let my kids starve…

(Luckily I’ve never had to make such a choice but I wouldn’t necessarily blame someone who did.)

Last edited 11 months ago by Nate Allen
Jonathan Clements
Admin
11 months ago
Reply to  parkslope

I’m not saying theft or illegally cashing checks is right. Far from it. But folks end up in horrible situations and have to make unpalatable choices — and, whatever they choose, I’m not inclined to rush to judgment or pound my chest and declare my moral superiority.

parkslope
11 months ago

I don’t think any of the comments in this thread come anywhere close to self righteous chest pounding.

Jonathan Clements
Admin
11 months ago
Reply to  parkslope

Who said I was referring to people in this thread?

Marjorie Kondrack
11 months ago

Jonathan…I agree that taking the high moral ground or being so self righteous is not always a charitable choice. I do believe we will be judged by how we judge others.But as one who has been in desperate situations, I can tell you that in my young years, during the depression years, when all doors were closed, my father sold his blood to give the family food on the table

.it is now a moot situation since David made the right choice. Cashing another persons check, without their permission, is against the law so why make matters worse by introducing another problem, further jeopardizing our families sense of well being.

Marjorie Kondrack
11 months ago

Added…the above being said, your heart is in the right place.

mytimetotravel
11 months ago

Really? You’d cash the check if you needed the money? Seems your moral compass has a wobble. The writer may need the money more than you, but that’s hardly the point.

BTW, my version of the Golden Rule is “do unto others as they would have you do” – pretty sure we know what the check writer would want.

Nate Allen
11 months ago
Reply to  mytimetotravel

The Golden Rule according to some people is (unfortunately) “he who has the gold makes the rules.”

Robert Wright
11 months ago

So your ethics are colored by the size of your bank account? That logic is similar to people who don’t pay back a personal loan because the lender “has more than enough money”.

Marjorie Kondrack
11 months ago
Reply to  Robert Wright

Can also have significant legal consequences.

Jeff
11 months ago

David, your moral compass points in the right direction.

Last edited 11 months ago by Jeff
Jeff
11 months ago
Reply to  Jeff

I find it interesting that my comment received negative responses. David – I stand my ground. I think you made the right decision to return the money. Especially after considering all sides to the issue.

parkslope
11 months ago
Reply to  Jeff

I think the negative votes were from those who viewed your comment as also agreeing with what David said in the final paragraph of his article rather than with his decision to return the check.

Last edited 11 months ago by parkslope

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