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FIDDLER ON THE ROOF is the timeless tale of a poor Jewish dairy farmer in Russia during the early 20th century. What makes the musical timeless? It tells the story of a worker, husband, father and religious believer who’s trying to succeed in all these facets of his life.
One of the show’s most famous songs is, “If I Were a Rich Man.” As the title implies, the farmer dreams of a life of wealth and how wonderful that would be. I suspect that most, if not all, HumbleDollar readers are either wealthy or would like to be. And, of course, we could all be richer still. That’s the beauty and the curse of money. There’s always the possibility of having more.
To set the record straight, I once again didn’t win the billion-dollar-plus Powerball jackpot. Every time the jackpot reaches the stratosphere, I buy a ticket and then drift off into dreamland, wondering what it would be like if I were a rich man.
I’ve had a taste of the Rich and Famous lifestyle. My wife used to work for an Irish international packaging company. One of the company’s assets was a condo at Trump Tower in New York City. My wife was friendly with the housekeeper, who would tell my wife when the condo wasn’t being used. One night, I got to sleep over there. Steven Spielberg lived in the condo above.
When the founder of the packaging company died, his sons took over the company’s management. One of the sons, who was the CEO, kept suits at the condo, so he wouldn’t need to pack a suitcase when he flew from Dublin to New York. Occasionally, he would get rid of suits that he no longer wanted. My wife brought one of these suits home and it was a perfect fit. It was a high-quality wool suit, and I wore it for years. For fun, when I looked in the mirror, I’d say, “I guess this is what a millionaire looks like.”
My wife would tell me about the sons and how they lived the millionaire lifestyle. A middle-class family might have a house, one or two cars, a job, two kids and a bank account. The millionaire lifestyle amplifies these elements—in a big way.
It isn’t just the full-time housekeeper. Multi-millionaires don’t own just one house; they own multiple homes. They don’t hope their kids get college scholarships; they pay cash for any college their kids want to go to. And on and on it goes.
This mental shift seems simple, but it must take a lot of work. Money can’t just trickle out of your pocket. It’s really got to flow, or you’ll have a log jam. You have to write six-figure checks, and be happy doing it.
For inexperienced wealthy people, like those who suddenly win the Powerball, there’s a risk they’ll blow it. They’ll likely be overwhelmed by their newfound wealth and they probably don’t know how to handle it. They need financial advisors, lawyers and accountants who can provide the guidance they so desperately need.
The wealthy do the same things that all of us do, they just do them bigger. They give to charities, like we all do, but they have wings on hospitals and buildings at their alma mater with their names attached. They find ways to spend big money and do it gracefully.
Whenever I buy my $2 ticket and indulge in wishful thinking, I try to figure out how I’d spend my winnings, but I can’t. I’m locked into the poor man’s thought process that’s been there my entire life.
Every time, I ask myself the same question: Would I be happier if I owned _____? Whatever expensive toy I imagine, I always talk myself out of buying it because I don’t need it. If I owned a yacht, I don’t see how I’d be happier. In fact, I had to look up how to spell yacht. I can spell boat, which is as far as my mindset allows me to go. But that’s my point: Big money is not in my wheelhouse.
If you’re a believer in the law of attraction, where visualizing something can somehow bring it into being, you’ll understand why I haven’t won the big one. I suffer from poor man’s thinking. I think too small and, indeed, I’m happy thinking small. To me, more stuff means more problems.
No doubt about it, being poor sucks and being rich is better. But if you win the Powerball, you’d better be prepared to handle the new lifestyle. If not, others will likely live that lifestyle at your expense. Don’t believe me? Just look up MC Hammer’s story.
David Gartland was born and raised on Long Island, New York, and has lived in central New Jersey since 1987. He earned a bachelor’s degree in math from the State University of New York at Cortland and holds various professional insurance designations. Dave’s property and casualty insurance career with different companies lasted 42 years. He’s been married 36 years, and has a son with special needs. Dave has identified three areas of interest that he focuses on to enjoy retirement: exploring, learning and accomplishing. Pursuing any one of these leads to contentment. Check out Dave’s earlier articles.
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Thanks David, Has anybody heard the phrase, “A boat is a hole in the ocean you dump money in.”?
Haven’t heard that one, but I have heard what I think is the classic, “the two happiest days of a boat ownership are the day they buy, and the day they sell the boat”.
In 1994, when I started writing my regular column for The Wall Street Journal, a PR person told me something similar: “The two best days in a columnist’s life are the day he starts — and the day he stops.”
Even in retirement, my husband and I spend less than our income. We did all our traveling in our 40s-50s, and now just enjoy living in the country. To me, money buys options, security, and the opportunity to help the kids/grandkids once in a while. (Oh, and that stuff we bought back when…it takes some work to get rid of when you downsize.)
At the office where I used to work, there’s a lottery pool of ~75 people where each person invests $2-$5 once it gets >$400M. Even though most have left that company, they still remain in the pool.
I buy lottery tickets only when the Jackpot reaches 1/2 billion or more. I can’t be bothered with less winnings (just kidding). I only buy one ticket since the odds of winning are 1 in 292.2 million, I feel buying more really doesn’t increase your odds significantly. I have always figured I would take half the winnings and start a foundation, and then spend the other half however I like. That way no matter how much I spend of my half, I’m guaranteed that some benefit to society would come from my good fortune. Most likely I won’t have to worry about this scenario!
My favorite sentence is “I’m happy thinking small.” Me too, David.
As a devotee of the arts, it was sad to learn of the passing last year, of Topol, the Israeli actor, who played Tevye, the milkman, in Fiddler on the Roof. His talent was highlighted by the many times he played Tevye and kept the role fresh and entertaining.
Having actually sung “If I Were a Rich Man” onstage — I do community theater – I can tell you I found it a far more rewarding experience than any of the Powerball tickets I have bought over the years, including the one that is sitting in my car right now.
But that’s OK, because I understand that when I spend that two dollars at the gas station, I’m not really buying a chance to win $500 million. I’m just buying the right to a pleasant daydream.
If you become wealthy by your own efforts and hard work, it’s quite likely that you won’t be able to bear actually spending all the money you’ve made. You will spend some of it, and live very nicely, but you’ll also continue to save and invest.
I believe I fit the category of “wealthy by my own efforts and hard work”. I built a small business catering to an overlooked customer that is too small for my competitors to care about. I care about them though and they reward me for it.
My spouse and I have been savers our whole lives life and we reached the magic number in 2019 at age 49 but didn’t retire. Our entertainment, vacation, and dining expenses last year were one half of one percent. It’s worthless to be wealthy if you can’t spend it. And that makes “wealthy” rather pointless except that we make substantial donations to several organizations each year.
So what, we’re wealthy. Yet, because of the wealth, we spend every day feeling like we’re not living our best life. “If I were a rich man, all day long I’d wish there was a more meaningful way to live.” It’s all so pointless.
I started out poor and was fortunate to find employment that made me what many describe as ‘wealthy”, which is of course relative. Not wealthy at all compared to big business owners and professional athletes. We don’t spend anywhere near what we should, but unlike you, we do not feel like we are not living our best lives. We do what we want, helped our kids buy homes, and donate to many charities. We don’t feel the need to travel all over the world eat at expensive places, or purchase fancy clothes and other things. We have what we need, and it is more than enough. So, stop feeling bad. Enjoy the comfort being financially independent gives you.
Don’t you feel it’s time to change things up then? Start with a trip to Italy, or the location of your choosing.
Find more hands-on charitable work to build more connections.
Get outside more and do your favorite athletic/physical movement.
What gets your juices flowing?
What did you enjoy doing when you were 20?
Thank you for the reply. Yes, it is time for a change. But that is the problem. The answer to the last two of your questions is (and I’m not trying to be snarkastic) is… nothing.
I think my wife and I have been so focused on work that we forgot how to enjoy life. Making those decades of hard work kind of worthless.
We are recently retired and finding our way to new paths. We can relate to the decades of hard work. My husband’s career was more rewarding on every level than mine. So he might miss his former life, but I surely don’t. A lot of giving to others occurs when you’re in the accounting/audit/tax field and I poured myself out, but often didn’t fill myself up from work. All that being said, the wealth we created along the way funded college educations, a paid-off house, dozens of memorable trips, and employed too many restaurant workers!
You mentioned you make sizeable contributions to your favorite charities–that must feel rewarding to know you’ve had a positive impact on many lives!
I close with this advice: travel (a weekend away for starters), read, check out something fun from your library, walk, increase your friend circle, update something in your home, go on more dates, have a picnic, call more friends, make a point to pay each other compliments, write love and thank you notes. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Enjoy your money and the time it can bring you. Fingers crossed the “joy-ometer” increases for all of us this year!
I think that this kind of discussion is fascinating. In most of America, there seems to be disconnect between how wealthy individuals feel and their actual wealth. What is the upper limit for net worth to stay in the Middle Class? I think that it is how people feel about their wealth that controls to some degree how much they spend and what they buy.
At what level of wealth would you feel rich? The latest US Census report on HH wealth from 2021 shows that at the 90th percentile the median HH wealth was $1,623,000. I’m guessing that at this level none of them feel rich, and few wealthy.
This disconnect may be why people buy lottery tickets even though they have a bigger chance of being hit by lightning that winning a big prize.
I think as we climb the economic ladder, feeling rich keeps moving as well.
“I think everyone should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer”. Jim Carrey
Well David, as often happens I do the opposite. I play our states pick 6 where the winning cash prize rarely exceeds $10 million. I never buy a Powerball or Megamillions when they are way up there. I simply don’t want all the stress that goes with winning hundreds of millions. I don’t see that as a net benefit.
On the other hand, I can tell you if I win the Pick 6 tonight take the lump sum, after taxes and sharing the proceeds equally with our four children, Connie and I end up with $1,155,000 and I have plans for that.
Thoughtful essay. Love the reference to Fiddler on the Roof. My take is that once we achieve a level of satisfaction with our standard of living, acquisition of more things (cars, boats, second or third residences, etc.) doesn’t make us happier. In fact, worrying about whether our stuff will be scratched, stolen, become obsolete can detract from our quality of life. As many commentators on HD have noted, happiness is associated with shared life experiences and sharing our talents and resources with others. Thanks for your insight.
I resemble your remark. I’m sort of like that country song “got everything I want and nothin’ that I don’t”. I can’t remember the last time I bought a lottery ticket.