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FORMER NEW YORK CITY Mayor Ed Koch used to frequently ask the city’s residents, “How am I doing?”
When I was younger, I’d ask myself that same question. I was always trying to keep up with others, whether it was socially, academically, athletically or financially. My big fear was that I wasn’t going to make it. I could never let down my guard, relax and take it easy. I was always having to compensate for whatever I was deficient in. It became my norm.
Then I retired, and everything changed. I felt like I’d crossed the finish line. I felt like I was done with making adjustments.
I took an inventory of my life—everything I’d done and everything I now had. I was surprised. All the things I worried about achieving, having or overcoming, I’d managed to accomplish.
A feeling of peace came over me—not a religious peace, but the satisfaction you get when you achieve or accomplish something important. I could relax and stop to smell the proverbial roses, something I’d never before let myself do.
I’d been too busy trying to keep up, trying to overcome deficiencies and obstacles, with the belief that—if I didn’t—I’d fail. And it would be my fault, because I wasn’t trying hard enough.
One of my hobbies, if you want to call it that, is learning about finance. I’ve always sought out articles or books to learn all that I can. What should I be doing, or not doing, to reach financial independence?
During my reading, I often saw references to people trying to determine how they were doing relative to others. Do they have more or less than their neighbors, classmates or co-workers? I found that silly.
The main question I have at this stage in my life is, “Do I have enough?” To me, “enough” means enough money to pay my immediate bills. I know that sounds rather small-minded. But that’s the beauty of my life at this stage. I don’t have to work, and yet I have enough to put food on the table and keep a roof over my head.
During my last job, people would regularly approach me in the coffee room and ask, “How are you doing?”
My reply: “I’m still breathing. Count your blessings. Blessing No. 1: I’m still breathing.”
The response would be an “amen” from the more religious types, or a smile or “you’re right” from others.
My blessing is, I can look back over my life, and feel I’ve made it and I now have enough. I’m still breathing. I’m not in a hospital bed. I have money in the bank. I have free time to do whatever I want.
To me, these are the most important things, the reward for a life where I focused so much time on finances. That focus means today I can pay my bills without doing any paid work.
Will I always have enough? I have no idea. If I stay out of nursing homes and don’t come down with any critical diseases, I probably will. But who knows? To me, the important thing is to take the time now to enjoy life—because we never know how much time we have.
Good perspective David. I can see where you are coming from.
I on the other hand, early in life decided not to look externally as a measure of my self. I strongly feel that we make our lives what they are in this country. Trying to determine where we ‘fit’ in society by observing others, is futile in my mind.
We are the best judge of us!
David,
I enjoy your articles but have noticed that you are one of the few article/forum thread writers who doesn’t respond to comments about your articles. Because Adam Grossman is working full-time, it is understandable that he doesn’t respond to comments about his weekly articles (which are posted on his management firm’s website two days before they appear on HD). However, since you are retired and have the time to make frequent contributions to HD I think commenters and readers would greatly appreciate it if you would take the time to reply to comments.
Thanks,
Mike
I agree 100%. IMO anyone who writes for HD has an obligation to respond to comments and participate in discussions.
I’m confused by the down arrows for these two comments (and I guess I’ll get some, too). They were both phrased respectfully, and raise a good point. Humble Dollar is not a newspaper where people write articles and move on to the next thing. The interactive forum aspect of it is what’s special.
I’ve published articles as an academic that have no opportunity for author-reader interaction, and I write a weekly column for a baseball fan website in which I interact regularly with others on the site, just as we do here. I’ve been involved with the baseball site for over a decade and have been writing weekly for it for over seven years. I’ve gotten to know a number of regulars personally and have even met some in person. It’s been enriching and is a way more fun way to use my interest in writing.
The down votes are indeed a little surprising. Obviously, I like it when writers reply to readers’ comments. The more active the site, the better. But I also appreciate the effort involved in writing articles. If contributors feel that responding to readers’ comments isn’t something they want to do, I’m not going to quibble and thereby deter them from continuing to contribute new pieces.
Good for you. Enjoy relaxing!
David, I expect a few down arrows for this, but here goes.
I understand what you are saying. I too have written a few times about Connie and I being very grateful for all we have and accomplished.
But I am not sure “enough” is limited to paying immediate bills. To me that is a bit risky and as you said leaving one wondering if it will always be enough. Younger people describe that disparagingly as living paycheck to paycheck.
I’m not suggesting one needs a lavish lifestyle or the ability to spend excessively on discretionary items, but I think financial security and the ability to deal with years of unknowns requires more that what may be needed to pay the bills upon retirement.
I agree, that is my view too. But in David’s defense, shouldn’t everyone be able to define “enough” for themselves.?
You’re right!
Amen!
Bless your heart…I’m one of the religious types.