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MY FAMILY ATTENDED the wedding of our neighbor’s daughter. I was seated next to a friend of my neighbor. My wife believes the seating chart was based on the fact that the family has special needs children. This has happened frequently over the years. It’s as if those of us with special needs children speak a different language.
During the course of the evening, the husband asked me if I had a pen. I knew I did, since I always carry a pen or mechanical pencil, along with a piece of paper, in my pocket.
I do this because I know how I think. If an idea pops into my brain, I need to capture it on paper immediately. If I don’t, it most likely will be lost forever because something else will fill that space, such as a visual distraction or a conversation I overhear. It happens all the time.
I proceeded to hand over the pen to the husband. He, in turn, handed it to his wife. That’s where progress died. The pen sat on the table and didn’t move.
Now, the pen cost me $0.00, since it was given to me by a business that was handing them out for advertising purposes, so my anxiety at seeing the pen sit there wasn’t due to the size of my investment. Rather, it was because my habitual behavior was being interrupted. What would happen if a magical idea popped into my head, while this instrument for capturing thoughts was out of reach?
I debated the issue with myself. The pen wasn’t valuable. Shouldn’t I be generous with what I have to help out a fellow human being? Of course, I should. I knew I could get another pen when I got home, since I have many of these freebies. I thought about how I was foolishly agonizing over a stupid pen—a pen that cost me nothing. And yet that pen is so important to my way of life.
I sat there thinking about this high-stakes game of “should I be obnoxious and ask for my pen back” or “should I be a nice guy and let the couple have the pen for as long as they like?” The straw that broke the camel’s back: I saw his wife use my pen to tap on a glass as guests encouraged the bride and groom to kiss. That did it.
I asked the husband, “Are you going to use the pen?” He saw the pen sitting there and said, “I guess my wife didn’t need it.” He handed it back to me. This valuable asset was now back in my life and in my control. It was available once again to capture the next brilliant idea that came to me.
I recently read an article about downsizing, and how to decide what goes and what stays. The illustration used was an expensive Rolex watch that had sat in its box for 20 years and a cheap Casio watch that’s worn every day. The Rolex is worth more because it costs more, but it’s classified as clutter since it just sits in the drawer and isn’t used. It would be better to sell or give away the Rolex, thus freeing up storage space. The Casio, on the other hand, is valuable since it helps you get to work on time, and thereby helps you make money.
That’s the way with many things in my life. It’s not how much I spent on an item, but how much use I get out of it.
In an earlier article, I mentioned that I’ve spent significant money over the years collecting Craftsman hand tools, since I do a lot of maintenance and repairs on my car and around the house. Craftsman tools aren’t overly expensive, but they aren’t the cheapest, either. On one occasion, I was in an auto parts store. There were some no-name tools sitting on a table for $1 each. I saw a long-slotted screwdriver and bought it on a whim, even though it wasn’t a Craftsman with its “lifetime guarantee.” That screwdriver has gotten me out of more jams than I can count. I laugh every time I select it over my Craftsman screwdrivers. I’m glad I didn’t let the quality and cost of the tool stop me from buying it.
Cost and value are often considered one and the same. But I bet that, if you think of the most important and memorable trips you’ve taken or things you own, they weren’t always the most expensive. They were just very valuable to you.
David Gartland was born and raised on Long Island, New York, and has lived in central New Jersey since 1987. He earned a bachelor’s degree in math from the State University of New York at Cortland and holds various professional insurance designations. Dave’s property and casualty insurance career with different companies lasted 42 years. He’s been married 36 years, and has a son with special needs. Dave has identified three areas of interest that he focuses on to enjoy retirement: exploring, learning and accomplishing. Pursuing any one of these leads to contentment. Check out Dave’s earlier articles.
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I sorted over 3 decades of pictures and have sent some off to old acquaintances and have many of my family to share. A couple old work buddies contacted me to talk about the good ol times which is so nice!
The most value laden is the ones I sent to my oldest brother yesterday.
He and his wife lost their first born son just this week, and the pictures were of his young family. At the time, the cost for the photos was minimal, however, consider the value of them at this point.
When I began this section:
…I thought “downsizing” was referring to downsizing of people (employees) at a company and thought the Rolex was going to refer to a high-paid executive while the cheap Casio was going to refer to regular workers. It took me until the end of the next paragraph to realize you meant downsizing things, not people. (silly me!)
I use the Notes function on my various Apple devices to remind me of things, and I swear by it now because writing things down with a pen and paper was a sure way for me to lose the paper or Post-It note and never find it again.
That said, I collect pens, too. I have a pouch in my purse that has a collection of pens, nearly all from hotels (occasionally ones from a nice restaurant or bar). I only take the pen if (a) I enjoyed the hotel and (b) it’s a good pen (not a flimsy one). When I pull them out for whatever purpose, the pen reminds me of a nice stay or vacation.
My family teases me about “stealing” pens, but I say that they’re advertising the product and the business wants me to have it. That said, I did filch a pen over the holidays when we had sunset cocktails at a very nice place. I won’t horrify HD readers by saying how much six cocktails (there were six of us, we weren’t drinking to excess!) plus tip cost there, but when I signed the check, I decided I needed a souvenir of the experience given its price tag. And it was a nice pen! And I also get twitchy about my souvenir pens if someone borrows one, so I relate to that, too.
Your pen is my Apple Reminder. When I think of something, I just say “Siri, remind me ….” On that note, I need to check my reminders:)
“I always carry a pen or mechanical pencil, along with a piece of paper, in my pocket.”
Ah, fond memories of a Pocketmod clipped to a G2 Mini! They went everywhere with me. (If a garment didn’t have pockets, I didn’t buy it.) When I finally got a smartphone, I switched to Simplenote — but I still have the Pocketmod full of notes from my Try-It visit to my CCRC six years ago, and a few G2 Minis in a drawer. Thanks for the look-back!
My dad had nailed together 3 pieces of scrap wood to use as a shoe rack in his closet. He also liberated a couple towels from a Hilton Hotel, probably in the late 50’s or early 60’s. That scrap wood is in my closet now and I still use those towels to dry my car. I hope no security peeps from the Hilton are reading this blog!
I think non- monetary value always comes out on top. I have boxes, and drawers full of little things – including a couple of pens – that someday will be in the trash, but not by me.
Most of the things are related to my father, things that back in the day meant something to him, like a Packard car ring he won for sales or an old Studebaker key fob – he was a car salesman who worked twelve hour days six or seven days a week.
My wife told me when she was a little girl her father went on a cleaning spree and threw out all her belongings, including her toys and favorite doll. That affected her for life. She struggles to part with anything. Even things of mine, like long used sweaters, can’t be simply be disposed of, they must be donated.
You’re right, true value has nothing to do with money.
Decades ago, my husband and I bought our first home “as is,” full of the furnishings of the never-married man who had lived with his parents there until he died, with no heirs, in his 80’s. We felt Charlie’s (mostly) benign presence. I have an outside thermometer from his lifelong employer hanging on my back porch as well as a few other cherished items from a man we never met, but whose carefully maintained home sheltered our young family.
A recent library read called The Second Chance Store tells of various items’ history, woven between the past and present people who own them. It’s a quick, enjoyable read. Your comment reminded me of it.
I agree with you, David. Some of our most “valuable” items are also the ones that evoke precious memories, regardless of their original cost. As I put away holiday decorations, I’m looking forward to unpacking some next year, while looking at others and asking myself “Would any of my adult children miss this if I got rid of it?”, or the famous Marie Kondo question, “Does it bring me joy?”