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Went out to dinner the other night with another couple. Connie an I ordered and then the others. “We’re going to split a meal,” the wife said.
Okay, won’t be dining with them again. I think that is rude and unfair to the sever and the restaurant. Just about as rude as the people who finish their meal, pay their check and then sit and talk at the table while a score of folks stand about waiting for their turn.
If you can’t pay for two meals, don’t go out to eat. If you can’t eat a full meal do as we do on occasion. Ask for a take-away box before you start the meal or certainly after your have eaten your fill.
The server and the restaurant are counting on providing a meal to each person seated. Splitting a meal robs them of income.
The last time we ate out I ordered meatballs and pasta. There were two very large meatballs and lots of pasta. There was no way I could eat it all so half went to waste. I couldn’t take it home as we were staying in a hotel.
When I mentioned the size to the server she said, “yeah, they are really big, but you could have asked for a smaller portion.” Could I now? That information would have been nice before I ordered or maybe noted on the menu. That’s not fair either.
As I wrote perviously on these pages, we waste a lot of food.
To waste food is catastrophic for the environment. All the pesticides, water, oil, resources and more put toxic waste into our air and water. And for what? Absolutely nothing!
Sorry Mr Quinn, you got it all wrong from my point of view. I have been in Sales for 55 years, I retired on 12-31-2024. If you treat people right, no matter what they order or split, they will make more money, and so will the restaurant. My average tips these days since the Pandemic, 30% or more.
Amen.
I agree about not splitting the main entree. Restaurants frequently encourage guests to split appetizers and desserts, which are usually among their most profitable items. I personally rarely order either.
Wow sounds awfully judgemental. In a country where portion sizes may be huge you’ve created a new rule that everyone individually has to spend a minimum or it’s disrespectful to the restaurant. What next – no skipping starters?
Surely if it was an issue for the restaurant they would impose a minimum and/or have rules about sharing food? Realistically would a 3 top be seated somewhere different to a 4 top.
I worked as a waiter when a student and it really wasn’t a big deal to me ensuring a table all bought their share. There were swings and roundabouts in per table tips. You’d go nuts worrying about it.
Should I get started on the “please give us all separate checks” business? A group of 15-20 has an annual meal and will only go to a place that will accommodate the separate checks demand. Confusion occurs when some order the same entrée but different drinks. Complaints when the guest of honor over orders and the guest’s check is split 15-20 ways. I’ve decided to skip it next year – it’s embarrassing to me. One restaurant I know has established a rule of no more than four separate checks so if the party is bigger than four, people have to team up and figure it out among themselves. An idea I respect.
Who is being more unfair in this scenario: Couple 1: Each orders two alcohol drinks, they split an appetizer, and they split a meal. Tip 25%.
Or Couple 2: No alcohol or apps. Each orders a meal. Tip 20%.
Things are not so clear-cut now, in terms of whether either couple is being ‘rude or unfair’ to the establishment and the server. Yet one couple has not met your litmus test of ordering one meal each.
If your point boils down to revenue generated for the restaurant and the server, then I agree with mytimetravel: Context does matter.
These what ifs are getting silly, but 25% of what amount versus 20% of what amount does matter does it not?
I guess my point, boiled down, is that there is more than one way for restaurants to generate revenue other than the entree. The sinners who split an entree can be redeemed through drinks, apps, desserts,
tipping, etc.
In addition, if the restaurant really objects, it could refuse.
Did each couple pay for their own meals? If they paid for you and Connie, would your opinion be different.
I can see both sides of the argument, but wouldn’t be offended as I mentioned earlier about some friends doing the same.
Sort of reminds me of a segment in Curb Your Enthusiasm, or Jerry Seinfeld show.
Each couple paid their own.
Thinking this over, I feel the rant lacks context. What kind of restaurant? Fine dining, fast casual, something in between? A busy Friday or Saturday night, or a slower (and, one hopes, quieter) Tuesday or Wednesday? What kind of food? If it’s offering steak, is the smallest item ten ounces?
Maybe next time you eat with this couple you should find a tapas restaurant. Or Chinese, and share entrees between the four of you (that’s what the round tables with lazy susans are for). But complaining because people don’t want to either stuff themselves or waste food is a bit much.
Maybe if more couples split mains restaurants would get the message and serve smaller portions. When I first moved to the US 50 years ago I couldn’t believe the portion sizes (never mind how much my work mates put away at buffets), but they’ve gotten even bigger since.
Can’t see how context matters. It’s the principle for me.
Apparently this couple won’t have to worry about dining with RQ again: “Okay, won’t be dining with them again.”
Truth is, we probably will with this couple, they are relatives.
Yes, I saw that, but I figured there were options.
Probably not if they read this post…
The portions, the work mates, or both have gotten even bigger since?
Lol. Probably both, but it’s been years since I saw the work mates.
Many restaurants will split a meal for an additional plate fee. I suppose if a person feels strongly about the possibility of ‘cheating’ the server, that person can offer upfront the willingness to pay an additional fee if the restaurant menu makes no mention of it.
We CAN pay for two meals.
Yet, sometimes, we split things. It depends on how hungry we are.
Usually, we order two meals … eat half … bring the other half home for later consumption. Gotta leave room for dessert.
Also, our minimum tip these days is 20%. More for exceptional service.
Or, especially, when the servers’ food recommendation is great. (I always ask the server what they would order.)
You raise an interesting point, asking the server what they would order. I never could understand doing that. I once asked a server how spicy a dish was. Oh, it’s pretty mild. Maybe in New Orleans, but being from Jersey I was sweating like I just finished a marathon and my insides burned for hours. Opinions on food are highly personal.
My experience is different from yours. I routinely ask for server opinions on this or that … for example,”I can’t decide between the reuben sandwich and the crab sandwich.” I would say that about 80% of the time I go with the server suggestion and am satisfied. Not always.
Opinions on food are highly personal just like opinions about how best to save for retirement are highly personal…
Quite true
I’ve been mulling this one over for the past day. I had thoughts similar to Jonathan’s. We try to be very mindful of a restaurant’s challenges, and a server’s needs and tip generously. We occasionally go out to eat with grandchildren, and try to choose appropriate venues, and make sure we are respectful of other patrons. But young children present special challenges and may require more service than adults. Should they be excluded? I also wonder what are the requirements when sitting at a bar? Can you nurse a drink, or do you need to keep the barkeep busy? I think as long as you are kind, respectful, and generous, everything else matters less.
I know your heart is in the right place on this one, Dick, but I wonder where folks should draw the line. Are you cheating the restaurant and server if you don’t order dessert, or an appetizer, or a bottle of wine? If I split a main course with Elaine but we also order a few cocktails, do we pass the Quinn restaurant test? Restaurants get all sorts of customers — some that order relatively little, some that eat the menu — and I suspect it all balances out, and most well-run restaurants will fare just fine.
It’s the total bill that matters to the server and the restaurant, but in the case of the restaurant also what you order as some items have higher profit margins. When I looked it up, one of the most profitable items was pumpkin pie. Of course soda is number one.
I doubt the couple – usually older – splitting an entree are the type to then splurge on other things. In fact, I often see them split a dessert as well.
In any case, I seem to be in the minority on this. I just think there are better ways to eat less.
I couldn’t agree more Richard. The servers only get so many tables per shift and rely on the tips. If you’re not hungry or can’t afford it stay home and nibble.
I have no problem splitting a plate. What if I am eating alone? Does the server feel jipped? Should I order two meals as the server expects to get a tip from two meals per table? I do agree however with stragglers being annoying IF they can see people are waiting for tables. In Europe however it is different. Your table is generally for the evening.
What bothers me now is when I see an added kitchen charge when we get the bill either with or without prior notification. Add the cost into the plate and show me the real cost. I hate hidden fees.
When we cook at home, we normally cook enough to cover us for several dinners. We don’t mind leftovers, whether they are our own or in a takeout box. My wife and I do breakfast and lunch on our own, so we make exactly what we want or need for those meals.
In our traveling experience, most hotel rooms have a small refrigerator and microwave, so we have the option eat leftovers in our room.
There’s no question that a lot of food is wasted in the US, but I don’t think it’s the food my wife and I buy in restaurants or prepare for ourselves at home.
In a country where 30% of adults are overweight and 42% are obese, I don’t think you should criticize anyone who chooses to split a meal…
If you are looking to get responses to your posts, you’re doing a great job of insulting people who find the large portions to be too large for one person. Many people, including me, don’t care for eating food reheated 1-3 days later. It isn’t a money decision and if the restaurant’s help are being mistreated, the owner should prohibit splitting meals.
RQ I disagree as well. My wife and I always share a meal and most restaurants are very accommodating, often splitting it in the kitchen and bringing us our own plated dish. I had weight loss surgery 7 years ago for critical health reasons and the size of my stomach is very small. I simply cannot eat a “normal” size portion let alone a restaurant size portion of food. My wife is also a light eater and even when sharing meals at restaurants we don’t usually finish ONE entree. We have never been admonished or looked down upon by waiters or managers in restaurants. Also, our friends we go out with all know we split entrees and we never question splitting the check in half. Doing as you suggest, we wouldn’t patronize restaurants and they would lose our business and that of many of our friends we dine out with.
I agree with everything you say! If my wife and I didn’t split now and then, when not enjoying tapas, we’d be enormous. We eat out quite often. It’s easy to determine when a restaurant is fine with one’s desire to split. We know most of our servers by name, and we make sure they’re well compensated. I’d hate to think we’d be cancelled by dining companions for not ordering what we cannot eat!
I guess I see what you’re saying if the restaurant is packed with long waits for a table. But if there’s plenty of room and/or if it’s not prime time, I’m guessing the restaurant/server would rather have you there, eating less, than an empty table.
I find I can tolerate a big meal less and less as I get older. I will often order an appetizer and a salad or side veggies as my meal and skip the main. I don’t think I’m being rude. It’s my choice what I want to order, eat, and pay for. Like you, though, we’re generous tippers, and I’m completely with you on hogging a table. I think because one of our daughters spent years as a server, I’m more attuned to the ins and outs of the business.
We went to a restaurant once that refused to serve us just a couple of appetizers each and a glass of Prosecco. It was a hot summer day meal, we wanted a lighter meal and wanted to try several different tastes. We do this often as we like to try multiple small dishes rather than one plate of a single dish.
Wow – don’t know how else to respond
American portions are generally too big, often way too big. If I had a significant other we might well each order an appetizer and split a main. Dining with a friend we often each doggy bag half a main and split dessert. But the food is never as good warmed up. There is far too much food waste – it’s estimated at 30-40% of the food supply in the US. Food waste adds to greenhouse gases.
Of course, there are countries where the table is yours for the evening: service is slower and you are expected to sit and talk after you finish eating. And servers don’t depend on tips….
We don’t split meals. Rather, we each order what we want and very likely take some portion home with us for lunch the next day.
Why not? We do the same. Quite often we ask for the take out container when we get the meal and put what we are taking home in the container before we start eating to avoid adding bacteria to the mix.
Oh those poor restaurants that charge an arm and a leg but still can’t pay their staff a living wage without service charges and tips. The American restaurant business model is broken. Maybe restaurants can look at Japan and Europe for some ideas.
Posted in wrong location 😳
So, tell us, what is the profit margin of the average restaurant.
It’s 3-5%. Apparently, an arm and leg don’t generate much net profit.
I’m not an expert on the economics of running a restaurant but if it works in other industrialized countries (not relying on tips for a server to make a living) it could work here. This is coming from someone who worked as a waiter at a Greek restaurant while attending college.
I suppose it could, but right now it doesn’t so we deal with what we have.
I think drinks are more profitable than food in many restaurants. If someone doesn’t want a drink, does that preclude eating out?
Sorry RQ, I have to disagree with you this time. We often split a meal. Most restaurants charge extra to split a plate, which is fine by us. We also take into consideration that the tab is smaller, and increase the tip to compensate, often 30 to 40%. If restaurants noted on the menu that smaller portions were available people wouldn’t need to split plates as often. I do agree that it’s both rude and inconsiderate to sit for a prolonged time at the table chatting, especially if there are people waiting to be seated.
We have acquaintances that also split a meal at a restaurant. If we go to their home for dinner, she (the host) will fix our plates with small portions and then will say she wants to save some for her son and his family.
That is some bad hosting Olin. I’d be embarrassed to not offer enough food for seconds.