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We have now emerged from the hellish phase of moving and are settling into our new home. Our condo sale closed on Tuesday, all the money went where it was supposed to go, and our first new mortgage payment is due on Monday.
I have found it quite amazing/shocking how many expenses there have been over the last few weeks for both ends of the transaction. I’m not talking about the obvious (buying the house and paying sales commissions). It’s the other stuff. For example (numbers are approximate):
With the exception of the last bullet, all of the above was necessary, the cost of doing business. I have some regrets about paying the movers to pack us because they didn’t do a very good job. If I wanted large, heavy boxes filled with randomly selected items thrown in there and either vaguely or wrongly labeled, I could have done that myself. I didn’t find my smart toaster until the second-to-last kitchen box and was getting downright cranky about it.
I’ll admit that a few days after the move, as we were buried in boxes and paper, didn’t know where anything was or how things worked, I had some panicked moments of feeling like we’d made an awful mistake and thinking “we still own the condo; let’s pull out of our sales contract, move back, and put the house back on the market”—but then I told myself to stop being such a baby. But we unpacked the last boxes on Memorial Day and had our artwork hung on Tuesday, and now the place is feeling (more) like home.
It’s the cost of doing business, but we’ll be OK.
Congratulations on the move, Dr. Lefty. It is certainly a huge event and takes a lot of effort. Glad to hear you are settling in.
Of course moving is expensive, you must have known that. Yes, been there done that in 2016 and since moved into an Independent Living CCRC in 2022. Most people move here in their 70’s to 80’s, but some later. Average age here is 83, 2/3 women and 50 couples out of 234 apartments. Once you are moved in all the hassle is gone. And our CCRC has assisted living, memory care, and nursing when needed. After you enjoy your home, and then it becomes a burden, be ready to make one more move. My mantra during those times is ODAAT, one day at a time, because you can’t do it all in a week.
Congrats on getting moved. Being prior military, I absolutely can’t stand moving, but we have one more move left hopefully when I retire in a couple of years. From that next home they will have to carry me out in a body bag…
Has anyone decided to age in place after looking at the expense and hassle and stress of downsizing? Every time my wife and I start considering downsizing we end up concluding that we would be better off staying put in a too big house until we need to move to assisted living. thanks
Bear in mind that not only will downsizing become more stressful as you age, it may well be that one of you will have to handle it alone. Also, I believe it is better to move initially to Independent Living rather than starting in Assisted Living. You will get to know fellow residents and the staff, be familiar with the place, and have access to many activities. My CCRC takes people at 62, but a second person can be as young as 55. Given we also have residents in their 90s, we have a wide age range.
When we moved to our condo (our previous home) in 2019, it was from a 4 BR house where we’d raised our kids. We did substantial downsizing at that point, and it was hard work. We were in our late 50s at the time. We said more than once that we were glad we hadn’t waited until we were a lot older to do it. This move was hard work, too, even though we hired movers. I told the movers that they won’t be seeing us again until/unless they’re moving us to assisted living.
Have you considered that the longer you wait, and the more you get to where you “need” to move to assisted living, it’ll likely be even harder?
Yes that’s my biggest concern. I’m only 67 but have stage 4 prostate cancer. My wife has some med issues too. But it seems we are too young for assisted living.
When I replied about assisted living below, I was thinking of the technical (insurance) definition where you can’t do several daily tasks— dressing, feeding, toileting, etc. If you have a looser definition related to household work, cooking etc, there are more options. Some retirement communities don’t require the big upfront payments associated with a CCRC. But I’d spend time getting to know who you’ll be living with. You and your wife may still be pretty active; it could be difficult living with people who are much older and incapacitated.
As for the downsizing— I did my parents’ house where they’d lived for 60 years, I quickly determined what things I wanted from the house and arranged for them them to be moved. I hired a realtor who handled the sale of the house, an estate sale person disposed of the unwanted contents, and a cleaner prepped the house for the new owners. I say this because it is possible to downsize or relocate without a ton of effort. On the other hand, 3 years ago, my husband and I packed up the contents of our house so it could be rewired. We didn’t move and all our things were packed into two rooms oh our house. But the work was horrific!!!! So there really are options — the downsize or total removal can be pretty easy or truly awful ; it depends on the decisions you make.
I’m sorry to hear about your illness.
I’m surprised a community is saying you’re too young for assisted living. Most CCRCs we’ve looked at say at least one person has to be 62 or older to come into the community (which granted is usually in independent first), but beyond that being in assisted living or skilled nursing is a function of the care needed, not of age.
From the photos I’ve seen of people living in assisted living, I think you’d likely be much younger than everyone else, That could a hard. But I don’t see waiting as resulting in a more difficult move. You really can’t take a lot of stuff to an assisted living place and there are operations that will run estate sales for your goods. A realtor could handle the sale of your house.
“But I don’t see waiting as resulting in a more difficult move.”
That may sound rational at first but seems to me a dangerous way of thinking about this. True, you can’t take a lot of stuff, there are outfits that will do estate sales, and a realtor can handle the sale of a house. But, even if one can near completely outsource those things (and having had parents do it three times I’ll say may not be as feasible as it sounds), one still has to handle the outsourcing. And even with great professionals (not a certainty) there’s still work and stress involved in that outsourcing (as Dr Lefty can attest).
Add on top the unknown of what one’s physical, medical or cognitive condition may be after waiting a few years. Maybe the waiting itself doesn’t make it harder, but it sure increases the likelihood of it being harder.
Just wondering why you made the move back to a house from a condo. A lot people are doing or thinking of doing the opposite.
I wrote about it here: https://humbledollar.com/forum/buying-and-selling-our-condo-our-big-little-move-part-2/ (and there’s a link to Part 1 in that piece).
The TL:DR version is that we wanted more space, ideally with an ADU, for a family member who needed a place to land, I wanted a yard so I can get a dog, and we had some growing concerns about our condo.
But you’re quite right: It’s the opposite trajectory of what a lot of people do at our age. Our decision to make this move surprised some people in our “real” life.
Congratulations on your new chapter & home.
Please consider posting your moving boxes and packing material on your local Buy Nothing Group to give it another shot at use before it inevitably hits the landfill.
As it happens, we have younger friends who are buying their first home and moving in the next few weeks, and they’ll take a bunch of it. We’ll keep some boxes and paper for when we box up our kitchen later this summer for renovation.
This is timely for me! We closed on our new house, halfway across the country on 4/18. We finally had our household goods delivered last Friday May 29, after a 10 day delay. That was costly. Right now I’m surfing HD while on the phone with AT&T who has been unable to set up Internet since 4/19. I work from home, so thankfully the hotspot on my phone has been effective. Just a few random drops. Unlike your efficient process, we continue to have partially unpacked boxes strewn across the home, and are dealing with associated stress.
Life is good!
Good luck getting it all sorted out! We also had some Internet issues. We had Internet installed the day before we moved in but quickly found that my husband’s work calls were dropping or freezing. It’s an older house, and the home office is around the corner and down the hall from where the router is in the living room. I did my research, off we went to Best Buy, and we bought a mesh Internet extender and were able to plug it into his work laptop with an Ethernet cable. Now things are working well. We also found that our AT&T phone service wasn’t working well in the house. We’ve switched to Wifi calling, and so far, so good, but we may end up changing carriers after all these years.
We only moved one mile from where we were before, so I really can’t complain too much, especially compared to you. Hang in there!
Congratulations! It does sound like a tough move but soon it will just be a wine and cheese story.
Yep. We aimed for June 1 as the day we’d turn the page on the move and go back to living life after three hectic months of buying, selling, and moving. We inaugurated our new grill with a couple of burgers last night and are having a friend over for dinner tonight. Working on enjoying the house rather than just dealing with it!
Congratulations on the move. It appears you keep good records so make sure you have a good list of improvements and expenses of your sale and expenses related to your purchase. This may come in handy if you need it for your 2026 and future tax returns to calculate a potential taxable gain.
As it happens, I just scanned closing documents and made a file for next year’s taxes. My future self will thank me! 👍
Mazel tov on your new home, Doc.
I’ve changed domiciles about 15 times in my adult life, the last three being major household moves with my wife. I abhorred the idea of doing the packing ourselves, but she insisted on saving the extra money and suggested I hire her to do it. So I did. (She gave me a discount.)
The first time she labeled all the boxes in Chinese so I had no idea where to find anything. She wised up on move #2.
The arrangement worked perfectly because while I despise packing, I’m an unpacking whirlwind. I can’t get to sleep until everything’s out and the empty boxes are stacked in the garage. Good system.
I enjoyed your account, although I do wish to point out that a truly “smart” toaster would have called out to you so you could find it.
On the toaster: Right?! It reminds me of a joke I heard years ago: “I’ll believe they’re ‘smart’ phones when I can yell ‘where the hell’s my phone” and it says, ‘I’m here under your jacket!’”
“I do wish to point out that a truly “smart” toaster would have called out to you so you could find it.” That made me snort into my coffee 😂
Congratulations, I hope your new home is everything you imagine. I now don’t feel so bad about the expense of my “senior movers” – they not only packed everything, but unpacked it and put it away as well. Since I moved first to an apartment and then to a CCRC I didn’t have the additional expenses you detail, But I did spend time getting rid of things. Moving is best undertaken while still in good health!
Absolutely. My watch has been recording lots of steps and calories burned. It’s been hard work! That’s intriguing about movers who unpack you. Did you supervise? Did you have trouble finding things?
We discussed beforehand where things would go. I did reorganize the kitchen a bit, and the first time the books were out of order because they didn’t realize the shelves in three of the bookcases had to go back at the right heights. The second time they photographed the bookcases ahead of time.
Helped that I don’t have a whole lot of stuff, but even if I had had to reorganize more, it would have been worth it. Sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee the afternoon of the move, with everything that should have been put away, put away, and no boxes anywhere, was priceless.
large, heavy boxes filled with randomly selected items thrown in there and either vaguely or wrongly labeled
Long ago, early in my now-ended marriage we moved four times in 16 months. I did most of the packing. What worked for me was to label the boxes not with contents but with numbers, and then just keep an easily editable and searchable numbered list on the computer — and wait to seal the boxes at the last minute.
Dana, glad to hear your move is behind you!
That’s a smart system. We’ll be packing up the kitchen in a couple of months for our remodel, and I can assure you that I’ll be in charge of the packing. I’m still irritated about what a slipshod job those guys did. We’d used the same transit company seven years ago when we moved to the condo and thought they were great, but they’ve gone downhill, or maybe we just pulled the short straw with who was assigned to us.
Dana, congratulations on the move. I wish you many happy years in your new home. We moved in 2021 and, then moved again in 2023 to our current home. It’s never fun but both moves went OK.
I noticed your mention of extension cords and three prong adapters. I think you previously wrote that the new home was built in the 60s, and I was wondering if the outlets are ungrounded? If so is this something that can be addressed during renovations?
Thanks, Rick. Yes, our contractor already brought his electrician over to consult, and he confirms we’ll need a whole new electrical panel. We’ll get all this squared away.
We moved twice in 57 years and the vague thought of moving sends chills up my spine.
I totally get why psychologists say that moving is one of the most stressful things that can happen to someone. It’s not just the labor, though that is considerable even if you’re paying someone else to lift things and fix things. It’s the disruption, the not knowing where things are, the feeling like you’re in the wrong place. I’m pretty change-averse by nature. But I’ll get over it. I already am starting to.
At one stage I lived in 10 houses in 8 years, and my wife was about 13 houses in 11 years. It was a fantastic phase of our lives, but we were exhausted by the end.
I shudder to think what my wife’s response would be if I suggested another move now!
Glad you’re in your new place, and I hope it all goes well for you.
We moved nine times during our first nine years of marriage, from our first apartment after the honeymoon until we bought our first little starter home. Since then, not so much. So I’m no longer adjusted to the idea of moving a lot. And we’re much older and have more stuff!
We moved 5 years ago and there is only one expense I would add to your list: Dumpster rental. Best money spent by a longshot!
Because we were living in a condo, we had access to the trash room with multiple dumpsters, but we actually didn’t get rid of much stuff for this move. We’d downsized stuff considerably when we moved to our 3 BR condo, so moving to 4 BR house with a garage and an ADU didn’t present much of a challenge logistically. Now, we’re working on getting rid of many trash bags full of packing paper that are in the garage so we can put at least one car in there!
Dana, we have been there and done that just two years ago, with very similar “cost of doing business” expenses. In a way, these expenses are a good problem, and now that they are behind you, I hope you are as happy in your new place as we are in ours.
Thanks, Dan! I was somehow caught by surprise by how many checks I had to write and how many times I moved money before and during the move. Also how many vendors don’t do Venmo. I think I wrote more checks in the past two months than I have in the last five years.
Brave woman! I don’t think I would have had the fortitude to keep track of all those nuisance costs. I believe sometimes avoidance is good.
I was definitely in denial myself. Now that the condo sale has closed and we have some money again, it’s all easier to face.
Timely post! Suzie and I have spent the day in the garden — I have the thorn scratches to prove it. Between bouts of weeding and tree pruning, we found ourselves wondering whether converting three-quarters of our half-acre plot into a virtually maintenance-free space might actually be cheaper than moving house — which, as we get older, is something we’re increasingly having to consider. The garden is a joy, but the sheer scale of it is becoming harder to keep on top of. You’ve given us a data point to consider.
The more I think about it, the more I reckon there’s a decent post in there somewhere!
It almost certainly would be cheaper. I guess the biggest question is whether the house itself works for you and will continue to do so. In any case, 3/4 of an acre is a lot, and you’re wise to look ahead.
If you really enjoy the garden, maybe you should consider landscaping help. I realize you’re facing big wedding costs in the coming months, but if you let the garden go, you might regret it.
Enjoy your new can-do-minimum!