We were at a hotel in NYC last weekend and had breakfast in the restaurant. The 18% gratuity was included (they did call it a service charge). Breakfast service was slow and not very friendly, and I thought 18% was plenty and didn’t add more, though we’re typically in the 25% range when we add the tip ourselves. I’ve noticed this at other hotels over the last couple of years (one in Denver about a year ago, for example)—both the automatic service charge and the lackluster service.
So I may be imagining things, but we’ve traveled enough in non-tipping cultures (Europe, NZ/Oz, etc.) that I don’t think so. It feels like when no tip is expected or hoped for, the service is more lackluster and less friendly than I’m used to in the U.S. In fact, we’re on a cruise ship right now where tipping is not a thing, and while the service in the restaurants and bars is pleasant enough, it’s definitely on the slower side.
Ed, you may be the first person I’ve ever “met” who’s read Boswell’s Life of Johnson. I had it assigned in a class when I was a graduate student, all 1500 pages of it. I was busy, so I read the first 500 pages and the last 200 pages and skipped the middle. I only missed 8 years of Johnson’s life, and I still got an A+ on the final. 😂
My mother-in-law was in memory care in August 2024. She fainted and they called 9-1-1. She arrested in the ambulance and had a DNR on file, so they took her to the hospital where a doctor pronounced her. The three calls we got were from the memory care (“we sent her to the hospital”), the hospital (“where should we send the body”), and then the memory care place again (“we need you to come clear out her room”). I’m not saying they caused her death or anything, but it was not exactly a seamless or compassionate experience. It seemed like everyone washed their hands of her.
Mark, my very first research project in graduate school was about the incidental acquisition of vocabulary through extensive reading. I later co-authored a book for teachers on teaching reading to English learners that included major coverage of vocabulary (as both a consequence of proficient reading and a barrier to it—studies show that if a text has too much unfamiliar vocabulary, readers will give up in frustration, so targeting reading choices to vocabulary knowledge matters, especially for children or second language learners). I never heard the connection between vocabulary knowledge (both receptive and productive) and wealth, though. It makes great intuitive sense now that you’ve pointed it out.
My dad sold insurance his whole life (see what I did there?), and he got us term policies when our first child was born and second ones when our second child arrived. We extended them when we were in our 40s. We each had $1.5M in coverage until last year (age 65), and we now have $500K each until 2029 (age 69). The timing was tied partially to our kids being grown and gone but primarily to the fact that we both had state pensions coming with survivor rights. By age 65, we would have earned all or most of what our pensions would be, so the surviving spouse would have what they needed. We added the extra half-million going to age 69 in case we either wanted to work longer or wanted to postpone Social Security. We did not have much net worth at all when we bought those first policies, and as for the second ones, it was mainly just our retirement entitlements and some home equity. So the term policies were an important part of taking of each other (and our kids when that was still applicable).
Thanks, Andrew. I’m sure the kitchen is going to be awesome when it’s done. I love to cook and to be hospitable, and having a barely functioning kitchen* is wearing on me, especially since I had very nice kitchens in our last two homes. But it will happen! *For example, the oven in the ancient stove turned on twice after we moved in and then died, and I’m not paying hundreds of dollars to have it repaired when the whole thing will soon be demolished. We have an ADU with a (somewhat) functioning oven, so I trek through the backyard when I want to bake or roast something. This will definitely get old once it starts raining!
Best wishes for your treatment and recovery, Catherine. I relate to what you said about managing other people’s anxiety. As I’ve shared here, I recently got a sobering diagnosis, and I’m finding myself not really wanting to talk about it with my “real life” people. I feel healthy and normal and don’t really want people to start worrying about me or seeing me differently (at least before they might have to). In your case, it would be hard not to tell people you’re having cancer treatment, and I can see why you’d find their distress to be draining.
Mark, I’ve been thinking about this, too—how much of my identity as a working person was always being busy and productive. I don’t really miss being a professor, and I kind of relish meeting someone new and saying, “Oh, I’m retired.” But I relate to the sheepish feeling that I’m not really doing much these days. Like you, I get over it quickly, though!
I’ll give an over-under of one year before you also replace the dryer, and I’ll take the under. We sold our condo in May. It was a bit under 7 years old. The washer was starting to make thumping noises. It’s now someone else’s problem.
Comments
We were at a hotel in NYC last weekend and had breakfast in the restaurant. The 18% gratuity was included (they did call it a service charge). Breakfast service was slow and not very friendly, and I thought 18% was plenty and didn’t add more, though we’re typically in the 25% range when we add the tip ourselves. I’ve noticed this at other hotels over the last couple of years (one in Denver about a year ago, for example)—both the automatic service charge and the lackluster service.
Post: Is an 18% Service Charge a TIP?
Link to comment from October 17, 2026
So I may be imagining things, but we’ve traveled enough in non-tipping cultures (Europe, NZ/Oz, etc.) that I don’t think so. It feels like when no tip is expected or hoped for, the service is more lackluster and less friendly than I’m used to in the U.S. In fact, we’re on a cruise ship right now where tipping is not a thing, and while the service in the restaurants and bars is pleasant enough, it’s definitely on the slower side.
Post: Is an 18% Service Charge a TIP?
Link to comment from October 17, 2026
Ed, you may be the first person I’ve ever “met” who’s read Boswell’s Life of Johnson. I had it assigned in a class when I was a graduate student, all 1500 pages of it. I was busy, so I read the first 500 pages and the last 200 pages and skipped the middle. I only missed 8 years of Johnson’s life, and I still got an A+ on the final. 😂
Post: Is an 18% Service Charge a TIP?
Link to comment from October 17, 2026
My mother-in-law was in memory care in August 2024. She fainted and they called 9-1-1. She arrested in the ambulance and had a DNR on file, so they took her to the hospital where a doctor pronounced her. The three calls we got were from the memory care (“we sent her to the hospital”), the hospital (“where should we send the body”), and then the memory care place again (“we need you to come clear out her room”). I’m not saying they caused her death or anything, but it was not exactly a seamless or compassionate experience. It seemed like everyone washed their hands of her.
Post: Choosing a CCRC (Life PlanCommunity)
Link to comment from October 17, 2026
Mark, my very first research project in graduate school was about the incidental acquisition of vocabulary through extensive reading. I later co-authored a book for teachers on teaching reading to English learners that included major coverage of vocabulary (as both a consequence of proficient reading and a barrier to it—studies show that if a text has too much unfamiliar vocabulary, readers will give up in frustration, so targeting reading choices to vocabulary knowledge matters, especially for children or second language learners). I never heard the connection between vocabulary knowledge (both receptive and productive) and wealth, though. It makes great intuitive sense now that you’ve pointed it out.
Post: A Million Words to a Million Dollars?
Link to comment from October 17, 2026
My dad sold insurance his whole life (see what I did there?), and he got us term policies when our first child was born and second ones when our second child arrived. We extended them when we were in our 40s. We each had $1.5M in coverage until last year (age 65), and we now have $500K each until 2029 (age 69). The timing was tied partially to our kids being grown and gone but primarily to the fact that we both had state pensions coming with survivor rights. By age 65, we would have earned all or most of what our pensions would be, so the surviving spouse would have what they needed. We added the extra half-million going to age 69 in case we either wanted to work longer or wanted to postpone Social Security. We did not have much net worth at all when we bought those first policies, and as for the second ones, it was mainly just our retirement entitlements and some home equity. So the term policies were an important part of taking of each other (and our kids when that was still applicable).
Post: Life Insurance
Link to comment from October 17, 2026
Thanks, Andrew. I’m sure the kitchen is going to be awesome when it’s done. I love to cook and to be hospitable, and having a barely functioning kitchen* is wearing on me, especially since I had very nice kitchens in our last two homes. But it will happen! *For example, the oven in the ancient stove turned on twice after we moved in and then died, and I’m not paying hundreds of dollars to have it repaired when the whole thing will soon be demolished. We have an ADU with a (somewhat) functioning oven, so I trek through the backyard when I want to bake or roast something. This will definitely get old once it starts raining!
Post: Room For Happiness
Link to comment from October 9, 2026
Best wishes for your treatment and recovery, Catherine. I relate to what you said about managing other people’s anxiety. As I’ve shared here, I recently got a sobering diagnosis, and I’m finding myself not really wanting to talk about it with my “real life” people. I feel healthy and normal and don’t really want people to start worrying about me or seeing me differently (at least before they might have to). In your case, it would be hard not to tell people you’re having cancer treatment, and I can see why you’d find their distress to be draining.
Post: Room For Happiness
Link to comment from October 9, 2026
Mark, I’ve been thinking about this, too—how much of my identity as a working person was always being busy and productive. I don’t really miss being a professor, and I kind of relish meeting someone new and saying, “Oh, I’m retired.” But I relate to the sheepish feeling that I’m not really doing much these days. Like you, I get over it quickly, though!
Post: Momentarily Embarrassed by “Not Much”
Link to comment from October 9, 2026
I’ll give an over-under of one year before you also replace the dryer, and I’ll take the under. We sold our condo in May. It was a bit under 7 years old. The washer was starting to make thumping noises. It’s now someone else’s problem.
Post: Laundered
Link to comment from October 3, 2026