My husband and I are the same age. He has more longevity in his family tree than I do—his grandfather lived to 102, and his other grandparents and parents into their 80s. I, on the other hand, had my father and both grandfathers die of heart attacks in their 60s, and my brother had emergency bypass surgery when he was just 47 (he’s 54 now). My mother and aunt are almost 85 and 87 respectively, so there’s that. My husband has been saying for years that he expects to predecease me. I think he bases that on the fact that I take better care of myself (workouts, eating). I remind him that the genetics predict otherwise, and don’t be so sure. My recent diagnosis of cardiovascular disease has gotten his attention. Now “bad family history” has turned into “bad test results.” I manage our household finances, and I’m way more tech-savvy than he is. So I’ve been working hard over the last couple of weeks on making sure the “last instructions” letter and supporting documents are up to date and user-friendly. I’ll sit down with him soon to go over it all. I do worry about how lonely and sad he’d be without me. We’ve been married since we were 23 (43 years), and though we do have friends and family connections, he’s more introverted than I am. He’s semi-retiring (going to 50% time) next week, and I’m going to nudge him to spend more time with friends outside the house once he has more free time. Odds are I’m not crossing the Rainbow Bridge anytime soon, but the truth is you never know. It helps manage my anxiety to know that things are organized for him—or for our estate if we both go down in an airplane!
The exemption is age-based only, not income-related. And I’m sure you’re right that some seniors in town are more well-off than young families, but I also know some seniors who are on very tight budgets. As I said, I think the bond issues were written that way to help them to pass.
I think you and I have talked about this before, and I know what you think about it, but it’s an interesting example. Our university town has excellent public schools, and there have been multiple bond issues over the decades to give more money to local schools. Most people in town are in favor of the schools staying excellent, so these bond issues always pass. The last couple of bond issues, though, got some pushback. There were some legitimate concerns about how the school board has managed money, but the main thing was that these taxes on top of more taxes were getting to be onerous, at least in the views of some. There were concerns about senior citizens on limited incomes being taxed to the skies, so in order to help the bond issues pass, optional exemptions were written into the two most recent ones. The senior citizen can choose to apply for the exemption or not. They are still paying for the schools because of earlier sources of funds that do not have those exemption options built in. They’re just not being forced to pay even more if they feel they can’t (or just don’t want to). I saw this as a political trade-off to try to serve the needs of different constituencies, not primarily a way to be nice to senior citizens.
To me, the appeal of the "dying with zero" concept is that giving money away while you're still living is more satisfying than keeping it all until you're dead. Your family, the charities you care about--they can use the money now, rather than (maybe decades) later. Of course, the devil is in the details, and figuring out how much is "enough" for your own future needs is not an exact science. (Die with Zero doesn't suggest that you should shortchange your own future needs.)
I'd say we're taking a middle path. I agree with Marilyn that I want to make sure we have enough of a cushion to care for ourselves for the duration, and I'd like to leave an inheritance. We've already made our "big" financial move (our recent home purchase), we have two nice, paid-off, low-mileage cars, and we take nice trips and treat ourselves to the occasional really nice meal. I can't see any need to ramp up our spending. We already have a nice life. But I'm also not interested in pinching pennies to make sure our inheritance is larger when we pass. My husband is semi-retiring (going to 50% time) nine days from now, so our income will drop. I asked him which of my self-care line items I should drop (Pilates studio, massages, nail salon, etc.) given a tighter budget, and he said, "None of them." In the big scheme of things, it's not that much money. If we have to dip modestly into savings to supplement our monthly income, isn't that what it's there for?
2a. If you already have your will/trust documents in place, make sure you have a final instructions document ready for loved ones (or update it if it's been a minute).
Agreed—vigilant, plus use a password manager, plus two-factor authentication on everything important. (And don’t forget to tell loved ones to keep your phone handy for those 2FAs when you’ve crossed the Rainbow Bridge…)
Thank you for this, Elaine, and I’m thinking of you and the family in this difficult week. The updates to the site sound great—thanks for your efforts!
Andrew, thank you for this rich word portrait on what must be a difficult anniversary for you. I discovered HumbleDollar in 2020 when one of Richard Quinn’s articles about being trapped on a cruise ship during the early COVID days crossed my news feed, and it led me here. By early 2023, I had a modest list of possible topics I might like to write about, and I got up my nerve and reached out to Jonathan, who was as generous, welcoming, and encouraging as you and others describe. I didn’t know whether a professor with no expertise in finance had anything worth saying, but Jonathan made space for me, and the readers welcomed me, too. I still miss his presence here, but thanks to you and others, he’ll never really be gone.
Comments
My husband and I are the same age. He has more longevity in his family tree than I do—his grandfather lived to 102, and his other grandparents and parents into their 80s. I, on the other hand, had my father and both grandfathers die of heart attacks in their 60s, and my brother had emergency bypass surgery when he was just 47 (he’s 54 now). My mother and aunt are almost 85 and 87 respectively, so there’s that. My husband has been saying for years that he expects to predecease me. I think he bases that on the fact that I take better care of myself (workouts, eating). I remind him that the genetics predict otherwise, and don’t be so sure. My recent diagnosis of cardiovascular disease has gotten his attention. Now “bad family history” has turned into “bad test results.” I manage our household finances, and I’m way more tech-savvy than he is. So I’ve been working hard over the last couple of weeks on making sure the “last instructions” letter and supporting documents are up to date and user-friendly. I’ll sit down with him soon to go over it all. I do worry about how lonely and sad he’d be without me. We’ve been married since we were 23 (43 years), and though we do have friends and family connections, he’s more introverted than I am. He’s semi-retiring (going to 50% time) next week, and I’m going to nudge him to spend more time with friends outside the house once he has more free time. Odds are I’m not crossing the Rainbow Bridge anytime soon, but the truth is you never know. It helps manage my anxiety to know that things are organized for him—or for our estate if we both go down in an airplane!
Post: The Security Money Can’t Buy
Link to comment from September 25, 2026
The exemption is age-based only, not income-related. And I’m sure you’re right that some seniors in town are more well-off than young families, but I also know some seniors who are on very tight budgets. As I said, I think the bond issues were written that way to help them to pass.
Post: What I think about taxes- all kinds of taxes
Link to comment from September 22, 2026
I think you and I have talked about this before, and I know what you think about it, but it’s an interesting example. Our university town has excellent public schools, and there have been multiple bond issues over the decades to give more money to local schools. Most people in town are in favor of the schools staying excellent, so these bond issues always pass. The last couple of bond issues, though, got some pushback. There were some legitimate concerns about how the school board has managed money, but the main thing was that these taxes on top of more taxes were getting to be onerous, at least in the views of some. There were concerns about senior citizens on limited incomes being taxed to the skies, so in order to help the bond issues pass, optional exemptions were written into the two most recent ones. The senior citizen can choose to apply for the exemption or not. They are still paying for the schools because of earlier sources of funds that do not have those exemption options built in. They’re just not being forced to pay even more if they feel they can’t (or just don’t want to). I saw this as a political trade-off to try to serve the needs of different constituencies, not primarily a way to be nice to senior citizens.
Post: What I think about taxes- all kinds of taxes
Link to comment from September 22, 2026
To me, the appeal of the "dying with zero" concept is that giving money away while you're still living is more satisfying than keeping it all until you're dead. Your family, the charities you care about--they can use the money now, rather than (maybe decades) later. Of course, the devil is in the details, and figuring out how much is "enough" for your own future needs is not an exact science. (Die with Zero doesn't suggest that you should shortchange your own future needs.)
Post: Anyone For S.K.I.ing?
Link to comment from September 22, 2026
I'd say we're taking a middle path. I agree with Marilyn that I want to make sure we have enough of a cushion to care for ourselves for the duration, and I'd like to leave an inheritance. We've already made our "big" financial move (our recent home purchase), we have two nice, paid-off, low-mileage cars, and we take nice trips and treat ourselves to the occasional really nice meal. I can't see any need to ramp up our spending. We already have a nice life. But I'm also not interested in pinching pennies to make sure our inheritance is larger when we pass. My husband is semi-retiring (going to 50% time) nine days from now, so our income will drop. I asked him which of my self-care line items I should drop (Pilates studio, massages, nail salon, etc.) given a tighter budget, and he said, "None of them." In the big scheme of things, it's not that much money. If we have to dip modestly into savings to supplement our monthly income, isn't that what it's there for?
Post: Anyone For S.K.I.ing?
Link to comment from September 22, 2026
2a. If you already have your will/trust documents in place, make sure you have a final instructions document ready for loved ones (or update it if it's been a minute).
Post: 15 Tasks for Today
Link to comment from September 22, 2026
I use 1Password. There was a bit of a learning curve, but now I have it humming.
Post: Two Fraudulent Attempts to Withdraw Funds in Two Days
Link to comment from September 22, 2026
Agreed—vigilant, plus use a password manager, plus two-factor authentication on everything important. (And don’t forget to tell loved ones to keep your phone handy for those 2FAs when you’ve crossed the Rainbow Bridge…)
Post: Two Fraudulent Attempts to Withdraw Funds in Two Days
Link to comment from September 22, 2026
Thank you for this, Elaine, and I’m thinking of you and the family in this difficult week. The updates to the site sound great—thanks for your efforts!
Post: It’s been one year
Link to comment from September 21, 2026
Andrew, thank you for this rich word portrait on what must be a difficult anniversary for you. I discovered HumbleDollar in 2020 when one of Richard Quinn’s articles about being trapped on a cruise ship during the early COVID days crossed my news feed, and it led me here. By early 2023, I had a modest list of possible topics I might like to write about, and I got up my nerve and reached out to Jonathan, who was as generous, welcoming, and encouraging as you and others describe. I didn’t know whether a professor with no expertise in finance had anything worth saying, but Jonathan made space for me, and the readers welcomed me, too. I still miss his presence here, but thanks to you and others, he’ll never really be gone.
Post: The Jonathan I Found: Through Others’ Eyes
Link to comment from September 21, 2026