I do understand your position, but isn’t all of this an example of life style creep? I think we can all be guilty of that regardless of our age or finances. Look at the party— 28 women and the deposit is $100 a head. Are all REALLY the closest friends? That number is large! And if the deposit is $100, the total cost is likely to be much greater — and this isn’t the wedding— just the run up. I’d guess that all the party participants are also invited to the weddin. So much more cost for them. They may well put the clothes for that event on credit cards (I doubt dresses from H&M will be acceptable) and each them will also have a plus one who will also need appropriate attire. Add in travel and hotel, and total grows. Also, it’s likely your daughter’s wedding might not be the only one they’ll attend this year. I don’t know about yours, but my wedding didn’t put that kind of financial pressure on my friends, My 58th anniversary is Monday.
Call me crazy or whatever, but I would just have covered the deposit. The expenses younger guests at weddings these days incur seem out of hand. I can’t tell you how many bridesmaids dresses, required hair salon visits, plane tickets, hotel rooms, and gifts my daughter paid for. The fact these women might not have an extra $100 at the end of the month seems totally reasonable to me.
I agree — so how do the CCRCs manage the increasing costs of the people they’ve promised to keep forever as the ratio of those needing little care to the ones needing much more tips toward the latter group?
My kids are hardworking professionals- one a MD in a high demand soecialty, the other a lawyer from a top 10 law school, Neither had education debt or spent frivolously. But they didn’t have extra money at the end of the month either in their late 29s and early 30s. They were truly “getting started,” and that cost money,
I think you need to broaden your definition of pay check to paycheck. Folks in that age group have a lot of financial responsibilities including new mortgages, childcare costs, etc. The women didn’t say they wouldn’t pay or ask to put the $100 on a credit card— they just asked for a little time. I’d cut them some slack,
I have friends who constantly tell me I should enter some retirement facility because I won’t have to grocery shop or cook any more. I LOVE to grocery shop, and I agree about the advantages of home cooking others have mentioned. I’d add another— mental stimulation. When buying groceries, it’s necessary to assure all ingredients will be in the kitchen— I never have a list— and while cooking, there’s the need to assure the timing of the various dishes. But I am glad my husband does the cleaning up— I tend to use every pot!
Comments
No money here in special buckets either. I agree whatever works is a “good plan.”
Post: Locking it in
Link to comment from September 6, 2026
It’s all past my pay grade! Good luck!
Post: Behind The Finery
Link to comment from September 4, 2026
I do understand your position, but isn’t all of this an example of life style creep? I think we can all be guilty of that regardless of our age or finances. Look at the party— 28 women and the deposit is $100 a head. Are all REALLY the closest friends? That number is large! And if the deposit is $100, the total cost is likely to be much greater — and this isn’t the wedding— just the run up. I’d guess that all the party participants are also invited to the weddin. So much more cost for them. They may well put the clothes for that event on credit cards (I doubt dresses from H&M will be acceptable) and each them will also have a plus one who will also need appropriate attire. Add in travel and hotel, and total grows. Also, it’s likely your daughter’s wedding might not be the only one they’ll attend this year. I don’t know about yours, but my wedding didn’t put that kind of financial pressure on my friends, My 58th anniversary is Monday.
Post: Behind The Finery
Link to comment from September 4, 2026
Call me crazy or whatever, but I would just have covered the deposit. The expenses younger guests at weddings these days incur seem out of hand. I can’t tell you how many bridesmaids dresses, required hair salon visits, plane tickets, hotel rooms, and gifts my daughter paid for. The fact these women might not have an extra $100 at the end of the month seems totally reasonable to me.
Post: Behind The Finery
Link to comment from September 4, 2026
I agree — so how do the CCRCs manage the increasing costs of the people they’ve promised to keep forever as the ratio of those needing little care to the ones needing much more tips toward the latter group?
Post: Percentage that “age in place”
Link to comment from September 3, 2026
My kids are hardworking professionals- one a MD in a high demand soecialty, the other a lawyer from a top 10 law school, Neither had education debt or spent frivolously. But they didn’t have extra money at the end of the month either in their late 29s and early 30s. They were truly “getting started,” and that cost money,
Post: Behind The Finery
Link to comment from September 3, 2026
I think you need to broaden your definition of pay check to paycheck. Folks in that age group have a lot of financial responsibilities including new mortgages, childcare costs, etc. The women didn’t say they wouldn’t pay or ask to put the $100 on a credit card— they just asked for a little time. I’d cut them some slack,
Post: Behind The Finery
Link to comment from September 3, 2026
We ‘re having supermarket steamed lobsters for dinner tonight. With the store coupon, $22 for the two crustaceans! Can’t beat it!!
Post: The Value of Scratch Cooking in Retirement
Link to comment from September 2, 2026
Very nice piece.
Post: Finding A Balance
Link to comment from September 2, 2026
I have friends who constantly tell me I should enter some retirement facility because I won’t have to grocery shop or cook any more. I LOVE to grocery shop, and I agree about the advantages of home cooking others have mentioned. I’d add another— mental stimulation. When buying groceries, it’s necessary to assure all ingredients will be in the kitchen— I never have a list— and while cooking, there’s the need to assure the timing of the various dishes. But I am glad my husband does the cleaning up— I tend to use every pot!
Post: The Value of Scratch Cooking in Retirement
Link to comment from September 2, 2026