The puppy may be a huge positive in your step father in law’s life. Try not to make it a part of his other issues. My husband is 84 and I’m 83; two years ago, after the death of our 13 year old dog, our kids encouraged us to adopt another. It was the right call—especially for my husband. The dog forces real structure in his life, and is a source of constant entertainment for both of us. As I wrote below, I recently checked into elder care options near my daughter. - just to see what was possible. Most of the places I’d seriously consider would accept a dog or cat. I know most of the places
in Madison also do: in fact they’re featured on the websites. Even if FIL remains at home, there are options. From what you’ve written before, he seems to have financial resources. Dog walkers are readily available. They’re not cheap, but they allowed my 90+ year old neighbor remain at home with her Samoyed. I do understand you’re facing major issues withFIL. But I wouldn’t let the puppy complicate things— it can be accommodated.
Thanks for the suggestions! They’re exactly the kinds of things I love to do. Seems like my efforts yesterday put me on the path to some good outcomes. i meant this as a reply to David below, but learning about some different care
options is also good.
I’m a hard core age at home— at least for the present. But the possibility of something in between the seemingly extremes of stay home vs a CCRC interested me, so I was inspired to do some online exploring (it’s also raining outside.). My husband and I will need to relocate closer to one of our kids—so I checked what is available near our daughter. There are possibilities that seem pretty good fits for us. A for profit operation with 2 bedroom assisted living apartments that would allow us to keep our dog and that hasan indoor swimming pool seemed especially promising. The monthly fees are high, but, if one us us needs that kind of help, our LTC insurance would pay for that person and our pensions and SS would easily cover the other. There also is no huge upfront payment, so our house with its enormous capital gains wouldn’t have to be sold. Looks like a possibility. Not to say, I rushing to do this!! I also looked at flights to Greece for next April this afternoon. But I may show the site to my daughter and indicate she should keep it in mind if there’s a need. I’m still hoping for fast exits for both of us.
I’m with your wife. We tried many cleaning services while we were both working; we concluded they left the house dirtier than when they found it. The idea they were bringing vacuums and other materials used in other people’s houses was dusgusting! I’m not a super cleaner, but better than we were paying for.
Great piece!! So absolutely true. We cater to a Norfolk Terrier, who was imported from Slovakia and then judged not adequate for breeding here. He flies wherever we go— I don’t see why he doesn’t get frequent flier miles!
We had a 90 year old woman in the class who had been in it for about 20years. Her husband died in the middle of the night. Her kids insisted she attend the class the following morning. I think it was good call on the part of her kids. The class members were very supportive.
Comments
I’ve actually tried doing it. The presence of the dog while taking my blood pressure definitely does result in a significantly lower reading.
Post: What is the right percentage?
Link to comment from August 10, 2026
The puppy may be a huge positive in your step father in law’s life. Try not to make it a part of his other issues. My husband is 84 and I’m 83; two years ago, after the death of our 13 year old dog, our kids encouraged us to adopt another. It was the right call—especially for my husband. The dog forces real structure in his life, and is a source of constant entertainment for both of us. As I wrote below, I recently checked into elder care options near my daughter. - just to see what was possible. Most of the places I’d seriously consider would accept a dog or cat. I know most of the places in Madison also do: in fact they’re featured on the websites. Even if FIL remains at home, there are options. From what you’ve written before, he seems to have financial resources. Dog walkers are readily available. They’re not cheap, but they allowed my 90+ year old neighbor remain at home with her Samoyed. I do understand you’re facing major issues withFIL. But I wouldn’t let the puppy complicate things— it can be accommodated.
Post: Before Someone Else Decides
Link to comment from August 10, 2026
Same here. We dont want our kids getting stuck with those taxes during their highest earning years.
Post: Roth Conversions and Taxes
Link to comment from August 9, 2026
I agree. Somehow I think I’d manage if I ran out of money— but without health and friends, I might be better off dead.
Post: For most retirees, the greatest fear is not death—it is running out of money before they die.
Link to comment from August 7, 2026
Thanks for the suggestions! They’re exactly the kinds of things I love to do. Seems like my efforts yesterday put me on the path to some good outcomes. i meant this as a reply to David below, but learning about some different care options is also good.
Post: Before Someone Else Decides
Link to comment from August 4, 2026
I’m a hard core age at home— at least for the present. But the possibility of something in between the seemingly extremes of stay home vs a CCRC interested me, so I was inspired to do some online exploring (it’s also raining outside.). My husband and I will need to relocate closer to one of our kids—so I checked what is available near our daughter. There are possibilities that seem pretty good fits for us. A for profit operation with 2 bedroom assisted living apartments that would allow us to keep our dog and that hasan indoor swimming pool seemed especially promising. The monthly fees are high, but, if one us us needs that kind of help, our LTC insurance would pay for that person and our pensions and SS would easily cover the other. There also is no huge upfront payment, so our house with its enormous capital gains wouldn’t have to be sold. Looks like a possibility. Not to say, I rushing to do this!! I also looked at flights to Greece for next April this afternoon. But I may show the site to my daughter and indicate she should keep it in mind if there’s a need. I’m still hoping for fast exits for both of us.
Post: Before Someone Else Decides
Link to comment from August 3, 2026
I’m with your wife. We tried many cleaning services while we were both working; we concluded they left the house dirtier than when they found it. The idea they were bringing vacuums and other materials used in other people’s houses was dusgusting! I’m not a super cleaner, but better than we were paying for.
Post: One Person’s Luxury, Another’s Necessity
Link to comment from July 24, 2026
Great piece!! So absolutely true. We cater to a Norfolk Terrier, who was imported from Slovakia and then judged not adequate for breeding here. He flies wherever we go— I don’t see why he doesn’t get frequent flier miles!
Post: Too Good to be True
Link to comment from July 23, 2026
I agree — though I thought I was the only one who felt that way.
Post: One Person’s Luxury, Another’s Necessity
Link to comment from July 22, 2026
We had a 90 year old woman in the class who had been in it for about 20years. Her husband died in the middle of the night. Her kids insisted she attend the class the following morning. I think it was good call on the part of her kids. The class members were very supportive.
Post: One Person’s Luxury, Another’s Necessity
Link to comment from July 22, 2026