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DO YOU REMEMBER the days before you could drive? You felt like you were on a leash. No freedom. No fun.
I have news for you: Those days could return.
One of the post-age-65 nightmares that we don’t talk about enough: Most affluent retirees live in the suburbs. Homes are miles from grocery stores, medical offices, movie theatres, restaurants and—perhaps most important—drugstores.
In the suburbs, the stream of city-based public transportation usually slows to a trickle. Sidewalks are mostly nonexistent. Even when they’re there, a five-or-six-mile hike to the nearest drugstore is probably too much, especially now that we have summers when the heat index soars to 115.
Do you think you’ll always be able to drive? Don’t be so confident. That’s what my father thought. He was a retired school principal first licensed to operate a motor vehicle when Franklin Roosevelt held office. Having developed balance issues in his 60s, Dad was placed on Dilantin. Despite the medication, his balance issues grew worse and came to a head in his mid-70s.
One day, I received a call from Dad. He was distraught. “The bastard took my license,” he told me.
Apparently, the neurologist treating my father had decided that the balance issues now compromised public safety. A mandated reporter, the neurologist duly informed the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation. Thus, my father’s driving privileges were deposited into the dustbin of history.
From a safety perspective, I don’t question the neurologist’s decision. My dad had been getting into minor accidents. After he died, I learned that there had been more incidents than he’d mentioned. When I was getting the house ready to sell, I discovered a sliding glass door in the dining room had been smashed. I called the local police to make a report. As I talked to the police officers, one told me that my father had knocked over some mailboxes with his car. “He never told me about that,” I said.
The officer smiled and said, “He was probably embarrassed and didn’t want you to know.”
While rescinding my father’s driving privileges preserved local mailboxes, the action devastated my parents. Married in 1956, they were that era’s definition of independence. They went where they wanted when they wanted. They would motor from their suburban home to a destination 100 miles distant just for a little get away. They lived life on their terms.
For about six months after my father lost his license, my mother drove. Then she had a stroke, and her driving days ended. For the remainder of his life, my father took taxis everywhere, even to the convenience store for milk. This state of affairs did not constitute a pleasant existence for either of my parents.
Independence had disappeared.
Despite the pain of license revocation, there was a slightly humorous epilogue to the story. When my father became sick, I began flying home to Erie from Minneapolis. When I’d arrive at Erie International Airport, I would call for a taxi to take me straight to the hospital. I would give my first and last name, and the taxi dispatcher would ask, “Is this Walt’s kid? How’s your dad?” Practically every taxi driver in Erie had gotten to know my father. They were genuinely sad when he died.
Unless you want to end up as a celebrity to taxi and Uber drivers, you might take steps to ensure that your post-driving days allow you as much access to the world as possible. To be honest, the problem of life after cars isn’t an easy one for most senior American suburbanites to solve.
I see three possibilities. First, you can live near children who are willing to repay all the hauling you did. Unfortunately, college-educated children often move far away from their parents.
Second, you could move into a senior living facility that’ll have outings. Personally, I’d find such a situation terrible: summer camp for geezers. Perhaps an alternative could be finding an all-ages intentional community that would swap transportation for chores. Few intentional communities exist in the U.S., and those that do might be reluctant to take on very senior members.
Third, you could move to an urban location where you can walk to most necessary amenities. In this country, though, very few truly walkable and safe cities exist. One article notes that “a study in the Journal of Medicine and Health found that the rate of social isolation was twice as high for seniors who did not drive as for those who did.” It may be true that no man is an island, but it can certainly feel that way in the suburbs without a car.
The article’s author, Daniel Herriges, argues that “the most important and highest returning investments our cities and towns can make now are in access for those who don’t drive.” While Herriges is correct, major changes in the infrastructure of most cities and towns seem unlikely. Thus, you’re left with few good choices if you’d like to move from the suburbs to a walkable environment.
My own plans involve moving back to Pennsylvania when I retire. Pittsburgh offers some walkable neighborhoods, such as Shadyside, and senior-safe public transportation. I’ve also considered moving back to Philadelphia, where I went to college. Parts of the city, especially South Philadelphia and Center City, are both nice and walkable. But Philly’s public transportation system, SEPTA, can be a little terrifying, especially at night. What was edgy when I was 19 might be discomfiting at 70.
If I do move back to Philadelphia, I’ll probably follow in the family tradition and become that old guy that all the taxi drivers get to know.
Like father, like son.
Douglas W. Texter is an associate professor of English at Johnson County Community College in Overland Park, Kansas. Doug teaches a composition I course that focuses on personal finance. His essays and fiction have appeared in venues such as the Chronicle of Higher Education, Utopian Studies, New English Review and The Writers of the Future Anthology. Check out Doug’s previous articles.
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Like fish don’t know they live in water, most us don’t know we live our lives by driving. Going where you want, whenever you want, for any want or need or reason is such a fundamental assumption that its impossible to imagine what happens when you can’t drive. And in any given scenario or situation, the question of whether maybe you shouldn’t be driving always takes second place to that want or need or very important reason for grabbing your keys and heading out. The simplest, (dare I say, humblest) way to lay down groundwork for when that day comes that you can’t drive is to start now. Try using the bus. Try asking for a ride, or offering one. Try walking. Try Lyft. Practice what it feels like and how much time it takes. Practice how to plan without feeling deprived, or constrained. Practice trying on the frustration when you’d rather run over to the drive-through for supper but choose peanut butter on toast instead. Put down your car keys and practice, for your own sake and for the sake of those you love.
“Unfortunately, college-educated children often move far away from their parents.”
I hear this statement from all my friends and acquaintances.
Then they ask me why I’m lucky enough that NONE of my children – who are all college-educated – have moved away.
I usually shrug my shoulders as if I have idea why or I don’t respond at all.
If they persist I suggest they think about their own behavior towards their children.
Let’s see what I can find around me
Kroger 1 mile
Publix 2 miles
Home Depot 1 mile
Walmart+ Aldi 4 miles.
Pharmacies look above
Most Doctors + Hospitals are within 5-10 miles some at 15-20 miles.
Restaurants 1-5 miles.
The busiest airport in the world is just 30 minutes away where I can fly to anywhere and the airport management is one of the best.
My subdivision has 3 pools, bike paths, 10 tennis courts, 5 pickleball, lushing green everywhere, a man-made lake with 2.5 path, and quiet streets….all at $850 HOA per year.
I can walk in my subdivision or around the lake which is 5 minutes walk from our house or hike in nature about 5-10 minutes drive from me.
Do I want to live in a big city downtown? no thanks, crime, too congested, less green, too much noise, and lousy public transportation.
The beauty of living in a small town just outside of a big town is the fact that crime is a lot lower, but if you need sometimes extra service you can get it. I compare my city to Philadelphia in violent crime: my city is at 7.6 Phi at 50.8. See https://www.bestplaces.net/crime/
I’m almost 75 and can see the time coming when I’m no longer able to drive. I’ve never been particularly tied to cars, I didn’t get a license until I was 22. The most that I’ve ever driven in a year was about 13,000 miles, and that was about 40 years ago. Now I drive less than 5,000 miles per year.
I live in a suburb of Rochester NY which is reasonably walkable. It’s not unusual for me to walk 5-10 miles per day. I recently started to carry a cane to catch myself if I stumble, I don’t normally put any weight on it. I also have a recumbent tricycle (two wheels in the front, one in the rear, and a lawn chair-like seat). However, I still rely on my car for occasional longer trips, when the weather is bad, or when I need to buy something that I can’t carry home.
My only close relatives are my older brother, who is in assisted living, and my 65-year-old sister, who lives 15 miles away and has never had a license.
I haven’t decided what I will do when I can no longer drive, it will probably involve a senior community of some sort.
One of the reasons I’m moving back to Philly is the exact same reason you highlight above. Philadelphia is the rare combination of big city with all the amenities you’d ever need while still being completely walkable. I’ve walked from South Philly to Art Museum and back all in one day, no problem. Throw in the airport and 30th street station nearby and we’re talking one of the few cities in America where you could easily live car free without sacrificing anything.
Music to my ears! Philly has a great restaurant, arts and sports scene, and it’s pretty affordable. I tell folks it’s like New York City, except everything is one-third off. We walk everywhere and don’t currently own a car.
Uber/lift could be ideal when readily available. None of the hassles or expenses of car ownership. Depending on the number of trips, one could save money. My auto insurance bill alone would pay for many trips. Meeting others, the drivers. Helping others – most Uber drivers really need the money. So instead of focusing on the loss, consider the potential gains….
When we bought our present house 47 years ago, sidewalks and proximity to everything were at the top of our wanted list—not for us, but for our kids. They never took a bus to school and they walked to soccer practices, piano lessons,etc. Of course, the nearby shopping street has changed over the years. Trader Joe’s has replaced the independent supermarket, the paint store is now a boutique that sells Patagonia, and the children’s bookstore is a high end restaurant. The independent drugstore, however, still remains as does the branch library. A large variety of restaurants are close by, and a park complete with a small natural lake is a block and a half from our house. My husband and I still drive, but doctors offices and all the major hospitals are within walking distance or relatively cheap taxi rides. We could even take the bus to the airport from a stop 3 short blocks away. We know our neighbors, their kids, and their pets. It’s the perfect area to age in place.
I certainly can relate to “no driving” restrictions. Late last year, I fell and hit my head. What at first seemed like a minor incident turned into two brain surgeries and a no driving for 6 months. My wife drove me some and I took a lot of Ubers and Lyft rides. I just got my driving restrictions lifted and realized how isolating not driving is. We’re in the suburbs now and looking at CCRC and 55+ communities. We’ve added public transportation to one of the important things to consider in making this decision.
I’ve been driving since my 16th Bday, 1961.
From various sized trucks, tractors, muscle cars of the 60’s and dozens of vehicles in between.
A few tickets in my younger days, but never at fault in a wreck. These days as much as I love the freedom of driving, it’s not enjoyable with the hustle bustle of so much traffic combined with the many law offenders and flat idiotic and discourtesy drivers.
Note. My conclusion to avoid the in harms way of shopping parking lots is simple.
Get to the empty back of the lot asap, park and do yourself a favor, a couple actually. Avoid the stress of looking for a parking spot and the exercise of walking while breathing deeply with a smile.
PS.
Don’t forget the extra steps to return the shopping cart, thankful your able.
We’re probably at least a decade away from having to think about giving up our keys, but this is an important issue to consider. We’re fortunate that in our college town, there’s a good local bus system that’s free for seniors, Ubers and Lyfts are plentiful and easy to get, the senior center has transportation options, too, and grocery, restaurant, and pharmacy delivery options are very good. I know that’s not true everywhere.
We recently moved from the house we built to raise our children in a rural suburb to a loft in our city’s historic downtown. Now we walk to the gym, to church, to the post office, to eat out, to see a movie, to the farmer’s market for our groceries, and to special events such as plays and music concerts. Two immediate family members also live downtown, and we can walk to one’s home in five minutes and the other’s in 20 minutes. There is a dentist and a family physician within walking distance. Without even trying, I’ve lost 10 pounds, and our dog (who was getting quite hefty) has lost five pounds. I would encourage anyone who wants to try living a walkable life to experiment living in a downtown environment. It is an amazing experience and I feel more connected to my neighbors in my building and on my block and throughout downtown than I ever did living in a suburb.
Your situation sounds amazing even for someone that drives.
Perhaps we will have self-driving cars within the next 20-30 years that could solve this issue for many seniors.
That’s what I’m hoping for but in half of your timeframe, however I realize that is really not a plan 😊!
Maybe our 50s/60s/70s are a reasonable time for periodic “test runs” of a no-car lifestyle. Like, try to not drive an all for a week each month, to learn how you’ll adapt without it looking like, when the time comes, an embarrassing indicator of personal decline. My town is tearing out car lanes to add protected bike paths, maybe I could try bicycling a bit as well as walking. I am lucky enough (e.g. spent extra when I first bought in this town) to live somewhere that has sidewalks. It’s a quarter mile to the nearest of several coffee houses and maybe a half mile to the nearest grocery store, which is part of a small retail zone that includes another coffee shop where a number of retirees gather for an hour or two every morning. It’s nearly a mile (in a relatively shady residential area with sidewalks) to the nearest movie theater. (Okay not any old theater, but one of America’s most iconic, the Tower theater, as in Tower Records. Still, a faded movie palace that’s been through a series of owners as an art house theater now.)
I can tell this neighborhood is more or less okay by the range of ages of my neighbors, from new babies to probably nonagenarians.
My new “winter home” in Tuscon has ready access to most everything an oldster needs.
Here and there, I can get groceries and dog food delivered. So hopefully it’ll work out when I hang up the keys for good. I’ll just need to remember that the dog eats the kibble and I eat the oatmeal.
“the dog eats the kibble and I eat the oatmeal.”….print it and put it on the wall so you can remember! hahaha
My nightmare would be to end up in a place where I needed to drive for everything. Somewhere like Florida.
This article is a good reminder that besides physical health, mental health is also important. And also, beside a loaded gun, a 2-ton vehicle is also a weapon. Use it with care.
You might reconsider that “summer camp for geezers” (you might reword it, too). As I wrote recently I moved to Continuing Care Retirement Community last October and am very pleased with my decision. The one I chose is walking distance to a downtown which has a library, restaurants and cafes.There’s a grocery store and more restaurants essentially next door, plus a bus stop right outside. A local pharmacy will deliver. The CCRC provides transport to doctors’ appointments. It’s a welcoming and vibrant community with loads of activities.
I am helping a 95 year old uncle navigate through his later years … He lives in a very small town in southwest PA (no police force for many miles only a rare drive through by state police) … He has told me if they take his license he will continue to drive … I have to wonder how they monitor such things Ugh
I live in a “Sun City” community in the southwest and I’ve recently learned that it’s not unheard of for seniors who lose their driving privileges to continue to drive without a license. I heard recently of one case where the kids took the car keys, so the senior just went down and bought another car. These days, I suspect the insurance companies are notified by DMV so I suspect these seniors also have no insurance. Yet another reason to make sure my uninsured motorist coverage is adequate.
As a 79 year old “car guy” who loves to drive, I know the day will come when I have to stop driving. In the meantime, I try to keep my skills up by taking periodic high-performance driving schools and being pushed to the edge of my comfort level. Latest was at the infield track at the Indy-500. First time I’ve been 155mph in a car. What a blast!
You beat me. I got to 115 on the open road in Montana.
120 on a motorcycle going thru the desert, many moons ago. Then I started thinking about if I saw a tortoise or something crossing the road. I shut it down to a reasonable 80😉
Doug and I deliberately sought a walkable community for retirement. Growing up in NYC boroughs, we walked everywhere. We paid more to buy a small house in our tiny town rather than in the surrounding wooded communities of Pike County, but felt the walkability was worth it. I drive many places, but I handle many daily activities on foot. One annoying thing is that my local drugstore isn’t a preferred provider “ in my plan, so I currently drive five miles to Walmart, but mail order is an option. Also, the nearest hospital isn’t very good. But some compromises have to be made. Maybe, Doug, you will look at Northeastern PA for retirement. Folks here take the express bus or the train across the Delaware into NYC for work or big time entertainment, though we have plenty going on at our old-fashioned, now re-fitted little theater right here. 😊
Douglas, thanks for an important article. We had real challenges with my mother-in-law as she developed dementia. One day she disappeared from her independent living facility and was gone for 18 hours. The police stopped her at 3 AM about a half an hour away. We took her car and sent it to a nephew 8 hours away. She was not happy for quite awhile. it’s quite sad.
that is sad. a number of sad things are coming up…. 🙁
I am only 40, so this issue is a ways off for me, but I am very active in my stepfather’s retirement planning. He is 62. One thing I made sure to add to his pre-retirement checklist was including 15k-20k for a car upgrade. He is driving a late 90’s Saturn because he has no reason to upgrade right now, he just doesn’t drive more than 3-5k miles a year, as he works from home.
I let him know, though, that when he hits 70-75, he needs to invest in a car with more modern safety features like lane assistance, assisted braking, parking sensors, speed control, backup cameras, and half a dozen other new safety features that are in certain models released in the last 5 years.
I don’t think technology will fix everything with drivers, but I do think modern safety features in cars will allow seniors to remain behind the wheel safely for longer. As AI improves, hopefully, we get even safer vehicles in the coming decade; I am confident we will. And I hope by time I am in my 70’s in 30 some years, mostly autonomous driving will keep me safe and independent.
Good point. Last year at 67 I bought a new mid sized SUV with all the bells and whistles after trading in my 2004 Toyota Avalon. I’ll say that much of the technology was not new to me as my wife’s car is a 2015 (with some, but not nearly all, the 2023’s) and I have been driving relatively new rentals the last few years on work and personal travel. I find the cameras (including blind spot cameras when putting on the turn signals), auto-speed adjustment and lane assistance features, amongst many others, useful. It definitely was, and still in a year and half later, a learning curve but I like learning. I also switched to a mid sized SUV specifically because it is easier than a car for my and I, to get in and out of than our car. My intent/hope is to keep this car another 20 years just like my last one. I’ll be 87 then and hopefully, along with my wife, still enjoying my “summer home with geezers”-there are more of them, easier to get into and unlike the stereotype described in the article. My dad had a similar experience to that described in the article only he found a (too) lenient doctor that let him keep driving after several accidents and incidents. He accomplished his goal of dying at home but not without endangering himself and others.
at age 71 I use and love all that safety stuff you mention but most of my old fart friends just don’t get it. They can’t figure out how to make use of the backup camera, blind spot sensor… forget it. Those features will surely help to keep me on the road longer, and I’m sure your generation is not having any issues using them.
I’m thinking the same thing for myself. I drive a 2011 Subaru Forester. It has none of the safety features my wife’s 2022 Prius has.
I recently drove a rental car on vacation in Yosemite National Park, with pretty much narrow 2-lane roads. The lane departure feature on the car was going off regularly and was quite annoying. I imagine on a long boring trip on an interstate highway it would be valuable if one gets distracted or tired.
That’s a good point. I’m mid-70s, still driving a 2007 Camry Hybrid, mostly because it only has 70,000 miles. However, I recently drove a rental, and loved the blind spot detector. My car doesn’t even have a back-up camera.
When my near 95-year-old mother totaled her car a few months ago, she reluctantly agreed not to replace it. She has adapted with the help of family and friends. Friends give her a ride to church, her best friend picks her up for a weekly lunch and library date. Grocery shopping is now exclusively done by a hired aide. Her hairdresser picks her up for the appointment. But, if she hadn’t lived in the same small town for nearly 75 years, it probably wouldn’t be happening. And most of the drivers are nearly 90 themselves. I’m just taking it a week at the time, ready to take the next step when she is.
The loss of that independence is scary. Uber/Lyft or taxis are an option for transportation. In my town, there are many walkers – – – but for exercise rather than to go to the grocery store. In the internet age there are services like Instacart, UberEats, Door Dash, and other delivery systems – none are perfect, but are better than nothing.
My Dad agreed to stop driving when he as 91. He had some help around the house to assist with transportation. I found that he had a near miss auto accident, followed by an argument in a parking lot. That’s when he agreed to stop. Then several months later I discovered he had recently begun driving again. He said “he was better now”. Two weeks later he passed away.
Not a day goes by I don’t think about this issue.
I am and 80 and my wife 85 today. She already drives on a very limited basis because of losing sight in one eye as a result of a foul ball at a little league game.
So far so good for me, perhaps as a result of me being a rally car driver decades ago, I like to drive and in the last couple of years have driven across the country a few times and to Florida each winter.
However, the risk is there. If I couldn’t drive or Connie was on her own, we would be in trouble. There is no place we could walk to for anything and public transportation is not an option.
Several towns nearby have senior transportation and take people food shopping – on their schedule.
We would have to rely on our children and friends and perhaps Uber.
The good news, if any, is we live in a 55 + condo community so social isolation would not be a big problem as there are activities all the time if we wanted them.
I kinda wish I didn’t start my day reading your article. 😢
Happy #85 to your better half!
Happy Birthday to Connie!
Please give Connie my best wishes for her birthday.
Thank you
Look for a Blue Zones Project community. After learning what was common about a small set of global places which had significantly more centenarians, Dan Buettner started a project to bring those changes to US communities where people were living significantly less time than average. The result? These towns are developing more walkable and bikable cores, among other changes.
https://info.bluezonesproject.com/results