FREE NEWSLETTER
Go to main Forum page »
Today marks the one-year anniversary of my retirement after a 35-year career as a university professor. Since I wrote it about it several times leading up to that day, and another one after six months, I thought I’d add some thoughts about the first year “out” has gone for me.
Overall, it’s been great. Maybe my biggest surprise has been how little I miss my job. My identity was so intertwined with my academic career for so long that I worried I’d have one of those loss-of-identity depression spirals that you read about.
Uh…nope. Not even close.
OK, probably the biggest surprise is that I’m writing this from a different home than the one I wrote from on January 1. As I’ve shared here, we had a whirlwind three months, March through May, in which we bought a new (to us) home, sold our condo, and moved in.
Because of basically three months being eaten up by buying/selling/moving, I didn’t make as much progress on some of my first-year goals as I might have otherwise. I did get most of my academic writing projects done (a handful more still in progress), I did some substantial volunteer work for our church, and I finished up my service on the HOA board at our former home. We had a fairly robust social calendar and are building new friendships; our new neighbors have been very welcoming, and we look forward to getting to know them, too. But I haven’t really deepened any hobbies (I still cook, I still work out, and I still write, but I wouldn’t say I’m any better at those than I was a year ago), nor have I explored volunteer work outside of our church yet.
Financially, once I got through a couple of glitches with receiving my pensions and the stress of rolling over funds from my 403B/457 to my IRA, things have gone smoothly. This next year will be more challenging, as my husband drops to 50% time on October 1 and our housing costs are higher than they were in our condo. But as I wrote before, we have a plan for that.
I think the most interesting thing about the year ahead is what will happen after I finish up my academic writing projects. How will I structure my time once I don’t need to be at the computer doing that? What new things will I try? I know this fall we’ll have renovations going on, and once that’s done, we will look for a puppy. But it all feels rather mysterious to me.
I had the first year planned like a military operation, but even then, there were unexpected developments. Now, I think I’ll just expect the unexpected! And maybe that’s where the real fun and adventure lies.
When I retired–5 years ago–I went right into full-time care-giving for my husband. He died two years ago, and it was about 9 mos-1 year after that that I felt like I was done with active grief work, and turned towards experiencing retirement. For others who might be on this kind of delay, I can only suggest giving yourself time to both grieve and recover, to not “should” yourself into a particular timetable, and then to be intentional as you start to get involved in making a new life. I have just moved halfway across the country, so I know I again need to take my time in creating a new retired life in a new location.
This is a great point. Not everyone gets to craft their “ideal” retirement because of family caregiving needs or even their own health issues. It’s a good reminder to be grateful for the good times.
I hope your move and your “new retired life in a new location” brings you opportunities and joy that you maybe can’t even imagine right now.
Thanks for posting from your one-year-in perspective. My own post-retirement schedule planning occupies a lot of my thinking space. Does any part of your busy schedule stem from a feeling that you need to be busy? Or from a long list of things that make you happier to be doing?
Interesting question, Ed. I wouldn’t say I have a need to be busy, but I do have a need to do something. After decades of being ridiculously overscheduled and overcommitted most of the time, I’m beyond tired of feeling that way. I want stuff to do but not TOO much.
Most of the stuff I’m doing now is because I want to, but I do struggle with not wanting to say no to people. I’ve always been that way, and now that I’m retired, people feel like they can ask for more of my time with some impunity. It’s nice to be valued, I guess, but it still requires some careful decision-making.
I understand wanting to do “something”. I may even need to do something. I’m working on time and commitment balance.
When I worked full-time, I was scheduled four long days per week, plus one Saturday per month. I was a little touchy when someone asked me to do something on my “off day”. I felt like my off day was just the sum of the late afternoons I worked the rest of the week. I still had a problem with no, but when I shifted to part-time, I also backed out of some other commitments. I must have sent a message that my time was off-limits, because I’m getting fewer requests for help.
As I said I’m thinking a lot about how to find a happy balance.
Same 💯
Congrats on your 1st anniversary on the far side of employed life. Sounds like you are getting plenty of the good stuff in.
Here’s one strategy if you like, to guard your time for yourself without saying “no” (works for me when I find “no” difficult but want to say it), This technique comes from former governor Jerry Brown, who instead of “No” (politicians are into saying “Yes”), would say “I don’t know…” Most people immediately unconsciously recognize “Thanks, but I don’t know if I can go to the rodeo with you on Saturday” as a soft/polite “no.” Takes a bit of practice but you have time to practice now, right?
Retirement’s been something of a wild ride for me, since I left earlier than expected to manage health and household responsibilities. Hard to believe this is my seventh year as a retiree.
I’ve treated retirement as a time to experiment with places and roles and activities and pastimes I never had opportunity to try when younger due to work/family constraints, so that’s been fresh and fulfilling. Making new friends in your new neighborhood will likely bring you much joy and satisfaction. Community volunteering in one way or another is also great.
I haven’t taken any OLLI classes yet but the suggestions in this thread have me looking at the university website and thinking about signing up. Public lectures (UC Davis for one hosts a boatload) on all sorts of topics I know nothing about is another idea.
The family dog loves that I am retired. He’s sure that’s the way dogs and people should be: together, most all the time.
That all sounds great, Catherine. And I agree with your dog. They sure do love their people!
not wanting to say no to people
For much of my earlier life I, too, struggled. I finally realized I needed to find a simple sentence that felt natural to me. I searched online for suggestions and found one that felt comfortable, kind, and not curt. Like strengthening a muscle with practice, I have become comfortable with turning down requests, offering an alternative solution if I can. The true value of getting better at saying no is that now I can say yes to something wholeheartedly.
Congrats, Dana, on completing year one!
I’ve gotten really good at saying something along the lines of “I can’t do that, but here’s what I can do…” I found that people were always grateful you weren’t just completely saying no and would take what they can get.
I am also saying “no” flat out, though. I still get requests to review journal articles and tenure/promotion files and to write chapters for edited collections. I say no to almost all of those now. I feel like it’s time for me to wind down. I also said “no” when my publisher asked me and my co-author to do a fifth edition of our book that’s been in print since 1998. Very flattering that people are still interested in it, but the fourth edition was a heavy lift because my co-author became ill and had to retire, and we can’t pull off another one.
Dana, it took a couple years for all the dust to settle around our retirements. Similar to you, that period included moving and tying up loose ends from my practice. Once things settled down I began preparing taxes for AARP, and Chrissy volunteered at a cat rescue. Our social calendar is as full as we want it to be.
It sounds like things will fall into place nicely for you as well.
Finally, when Mr. Dr Lefty releases a new album, be sure to give us all a link so that we can pick one up. I found him on Pandora, he’s really very good.
“Dust to settle” is a good way to put it, especially having just moved and planning a remodel. I’m getting my mind around the idea that this move means we’ve chosen some disruption of what was a comfortable life. Sometimes changing things up is good, though. But we’ll get back to calmer waters…eventually.
I will pass on your kind words to the Mr. With a planned reduction to 50% time this fall for him, hopefully new music will emerge!
What’s his name? I’ll look him up on Spotify.
Randy Ferris
Glad to hear it’s been a good year. One thing traveling taught me was the value of being able to come up with Plan B (or C, etc) at short notice. “Expect the unexpected” seems similar.
It’s much easier for me to deal with the “unexpected” since I retired. I told my husband that I probably would have never even considered our recent move if I’d still been working. It all happened fast, and I basically had to drop everything for three months and make it happen. I would have been too stressed out if I’d had to manage my job as well.
Thanks for the update, Dana. Despite my first year of retirement spent traveling, beginning with a trip to Southern Spain and Morocco the day after my last day of work, I often felt kind of lost, missing my job and work friends. The second year was better when I took a part time job as a clinical instructor that lasted for three semesters, until the move to our retirement home here in the Poconos. Seven years here and I’ve been very happy with volunteering at church and other organizations while shepherding the grandson through middle, high school and the first year of college. Life is good. I let my nursing license expire two months ago- no regrets.
That sounds like a lot! You remind me a bit of my mom. She “retired” from her career as a therapist and immediately signed up for a grand jury, which she did for two years. That’s practically a full-time job, and the second year, she was the chair/foreperson of the jury, which involved extra responsibilities.
I think my lack of “missing” work/friends comes from (a) the pandemic had already changed things–I didn’t see people on campus/at the office as much as before and (b) we still live here, and I can get together with former colleagues for lunch, coffee, or a walk anytime I want to. But as I said, I am a bit surprised that I don’t miss teaching more. I am on the teaching team for a women’s Bible study at our church and gave 4-5 talks this past year there, so maybe that’s satisfying that need. I also wrote curriculum (discussion guides) for the church’s Life Group ministry (small group Bible studies).
Sounds like you are keeping your academic hand in, in the service of your church. It’s so rewarding when we can transfer our skills to something more rewarding than money.
Happy retirement anniversary, Dana! What struck me most was your comment about not missing your job as much as you expected. So many people worry that retirement means losing part of their identity, yet you’ve shown that it can also be an opportunity to discover new parts of ourselves.
It also seems you’ve accomplished more than you give yourself credit for. Buying and selling a home, moving, volunteering, maintaining friendships, and navigating the financial transition would make for a full year by anyone’s standards. I especially liked your closing thought—expecting the unexpected. Sometimes the best parts of retirement aren’t the ones we plan, but the ones we never saw coming. Wishing you many more happy surprises in year two.
Thank you, Andrew! Yes, it definitely was a busy year. Part of that was intentional. I’m not one who sits around, and I knew that if I didn’t have stuff to do planned, it would be a rough transition. Still, the (somewhat) unexpected move definitely added some stress, time-wise, but I think it’s going to be worth it.
I’m trying to go into the second year with curiosity and openness…
Good to know, Dana, that you are having a great retirement. With health and resources, what a wonderful life stage it can be!
I, like you, retired from a full-on academic career and identity. I haven’t looked back. My days now belong to volunteering, exercise, nature, a (very) part-time job, and afternoons of making art. The latter occupies my thoughts much of the time and always involves learning and problem solving. Those in turn contribute to a sense of purpose and enjoyment. In your year ahead, be open to what could do that for you.
That sounds awesome! I admire “afternoons of making art.” That is definitely not in my own gift mix. If I do something of a creative nature, it will almost certainly involve writing. I write a lot now–academic papers, here, and my weekly column for a baseball website–but there could be something more there for me.
I’ve also thought about putting some energy into promoting my husband’s music. He’s a good singer and an excellent songwriter who’s recorded six albums, four of which are up on streaming platforms. But he’s never been much interested in the promotion side. He wouldn’t mind if I took it on, though.
I can vouch that putting some energy into promoting your husband’s creative endeavors could be a win-win. I’ve been doing that for my husband’s book-writing career and here are the pluses: it’s invigorating to put your time into something that you really believe in; it’s bonding to work as a team with your spouse; it’s motivating for him to know he has a partner thinking about his music business as much as he does; it’s self-affirming to learn a bunch of new skills (there’s tons of free info online about creative—and inexpensive—ways to promote and market. They just take focus and your time, which you have now); and, last and sort of least, maybe it’ll bring in a little more “fun money” for eating out or travel.
I hope you put it on your Things to Do in Retirement list and let us know how that goes. Good luck!
Sorry, Laura, I just saw this! I love what you said about the benefits of supporting a spouse’s creative endeavors! It’s definitely on the list of things I want to think about and try out!
Incidentally, today July 2nd would be our last day at work (both me and my lovely wife). July 1981, 45 years ago, we left Viet Nam with nothing but a dream of America. After 41 years career in computer software industry, we are retiring on the same day. A long way from young kids that came to this country with nothing but a dream. Best to America. Best to all people in this world.
Welcome to retirement, and congratulations. I hope you enjoy it at least as much as I have.
Hung, I sure agree with Mike’s comment below. I appreciate your intelligent and well thought out contributions to this space.
Congratulations! All the best!
Mazel tov, Hung, and thank you for coming to America. You and your wife have made this a better country for all of us.
Wow, congratulations on your retirements and on the 45-year milestone. That’s amazing. May the years ahead offer much joy and rest.
What a wonderful story, Hung. Congratulations to you and your wife on your retirement. Arriving in America with little more than hope and a dream, then building successful careers together over the next four decades, is something to be immensely proud of. Wishing you both good health, happiness, and many memorable adventures in this next chapter. Enjoy every minute, you’ve certainly earned it.
Congratulations, Hung! I hope you will share more of your story of the years since July 1981. But even more, I hope you and your wife do something special to celebrate your “together” retirement 😊
Bravo on a great transition and thanks for the cool narrative/ summary. As a retired academic, maybe you could consider taking classes in subjects that interest you rather than what you taught.
I will be entering my 5th semester this fall of taking classes (audit/ non-matriculated basis) at a NJ state college under the NJ Senior Citizen Learning program. This underutilized (and not very well publicized) program allows seniors, age 65 and over to take up to 6 credits a semester tuition- free (we do pay some fees). I can enroll in any class on a space available basis on the first day of classes so we don’t take a spot for students who need the credits. Last semester I took a film class. Prior semesters I took Jazz, current political subjects and communications classes.
I really enjoy taking on-campus classes with current students and engaging in discussions and learning with them and the professors in subjects of interest rather than what I needed for my major. You should see if your state has a similar program.
Best of luck in year 2!
That’s a great suggestion. Our campus has OLLI as an option, and as a retiree, I get free campus parking (although our new home is now a nice stroll from campus, so weather permitting, I’d probably just walk it). The Davis Senior Center has some programming, and UC Davis has a retiree center. I get the emails but haven’t gone to anything yet.
I’ve also thought about Great Courses online. Definitely doing some kind of lifelong learning options would be a good fit for me and good for my brain.
Highly recommend Great Courses. I have had a subscription to Great Courses Plus since just before Covid, which lets me watch any of the courses at any time.
Or another idea: My brother in law taught AP history at American international school for the last 20ish years of his career, now intermittently teaches classes for adults at a small community college. He loves that the adult students want to be there.
I definitely could still get a teaching job(s) if I want one–not only do I have experience teaching, but I can teach online. Obviously I had to learn to do so quickly during the pandemic, but after that, I took some training and taught some online classes on purpose, not just as an emergency. While I still prefer being in a classroom, meeting with students over Zoom one-on-one to discuss their writing (you can put it up on the screen) was very satisfying. I suppose I could edit, too–I was editor-in-chief of two journals along the way…
I’m not sure I want a part-time job, but we’ll see. (And there’s always my pipe dream of working at Trader Joe’s or being an usher at Scottsdale Stadium during baseball spring training…)
My brother in law enjoys teaching adults who have a definite interest in learning, thus he doesn’t even feel like he’s working.
The six most important words in this post: “we have a plan for that”.
That’s kind of how I roll, probably to a fault. I’m always horrified by the stories of travelers who (for example) don’t book their lodging/activities/meals in advance and just figure it out along the way. I get how that could be very adventurous, but I’m too anxious for that.
Dana, Interesting to read another class of 2025 member’s experience. My hobbies haven’t changed much since retirement, but they’ve certainly claimed more territory — and shifted hours: evenings used to be prime time, now it’s mornings and afternoons that get the good stuff. These days I’m perfectly happy pottering about the house or garden once evening rolls around, rather than heading out the door for whatever’s on.
Fifteen months in, and my greatest luxury remains gloriously simple: lingering over an extra coffee in the morning, or pushing bedtime back an hour just because I can. Small indulgences, still delightful every time.
Good luck with year two!
Mark, the “extra coffee” and “pushing bedtime back an hour” are probably my two favorite things, also. I’ve happily done both of those things many times this past year. Before that, it was “I need to put the book down/turn off the TV and get to sleep so I can get up early, have my ONE coffee, work out, and get to my desk by ___ o’clock.”
Like Dick Quinn has said, maybe my happiest days are the ones where I wake up and realize I have nothing in particular on the calendar. The day’s all mine. I wouldn’t want all of them to be that way, but I definitely want some of them to be.