AUTHOR: Catherine on 6/19/2026 FIRST: Dan Smith on 6/19 | RECENT: Catherine on 6/21
Comments
It's been seven years since my spouse died unexpectedly. I would agree that there is a time when a widow(er) is most "financially vulnerable", and it can last much longer than one might imagine. The first (and only) hard discussion for us came a decade earlier, as we each anticipated the ever-rarer workplace pension. To establish a 100% survivor's benefit required a notable reduction in benefit, with smaller hits for a 75% or 50% survivor's benefit. We agreed to each offer the other a half pension. My spouse retired early and took the hit for a 50% survivor's benefit. When I started my pension, I took a similar hit. So, when he died, instead of our family losing his whole pension, we lost half. Having half has helped, since the expenses for our family barely budged (house costs the same plus inflation, college for kids costs the same plus inflation, etc.) My Social Security benefit based on my own earnings record exceeded what I would have got as a spousal benefit (not always the case) so becoming a widow made no change to that beyond no "who files first" decision to let my calculated benefit ride and build 8% a year to age 70 while still collecting something off his record (he collected Railroad Retirement not Social Security, complicating matters around survivor's annuities and distinctions between these two retirement systems.) To me, a 50% survivor's benefit is more valuable than any lump-sum term life insurance policy, as one's thinking can be muddled in early widowhood. A lump sum can be misspent easily, while an annuity/pension trickles along and mistakes can be made and corrected without derailing one's financial future. To the degree that younger workers contribute to Roth IRAs instead of traditional IRAs, more women are collecting off their own employment history, and traditional pensions cover a decreasing segment of the workforce, some elements of the so-called widow's penalty vanish. IRMAA bracket compression is still tricky, as cliff brackets mean a single extra MAGI dollar at the margin can bump the premium up $120 a month. But that only happens if one is retiring with more income than three-quarters of the population, so plenty okay enough already in most people's thinking. The Bernstein piece Michael1 linked also includes this great line: "the actual U.S. income tax structure is a hot mess". There isn't one-size-fits-all advice for those worried about the possible future life of their widow(er). Best to make the most of each day you are a couple, and be grateful for the chance to share this moment with someone you love and who loves you. The fourth to do in the Kiplinger article is not advice to widow(er)s per se. Everyone needs to "keep the portfolio working", that is, recognize that some people live longer. In fact, once widowed, the planning horizon decreases. One of two people will more likely live past 90 than any particular person. This can be seen in the IRS's own Life Tables I and II: 19.6 more years for a single 69 year old, but 24.3 more years for one of two persons, both aged 69 today. https://www.irs.gov/publications/p590b#en_US_2025_publink100090290 Some might decide we therefore need more TIPS, a higher allocation to equities, more money in total, there are so many suggested strategies for this dilemma, less necessary for the shorter retirement horizon of the widow(er).
Some years back, I sent my kids to just such summer short courses (albeit at the local state university). One I was enthusiastic about was a class on how money works, and included a piece from the Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia on Benjamin Franklin and fiat currency. https://www.philadelphiafed.org/-/media/FRBP/Assets/Institutional/Education/Publications/benjamin-franklin-and-paper-money-economy.pdf, also https://fraser.stlouisfed.org/title/learning-resource-benjamin-franklin-birth-a-paper-money-economy-5959/booklet-benjamin-franklin-birth-a-paper-money-economy-579702 I enjoyed the class's readings much more than the kids did. They preferred their cartooning and photography choices (a course on Latinate roots in language and a marketing course were other favorites.) Now I think I recognize why my suggested course choice fell short, when I recently re-listened to Jonathan's 2023 interview on the Long View:
https://www.morningstar.com/podcasts/the-long-view/jonathan-clements-humility-is-hallmark-people-who-are-financially-successful Among dozens of offhand gems among his comments, Jonathan describes a problem with well-meaning efforts to include personal financial education in high school curriculum. He felt the information would be coming too soon. Instead, he felt young adults needed "just in time" financial literacy. That is, a slow learning as we go along in life, especially prior to points where we are making important decisions that could have positive (or negative) long term impacts. As we sign student loan documents, or start a job, or buy a house. The lessons at those times are more likely to be "sticky". The striking point about your list is its slow learning nature. It takes a long time to "see" investments grow by compounding or buy-and-holding through market volatility. Same with the value of regular exercise (likewise routine visits to doctors and dentists). Cultivating friendships. Being a dependable worker and likable co-worker. Human beings best learn slow and steady. Even though as a parent I wanted to provide my kids with all the tools they'd need to do well by age 18, it's not possible. They have to get to work, start with the bumps and jostle of living the lives they are choosing. While some problems and troubles can't be avoided, my kids can learn, slowly, to make the most of what they've got. Sure hope that's good enough.
I'm in my third year of part-year residence in the southern Arizona desert in a 55+ community. I've learned so much from my neighbors and travelers passing through. Since it's an "RV resort" and not strictly/solely a mobile home park, we have many younger oldsters (who are still in the go-go years of early retirement) as well as some very old. It's still a toe-in-the-water exercise for me, while my brother and his wife have lived here full-time since 2019. There is a fair amount of turnover in unit ownership. Among the reasons I've seen:
Ready to go somewhere else. Time's a wastin' and the world is a fun and interesting place to explore.
Need to move closer to a family member who is facing challenges for which the person currently here is a good choice to manage.
Trading up to a bigger/better/newer place that they will own, instead of rent (often within a mile or two from here and these people usually come back for holiday parties and pot lucks)
New girlfriend and moving in with her elsewhere (this seems to be mostly a gentleman's motive).
Sickness in one spouse that is more than the other spouse can handle on their own here.
Switching fulltime to their other home (in a northern or rainy state) instead of maintaining the second place, an ersatz fishing cabin in the desert, simplifying their lives. (Some switch to fulltime here.)
Annoyance with large rent increases, based on revenue maximizing software used by latest park ownership, it seems. Enough already!
And, yes, a few have died. I have rarely been around so many people who value good times with one another. Maybe it's the nature of the RV lifestyle? Don't know exactly why. Also, because we are not so young, everyone keeps a watch out for everyone else. Which is great for a single person. Also, I've met more than one couple who are barely 55 and moved here full-time. Because it's a less unaffordable choice and the park comes with better community amenities. Excited to hit 55 and be eligible to buy a unit. Can you imagine?
Congrats on your 1st anniversary on the far side of employed life. Sounds like you are getting plenty of the good stuff in. Here's one strategy if you like, to guard your time for yourself without saying "no" (works for me when I find "no" difficult but want to say it), This technique comes from former governor Jerry Brown, who instead of "No" (politicians are into saying "Yes"), would say "I don't know..." Most people immediately unconsciously recognize "Thanks, but I don't know if I can go to the rodeo with you on Saturday" as a soft/polite "no." Takes a bit of practice but you have time to practice now, right? Retirement's been something of a wild ride for me, since I left earlier than expected to manage health and household responsibilities. Hard to believe this is my seventh year as a retiree. I've treated retirement as a time to experiment with places and roles and activities and pastimes I never had opportunity to try when younger due to work/family constraints, so that's been fresh and fulfilling. Making new friends in your new neighborhood will likely bring you much joy and satisfaction. Community volunteering in one way or another is also great. I haven't taken any OLLI classes yet but the suggestions in this thread have me looking at the university website and thinking about signing up. Public lectures (UC Davis for one hosts a boatload) on all sorts of topics I know nothing about is another idea. The family dog loves that I am retired. He's sure that's the way dogs and people should be: together, most all the time.
Thanks for your comment. Learning to listen better to my inner voice has been essential to retirement. As "experts" frequently offer seemingly contradictory guidance.
Having access to funds (even at a loss) might be all we need for most household emergencies. I've also seen reference to use of credit cards for a very short term cash flow problem. A few weeks to stretch out invoices payments can help.
Thanks for you thoughtful comments. It's been worth the mild angst of the slow rebuild of accounts to also have the pleasure of being debt free. "Good enough" is my preference, not perfect, not even optimal.
Thanks for this assessment after your eight years in your "new" place. You might remember I'm spending half the year in my "tin can casita" on a rented lot in an over-55 RV resort in the Sonoran desert, where my brother and sister-in-law moved outright circa 2019. I've made great new friends, year-rounders and snowbirds. My "new" place is way smaller than the big house which I have yet to sell as my kids move in and out from time to time. So I haven't cut my costs at all, yet. But the new place is pretty cheap and lots of fun. Several older couples in my old neighborhood have considered downsizing nearby. However, in seeking smaller homes, they compete directly with young families looking to buy their first homes. As a result, the prices of the small places are hardly lower than the larger "forever" homes. After prep costs to put a house on the market, and realtor fees, most figure they won't save any money in a move. As a result, many retirees are stuck with too much house, it seems, for now.
Thanks for your comments and the list of what gets looked at for retirees seeking a HELOC. Useful for more than just me, though I seem to recollect one good time to set up a HELOC is shortly before retirement.t
thanks for your comment.
I like the idea of one or two (or more) years of cash.
seems like a straightforward calculation and might be. yet my cash needs have varied year to year with three college-aged kids. I have a fair amount of secure income and so focus my one or two (or more) years calculation on the somewhat discretionary expenses that exceed my fixed and covered expenses. not sure if others calculate that similarly. maybe my strategy misses the mark somewhat due to variabily associated
with a moderate amount of ongoing if declining support for young adults.
Comments
It's been seven years since my spouse died unexpectedly. I would agree that there is a time when a widow(er) is most "financially vulnerable", and it can last much longer than one might imagine. The first (and only) hard discussion for us came a decade earlier, as we each anticipated the ever-rarer workplace pension. To establish a 100% survivor's benefit required a notable reduction in benefit, with smaller hits for a 75% or 50% survivor's benefit. We agreed to each offer the other a half pension. My spouse retired early and took the hit for a 50% survivor's benefit. When I started my pension, I took a similar hit. So, when he died, instead of our family losing his whole pension, we lost half. Having half has helped, since the expenses for our family barely budged (house costs the same plus inflation, college for kids costs the same plus inflation, etc.) My Social Security benefit based on my own earnings record exceeded what I would have got as a spousal benefit (not always the case) so becoming a widow made no change to that beyond no "who files first" decision to let my calculated benefit ride and build 8% a year to age 70 while still collecting something off his record (he collected Railroad Retirement not Social Security, complicating matters around survivor's annuities and distinctions between these two retirement systems.) To me, a 50% survivor's benefit is more valuable than any lump-sum term life insurance policy, as one's thinking can be muddled in early widowhood. A lump sum can be misspent easily, while an annuity/pension trickles along and mistakes can be made and corrected without derailing one's financial future. To the degree that younger workers contribute to Roth IRAs instead of traditional IRAs, more women are collecting off their own employment history, and traditional pensions cover a decreasing segment of the workforce, some elements of the so-called widow's penalty vanish. IRMAA bracket compression is still tricky, as cliff brackets mean a single extra MAGI dollar at the margin can bump the premium up $120 a month. But that only happens if one is retiring with more income than three-quarters of the population, so plenty okay enough already in most people's thinking. The Bernstein piece Michael1 linked also includes this great line: "the actual U.S. income tax structure is a hot mess". There isn't one-size-fits-all advice for those worried about the possible future life of their widow(er). Best to make the most of each day you are a couple, and be grateful for the chance to share this moment with someone you love and who loves you. The fourth to do in the Kiplinger article is not advice to widow(er)s per se. Everyone needs to "keep the portfolio working", that is, recognize that some people live longer. In fact, once widowed, the planning horizon decreases. One of two people will more likely live past 90 than any particular person. This can be seen in the IRS's own Life Tables I and II: 19.6 more years for a single 69 year old, but 24.3 more years for one of two persons, both aged 69 today. https://www.irs.gov/publications/p590b#en_US_2025_publink100090290 Some might decide we therefore need more TIPS, a higher allocation to equities, more money in total, there are so many suggested strategies for this dilemma, less necessary for the shorter retirement horizon of the widow(er).
Post: Will Your Death Double Your Spouse’s Tax Bill?
Link to comment from July 21, 2026
Some years back, I sent my kids to just such summer short courses (albeit at the local state university). One I was enthusiastic about was a class on how money works, and included a piece from the Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia on Benjamin Franklin and fiat currency. https://www.philadelphiafed.org/-/media/FRBP/Assets/Institutional/Education/Publications/benjamin-franklin-and-paper-money-economy.pdf, also https://fraser.stlouisfed.org/title/learning-resource-benjamin-franklin-birth-a-paper-money-economy-5959/booklet-benjamin-franklin-birth-a-paper-money-economy-579702 I enjoyed the class's readings much more than the kids did. They preferred their cartooning and photography choices (a course on Latinate roots in language and a marketing course were other favorites.) Now I think I recognize why my suggested course choice fell short, when I recently re-listened to Jonathan's 2023 interview on the Long View: https://www.morningstar.com/podcasts/the-long-view/jonathan-clements-humility-is-hallmark-people-who-are-financially-successful Among dozens of offhand gems among his comments, Jonathan describes a problem with well-meaning efforts to include personal financial education in high school curriculum. He felt the information would be coming too soon. Instead, he felt young adults needed "just in time" financial literacy. That is, a slow learning as we go along in life, especially prior to points where we are making important decisions that could have positive (or negative) long term impacts. As we sign student loan documents, or start a job, or buy a house. The lessons at those times are more likely to be "sticky". The striking point about your list is its slow learning nature. It takes a long time to "see" investments grow by compounding or buy-and-holding through market volatility. Same with the value of regular exercise (likewise routine visits to doctors and dentists). Cultivating friendships. Being a dependable worker and likable co-worker. Human beings best learn slow and steady. Even though as a parent I wanted to provide my kids with all the tools they'd need to do well by age 18, it's not possible. They have to get to work, start with the bumps and jostle of living the lives they are choosing. While some problems and troubles can't be avoided, my kids can learn, slowly, to make the most of what they've got. Sure hope that's good enough.
Post: Lessons on the Ground
Link to comment from July 21, 2026
I'm in my third year of part-year residence in the southern Arizona desert in a 55+ community. I've learned so much from my neighbors and travelers passing through. Since it's an "RV resort" and not strictly/solely a mobile home park, we have many younger oldsters (who are still in the go-go years of early retirement) as well as some very old. It's still a toe-in-the-water exercise for me, while my brother and his wife have lived here full-time since 2019. There is a fair amount of turnover in unit ownership. Among the reasons I've seen: Ready to go somewhere else. Time's a wastin' and the world is a fun and interesting place to explore. Need to move closer to a family member who is facing challenges for which the person currently here is a good choice to manage. Trading up to a bigger/better/newer place that they will own, instead of rent (often within a mile or two from here and these people usually come back for holiday parties and pot lucks) New girlfriend and moving in with her elsewhere (this seems to be mostly a gentleman's motive). Sickness in one spouse that is more than the other spouse can handle on their own here. Switching fulltime to their other home (in a northern or rainy state) instead of maintaining the second place, an ersatz fishing cabin in the desert, simplifying their lives. (Some switch to fulltime here.) Annoyance with large rent increases, based on revenue maximizing software used by latest park ownership, it seems. Enough already! And, yes, a few have died. I have rarely been around so many people who value good times with one another. Maybe it's the nature of the RV lifestyle? Don't know exactly why. Also, because we are not so young, everyone keeps a watch out for everyone else. Which is great for a single person. Also, I've met more than one couple who are barely 55 and moved here full-time. Because it's a less unaffordable choice and the park comes with better community amenities. Excited to hit 55 and be eligible to buy a unit. Can you imagine?
Post: Thinking about downsizing? Think seriously
Link to comment from July 3, 2026
Congrats on your 1st anniversary on the far side of employed life. Sounds like you are getting plenty of the good stuff in. Here's one strategy if you like, to guard your time for yourself without saying "no" (works for me when I find "no" difficult but want to say it), This technique comes from former governor Jerry Brown, who instead of "No" (politicians are into saying "Yes"), would say "I don't know..." Most people immediately unconsciously recognize "Thanks, but I don't know if I can go to the rodeo with you on Saturday" as a soft/polite "no." Takes a bit of practice but you have time to practice now, right? Retirement's been something of a wild ride for me, since I left earlier than expected to manage health and household responsibilities. Hard to believe this is my seventh year as a retiree. I've treated retirement as a time to experiment with places and roles and activities and pastimes I never had opportunity to try when younger due to work/family constraints, so that's been fresh and fulfilling. Making new friends in your new neighborhood will likely bring you much joy and satisfaction. Community volunteering in one way or another is also great. I haven't taken any OLLI classes yet but the suggestions in this thread have me looking at the university website and thinking about signing up. Public lectures (UC Davis for one hosts a boatload) on all sorts of topics I know nothing about is another idea. The family dog loves that I am retired. He's sure that's the way dogs and people should be: together, most all the time.
Post: Retirement, One Year On
Link to comment from July 3, 2026
Thanks for your comment. Learning to listen better to my inner voice has been essential to retirement. As "experts" frequently offer seemingly contradictory guidance.
Post: Leverage
Link to comment from June 21, 2026
Having access to funds (even at a loss) might be all we need for most household emergencies. I've also seen reference to use of credit cards for a very short term cash flow problem. A few weeks to stretch out invoices payments can help.
Post: Leverage
Link to comment from June 21, 2026
Thanks for you thoughtful comments. It's been worth the mild angst of the slow rebuild of accounts to also have the pleasure of being debt free. "Good enough" is my preference, not perfect, not even optimal.
Post: Leverage
Link to comment from June 21, 2026
Thanks for this assessment after your eight years in your "new" place. You might remember I'm spending half the year in my "tin can casita" on a rented lot in an over-55 RV resort in the Sonoran desert, where my brother and sister-in-law moved outright circa 2019. I've made great new friends, year-rounders and snowbirds. My "new" place is way smaller than the big house which I have yet to sell as my kids move in and out from time to time. So I haven't cut my costs at all, yet. But the new place is pretty cheap and lots of fun. Several older couples in my old neighborhood have considered downsizing nearby. However, in seeking smaller homes, they compete directly with young families looking to buy their first homes. As a result, the prices of the small places are hardly lower than the larger "forever" homes. After prep costs to put a house on the market, and realtor fees, most figure they won't save any money in a move. As a result, many retirees are stuck with too much house, it seems, for now.
Post: Thinking about downsizing? Think seriously
Link to comment from June 21, 2026
Thanks for your comments and the list of what gets looked at for retirees seeking a HELOC. Useful for more than just me, though I seem to recollect one good time to set up a HELOC is shortly before retirement.t
Post: Leverage
Link to comment from June 20, 2026
thanks for your comment. I like the idea of one or two (or more) years of cash. seems like a straightforward calculation and might be. yet my cash needs have varied year to year with three college-aged kids. I have a fair amount of secure income and so focus my one or two (or more) years calculation on the somewhat discretionary expenses that exceed my fixed and covered expenses. not sure if others calculate that similarly. maybe my strategy misses the mark somewhat due to variabily associated with a moderate amount of ongoing if declining support for young adults.
Post: Leverage
Link to comment from June 20, 2026