For context, I am 65, retired for seven years, married and have children and grandchildren. The lists below are based on my specific life details. I know items on your lists may be different, but I’d love to hear about them to learn from your experience.
Things I Am Doing Now As Compared To When I Was Younger
- Learning to splurge a little more (as I am able)
- Flying instead of driving
- Using an Uber (versus park at the airport or ask someone for a ride)
- Making larger financial gifts to loved ones (now instead of later)
- Paying for meals at restaurants for our adult children and their families
- Saving for the educational expense of grandchildren
- Answering questions as the Identified go to person in my family for financial matters
- Participating more at the local senior center I recently became a member. Started by taking yoga classes
- Getting to better know my increasing cadre of doctors
- Considering a move to a new location and home for the first time in 40 years
- Reflecting on the life that I have lived, and how I want to spend the time I have left
Things That I Have Noticed That Remind Me I Am No Longer Young
- Attending more tribute and legacy acts of favorite musical performers
- Hearing what was once edgy, contemporary music (from the 60s and 70s) categorized as oldies and playing in elevators, stores and restaurants (it’s really funny to hear something like a Led Zeppelin tune playing in a restaurant)
- Being unable sometimes to open a new jar of pickles. An under the counter jar opener is a great investment
- Needing to work harder at getting the amount of sleep I’d like to have, despite having no shortage of time
- Appreciating the daily activities of life for both pleasure and for their health benefit
Things I Need To Do Or Am Working Towards
- Get my estate documents redone
- Investigate Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRC)
- Pre-purchase and coordinate cremation arrangements
- Receive more dog kisses
- Kiss my wife more (after wiping off the puppy slobber)
- Give thanks for each day and all that I have been blessed with in life
Things I Plan To Delegate When They No Longer Remain Fun Or Doable:
- Hire someone else to take care of our yard
- Hire someone else to clean out the gutters (so I don’t fall off the roof and kill myself)
- Get a “Full Self Driving” vehicle that can safely chauffeur us around
- Turn over management of our financial dealings to one of our children or hired trusted advocate
What things are you finding yourself doing or experiencing more, as your seasons of life progress?
Which are you enjoying?
What challenges are you experiencing, and have you found any solutions to help deal with them?
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Thanks everyone for all of your wonderful comments and ideas.
You’ve provided plenty of great advice on how to better grow old. It doesn’t sound all that bad after all.
And some of these ideas were even tangentially related to financial matters 😉
I actually like to shovel snow. I know, sick, right? Even though the HOA does a lousy job, I don’t shovel because I know there is a physical hazard that comes with being 73, and working hard in sub-freezing temperatures.
I don’t shave every day either, though I have to be extra careful smooching with Chrissy on my off days. Chrissy is a delicate flower.
I still wash my hair every day, but often forget to run a brush through it. Last time I went for a haircut, my barber had to cut out a mat. I now have something in common with Sophie the wonder cat. My barber, who first cut my hair in 1972 at barber college, got a good laugh out of that.
I didn’t used to scare myself when looking at my reflection in a mirror.
Back when the ElderBeerMen were just the beer men, we never talked of high cholesterol and recent PSA test results.
I used to wonder if I would ever suffer a mid-life crisis. Now I’m sad because it seems I’ve missed my chance.
These days I’m in bed around the same time I used to be heading out for a night on the town.
Does anyone say ‘night on the town’ any longer?
I didn’t used to scare myself when looking at my reflection in a mirror.
Ha! For me it was this: I’d had cataracts developing for over a decade. Looking in the mirror the morning after the first surgery, I was shocked to see I’d aged ten years! On a financial note, thanks to Medicare and Medigap G, no out-of-pocket cost for that shock beyond the monthly premiums.
Willie Nelson has a new album being released soon. In one song he sings about not recognizing the image looking back at him from the mirror. This will probably be his final album, I’m looking forward to hearing the entire thing.
And bravo to Medicare and plan G! One of my friends was complaining about paying several thousand dollars for a procedure. I didn’t ask, but I’m sure he has a Medicare Advantage plan. Like I said, I just kept my mouth shut.
Here’s one, since we’re getting ready to move: No more U-Hauls and asking friends to help us move for pizza and beer. We did that more than a few times when we were younger, but we’re too old for that, and so are our friends. I just got an estimate from the mover today and will happily pay the price!
When we moved to Arizona in 2022, we did it via U-Hauls. Thankfully we aren’t ‘accumulators’ so one trailer and two of their ‘pods’ was all we needed. But that was plenty. I vowed at that point we would pay someone if we ever moved again.
We downsized substantially when we moved to our condo in 2019, so there’s not that much “stuff,” but the condo is on the top floor, so moving requires elevator trips and disassembly and reassembly. Definitely leaving this one to the younger, stronger professionals!
We were fortunate to be moving from a single level home to another single level home. I’m definitely done moving things up and down stairs!
Excellent post.
“There is no luggage rack on a hearse.”
Note: I’m 69 and last year I ordered some gutter guards on Amazon . They were easy to install. Saved me from going up and down on the ladder every autumn.
I do some part-time work for a local funeral home and will have to remember that “no luggage rack on a hearse” comment!
We all have an expiration date. My aim is to extend mine—and help extend others’. I exercise daily, read and write to stay sharp, and regularly donate blood and platelets to give life to others.
KISS—keeping it simple.
Well done William – Wish I could still donate blood. I’m in the gym or on the treadmill 7 days a week. Movement is life. Stretch that lifespan brother!
Thanks for posting this, Doug. Brilliant idea. I’ve taken it on as a priority assignment, which means using it as an excuse to get to the gym a little later this morning.
10 things I’m doing more as an old guy:
1. Making it a point to savor something about every day. Being the first male in my family to reach age 70 – after beating Stage 4 cancer – demands proper appreciation and gratitude for the little stuff.
2. Smiling. I realize I’ve looked serious most of my life, even though I didn’t feel that way. Now I make it a point to smile at everybody. (Now if I could only make it a little less creepy.)
3. Uber, definitely Uber, and riding the ferryboat even when driving would be faster. I HATE looking for parking.
4. Giving back. Meals on Wheels and other charitable time make me feel so good.
5. Reading histories and biographies. What happened before is terrific perspective on what I’m experiencing now.
6. Singing better. My interest in music is entirely participatory, and after a lifetime of just belting or crooning, I’m now in a barbershop chorus where proper technique is emphasized. Cool.
7. Being avuncular. I have a new role as an oracle for my nephew and other young relatives, and I love it.
8. Laughing more when I referee soccer. I was known as an authoritative ref. Took me this long to realize I have to give out fewer cards when I keep things humorous. Works for life in general.
9. Punching it up in the gym. And flexing in the mirror. And bragging about it to my wife.
10. Lying about my age, to the upside. I’m only 69 but I tell everyone I’m 70 because it feels like such an achievement. (And in the Chinese culture that dominates my household, I’m 70 anyway.)
10 things I am trying to stop doing, with varying success:
1. Losing my temper. This is a huge one, and my greatest success. When I need to vent, I do it where nobody can hear me. And I haven’t punched anybody since I was 57. (Yeah, yeah, I know…)
2. Complaining. My type 1 diabetes and heel tendinitis are daily frustrations if I allow them to be, but I work on not whining about them.
3. Feeling guilty about my failures in eating healthy. That ice cream bar may represent a character flaw, but it’s not gonna kill me.
4. Worrying about money. (Good luck with that one right now…)
5. Getting upset about politics. (Good luck with that one right now…)
6. Driving too fast. So what if I get there a minute or two later?
7. Obsessing about my roses. They’re fine. No, they don’t need more mulch.
8. Wondering if every new pain is the cancer coming back. It isn’t. You’re fine. Chill, dude. (Another major success… less worry every year.)
9. Feeling left out because I don’t like pickleball. I know so many seniors who love it, but I just hate that sound.
10. Feeling urgency about the last lap of my life. If I get to Ireland, great, but it feels more and more OK if I don’t.
And now, after a pre-scheduled tummy rub for the dog, I’m off to the gym.
Like your list Doug. You and I have a lot in common, it seems.
We are 8 years older than you and have been retired for nearly 8 years. I have found that writing down important goals is smart. For me, its otherwise too easy to forget or procrastinate. You mentioned yoga and daily activities. We started regular weight training and walking since retiring. Youtube videos show people my age lifting massive amounts of weight, and I think its amazing they can do that. My goals are more prosaic, like being able to: get down on the floor with grandkids, and then back up again without assistance, easily arising from a low stool or bench, take the stairs, lift and carry moderately heavy loads.
One thing I really enjoy in retirement is no longer being in a hurry. What a luxury that feels like! Ever go for a drive and watch how everyone around you is driving? Its almost as though most of them are running late and are rushing to get to their destinations.
“Pre-purchase and coordinate cremation arrangements”
Will people explain to me the advantages of doing so other than cost?
We did this for my disabled brother because it was required when applying for Medicaid.
The major supplier of this service in NH (shows you how small the state is) will only pick up the remains in the state for free if they are in the state. Because of this restriction I have decided not to pull the trigger on this until we have decided on join a CCRC as at that point we are committed to living out the rest of our lives in that location.
Until the I figure whomever is left will make a call with the assistance of the medical facility and pay whatever the cost as we can afford it.
By the way, the name of the service my parents used was National Cremation.
Unfortunately, it does not look like they are active in New Hampshire.
The reason I listed this is because my parents did it. And it made making arrangements much easier on the day of their death. I really appreciate their forethought and also want to do whatever I can to streamline what is involved for whoever is taking care of things after I die.
I was the person who took care of everything after each of my parents died. I lived nearby and arrived at their home within minutes of their passing.
Since all of this had been prearranged (and they had told me about that years in advance at is was one of the things on their list to do when they passed) all I had to do when ready was to make one call and a funeral director came by within a short period of time and took care of my parents body.
This is not for everyone, but it worked for us.
I turn 65 in 2 weeks. Retired 7 months ago.
Things I am now doing now:
1) feeling grateful for every day on this earth. My family is not long-lived. I have been so lucky.
1a) taking nothing for granted. A spring breeze. My beloved dog in my lap.
2) indulging my curiosities: I am reading furiously about history.
3) gardening
4) helping my in-town kid more, doing minor errands for her so that her day will be easier. Why not? I have plenty of time.
5) thinking about flying first class. Haven’t pulled the trigger yet.
6) practicing letting go of anxieties about minor spending shocks – you know, the dentist, the vet, the plumber, the transmission.
7) seeing an array of doctors. (and I am a now retired doctor)
8) fighting the pull of nostalgia and being present for today
9) cooking more, healthier food.
Working On:
1) traveling more by myself. Spouse and I have very different interests, which is a more noticeable now that I have more time.
2) sleeping better
3) processing (code for getting rid of) a bunch of stuff we brought to our house when my mother died)
On the Horizon:
1) considering relocating to cooler climes. This would be after my in-laws have died, which is a bit of wild card. And we don’t know if we’d want that upheaval in our 70s. We might.
Delegating/Letting Go of:
1) newer vehicles
2) gasoline
3) business casual
4) many medical professional societies
5) economy cabin
6) doing my own taxes
7) guilt. It’s how I was raised. My parents and ancestors worked hard so that I could have a better life. Not helpful for me to create angst about having a better life.
8) worrying about my kids’ futures. Can only control what one can control. They will have joy and take their lumps like everyone else.
What I am enjoying:
1) not feeling rushed all of the time
2) my kids
3) my dogs
4) a few older friends
5) working out – its been a through line my entire life.
6) reading deeply about ancient history and origins of judaism and christianity (note: I am agnostic, this is a historical, not a theological interest)
Terrific list, doc. My top three are the same as yours (my current book is about the War of 1812) but to me the gratitude and appreciation of every day are crucial. I’m the first male in my family to live past 60, and it took beating a terminal cancer diagnosis to get here. Failing to savor every Mount Rainier sunrise (when it’s clear enough), dog walk and Cubs victory would be more than ingratitude — it would be Life Malpractice.
Fantastic lists and many I will add to my own.
I find it especially hard to stop worrying about my children, but I am trying. I am a true “worry wart”
I think one of the best parts of this season of life is perspective, and being able to find gratitude and peace with what has happened in the past, what I am experiencing now, and what is to come.
Amen, Doug. Being able to use that perspective to benefit the ones you love is even better!
Great list!
I gave up doing our own taxes a few years ago–and I’m so happy I did. Even though our tax situation isn’t particularly complicated, I hated trying to navigate through all the various electronic filing software. Now I happily drop off all the forms with our tax person and a week later everything is taken care of.
Every year when I write the check to my accountant I think “I should do this myself”. Every year when it’s tax time I upload my data to her server and heave a sigh of relief. I have not forgotten that it took me ten minutes to file my taxes in the UK, if that long….
But you have better things to do with your time, Kathy! 😊 P. S. I’m enjoying my first trip to your home country. I got a nice tax refund the day I left, so I’m not minding the higher prices compared to the U.S. one little bit. Loving the warm welcome here and the crush of good-natured tourists from all over who are enjoying the real life wonders of London. 🇬🇧
Doug,
Comprehensive list and many of these things hit close to home for me (68 and retired about 3 years).
I’ll add a couple things to the “positive” side that I’m doing and the challenging side that I’m trying to deal with:
Doing:
Challenges:
Doug’s comment about giving thanks for the blessings he has is something I am constantly thinking about. Despite some of the challenges I listed, I do try my best to convey this appreciation of life to those around me.
I especially like the suggestion of taking a college class. I loved college and continue to love learning. I have thought of taking a class but never pulled the trigger.
My brother and I live a plane ride away from each other and he is seven years older than me. We really hadn’t maintained much of a close relationship over our adult years.
As my parents aged and sickness came to them, my brother and I had additional reasons to interact. And now that both my parents have gone we continue to interact a bit more and it is good. We call and text each other occasionally, and two years ago we even took a vacation together to Hawaii. So relationships can sometimes be rekindled for the better.
Thanks for your list. Doug. Since shifting to part-time hours, my daily list hasn’t changed much. But I find more items checked off at the end of the day!
One of things I enjoy most about retirement is having additional time to do the things I must and want to do, and to complete them at a pace that enables a higher degree of pleasure.
Like instead of spending half days or more straight raking the grass in the spring, doing it for an hour or so alternating with reading for an hour throughout a half day. This is my trial year.
I love music. I now listen to hours of music using earbuds whenever enjoying work outdoors (if I haven’t chosen to listen to the birds instead).
I don’t know why I didn’t do this before retiring. I think I was just too busy and in a hurry trying to complete what was then just a chore.