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I like to be humble, but I also like to be honest. I can’t deny that I ran a successful business for twenty-five years, that I own two homes, or that I had the resources to retire at fifty-seven. In short, I’ve been fortunate. It would be farcical of me to pretend money isn’t an important enabler in life, but it’s worth remembering that it isn’t the most important thing.
I’ve spent most of the last month at my vacation home, with my eldest grandson as a near-permanent guest during his summer break. I’ve watched him paddleboard at the harbour with his friends, played rounds of golf with him on the local links course, and, from a careful distance, chaperoned his first ever double date: a funfair, then dinner at a pizza joint with two girls from the neighbourhood.
My four-year-old granddaughter spent a week with us. Our time together was wonderful. One evening I walked her, still in her pajamas, to the outdoor tables of the hotel beside our vacation home, where she laughed and hopped with delight at her first sundowner, watching the sun sink, glowing red, into the Atlantic.
My friend from London, a lifelong bachelor, lost one of his few remaining close friends to liver failure. He was devastated, and it knocked him down mentally. I invited him out to the coast, and for five days we walked the beaches, climbed the headlands, talked, laughed, and drank a few shots while burning food on the barbecue. I dropped him at the airport with his mind in a better place.
Yes, money matters. But I’m telling you about my month because the only thing that really mattered in it was time, time with my grandchildren, time with my grieving friend.
That’s the paradox of wealth. Over thirty years of work bought me two homes and a comfortable retirement. But almost always, the best time I’ve had in either of them cost almost nothing, a paddleboard, a few rounds of golf, a bottle passed between old friends, a sundowner watched from a hotel terrace in pajamas. Money is a tool, not the destination. It bought the terrace; it had nothing to do with the sundowner.
Time is the currency we know will run out, so it is the most valuable.
Mark, with time being our most valuable resource, it’s unfortunate that most people don’t put as much effort into managing it as they do their financial portfolio.
What money does buy you, is the freedom from having to worry about money. I retired 18 years ago at the age of 53. An offer was made to buy my company and I took it. I am very happy to have moved onto a new chapter in my life. I have very specifically sold out friendships with people as old friends move on to the other side. There is a group of us that lunch every Friday at noon and we are of all political stripes, religions, and other mindsets. But we all agree to not fight over our disagreements. We all get along well. The membership changes, but we all remain friends
Bob, that’s a good point — I should put more effort into building a younger social circle to future-proof my long-term friendships.
I have to admit, your comment about religion and politics caught my attention. I honestly have no idea what the religious beliefs or political leanings of the people in my wider social circle even are. Is that more of an everyday consideration in the US?
I belong to a few diverse groups myself. Its so much better when we can learn to tolerate each other having diverse opinions without fighting or having hard feelings. It takes effort and patience from every one of us, but well worth it.
Mark, this perfectly captures what many of us spend years learning. Money can buy comfort, security and choices, but it can’t buy the moments that stay with us. Looking back, the memories I treasure most aren’t attached to expensive possessions, they’re conversations with family, time spent with friends, helping someone through a difficult season, or watching a sunset with someone I love. Wealth gives us the opportunity to create those moments, but it’s our presence that makes them meaningful. Thanks for a thoughtful reminder of what really matters.
Andrew, well said — and it echoes something I keep coming back to: the best financial advice is rarely about money itself, it’s about what money is for. Comfort and security are just the foundation; the real return is being present enough to notice the moments worth keeping. Thanks for putting that so clearly.
Somewhere I read that “the greatest luxury of having money is not having to worry about it”
George, building on your point — one of the easiest ways to stop worrying about money is to simply invest in index funds.
This post improved my mood this morning. Thanks!
Jack, hearing that I’ve improved someone’s mood is a lovely addition to my day!
Mark,
Once again you made my day over my morning coffee.
Thanks for helping keep Humble Dollar content fresh.
Dunn, thanks for the kind words. I sometimes wonder if I’m straying too far from the mission statement, so it’s really nice to hear that this one landed.
I’ve been thinking about this since last night, I, too, have facilitated my granddaughter’s doing some special, expensive things. But I wonder if money or even the free time it makes possible, is really key here. Grandparents can take the kids to public parks, help catch fireflies in the backyard, or help them make a cake. One year after flying my granddaughter to NYC to see Annie on Broadway, we spent some time at my kitchen table playing with her plastic ponies. I sort of think the latter might have been more enjoyable for her.
Marilyn, I couldn’t agree more, fun doesn’t have to cost anything but time. When my granddaughter stayed with us, we had a day at the beach that turned into one of the best free entertainments I’ve ever had. We spent nearly an hour “accidentally” falling in the sand, getting completely covered, then diving into the sea to rinse off, over and over and over again. By the end, I would have happily paid good money for a different game.
The things we do, willingly, for our grandchildren!
Time is everything, and money can give you more of it. When you don’t have to work, and don’t have to stress about paying the bills, it gives you more time to share, as you have done with your loved ones, and more time to give back to the world if we choose to.
That to me is the greatest gift of my financial stability. Time to spend as I wish.
The commercial for Viking Cruises on my PBS channel is right: “Time is a scarce commodity”.
Mike, I’ve always thought the old finance saying, “time value of money,” is missing its better half: the “time value of time.”
Mark: great post! I think your terrace and sundowner analogy is an excellent insight to what money can do and what ought to be highly valued!
Dave, a sunset on a terrace is a beautiful thing, but like most beautiful things, it’s better with someone you love beside you than with an expensive drink for company.
I totally agree with your premise. I always think that seeing our children and grandchildren actually living out life lessons we’ve shared along the way is really valuable. And the best way to see that is by spending time with them and being present
L.H: Funny thing about retirement, I somehow have more time for my grandkids now than I ever managed to have for my daughters when they were young.
Mark, what an inspiring post to start my day! It helps mitigate the depressing effects of the Canadian wildfire smoke that is permeating my city, along with much of the eastern US.
Thanks!
Dan, I wasn’t aware of the air pollution issues in the US until I looked into it—it seems incredibly tough, maybe yet another sobering byproduct of global warming. I’m glad to hear my post was able to bring a little lift to your day!
It’s less of a paradox when you realize that what wealth buys is free time to do with as you please, i.e. pursue happiness/meaning without the worry/need to earn a living. The things it buys are less important than the freedom from worry about money and poverty.
Adam, I’ve always had a habit of viewing money not merely as a store of value, but fundamentally as a store of time.
I lesson I’ve failed to internalize. I wish I could, but my work ethic gets in the way.
Great thoughts of what really matters. Thanks, Mark. Chris
Chris, reading your posts and comments, it’s clear you understand the delicate intersection of money and family. Thanks for commenting.
Mark i really think we’re meant to be friends. 😉
Heidi – Absolutely, consider us official HD buddies. 😁
Mark, well explained and put in perspective. Jonathan talked about “Happiness” quite a bit in his book “Money and Me” and the impact of having good family relationships and good social connections with friends that were the keys.
Yes having money and the resources to enjoy great experiences like time at a vacation home helps but having the family and friends to share them with is the most important part. Jonathan’s point was that having good relationships with his family, friends and even his readers was what made him happy in a very humble way.
Good examples, Mark of exactly those things that bring us the most happiness!
Luvtoride, while the financial side of money is essential, like Jonathan, I’m always drawn to the human side of the ledger. How we behave and interact with money is such a rich source of life lessons.