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The impossibility of defining needs. 

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AUTHOR: R Quinn on 1/05/2026

An interesting article in the New York Times – These Young Adults Make Good Money. But Life, They Say, Is Unaffordable. January 3, 2026 – explores the unaffordable of life as perceived by young adults. This paragraph caught my attention.

Is it worth sacrificing a yearly vacation to save for a down payment, when housing prices keep rising? What about buying a home that is 90 minutes from work — or a two-bedroom for a family of four? Are children even possible?”

Yearly vacation, what’s that? Eating out? Dining out was so rare beyond an occasional White Castle hamburger, I can’t recall one. Two bedroom house? I wish. 

What I allude to here is my life growing up and the early days of our marriage. 

Growing up we didn’t have a house or even a two-bedroom apartment. Five of us lived in a one bedroom, one bath apartment. My parents turned the dining room into their bedroom. From age ten or so, I slept on the couch. We weren’t poor, my father worked 6-7 days a week.

When Connie and I were first married our apartment was an hour drive to work. Our first house – built in 1918 had three small bedrooms but one tiny bath for five of us. 

When I read “Is it worth sacrificing a yearly vacation to save for a down payment, when housing prices keep rising?” I don’t know what to think. 

Yeah, if you want a house, that sacrifice and others are worth it. And so is a second job and working overtime. At least that is the perspective of someone born in 1943. I asked Connie out on our first date in 1968 for a late meal – at the time we were both working overtime at our companies because we needed the money. 

“Are children even possible?” I’m not sure if that refers to the need or desire for both spouses to work or setting lifestyle priorities before children. In either case, that statement is beyond this older generation persons ability to understand.

And there is the rub. 

The differences in defining needs and wants and desires. Perhaps a very different perspective of what a person is willing to do or forgo to achieve their goals. 

Maybe life as we want it to be or think it should be is unaffordable-at least if we are under 30, but if we look at our definition of necessities, maybe not. 

I waited to age 70 to buy my dream car. The thought of making such a purchase ahead of scores of other really necessary things was, well, unthinkable. I’d probably be laughed at by a thirty something driving a leased MB. 

Until we moved to our condo in 2018 we never had a walk in closet, or family room or a bathroom nearly as large as one of those closets. Connie might have had unkind words about the closet space, but we didn’t express in the pages of the NYTs.

These days middle-class families spend roughly $1,000–$3,000 per year on their children’s sports activities, but costs can be much higher for competitive or travel teams – $5,000 and more. My children spend upwards of $5,000 each year. Is that a necessity? Probably not, but explain that to your children when their friends are playing. 

As in many cases, “unaffordable” is in the eye of the beholder as is “necessities” I guess. 

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Sal Collora
18 days ago

I am genuinely getting a giggle from all these comments. I turn 53 next week and my 24 year-old just bought a home, and I have relatives who live in multigeneration housing, so I have a lot of experience with this.

My children’s view of what’s normal is the fault of my wife and I. We did the high-end sports, we did tons of travel, we ate out here and there. However, we taught our kids the value and reward of work at an early age, and that nothing comes without costs.

I made it my business to earn enough money to support a traditional stay-at-home mom setup because I thought it was worth it because it made such a difference in my life. Good parents expose their children to the values that made positive contribution to their own lives and hope it sticks. That’s all you can really do.

I gave a very large gift to my son for his down payment and he’s got a 325K mortgage he has to pay, and it’s great to see him step up to the plate and work to make those payments. Does he spend too much eating out? Yes. Does he do stupid things with money and time? Yes. But that’s life. He’s an adult, and I want to see him be successful.

I don’t make it my business to worry about anyone else’s kids. The article, Dick’s article, and the comments are pretty entertaining, but that’s where it ends. The message is to make enough money through work, savings, and investment over 30 years, and you too can sit back, relax, and giggle at how “the young people” do things.

medhat
21 days ago

As someone who splits the difference age-wise between Richard and the subjects of the NYT article, I probably lean more towards Richard’s take on the subject of affordability, but having three children starting out in the workforce, I also can see how their perspective on saving and purchasing is shaped by the current economic and social climate. Despite making more on an absolute value when compared to me (and almost certainly Richard), I think not only have expenses increased commensurately, but the idea of access and opportunity seem more constrained than in the past. The “work hard and save for a downpayment on a home” seems a further, sometimes even improbable, reach than in the past, even compared to where I was a generation ago. This seems to me more than just a perception, so until I see data otherwise I’m willing to give the perception credence.

But we deal with the cards we’re given, when we’re dealt them, so not a ton of value I can see in looking fondly back as the past in this instance (otherwise I’d be crying over interest rates!). In my case I’m working towards helping my kids out when it comes to first mortgages, educational expenses, etc., relative big ticket items where a boost may be enough to get them on a path of forward momentum.

mytimetotravel
21 days ago

Here’s a contrary view from a WSJ columnist.

Complaining about the younger generation(s) is as old as the hills. Remember the sixties? It’s not going to change a thing, but maybe lets the self-satisfied feel good.

mytimetotravel
21 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

From dictionary.com: COMPLAIN definition: to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault. You were complaining, you do it a lot.

Darlene Mandeville
23 days ago

I think it is a mistake to take a newspaper article as a commentary on a generation and its thinking. I always remind myself that they are looking to sell newspapers.

The world has changed, and these kids grew up in an entirely different world than most of us did. Back in the day, there wasn’t the internet, kids weren’t told the only way to succeed was by going to college like they are today, people didn’t have access to endless supplies of credit, or exposure to the onslaught of social media and the rampant growth of advertisers telling everyone how to live the “best life” from the time they were born. As a society, we have also grown and learned that caring for your whole being(mental, social, and emotional well-being) is also an important factor in one’s happiness and having a well-lived life. I believe we are all better for it. Of course, they may have some different priorities and expectations. It is a vastly different world. Just as it was a different world for us than our parents’ generation, might our grandparents have thought it extravagant for everyone to have refrigerators, radios, electricity, and air conditioning? I also have to say that we all know people who, even back in the day, lived for the moment and spent recklessly, or didn’t save.

I have four kids in this younger generation (ages 26-32). My son and his wife have a home that they purchased with less than 20%. It is a modest 3-bed 1-bath, that requires work, and they are slowly working on it. They also grow their own food, cook at home, and don’t go on vacations in an effort to pay off their wife’s student loans asap. My youngest son lives in a modest apartment, works a full-time job, and has a side hustle to work toward saving that 20%+ down for a home. My other children have both made investments in furthering their education and their careers, while also saving for retirement and putting aside a little for a future home purchase. For them, travel and following their passions (skiing, mountain biking) are important to them at this time in their lives, so that is how they spend a good portion of their disposable money and time.

Guess what, I feel like all my kids are doing the right thing for themselves at this time. Yes, my kids bemoan ( and I agree with them) the outrageous costs of buying a home or going to college. Yes, they believe that a smartphone is not a luxury to them, but a necessity. Yes, I do find myself sometimes looking at them and their view of the world and how it operates and shake my head, but they are living in a world that isn’t remotely the same as the one that you or I grew up in, so it makes sense for them to have a different view and methodology for both living and succeeding in it.

I guess my point is that life experiences differ, people’s priorities differ, but I believe the values that helped all of us to succeed still exist for this next generation and in some ways may even be better.

S Phillips
18 days ago

I agree with you. Also, my four are 25 to 31.
in addition to social media promises now, there were television and television, advertisement promises yesteryear, and worst of all there are unkept political
promises about how good things can be in the future although that future doesn’t materialize and in some cases gets even worse than the present. All that and more breeds discontent and statements like were in the Wall Street Journal article.

Kenneth DeLuca
22 days ago

I second that sentiment Jan! Thanks Darlene!

jan Ohara
22 days ago

Darlene, I agree with all that you say but doubt that I could have expressed it as clearly. Thank you.

Darlene Mandeville
19 days ago
Reply to  jan Ohara

Thank you, I’m glad to have had the opportunity to provide my perspective.

Rachna Condos
23 days ago

I’ve been on Humble Dollar for the last year or so and I have to say that I am amazed at the negativity towards R.Quinn. I am 59 so perhaps a tiny bit on the younger side of the Humble Dollar demographic but I don’t see this reflexive negative attitude towards any other commenters/contributors, and it seems so antithetical to the Humble Dollar mission and community. I think his post above has real merit as so many in this generation lack context and assume that the lifestyle their parents afforded them is what they should have immediately. I have 2 children, 27 and 29, who (luckily) do not share that worldview but many of their friends do so it can be easy to be swept up in that. We worked hard, gave of our time and money to our children, but not at the expense of saving and investing. When I read these articles of young people bemoaning the end of the American Dream as they scroll on their $1500 phone and sip their $5 latte, while their parents are upset with them and for them, I can’t help but think, “they didn’t raise themselves.” There are always exigent circumstances that may require you to help your child and/or you may choose to help your child financially but giving them perspective and knowledge throughout their life is (in my humble opinion) part of helping them as well as just plain good parenting. R.Quinn’s example of his upbringing was surely not his children’s experience because all of us strive to provide more for the next generation but part of providing more is also giving context and history and simply attacking someone for saying that seems wrong. I do not expect my children to go without a vacation for the first 6 years of marriage like we did but I do expect them to appreciate our struggles and the things we did without, that led us to a retirement life that is without worry in terms of finances and allows us now to be able to help them in that way as well.

Hopefully this will not lead to the negative comments that come R.Quinn’s way on a regular basis but it it does then that will be very telling as well.

Last edited 23 days ago by Rachna Condos
Nick Politakis
23 days ago
Reply to  Rachna Condos

I agree 100%

George Counihan
23 days ago

My two adult kids spend on some things I find surprising but overall they are great savers and have never carried debt. Some of their friends and cohorts, not so much. I suppose I did a good job of pounding my favorite mantra into them … “The absence of economic stress is invaluable”

William Housley
23 days ago

We should be careful about comparison—it may actually be part of the problem in our society. Social media exposes everyone to everyone else’s life, making it easy for young people to measure themselves against billionaires or unrealistic standards. But comparison cuts both ways. It’s just as unhealthy for older generations to tell younger ones that they don’t know how to suffer or delay gratification.

Last edited 23 days ago by William Housley
S Phillips
18 days ago

I think maybe we do need to help them understand about delaying gratification.

Dave Melick
23 days ago

Growing up, I remember that money was tight, but we didn’t miss out. Gifts for birthdays and at Christmas, clean clothes in good repair, regular medical and dental care, small allowance in return for chores (with the admonition to tithe), and lots of great memories of family life. Vacations were typically to historically significant or interesting sites in the state where we lived. I remember that mom always packed picnic lunch stuff to avoid the cost of restaurant food. Sometimes, we had a motel room for 1 night, but most “vacations” were completed in a single day. Again, we wanted for nothing and had great experiences, all on a 1-worker salary and with no thought of competing with what other families did. Did not feel like a sacrifice.

Dan Smith
23 days ago

Forgive me for quoting AI. I asked if young people today were worse savers than the baby boomers. The answer contradicts some of my beliefs, here is the conclusion;
Younger people are not “worse” savers; in many ways, they are more disciplined because they have to be. They are navigating a “high-cost, low-safety-net” environment by starting earlier and utilizing high-yield accounts and automation. However, because they started with more debt and face higher housing costs, their high savings rates haven’t yet translated into the massive wealth Boomers enjoyed.

S Phillips
18 days ago
Reply to  Dan Smith

Is the safety net smaller now than it was in 1960 or 1930 or before? I wouldn’t think so?

Jack Hannam
23 days ago

What do you deserve versus what can you afford? For myself, and probably most of you it is the latter. A glance at my budget ledger gives me the answer. Sorry Dick, couldn’t resist.

Jack Hannam
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

I do indeed. I erased your red arrow too.

Mark Crothers
23 days ago

I think they cherry-pick for those types of articles. I personally know four young couples—all in their late twenties or early thirties—who’ve managed to get on the housing ladder. They’re well-adjusted adults who know how to prioritize without complaining about how unfair everything is. If they’d been interviewed instead, the whole narrative would be different. Like everything in modern newsprint, you find the evidence that fits the authors agenda.

Last edited 23 days ago by Mark Crothers
Mark Crothers
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

Do you happen to know what age the author of the piece is? It wouldn’t surprise me if they’re in their 30s and renting somewhere expensive.

Marilyn Lavin
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

If she’s living in NYC and living on her NYT salary, she may be renting.

Mark Crothers
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

Well…that’s my theory shot down in flames 😬

Marilyn Lavin
23 days ago

When I read this article last week, my first reaction was to wonder how long it would take RQ to post another recital of how he skimped his way to his present luxury life. Maybe this is an opportunity to start a
lottery!

parkslope
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

I long ago lost track of how many times you have criticized the behaviors of those in younger generations. At least it has been some time since you’ve complained about tattoos and avocado toast.

Marilyn Lavin
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

Last month, I paid more in property tax on the house we bought in 1977 than our entire household income for that year. My husband and I worked hard and we never were extravagant, but we were — and I expect you too— were the beneficiaries of the enormous social mobility experienced by our generation.

Last edited 23 days ago by Marilyn Lavin
S Phillips
18 days ago
Reply to  Marilyn Lavin

Sounds like the majority in your area are voting for people who think they need to tax and spend your money more than you need your money.

Nick Politakis
23 days ago
Reply to  Marilyn Lavin

Social mobility?

Marilyn Lavin
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

You seem to believe that individual behavior is the determinant of success. It definitely plays an important role, but it’s not the sole determinant. The larger complex socioeconomic, geopolitical picture also has to be considered. I’m not going to waste my time explaining the patterns of 20th century social mobility to you and why you should consider them, but I’m sure your favorite AI will get you started.

Marilyn Lavin
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

One more try — and then I’m done. Social mobility is affected by things like war. You were born in 1943 so were part of a small age cohort, don’t you think that influenced your job opportunities because of fewer people competing for jobs? And you were employed at a time and place favorable to white males? What I’m saying that it is easier for an individual to swim with the tide than against it.

I think I should have stuck with my original post. Your responses are so predictable, we could bet on them!

Last edited 23 days ago by Marilyn Lavin
Dan Smith
24 days ago

Mom and dad, grandma, my brother and I grew up in a house we thought was huge. It was 1450 sq ft, one bath, three bedrooms. My grandma’s bedroom was the size of today’s walk-in closets. The lots measured 40’ by 120’. 
Our neighborhood, like many others in Toledo, was built around factories, where it was possible for workers to walk to work. The neighborhoods supported local businesses like grocery, hardware, appliance stores, restaurants, and bars. It’s just not like that any longer. 
Expectations have surely changed. This is only my opinion, I can’t back it up with facts, but it seems like the mass marketing made possible by TVs  beginning in the 1950s began a trend towards consumerism. This consumerism has led to changes in the way people think.

David Lancaster
23 days ago
Reply to  Dan Smith

Consumerism has only become worse with the internet. Influencers and social media either say you deserve this, or shows only the good parts of life. I bet few post about repossession of their house, or car, or their bankruptcy. This is leading to depression as people see what others have. Personally I don’t give a damn what others have. I have all that I need and want which isn’t a lot as I am not a possession person.

Last edited 23 days ago by David Lancaster
S Phillips
18 days ago

It was television before social media although I think social media seems worse. It’s also politicians and non-political news (if there is such a thing) telling them that they deserve this and that and that the politician will give it to them or that someone has cheated them out of it whatever it is.

parkslope
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

Both sets of my grandparents first lived together in one room houses in the properties they were homesteading on–one in the Dakota Territory and the other in Saskatchewan, Canada. Neither one made it past lower middle class, but my parents were living in houses that were 750-1,000 sq ft by the time they graduated from high school and left home to become the first in their families to go to college, although my mother’s house didn’t have indoor plumbing. I still remember her brothers installing their parents’ first indoor toilet that my parents helped to pay for ~1955. Having an indoor toilet obviously doesn’t cross our minds today as being part of trend towards consumerism but I’m sure it was a big deal for my grandparents.

Dan Smith
23 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

Credit cards are a huge factor. Hard to save money when dealing with large credit card debt.
Also, it’s not just the youngsters that get tangled up in credit card debt; I had plenty of clients in our age groups who got themselves in trouble. And not all kids are bad savers; I wonder how the different generations compare with each other.

Last edited 23 days ago by Dan Smith
S Phillips
18 days ago
Reply to  Dan Smith

The public debt works the same way.

normr60189
24 days ago

We paced ourselves. First save for the down payment for a house. Then, when the children were young, we took a driving vacation to spend a week at a small lake. No air fare and inexpensive, compared to Disney Land, etc. Then when the children were in Middle School we began saving for college. No more vacations.

My first cars were “clunkers”. I switched every few years. My first “New” car was about $1,800. But I usually purchase slightly used automobiles, including our 2015 Chevy.

I’ve read that the young prefer to spend their money on “experiences”. That and expensive cars ($50,000 to $100,000).

There are choices to be made. It might be possible to do it all, but not at once. Credit card and college debt is something we avoided. The children went to private colleges, so I insisted that they pay a portion of their tuition. They worked through college.

Last edited 24 days ago by normr60189
Dan Smith
24 days ago
Reply to  normr60189

I understand that the average down payment on a home, by a first time buyer is about 8 to 9%. I’m pretty sure that when we were young, it was about 20%.
We have all that we want now, but it took patience and time to get here.

normr60189
23 days ago
Reply to  Dan Smith

Yes, as I recall it was 20%. the interest rate was 8 75%. Average federal college debt is $38000 to $39000. Advanced degrees raise that to $100000. Average income for any college graduate is 45000 to 60000

Last edited 23 days ago by normr60189
Mark Gardner
24 days ago

During my youth, cars and cigarettes were the mark of American freedom, as portrayed in the culture and advertising of the time.

Recently, I visited an European city of similar size to my own and was blown away by the fact that I didn’t need a car to get from one place to another. I could walk to grocery stores and services, relax with neighbors and fellow residents in beautiful parks and museums, and enjoy a quality education and basic healthcare if I chose to stay there.

Every generation has its quirks and follies!

Last edited 24 days ago by Mark Gardner
Bob Harrison
24 days ago

This isn’t a new phenomenon; it’s the timeless struggle of managing expectations versus reality.

While some today view yearly vacations and modern luxuries as baseline necessities, those with a more clear-eyed view understand the true difference between what we want and what we actually need. 

We all know how this story ends. The disciplined, who to control their expectations and work hard, tend to end up comfortable and secure. On the other hand, the entitled, who treat luxuries as rights, often find themselves struggling later in life, usually blaming “the system” rather than the decades of vacations and leased cars that came at the expense of their future.

Last edited 24 days ago by Bob Harrison

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