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Lines in the Sand

We live in a hyper-partisan world, and I’m not just talking about politics and cultural issues. Even among financial questions, I’m constantly surprised by what turns out to be controversial.

There are the obvious choices that affect retirees, such as when to claim Social Security and whether to annuitize part of a nest egg. These decisions involve significant dollars, so maybe it’s no great surprise that folks get hot and bothered.

But it isn’t just fairly straightforward financial issues that get fiercely debated. I also see folks take partisan sides on questions that—while they have a financial angle—I also view as lifestyle choices. Consider:

  • Should you move into senior housing? Even among those who like the idea of senior housing, I’ve seen folks embrace 55-plus communities, while disparaging continuing care retirement communities.
  • Do you need a sense of purpose to have a fulfilling retirement? I think retirees can find purpose in all manner of activities—cooking, helping their church, keeping themselves in shape. But it seems that, after a lifetime of work, some retirees balk at the very idea of “purpose.”
  • Should you work part-time in retirement? This is like the prior question, except on steroids. Some seniors seem offended that their fellow retirees might opt to work a few days a week, as though it’s an affront to the very notion of retirement.
  • Should travel be a big part of retirement? Some folks seem to think that retirement isn’t complete unless you’re regularly getting on and off a plane. Their relentless extolling of travel’s virtues often irks those who are happy to be homebodies.

All the back and forth on such topics can be entertaining. But let’s face it: On such issues, there’s no right or wrong, and things quickly get silly when folks take the moral high ground while belittling the choices of others. If you truly believe others are lesser mortals because they won’t climb on a plane to Europe or they’re aiming to age in place, maybe it’s time to stop judging others—and, instead, ask whether you’re looking to validate your own choices by bullying others into accepting your opinions.

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Matt Morse
2 years ago

I would add one to the list:

Should someone retire before they think they are financially ready? There seems to be many who criticize the choice to continue working OMY (one more year) because they judge that to be valuing money more than the “truly important” things in life.

H S
2 years ago

I agree it’s silly to judge people on lifestyle choices. To each their own. More and more it seems like people have lost the ability to agree to disagree. I had a co worker who’s political views were totally opposite of mine. We would spend our breaks talking ,especially during election years. Not once did our conversations ever get heated. We listened to each other, never tried to change the others mind, but just gained an understanding of how each of us developed our beliefs. Sadly not enough of that anymore.

R Quinn
2 years ago
Reply to  H S

Very true. Also, positions are too often developed on false information. I know a women who posted an outright falsehood and then told me she didn’t have time to check facts.

Last edited 2 years ago by R Quinn
Henry Blinder
2 years ago

Out there, it’s gotten to where so many folks are just dug in with their viewpoints, especially in the political and policy arenas. It’s refreshing to engage with those who do have open minds. One of many reasons reasons why what Jonathan and his team have created is valuable and special. And it’s on all of us to keep it going.

Dan Smith
2 years ago

Not sure if this will make sense to everyone, but I’ve found that if provocative “line in the sand” statements are avoided, people seem to agree on things more than disagree.

Linda Grady
2 years ago

“Maybe it’s time to stop judging others …,” is such good advice and worth remembering, as well as the ongoing effort to remain humble. At my church’s small women’s group, it’s tempting to “share” our latest good news, but when it’s talking about the latest trip or family get-together, it can be painful listening for those who don’t have those experiences. One of the best examples of humility that I regularly encounter at church is a retired couple who continue to work part-time and volunteer extensively. They also travel frequently, both to visit family and to cruise, but they only discuss their travels when asking someone to fill in for their absence at church or when they are specifically asked about their travel plans. Thanks, as always, Jonathan, for your thoughtful suggestions on being better citizens, not only of our local communities but of the global community that we share.

Kevin Lynch
2 years ago

There are reasons for “old sayings…” One of which is “To teach their own.”

Another one, although less kind, is “Opinions are like a_holes. Everyone has one and many of them stink.”

I retired in January of this year. In March we visited The Villages, in FL. For hose who live in a cave, The Villages is the largest retirement community in the US, and perhaps the world. Look it up on You Tube. A truly unique place and lifestyle.

I loved it and would have relocated there in a heartbeat. My bride of 50 years however, was not as enamored with the place as