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The phone call from my 29-year-old daughter in London recently sparked a familiar parental concern. She and her partner were jetting home not for a family visit, but to catch a Coldplay concert. My mind immediately did the mental math: flights, tickets… easily $500 per person. And then it hit me: this is the third major concert they’ve attended this year, on top of a holiday to the Canary Islands and my other daughter is at this very moment camping her way around Turkey and Greece.
It got me thinking about the narrative pushed by social media influencers: that “experiences” are the ultimate investment, the truest path to happiness, and undeniably the best use of one’s hard-earned money. And don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful to create memories and collect those precious moments. But a nagging question persists: Could this relentless pursuit of experiences, often meticulously curated for online consumption, be subtly undermining the long-term financial stability of millennials and their peers? Should they, perhaps, be gently nudged to refocus on something a little less glamorous: retirement savings?
The allure of the “experience economy” is undeniable. It promises rich memories, social capital, and a break from the mundane. But here’s a thought: the first ten years of retirement savings have a disproportionately powerful impact on the size of the final balance. This isn’t just financial jargon; it’s the magic of long-term compounding at work. Every dollar saved and invested in your twenties and early thirties has decades to grow, multiplying on itself exponentially.
Consider this: the extra compounding generated from those early, consistent contributions could, in fact, be the very funds that provide even more incredible experiences when retirement arrives. Imagine exploring new continents, pursuing passions, or simply enjoying a comfortable, worry-free lifestyle in your later years, all funded by the disciplined choices made decades earlier. It’s about shifting the delayed gratification, not eliminating the joy.
I’m grappling with how to convey this message to my daughter without sounding like a broken record or the stereotypical finger-wagging parent. It’s a delicate balance between respecting her autonomy and offering genuinely valuable financial insight. But when she’s home, I’m considering gently making my case. Wish me luck – it might be the most important “experience” conversation we have all year.
Whether they spend on experience or stuff doesn’t matter. Are they saving and investing? I like Quinn’s book suggestion.
Coldplay? The conversation should be about her music taste, not the spending!
jk😂
I wanted to take my three kids to see an IMAX movie yesterday (How to Train Your Dragon), because they’d never seen an IMAX movie before. Total cost for 4 tickets in the middle of the afternoon: $96.99!
What crosses my mind is the level of responsibility a person has as they enter WorkLife. I was married while in college and had kids soon after. Working was a requirement for existence. Savings was a path to the future and every extra dollar went to a future that included a nice house and decent education for our children. We had experiences, and they included our children. Family gatherings, summer vacations, other travel, and job moves around the country filled us with experiences and people that stay with us. We didn’t have to post these events on social media, we lived our lives and enjoyed the variety of events together. there may be a picture here or there that reminds us. Retirement is here now. My experiences including personal relationships and such revolve around the experiences we had along the way. We didn’t have to create them. They occurred in real life (IRL) and still do through family, grandchildren and travel. there is value in appreciating what you have without feeling the need to create the memories.
I’d stay clear of criticizing her choices and ask her how she’s preparing for retirement and tell her how you prepared for retirement at her age or how you wished you did. Good luck.
Whether spending on experiences of stuff, it still takes money so I’m not sure it matters what the attraction is. It’s easy to rationalize spending.
Maybe when she is home put a few of Jonathan’s books around My Money Journey would be a good one. 🤑
At 29 a person should have figured this spending/saving thing out. Maybe she has been a good saver and spender at the same time.
I say good for your children. As a young man, I worked hard most of the year and spent summers in Greece and Europe. I went to a lot of concerts because music was important to me. It wasn’t experiences I was after but what I enjoyed in life: music and travel. I think as a young person you are trying to find what excites you and I think I did. Maybe your kids are doing the same. Unless they are asking for support be happy for their choices.
I agree with the way you framed “experiences”. I don’t embark on a trip or activity with the goal of having experiences to remember in the future. I try to live life as I wish to, and hope I will one day remember those experiences fondly.
My philosophy is to prepare for the future, but have some fun along the way in case you don’t make it that far.
You speak the truth Mark, but I’m not sure how you have that conversation without sounding like a controlling grumpy old man.
In my day, way back in the nineteen hundert and seventies, you could see a major act like Springsteen, Chicago, Led Zeppelin, Jimmy Buffett to name a few, for under $10…. Guess I’m sounding like the grumpy old man now.
I rationalized the cost of my high-end sound system based on escalating concert ticket prices.
Yes, for the price of a few scalped tickets for Taylor Swift you can buy some nice gear. Jack, you, me and Jeff Long could start our own blog on this subject.
We saw Springsteen, U2, the Eagles, and Taylor Swift in 2024. It cost…more than $10, for sure.
Concert tickets…. I wonder what the inflation rate has been on them over the last 40years!!
Not just concerts. Last time I was in the US I went to a fairly minor league hockey game. But it was at a pretty new multipurpose arena obviously geared for touring shows so as a result everything was controlled through the great preying mantis Ticketmaster.
What IMV should have been no more than a $20-25 walk up ticket at the counter were as a result $55-85 plus fees. I had to hang around til near face off time outside until Ticketmaster algorithm dumped the price on unsold/returns to my level. A family likely wouldn’t have done that -they’d have just not gone in the first place unless it was a special occasion.
“Could this relentless pursuit of experiences, often meticulously curated for online consumption, be subtly undermining the long-term financial stability of millennials and their peers?“ Possibly.
The answer lies on the other side of the balance sheet. Are these millennials spending discretionary income? Or all/most income?
I have no issue with pursuing “experiences” and it is certainly a good thing to do when one is young and able. However, mortgaging one’s future is not a sound financial plan. Nor is short term thinking a solution to long term problems.
The answer is probably “yes,” but the fact is there’s never been a shortage of things for people to spend/waste their money on. If it’s not Coldplay, it’ll be something else. Truth is, most people don’t really like to save or don’t see it as a priority. This is becoming a reoccurring theme in my posts here.
Interesting question. I certainly don’t know the answer. What I can say is that when I look at my 3 kids (all in their 40’s now), their basic personalities regarding money are essentially the same as when they were kids and teenagers. Two are pretty responsible and lead very responsible lives with a balanced approach to managing money. Meanwhile, the third is a spendthrift. Yes, the spendthrift has embraced the “experience economy”, but frankly he’d embrace whatever “the thing” happened to be. The only constant I’m sure of is that he’s going to spend every dime he makes. It just seems to be who he is. I’ve certainly had many a long talk with him about it, and while he’ll agree at the time nothing ever changes. At this point, I’ve (mostly) stopped beating that dead horse and moved on. So I guess my point is that sometimes one’s basic personality is more important than whatever trend happens to be popular. Just my 2 cents.
I think I missed the mark with my last post. What I really wanted to emphasize was the immense societal pressure millennials faced to conform to the ‘experience culture,’ and the detrimental impact this often had on their finances and crucial retirement savings.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying we should stop enjoying travel or experiences during our best years. My daughter’s fondness for chasing concerts and holidays – a true expert in maximizing annual leave, bless her! – was just a gentle foil to lead into this much bigger conversation about generational financial pressures, not the main event itself.
I didn’t miss that – I just don’t know what the optimal answer is. I do despair of those who seemingly can only go anywhere or experience anything through the constant presence of their phone camera – concerts, sports events, selfies at landmarks, their dinner. I’m even dabbling in my own photography genre – taking photos of influencers and instaholics filming themselves at landmarks. A sort of very sub/amateur Martin Parr https://petapixel.com/martin-parr/
But then they, in general, aren’t my generation. I expect they’ll grow out of it or at least moderate the bits that are rather more hedonic treadmill than real rewarding things that need to be documented.
Oh I like that! That amuses me no end lol
Perhaps you could raise the subject by citing an imaginary friend. See Jonathan’s comment in William Housley’s recent forum post “A Complex Portfolio, a Modest Account.
Interesting.
Don’t think I’d walk past the end of street to see Coldplay. On the other hand I did recently overcome a lifetime aversion to stadium rock to see Springsteen and it was well worth it despite being a music fan not a Bruce megafan.
It’s not either/or. What’s life for if you don’t have those experiences that are your memory capital for the rest of your life? On the other hand I’m as cynical as anyone about all the commercial exploitation of YOLO. Does anyone under the age of 45 actually need to go to the Oasis reunion tour/cash grab or have some exclusive curated luxury holiday experience?
Hopefully young people will always be young. First thing I did after graduating university was take off for a summer waiting tables somewhere nice then subsequently went round the world without anything more than a couple of Lonely Planet books and saved money. It gave me life skills, personal confidence/resilience and yes experiences that I still remember (and use to put into context whatever is being sold to me as an organised travel product today). The fleeting friendships and romances are also something that I regard fondly.
I’ve taken subsequent sabbaticals rather than pursue career and money at all costs. You can do both and frugality skills and streetsmarts are transferable.
The thing about retirement is that it doesn’t need all to be end loaded. People should do stuff while they are free and healthy – it’ll likely never be cheaper.
From the other side as you are saying, funding it shouldn’t be all end loaded either
Maybe your kids could start thinking in terms of 3 pots for life – the necessary pot of all the mundane essentials, the fun pot and the financial security pot. Put income into them all and try to maintain discipline about taking from one for another.
At the end of the game of life, it’s not your stuff or your money that you will reflect on – it’s the relationships and experiences. You just need enough dilligence on the stuff and money to max out on the relationships and experiences. (This is not an exhortation for young people to find fun but high maintenance partners etc!)
Do you know if she is saving for retirement also? Our millennial kids are doing both, and at this stage of the game, we only give advice about their finances if they ask us. And, as someone who put off travel when I was young, I wish Spouse and I had been able to do more, both together and with our kids when we were raising them. We are in our 60s now and the window for travel is shorter than when we were younger. Chris
Yes Chris
Unfortunately just the minimum of 5% and a 3% employer match
Maybe mention about upping it when she gets a raise: do something like 1/2 for retirement and 1/2 for lifestyle. That might make it more palatable than cutting lifestyle by a lot? And she could continue with every raise until maxed out. I am sure you can find the right words. Chris.
I’d just base the conversation around tax if she is anywhere near higher rate tax band in the UK or likely to become. That was the wakeup call to me for retirement savings contributions not the power of compounding.
Perhaps instead of attacking their lifestyle choices, present it as, you’re independent now, so I thought perhaps we should go over the stuff I did in the background that let me have a very stable life.
Emergency fund, basic budgeting and slowly saving over time, 3 foundational ideas that tend to keep people pointed in a good direction.
Hi Scott
I like your suggestion
Thanks, I think your concerns are quite valid and worth addressing
My wife and I had two children before we were thirty. We went on our first “real” vacation to Europe when I was 44. This trip occurred the as my brother in law who was teaching in Belgium was considering returning stateside. I said to my wife that we should be irresponsible and take a “”credit card vacation“ before he left as we may never get there otherwise. The vacation was a week long using his apartment near Brussels as a base camp for a couple day trips and overnights to Paris and Normandy.
Other then that our only other big vacation was to Disney World with our children when they were about 10 and seven. That trip took many years of saving and using a money goal thermometer poster. Otherwise our vacations were typically staycations or a few two night stays to places like Montreal, the Cape, or Pennsylvania. We were saving for retirement and our childrens’ college so money was tight. I think we all valued our “big” vacations more because they were infrequent.
As I have written we have been fortunate to make several trips to Europe during our first few years of retirement.