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MANY FOLKS CLAIM TO be ready for retirement, both financially and psychologically. But they’re often surprised to discover that the reality is different from what they expected.
I started planning well in advance of my 2023 retirement. I read dozens of books on the subject, and talked to many classmates and friends who’d already retired. Of all the books and videos that I reviewed, one talk on YouTube stood out: a TEDx Talk by Dr. Riley Moynes on the four phases of retirement. The four phases he identifies are honeymoon, loss of identity, trial and error, and reinvention.
Based on my observations of recent and long-term retirees in two 55-plus communities, these four phases do indeed reflect what happens in retirement. But I also think two further phases need to be added.
Phase 1: Honeymoon. New retirees start traveling to exotic places, visit long-lost friends and relatives, and splurge on expensive things. Freedom from a nine-to-five job is liberating. Decades of saving and investing provide sufficient cash flow and a big enough nest egg to make retirement feel like one long vacation.
This phase can get derailed by unforeseen events. I know many who retired during the pandemic and stayed home for a while. The retirement honeymoon can also get derailed by a sudden change in your health or your partner’s, or by the need to care for elderly parents.
Moynes says that, “Phase 1 lasts for a year or so, then it begins to lose its luster. We begin to feel a bit bored, and we ask ourselves, ‘Is that all there is to retirement?’”
When I retired, I didn’t spend much time in the honeymoon phase. I was clear about what I wanted to do and got busy right away.
Phase 2: Loss of identity. This is the phase when folks start regretting that they retired. They feel the loss of their old routine, their interactions with colleagues and their identity.
Moynes says that, “Phase 2 is also where we come face to face with the three Ds: divorce, depression and decline, both physical and mental. The result of all of this is we can feel like we have been hit by a bus.”
Phase 2 is a challenge that some retirees struggle to escape. Sometimes, health issues crop up, derailing dreams of an active lifestyle.
Phase 3: Trial and error. “In phase 3, we ask ourselves: How can I make my life meaningful again?” says Moynes. “How can I contribute? The answer often is to do things that you love to do and do well.”
This is a period of trial, error and experimentation. There could be many disappointments as you figure out what works for you. You might find yourself taking classes, trying new hobbies and expanding your social network. You may also decide to downsize or move.
This is the phase I’m in now, trying out different things. My writing for HumbleDollar is one such experiment.
Phase 4: Reinvent and rewire. This is the stage where we try to get the most out of retirement. Moynes encourages us to ask, “What’s the purpose here? What’s my mission? How can I squeeze all the juice out of retirement?”
In this phase, you’re reinventing yourself to make meaningful contributions. This could be one of the happiest phases. I see retirees starting a blog, a business or a charity, or helping the needy and volunteering. There are many ways to make contributions that are deeply satisfying.
To the above four phases, I’d add two more phases to cover the entire spectrum of retirement.
Phase 5: Routine. As you get older, your energy level decreases. You pick a routine to follow every day. A daily walk, healthy eating and meeting friends become important. I see retirees enjoying the simple things in life. It’s a blessing if you can maintain good health. This is also the time to develop a plan to manage your next phase.
Phase 6: End of active life. While you can skip one or more of the previous phases, going through the end of active life is almost inevitable. Your mobility may be affected, and you may need help managing daily activities.
Even if you’ve prepared the necessary estate planning and financial documents, you must still come to terms with the fact that your time on earth is limited. The death of a spouse or a terminal health diagnosis are shocks you may need to bear. Major life changes can include moving closer to children or to a continuing care retirement facility.
I’ve been lucky so far. The future, however, is impossible to predict—and no doubt many challenges lie ahead.
Sundar Mohan Rao retired after a four-decade career as a research and development engineer. He lives in Tampa in a 55-plus community. Mohan’s interests include investing, digital painting, reading, writing and gardening. Check out his earlier articles.
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Thank you for your article. As one who is ready to begin my retirement journey in a couple of months I appreciate those who have already began their journey
Rereading this I’m wondering about Phase 5. First, wasn’t your working life based on routines? Mine certainly was – that’s how I got to work every morning, and it’s how my week was often structured. Second, what’s wrong with routine? I do the same things in the same order every morning, and I’m fine with that. I go to the same meeting every third Tuesday, and another every fourth Tuesday. My tai chi class is every Tuesday afternoon, and my dance class is every Thursday morning. Why is that somehow a sign of decline?
Good point. But this routine in Phase 5 is different. This is not meant as a decline. It is just a phase of life one goes through.
I see many in their 80’s are in this phase. They enjoy simple pleasures such as card games. They are not traveling to far away places, hiking the mountains or taking major risks. They were doing all these as part of vacations when they were working, which was a different routine phase, as you mentioned.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to reach this phase with decent health. It is a gift.
You forgot to mention the effects of a pandemic.
I alluded to pandemic in Phase 1 Honeymoon. You are right, pandemic affected everyone, in every phase.
Your health is often what dictates the quality of your retirement. Except for financial status, it is usually an accident or unforeseen ailment that blocks your day-to-day enjoyment of retirement.
I always encourage people I know to be stay active and to engage in fitness exercises as they get older, even if they think they are in good health.
My rationale is this: I’m 73. In my family, our “use by” date is around 93. So that suggests I have about 20 years left. Since I am currently in pretty good shape, I assume that the first ten of those years will be fine. But it is the second ten that I worry about. So, I exercise and stay in shape today and every day so that I will increase the likelihood that those second ten years of my life will also be good (or at least less problematic…)
I am in the same situation. Very difficult to predict and prepare for the second ten years. Best is to focus on health and what you can control. You were right on.
Living in a 55+ community, I have a front seat view of what could happen. It is like fast forwarding a movie with a sad ending.
I read this article with interest because as I’ve shared in a couple of articles of my own, I’m in the final countdown to retire next July 1. I realized reading this that I don’t need to worry much about steps 1-2 and can concentrate on 3-4 (and eventually 5-6).
As for the honeymoon period, my husband and I decided some years back that we weren’t going to wait for retirement to travel and do other fun stuff (for example, we like going to live sporting events, concerts, and theater). We have more disposable income now than we will when we’re both retired, and we’re fortunate to have a fair amount of flexibility and control over our time. We do have a bucket-list-type trip (French Polynesia) booked for next year to celebrate my retirement, but I don’t think our travel patterns are going to change much from where they are now. So we’re already on our “honeymoon.”
I’ve worried a bit about how loss of identity (step 2) is going to hit me. I’ve been a professor for 35 years, and it’s a huge part of who I am. I live in a college town, and when I meet new people, it’s so easy to say “I’m a professor at the university.” But—as I shared in my article—things have been difficult and icky for the last few years with university politics, and I want out. I still enjoy teaching and writing, but I can do some of those things even after I quit the day job. And I’m SO ready to say goodbye to my employer. I think July 1 is going to be an enormous relief. Honestly, I wish I could retire next week.
Among other things, I think the pandemic experience has helped me to fast-forward these retirement phases. We were so grateful to be able to travel and do other fun things again after COVID that we committed to not putting it off, because you never know. And working remotely for 18 months while the university was shut down helped me to disconnect with the day-to-day realities of my workplace and those relationships. It’s never gone back to normal. On days I do go to my office on campus, I hardly see anyone on my floor in our building anymore.
One thing I missed after retirement was contacts with younger people. I am a mentor for a student group project at a nearby university and that certainly helps.
Good article. I relate well to this since I have been retired 14 years. My major goal for retirement was to have a meaningful purpose for my life. After all, I retired from work, not from life.
I see some people who retire and seek a life of leisure. I enjoy leisure, but not all the time. I think these people tend to decline more rapidly, both physically and mentally.
I am blessed to do most everything I could do 25 years, albeit at a slower pace.
You captured the essentials of retirement. Those with curiosity, willingness to learn new things, positive attitude, purpose and good health are thriving in retirement.
There are many who skipped Phases 1-4 and directly went to Phase 5 and are very happy.
These are very good comments. As I live in Tampa, FL, and still recovering from aftermath of hurricane, I am unable to post my comments easily. We are doing well and hopefully our power will be restored soon.
Sundar Mohan Rao
Glad to hear you’re OK!
Sundar,
Excellent perspective.
All you describe in stage 1 pertains to me as I retired in ‘19, and my wife in ‘20 (due to COVID). I doubt I will EVER get to stage 2 and will jump to one of the later stages as I couldn’t wait until I could leave the rat race
1 to 5 for me too. Everything in between tells me that person was not truly ready to retire.
Well, that’s all nice and organized, but it doesn’t represent my retirement at all, aside from the fact that there will probably be a Phase 6 (although my retirement community just celebrated the 101st birthday of a resident who is still in independent living). I took early retirement so I could travel, and I traveled for the next sixteen years, but I wouldn’t call it a honeymoon phase. I certainly never felt I suffered from a loss of identity, but I never confused my job with my identity in the first place. Although I am staying very busy now I have moved to a retirement community, I wouldn’t say I was concerned with a search for meaning. I exist, at some point in the not too distant future I will cease to exist. Meanwhile, I’m trying to enjoy the time I have left.
As someone told me, “You are doing great in retirement, if you are excited to get up in the morning and look forward to the day”. Maybe, it is as simple as that!
My mother in law lived with her second husband in a senior housing apartment until she was 102 1/2 this past May when her husband moved into a nursing home. She has moved in with us and is independent with a walker, performs all ADLs independently (except cooking which she gladly gave up since my wife is such a good cook). She even manages her own money, and takes her medications independently. Truly amazing!
That’s wonderful! I hope your wife is planning for a long retirement…
Thanks, Sundar, for a concise and thought- provoked article. I, too, hope that you are safe. Nine years in to my retirement. I’m between Phases 4 and 5, and planning for 6. At loose ends for a while, I have found meaning and purpose in volunteering as an active board member for a local non-profit daycare center, as well as for my church. My most important retirement job is winding down as my high school senior grandson, who lives with me, has become very independent (in a good way) as he prepares for college and works at two part time jobs. I see myself moving more into Phase 5, but still hoping for active travel. My faith, and the community I share it with, will be my support in Phase 6.
Sundar,
I retired a decade ago at age 60.
I went immediately to stage 5 – routine.
I never regretted retirement. Now I have more time to try to catch up on my reading.
And lots more time to spoil my grandchildren.
Count me in as someone who went directly to stage five, skipping stages one through four.
Sundar, I think your phases 5 and 6 are very accurate descriptions of retired life. I pretty much sidestepped the earlier phases, but there’s no escaping this final 2.
I also sidestepped phases one through four. I’ve always been someone who thrives on routines, so going directly to phase five wasn’t surprising.
Good post, Sundar. I will share with my spouse who just retired this year. I see you live in Tampa and my prayers are with you in the hurricane. Chris
Thanks for your best wishes! We lost power for 4 days. Luckily, no damage of any kind to our home. We are happy to get back to our routines!