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We’re reaching a milestone. Our oldest is going off to college and I’m curious how much parents provide their young adults on a monthly basis for food and incidentals. My son has worked consistently since age 15 but is only now finally getting the importance of saving. As such he doesn’t have much to show for his efforts except a bunch of Uber Eats receipts, shoes and clothing that he purchased. He’ll be staying on campus, has a meal plan and a car that I’m allowing him to take to college with him so he’ll need gas money. If I’m handling insurance and repairs for the car, what’s a reasonable amount of spending money? He’ll be in GA where the cost of living is relatively reasonable. Whatever amount, I know I’d like to distribute it weekly to throttles spending and prevent him for blowing his monthly allowance in the first week. Your thoughts, suggestions and feedback are much appreciated. Thanks!
I have one child who didn’t ask for a lot. We were always like, do you need any money, do you need any money? Decades ago when I was in school, I tracked necessary expenses and then would ask my dad to reimburse me for those. So, then, what is “necessary?” Books, groceries, anything school-related, anything needed to live. Beyond that, I paid for it. I never overbilled him. I hated asking for money. I would have rather had a certain amount sent to me.
We paid for our kids basic expemses. Tuition room and board and books.
no car. Why? You can live on campus. Certainly no “party expenses”. If you want to party get a job.
they were there to get an education, not to get a lot of other things.
I dont know what we would have done if they brought home less than A’s, but I would not have continued paying for sub par preformance.
I do not think college is so difficult that it is impossible to get a 3.5 GPA, if you are in the library every night till 10 PM.
if you can’t handle that get a real
job and see how you like it.
“Concerned” seems a misnomer here😎
I’ve financed 4 children at college (my 3 and a niece). My first advice is tell the child to develop a budget what they need each month. Itemize line by line: gas, clothes, books, socializing,… and then discuss it together. I found my kids to be realistic and reasonable. Then a couple of months into the semester I asked them to reassess their numbers after living in the environment. We upwardly adjusted as needed. And sometimes they requested additional funds for a special need like an expensive book or a new dress for a club social. College is also a financial education and your child learning to manage life away from home. They will make mistakes and that’s expected and a learning opportunity. Recommend a monthly allowance rather than weekly. Weekly micromanages the 18 year-21 year old too much. Show trust and have high expectations for mature behavior. You want your child to have a fun college experience as well as get a wonderful education.
Instead, I think it is more important for our children to learn responsibility (and knowledge) rather than have fun. Necessity is the mother of invention, and they should already have learned how to have fun on the cheap. I would rather supplement a child’s budget after college in their first job than in college, and I would never let them set the budget if I’m paying the tab.
For sure this is a discussion that should have occurred years ago, so the child knows what to expect. I received no spending money when I went to college. Similarly, I paid all r&b + tuition for my 2 kids, but nothing else. Teach them they can do without that evening pizza, expensive clothes, etc. That’s important knowledge to learn – and it’s free.
I would tie some of the funding to good performance at school. Not straight A’s but they should show evidence of working hard toward their degree (anyone not in STEM should have at least a B average). This is not playtime….
Since these are luxury expenditures rather than necessities, I agree. Mr Quinn wants to reward bad behavior which is never a good idea.
I think that is a bad idea. I don’t see one tied to the other at all. Either they are motivated for college or not. They don’t need more unnecessary pressure in my opinion.
This situation, as described, with darn near everything already covered, sounds like my kid. We gave enough for about meal out every week and gas money (but we tracked vehicle usage so we’d know if it was driven excessively). Spend less, accumulate more, that was the rule. If the car stayed parked, more money for food, etc. Maybe he doesn’t even need the car? Maybe he’ll use it to make money (but he oughta be studying!).
I might be the odd one here. Both of my kids finished state university in Texas, we opened a Texas tomorrow funds for both when the younger was born, so both can attend state university free of tuitions and fees. They have also been admitted to top private universities in Texas. We paid everything else, living expenses, car, insurance and give them a credit card to spend anything they deem not excessive. We paid for oversee summer schools. If I have to do it again, I will not change anything.
I paid tuition, room and meal plan. Also, provided a car and insurance. Sons were in charge of incidentals from their summer job savings.
Way back in the day (the late 1970s) when I started college, my parents “subsidized” my education with the princely sum of $400. (Annual costs at my high-end private college exceeded $5,000 for the first year and rapidly escalated from there.) Even though I had worked several jobs — more than 70 hrs/wk the summer before freshman year — and saved nearly my entire summer job earnings, they reasoned that I would value my education more and be more diligent, if I were paying my way by myself. (Neither of my parents had even graduated from high school.) I eventually graduated from college on the eight-year plan (with a 3.5/4.0 grade point average), because I just couldn’t sustain the rising costs. I had taken out the maximum amount possible under the old Guaranteed Student Loan program for each full-time year of my education and worked part-time jobs while studying just to keep body & soul together. I never moved back home after Christmas break of my second year of full-time study. (There were 3 years of full-time work in the middle of my 8-year plan)
When my own kids started college, we were living overseas in a place where it was illegal for them to hold jobs, since they had no work visa. It was impossible for them to save earnings, because there were none. We covered the usual expenses (tuition, room and board) with tuition fully covered by a 529 plan purchased by my in-laws for each child. Only one of our kids struggled with using their living allowance responsibly, but even he has come around to wise management of his expenses as an independent adult. We were giving them about $100/month, but had to jack that up for our youngest, who graduated in 2022 — inflation is real!
Bottom line: each family must take this decision carefully, but my background leads me to err on the side of making sure the student has enough to cover basic needs with little margin for splurges. Fortunately, my wife was able to temper my ascetic tendencies so that our kids had an easier road than I did.
Z
We did not provide any extra money to our 3 children for college beyond T, R & B. Each was required to have a summer job to pay for books etc… None of them complained. Once graduated, we co-signed a loan for a new car and gave them $5,000 down on that purchase.
Every college or university provides information on what the costs are for someone to attend their school. Simply google, School name cost of attendance. I think that this includes things like all the fees including their student health insurance, books, room and board etc. What is not included are things like clothing, travel, auto/parking, cell phone, Starbucks, etc.
You might discuss with your student, to ask them what they are spending now, and for them to come up with a budget to include the items not covered within the school’s cost of attendance. Then, you begin and make adjustments as necessary…..
Hey Chris,
Since your post generated a lot of varying ideas/opinions I hope at some point you will post later what you decided.
Congratulations Chris. My daughter our youngest is about to embark on this very journey. She 17. She has 3/4 tuition scholarship coupled with a 529 plan. Those will cover books, tuition and a meal plan. She has her debit card to her account that we have been putting $100 per month into. We will likely add another $100 to that per month. She plans on working some when she gets settled. She has a car but she not taking it to school the first year. We will adjust as needed. We are not going to overthink this as there is nothing on fire and low risk to our financial situation. She’s the third and last of my brood, so we have been there before although her two older brothers stayed home and commuted to school with their cars.
While we paid for virtually all college tuition and R&B for our four children. We did not give them any money.
For two who were in college together we paid for an apartment which was less than dorm.
They either worked on campus during the school year and/or worked full time in the summer (including summer before first year) and accumulated all their years expense money and more.
None of them had a car their freshman year and two not at all. One bought their own car and the other used an older car we had. We paid insurance, but no gas money.
Our kids went to school in NYC, so no car and dorm all four years. We covered all housing, meal plans, books etc as well as tuition. They all had summer jobs and used that money for extras— no one had a job during the school year
i don’t see that model as totally applicable for the granddaughter. She’s chosen—at latest report— a rural university where campus housing is guaranteed for only one year. Living in a college town, I know off campus housing is likely to be pricey and hard to get. I also don’t know how easy it will be for her to get a summer job; given the higher minimum wage in many states; I’ve noticed the businesses that hired our kids have cut back on teen workers. I’m feeling kind of relieved nobody has suggested the $100-150 a month that I mentioned in my post below to be totally outrageous enough to elicit a response. But if anyone does think that way, I be interested to know the rationale. I’m still struggling with this.
Marilyn, did you check & see if her parents are giving her an allowance? If not, I’d give it to her. If you think back to days when money was tight, how grateful you were when someone helped you out, if they did. I know at a time when I was a student, I was helped out with a monthly allowance by a kind older friend. I remain extremely grateful to this day, for that support, that I didn’t have to ‘pinch pennies’ or worry about how I was going to pay for this or that. $150 per month maybe averages about $35 per week, enough to cover some incidental expenses. It’s not enough for someone to be spoiled by & I don’t think it negates the need for her to get a summer job. Alternatively, u could wait to see if she gets a campus job.
The other thing that comes to mind is, has she thanked you for gifts in the past? We hear so often that some grandparents don’t even get a ‘thank you’ or any acknowledgement of a gift.
One of the girls who’s adopted me as her honorary dad was studying at a university on the South coast of England, in a notoriously expensive area. She was genuinely struggling to keep up financially, working 30 hours a week just to stay afloat — and it was taking its toll. Her grades slipped, and watching a straight-A student spiral into an existential crisis and lose confidence in herself was hard to witness.
Eventually I stepped in. I started sending her the equivalent of 15 hours of minimum wage each week, around $160, until she found her footing going into her second year. All told, I supported her for about half a year. So in answer to your question , I think $150 per month is reasonable…but my question in return is this: does she need it? Should you hold of and see how she gets on by herself first?
I should have thought about waiting! Excellent idea. Maybe she will get a summer job. Better if she can assume some responsibility for her spending. I can always help out if she needs the help. Thanks for the insight.
My granddaughter will be starting college in the fall. Her 529 will cover tuition, books, dorm etc. She’ll probably have a car at school— don’t think the 529 can be used for that . I was considering giving her $100-$150 a month. I’m not sure, but I don’t think she’s particularly financially responsible. I’m planning to provide the money each month. Good or bad idea?
Here’s what worked for me in the late ’60s to early ’70s; maybe some of these ideas of how one might manage without an allowance will help:
Dad paid tuition, room, and board, for undergraduate only. Although I was not on financial aid, the college had other jobs available, so I was able to pay for discretionary expenses. I had no car; I don’t remember who paid for books. In those four years I found jobs including dorm reception desk, mail distribution, dining hall work, resident assistant, dorm manager, and some local babysitting.
I spent the summer after freshman year with a classmate at her awesome home while working on a research project with her that paid a little stipend. After spending the second summer at my home (and vowing never again), I spent the next three summers, including between the two years in graduate school, working for my undergraduate college in various positions in dean’s offices, as a dorm director for summer conferences, and as a house sitter for faculty.
My master’s degree was a one-year program done in two years, studying half-time with a teaching fellowship that paid tuition and a stipend, and serving as a dorm director half-time that paid room and board and a stipend.
My thoughts about this are derived from my own college years, sending our two kids to college, and having been a professor.
With regard to the latter, my observation was that it’s not ideal for students to work too much—maybe 15-20 hours/week max—or it will start to harm their studies and cause mental and physical stress. This guideline may vary according to family budget or if the student is an athlete or in a very academically demanding school or major. However, working part-time also helps students learn to manage time and money.
We paid for our kids’ tuition, room, board, and books/supplies. Beyond that, we expected them to earn extra spending money. Our younger daughter was not living on campus and needed a car to get around, so we paid those expenses, too.
As a student myself, I had to get by on very little money. My parents paid for tuition and books, and I received $200/month (this was a long time ago) for rent, utilities, food, and anything else. I shared an apartment with three other girls, and we pooled our groceries and took turns cooking dinner for everyone. This turned out to be pretty good life experience, but I’d usually run out of money near the end of a quarter. I learned to eat very, very cheaply and was rail-thin in college. I almost never ate out, went to a movie theater, etc. In hindsight, I would characterize some of that time as a period of food insecurity. I didn’t want my own kids to have to get by on such a tight budget.
I also went to a university that is on the quarter system, and that moves very, very quickly. It is challenging to keep up with a full load of courses and also work, so I usually didn’t. (My father also made it clear that we were to graduate in four years, period. No dillydallying, changing majors, studying abroad.) I did work every summer to earn spending money for the coming year, but that wasn’t always easy, either—summer jobs for college students were pretty scarce where my parents lived. (I also had to live at home during the summers, as my parents wouldn’t pay extra living expenses for me to stay in my college town.)
Dr Lefty,
“I almost never ate out, went to a movie theater, etc.”
Same with me. My big splurge was I allowed myself to buy a album, for what 10 or 15 dollars, once a month.
Over the years did you find that students expect to live a “normal” life with all the amenities and experiences they had when they were growing up and living on their parents dime, or after the graduate and have a full time job after college?
PS When my so was living at home and not going to school he paid us rent. Little did he know that we were keeping it aside and gave it to him when he moved to Deleware for his second try at college.
You may also like to know that it was a history professor that he liked so much at the community college that led to him decide to obtain a degree in history.
As a professor, I felt that students lived much “softer” lives than I had as a student. I remember going to Sunday brunch at a local place right before finals week, and we were surrounded by large groups of students enjoying “bottomless mimosas.” Humph. When I was a student, I was at the library during finals week, and I certainly couldn’t afford brunch. But that’s an “old lady yelling at cloud” kind of observation!
That’s cool about your son. My sister was a history major at UC Davis and my older daughter got her history degree from Cal—inspired by an amazing Advanced Placement US History teacher in high school.
We were not in the same financial situation as you when our kids were in college. Their books and spending money came from their summer jobs and on campus jobs. They did not have cars to take to school until they were seniors. For your situation, I think Mark Crothers had a good reply. Good luck. Chris
My humble take is we have 2 kids in college and provide them with very little financial support other than tuition, books and housing. One who will not eat the campus food gets $100- per week ($150 lately with inflation) in this last semester. It turns out to be a wash instead of purchasing a food plan. For the other, he is on the food plan so he gets zero.
They are expected to work (in the summer or at college) and or save their dollars to supplement their lifestyle. College shouldn’t be comfortable living lavishly on the parents. They should understand the opportunity and earn it with good grades and work. It is part of the “figure it out” that I believe is part of this life learning experience.
My daughter went to college straight out of high school and her spending money was what she made via work study. No car. We were providing a big chunk of money for tuition etc so lifestyle funds had to be earned by her working.
My son went to a local community college for three semesters as back then you had to be a full time student to stay on our health insurance. During this time he stayed at home rent free and worked part time for gas etc as we had given him our old Camry. He then dropped out of school much to our chagrin. Six months later when his cousin, who was more like a brother, graduated from college, and another buddy was discharged from the military so we told him it was time to move out of our house and into a rental with his buddies and face the real world consequences of life style that a minimum wage income supported.
There he met his future wife and year and a half later was in Delaware for her to attend PA school. He applied to UD and was accepted. We agreed to pay off his prior school loans so he could start with a clean financial slate. To pay for his expenses he worked two part time jobs and still was on the Dean’s list each semester. Since we spent the balance of his college funds on a long awaited kitchen renovation there was no longer a kitty to help pay for his final 2+ years of college. He had been told when he dropped out previously those funds would no longer be available for if/when he retuned to college. We agreed to pay for his books only as we were saving heavily for our retirement by then. The only additional cost we paid for was a brake job for the old Camry, which was solely for safety purposes.
My advice is have him work to pay for his own non school expenses and start learning how to be self sufficient.
The first half of my academic career was at a state university that was mostly a commuter campus. Many of the students were like your son—weren’t ready to commit during the traditional 18-22 years old college year but figured out later that they wanted more and went back to school, usually on their own dime (jobs, loans, etc.). I found them to be mature, focused, committed students—they were doing this because they now wanted to, not because it was expected.
Our daughter doesn’t get an allowance, per se, but she has one of our credit cards and uses it as needed.
She has a meal plan that covers some of her food requirements, and she makes the rest of her meals at her dorm room.
She has always had at least three jobs while at college. One as a researcher for two professors, one with a catering company, and she currently works 20 hours a week for an engineering company using her major.
We agreed that most of her earnings would go to her Roth IRA while we’re covering most of her bills, and she covers entertainment, clothes, etc.
This is a typical month’s charges.
3/1/2026 $77.35 Shoprite
3/1/2026 $15.05 Gas
3/8/2026 $33.86 Aldi
3/9/2026 $20.77 Gas
3/11/2026 $17.74 Gas
3/19/2026 $44.81 Trader Joe’s
3/26/2026 $29.17 Gas
3/29/2026 $33.43 Lidl
Total $272.18
This seems less like a math problem and more a question of your own affluence and willingness to pay. Since his essentials (housing, meal plan, insurance) are covered, any allowance is purely for lifestyle. If he hasn’t saved anything since age 15 despite working, providing a generous ‘throttle’ might just subsidize the Uber Eats habit. Perhaps the ‘reasonable amount’ is the bare minimum for gas, leaving him to fund his own incidentals from his own earnings so he finally learns the value of a dollar. It’s a very personal decision and I feel any answers you receive will be personal to the commenter.
This sounds reasonable to me. Chris
Chris, congratulations on the milestone! Our daughter is finishing up her second year at a Georgia college, so I understand the thoughts behind your question. I think the answer is highly personal. Still, here are some thoughts:
Perhaps you could start with comparing the income from his job to the lifestyle it supported. Are you willing to bankroll the same lifestyle? Or, do you think study and the opportunities of campus life can provide him plenty to do with his time, at no extra cost?
You might also divide the money into two buckets, one for fun and the other necessities. Give him the fun money with no strings, but agree ahead of time to pick up the tab for the inevitable unexpected expenses that crop up. The no-strings money is also an excellent life lesson. If he does blow a month’s money the first week, he may be inclined to plan more wisely the following month
Thank you all for taking the time to respond. Your feedback is invaluable, I find it helpful and truly appreciate it!