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WE’RE ALWAYS STRIVING—the next pay raise, the next consumer purchase, the next self-improvement goal. But to what end?
Our time on this earth is fleeting, our impact minimal and our legacy quickly forgotten. A decade after we’re gone, we might be remembered by family and close friends, but not by many others. And yet we keep pushing forward.
Does death’s approach shed any light on this curious behavior? Far from it. If anything, my cancer diagnosis has pushed me to strive even more. You might dismiss this as denial of what’s certain to come or perhaps a desperate grab for control in a world where I no longer have much say over my destiny.
Part Six of Six
Alternatively, you might view this as some mix of selfishness and selflessness. For the religiously inclined, perhaps I’m aiming to leave the world very marginally better for the sake of God’s glory and my own immortal soul. For the more secular, maybe my goal is to ensure my family—and hence my genes—have a better shot at surviving and reproducing.
But while I’m not sure what propels my continued striving, even at this late stage, I know it makes me feel better. As I mentioned last week, accomplishment can deliver great happiness. That brings me to the final article I wrote for The Wall Street Journal before I left in 2008 to work for six years at Citigroup, or what my journalism friends would call “the dark side.”
In that piece, I listed what I felt were the three components of a happy life: a sense of security, the freedom to pursue our passions, and a robust network of friends and family.
We all want slightly different versions of these things, but I believe the hunger for all three is almost universal. Together, they have the potential to leave us feeling safe, fulfilled and happy—innate desires that we carry with us throughout our life.
Do pursuing these three things make the world a better place? Perhaps marginally. They certainly don’t seem like pursuits that should hurt those around us.
Meanwhile, they help to make every day that much sweeter. And ever since I got my cancer diagnosis, that has been my goal: I want every day to be a good day.
Faced with my grim diagnosis, I’ve refused to be angry about my misfortune, or dwell on why I got unlucky, or rail about the years I won’t have. Why waste time on such emotions? Instead, my focus has been on making the most of the days I have left.
No, not every day has been happy. Life’s hassles have a way of intruding, and those hassles have grated even more because my time is short. Meanwhile, deteriorating health is obviously no fun.
On top of that, those around me have bad days, and their distress inevitably taints my waking hours. But I view this unhappiness differently. Unlike the hassle of leaking toilets or the distress of failing health, sadness—whether it’s our own or that of others—is part of the human experience, and adds a richness to it. With shared sadness, we can draw closer to others, and those tighter human connections can make life more meaningful.
Over the decades, I’ve written a lot about money and happiness, and yet “happiness” has always struck me as the wrong word, and academic alternatives like “subjective well-being” and “life satisfaction” don’t seem any better.
Yes, happiness is a key component of a good life, but it’s hardly the only one. Instead, robust happiness encompasses not just laughter and good times, but also feeling fulfilled, a sense of purpose, a passion for life, a sense of contentment, and a feeling we’re engaged with both others and with the broader world. It’s the sense we’re truly alive and focused on what we really want and care about. Such things, I believe, are always worth striving for—even when our time is measured not in decades, but in weeks and months.
Check out the earlier five articles in this six-part series: Money Grows up, Taking Center Stage, Mind Over Money, Taking It Personally and Never Enough.
Jonathan Clements is the founder and editor of HumbleDollar. Follow him on X @ClementsMoney and on Facebook, and check out his earlier articles.
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Well said! Thank You!
Maybe “joy” is the word you’re looking for?
Jonathan, I enjoyed reading your columns in 2006-2010 in the Wall Street Journal. They were the one part of the newspaper I could understand. You were one of the few people I knew of then (Jane Bryant Quinn was another) who wrote for the ordinary person. I kept some of your columns in my nightstand for years. You made sense of financial matters for me then, and you still do. You have never abandoned who you are: I believe you continue to become more and more real, and more and more yourself, as the years go by.
I wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt appreciation for your incredible work at HumbleDollar. Although I only recently discovered your writings, they have profoundly impacted my perspective on life and finances. Your insights are truly game changers, and I am grateful for the wisdom you share.
While it saddens me to learn about your cancer diagnosis, I am inspired by your strength and resilience. Your reflections on living and dying are a testament to the wonderful life you’ve led and the meaningful legacy you continue to create.
Thank you for your honesty and courage in sharing your journey. Your words resonate deeply, and I feel fortunate to have found your work.
Wishing you peace and strength as you navigate this chapter.
Warm regards,
Temesgen Asmelash
Jonathan – I know I’m not the only reader who kept holding my breath with each ensuing paragraph, fearing news of a sudden downturn in your already precarious health status. Thankfully, that paragraph never appeared today.
As I approach the finish line of my work life, I find peace (and joy) in a prolonged period of good health for myself, my wife and our children (it has not always been like this in the past).
Likewise, I am finding that peace and comfort can be found by embracing that slippery concept called “enough”.
Two quotes kept popping up this week in my reading (one was cited by either you or another HD commenter):
“I make myself rich by making my wants few.”― Henry David Thoreau
“Who is rich? Those who are happy with what they have.”
― Rabbi Ben Zoma
As I read this post and the comments, it is heartening to see, in contrast to the world’s current troubles, the ongoing goodness expressed by Jonathan and the HD community.
For me, a faith-based analogy describes the purpose of our lives, simple to state, effortful to accomplish:
A fetus develops eyes, limbs, and so on that are of no use in the womb, but the baby would be severely physically handicapped if born without them. Once born, the person then must develop in oneself love, generosity, a sense of duty, and all the other spiritual capacities, or else the soul will be handicapped after the body dies.
Jonathan:
Thank you once again for keen summary of important aspects of the precisious gift of life. I continue to value your advice and opinion on investing and am more appreciative of the perspective you share on taking full advantage of the gifts we,ve all been offered in our lives.
Thank you for your example in this endeavor and sharing it with us.
Well said my friend. Well said. Your purpose and legacy carry us and you forward together
Jonathan, there is not much more I can add to all the good thoughts your article inspired. Through your own efforts you have brought so much meaning and purpose to your life. But one thing more—I wish you all the love you need.
Five years ago infected by an urge to write, no background no experience….one book published, one coming out soon, three others in the works….why the sudden sense of urgency I cannot explain, no one will read the darn things! (the first and its associated research materials does reside in the Cunard Museum at the University of Liverpool, not sure what they were thinking) As you eloquently point out, something inexplicable within drives us hominids onward to the very end.
“Eudaimonia” is the word that captures what you’re trying to convey (too bad few know what it means). Per wiki, it’s “…a Greek word literally translating to the state or condition of good spirit.”
You might enjoy this article I wrote a few years ago that explores the different notions of happiness:
https://humbledollar.com/2022/09/choosing-happiness/
Jonathan: I felt very sad after reading your article.i felt that you will be gone. i was reading your articles for a long time.I have read every article you wrote in the Wall Street Journal. I learned much from them. Everything I learned about investment is from your articles in the Wall Street Journal. It is difficult to think of a day without you.
My read on this piece is that is about what motivates us, and how this motivation evolves over the course of one’s life.
The motivation can change due to what’s happening to us (for example, Jonathan and his diagnosis), what’s happening to loved ones around us (birth of a grandchild), or the greater world in which we live (donating to fire victims in CA).
I know for myself that as I age, I think more of others, and that doing for others or giving to others (my time or money) provides me with more lasting happiness than experiences or products I purchase for my consumption. Though I certainly enjoy, in most cases, buying things for me.
I’m no saint: just moving along the continuum a bit from purely selfish pursuits to thinking about others more. And finding more and more that it is in giving that we receive, as St. Francis of Assisi said.
Ultimately, it’s about living a good life, however one defines it. My definition may not be yours.
Thanks for the interesting comment. I think you’re right. Early on, I think we are more selfish, buying possessions for ourselves and striving to advance our position in society. With age, we see such things bring limited happiness, and instead we focus more on helping others.
Jonathan, thank you for this. As for “striving”, it seems to vary quite a bit from person to person. Some, like you and, I confess, like me—and probably the majority of HD readers—just can’t sit still for long but need to be doing something on a pretty continual basis. I don’t think it’s because of some grand objective of improving the world or such; rather I think it’s an innate need originating either from genes or early experience and it just can’t be ignored.
But I’ve observed that many others seem perfectly happy to just float along. And I’m not passing judgment—in fact I often envy the “floaters” for their calm acceptance of the staus quo.
I’ll add another innate need which is probably related to the striving: the desire to bring order to the chaos. For me, this is the strongest pull of all. I simply cannot rest when things around me are in a disorganized state, and I spend a lot of time organizing, in one way or another.
My family does get a kick out of my somewhat peculiar ways. When our youngest daughter was a freshman in college, one of her courses was the typical psychology intro offering. She related that one day the professor was discussing the diagnoses found in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). When he got to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, she said she almost shouted out loud, “That’s my dad!”.
So given all that, you can understand my deep admiration of your efforts to organize and simplify your affairs for the benefit of your family. I likewise see this as my last, and likely most important, organizational project. You are inspiring me to get started sooner rather than later.
Before reading through the comments posted before mine, the word “joy” came to mind. Clearly, Jonathan, despite your diagnosis and the associated difficulties, you are still able to experience both joy and gratitude. Not everyone can easily experience joy, but striving to appreciate the good things in our lives and not to focus on the negatives is a worthwhile daily goal, though not one we can always achieve. There will be bad days sometimes but let’s hope for mostly good ones.
I appreciate your carrying on the conversation with your readers. Reevaluating one’s life occasionally is a worthy goal, assuming it doesn’t lead to undue suffering at what one has wrought.
I’ve been working on the highest level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization, since my teenage years. Or as much as society’s requirements permitted it. Our money based culture has been very successful overall in terms of material wealth, and I very much appreciate my standard of living, but it takes its toll on the people it uses to achieve that wealth.
Once I realized that the goal of advertising is to make people feel unhappy and unfulfilled and to fill that void with advertised goods and services I’ve avoided it as much as possible. Advertisers were using me as a pawn and I got angry once that became clear.
I had an unconventional upbringing with a psychologist father so I grew up looking at our culture different than most. I appreciate the positive aspects of living in America, and there are many relative to most of the world, while guarding against its corrosive aspects.
Beautiful thoughts.
As an 83 year old secularist, definitions of happiness, security, friendship can can be defined for each individual. I believe that a person’s ‘comfort zone’ includes all that matters. I found that to be true during the many years my now deceased wife spent with a deteriorating disability. She was a believer, and even though I was not when we were married in our 20s, we accommodated each other within our comfort zones. Never once in our 51 years together were we concerned that religious beliefs matter in the comfort of each other. Even as a non-believer, I would sing the lord’s prayer to her when she asked, and I would buy her prayer books that she wanted. When we lived near Orlando, I took her to Benny Hinn prayer service, even though I strongly believe he is a money- grabber. Comfort zone is different for each person, so what matters is maintaining peace within any family and amongst friends. Our children are believers, but we are very close. Comfort zones are what we should acknowledge, and leave people to live their lives, once they allow you to live yours.
Jonatan, thanks for this thoughtful series of articles. I’ll second (and third?) Edmund and P Town, that this article, and series deserves our time and rumination. I’m intrigued with the concept of wisdom, and its relationship to happiness. This series has eloquently discussed a philosophy of what a good/happy/meaningful life might look like. But it doesn’t prescribe how to achieve this. It’s up to us to figure out what makes us feel “truly alive and focused on what we really want and care about”.
One of the best parts of HumbleDollar is the chance to read about, and get to know, the wide array of contributors who share how they have achieved not only their financial success, but also what a meaningful life means to them.
Thank you for another heartfelt and thought-provoking commentary. I agree with Edmond wholeheartedly: it’s another one of your articles that deserves rereading and rumination. From my perspective, there is no doubt: you’re making the world a better place. A sincere thanks.
These thoughts deserve rereading and rumination, an effort to grasp the full meaning. You are uniquely prepared to offer them. Thank you.
Ed, I reread nearly all of the paragraphs along the way. Lots to ponder in JC’s relativity short article.
As a Veteran and the daughter of a Veteran, I find happiness includes the sense that one has done or is doing their duty. Whether duty to country or family or whatever cause is important to a person.
Happy wife, Happy life. Sorry, that’s the first thing that came to mind but this goes so much further in describing “what its all about”.
Those 3 thoughts from your final WSJ piece sum it up very well. They note the things that are very important to achieve “happiness” or a sense of well-being or fulfillment. Are we too focused on Striving to improve/ achieve/ accomplish the next goal? I don’t think so. To me, it’s having things to look forward to…the next family vacation (just got back yesterday), getting together with friends, pursuing a hobby or interest,learning something new or acquiring a new skill. Yes, our pursuits to achieve things changes as we transition from career to middle age to retirement as does our timeline to accomplish them but what would life be like without them? Having something positive and joyful to wake up to each day (including new posts like yours and others on HumbleDollar) gives me a better outlook to get through the day and weeks and months ahead, especially not knowing how many there will be.
I’m up early today and off to watch my 6 year old grandson’s Mites hockey game. Maybe one day he will be playing in a game like that great 4 Nation hockey tournament final…we can all dream!
Thank you for the reminder of how simple but yet how hard happiness is to achieve some time. One of my favorite quotes is “sometimes life doesn’t turn out like you want, but some days, days like this, It comes pretty close.”
The Christian community often describes your definition of “robust happiness” as “joy.” The best life is lived “joyfully” despite the inevitable ups and downs of happiness levels along life’s journey. But when you’ve “lost your joy,” life can certainly drag you down.
Glad to know you are living these trying days in your life’s journey with both joy and robust happiness!