Thrifty but Spending

I DON’T LIKE SPENDING, though the older I get, the more I loosen the purse strings. Still, I rarely enjoy spending money. I think I got this from my mother and grandparents.

My grandparents reused Christmas tree tinsel year after year. My grandfather removed every strand—made of metal back then—and placed it in a box for the following year. My grandparents also had two sets of rugs, one for winter and the other—made of woven rattan—for summer. That was to preserve the “good” rugs.

Both my mother and grandmother reused aluminum foil and plastic wrap. Nothing was ever purchased unless it could be paid for with cash. My parents couldn’t afford to buy a house when I was growing up. I wonder if this was the cause of my mother’s concern with spending.

My mother once sold my father’s toy train engine, which he’d had since age 10, for $100. She was 11 when the Great Depression hit, so she may have been affected in ways I can’t understand.

In any case, I was influenced by their habits. After I’ve accumulated money in, say, a savings or investment account, I hate to see the balance drop.

What if the money isn’t earmarked for savings, but rather for spending? Before I spend a penny, I need to know where the money is coming from. I like to accumulate money for designated purposes. Once the money is there, I can easily spend it for the intended purpose.

One of our bank accounts is labeled “travel.” If Connie and I go to Florida this winter or if we’re able to travel again, I’ll have no trouble spending that money. I’d be happy to get a suite on a ship, or fly first class, or stay in a nice hotel. On the other hand, if the same amount of money sat in an account designated “contingencies,” I’d conclude there was no money to travel.

I find my money mood is affected by the stock market. I feel less restrained in my spending if our investments have increased in value. I feel the opposite when our investments decline, even though there’s no connection between our investments and the money we live on and spend.

I think I’m affected by a financial bipolar disorder, if there’s such a thing. If our portfolio rises sharply, I feel overly comfortable. Meanwhile, when a bad market day shocks me, I find myself looking up the difference between our portfolio’s value a year ago and its value today. That usually makes me happy again.

These days, I find it much easier to simply give money away. We tip generously and in cash. We’ve increased charitable donations, including using qualified charitable distributions from our IRAs. But my greatest satisfaction comes from helping family.

It’s not a matter of throwing money at them, but helping them get past financial emergencies and perhaps help them avoid future stress. When the washer or dryer goes, or bats invade the attic, or major car repairs pop up, or health bills overwhelm a family member, why wouldn’t we help?