I'm a generous tipper, but refuse to tip for ordinary cashier transactions/counter service or when buying items from employees who are paid regular wages. It HAS gotten out of hand. Everyone has their jar out now.
"A 2024 study found when it comes to sit-down restaurants, 71% of women and only 63% of men always tip. 35% of Gen Zers always tip when dining in, compared to 56% of millennials, 78% of Gen Xers and 86% of baby boomers. I found these percentages shocking." I find it disgusting - I can't imagine people sitting down in a full service restaurant in the US and intentionally leaving without tipping anything. I'm sure most here will disagree, but I call these people low lifes - and bet few ever had to work for a living serving the public. It's actually sad, because I'm older and tip 20-25% as long as the service is fairly decent, but seeing the above survey results, I now have to assume the average server isn't very intelligent. Because I often see them lavish more attention on the younger guests as a rule. They wrongly assume older people don't tip well.
The older I get, the less I like all the options and choices. For serial overthinkers like me, every decision feels excruciating - and requires way too much time and work. After decades of wasting way too much precious life energy on unimportant decisions - especially shopping for "stuff", I'm finally learning to pick my battles and accept "good enough" on anything that won't impact my life in a major way.
"When the washer or dryer goes, or bats invade the attic, or major car repairs pop up, or health bills overwhelm a family member, why wouldn’t we help?" Just wondering: when you talk about helping family members, does this include extended family? Cousins, nephews, nieces, etc? I have several extended family members that always seem to need money for house repairs, cars, paying bills - and seem to feel all the older members of their extended family should be happy to help. I'm not all that close to these folks, other than seeing them on holidays, and admit I resent being asked. But feel guilty if I refuse. Sigh.
Money = security to me. It's not about things or experiences I can buy with it. It's to keep me "safe" in a dangerous world that can be cold and cruel to those without financial resources. History is filled with stories of dangerous regimes where desperate families cannot buy their children's way out to safety - they didn't have enough $$$ to bribe the right people. Those falsely accused of a crime who can't afford a top lawyer often put their lives in the hands of an inexperienced or overwhelmed public defender with expected results. Too many dire healthcare examples: outcomes of a top doc, surgeon, oncologist vs those in a very restricted HMO network. Every time I spend, I feel like I lose a bit more life safety. I recognize that this is a dysfunctional mindset and I'm striving to overcome it.
Thank you - another great article with many insightful comments. I share a counterpoint on one snippet: "Do I feel like I’ve accomplished everything that I wanted with my career? For many of us, the answer is likely to be “no,” because very few of us ever feel truly satisfied." Many Americans have jobs, not "careers". They do the same tasks every day for decades. Another 8 hours of pushing a mop, installing drywall, unclogging toilets, answering phones, ringing orders, helping patients eat, dress or toilet. Same thing. Every day. For 30-40 years. "Accomplishments" or feeling truly "satisfied" may be a pretty foreign concept.They just want OUT. Now I do realize they're probably not HD's main target audience, but many likely need retirement advice too. If they stumble across most retirement articles I see out there, I bet it's a bit tougher for them to relate to the content.
Since 2020, I've seen pet food and litter more than double in cost and independent veterinarians are selling to private equity firms, driving care costs out of control. It's sad...I'm reading articles about how many seniors and families are forced to give up their pets because they just can't afford to care for them anymore. Shelters are packed.
I adore animals: always had pets. Each has had different health issues or mishaps that required periodic vet care. But costs are crazy high now! Private equity firms swallowed up almost every vet in my area. Just like dental & medical - prices skyrocketed for even basic care - let alone anything complex like surgery or disease treatment/mgmt. I experienced a huge price runup before losing my last baby. Can't risk the financial hits to adopt another companion. Couldn't bear the heart-rending decision to choose between a $10-20k+ operation that cuts into retirement security or putting a beloved pet down too soon. (And lest anyone here thinks I'm exaggerating, I know many that have paid fees running multiple thousands for every mishap or issue now.) I considered pet insurance, but not seeing the value, given all the troubling "gotchya" fine print exclusions I'm reading.
There's a passage from the NYT best seller, "The Last Lecture" co-authored by the late Randy Pausch, Carnegie Mellon professor and Jeffrey Zaslow, WSJ writer, similar to Jonathan's mindset. Randy's local supermarket overcharged him $20 - a pretty big discrepancy. He noticed after checking out, but saw a line at customer service. Thought about it for a moment and just walked out. He was frugal throughout his life and would have certainly stood in that line ordinarily. But his recent terminal diagnosis had altered his perspective on the value of money vs time. The store could keep their $20! If anyone here hasn't read The Last Lecture, I strongly recommend it. Wonderful book.
I agree I shouldn't judge. But I also have zero patience for people in self-created situations that complain and blame the world: the boss, the "boomers" who had it way better (ha!); the other side of the political aisle and everyone else except the guy/gal in the mirror. Nothing is ever their fault. The taxpayers who didn't go to college or who worked to paid off their own loans should pay theirs. They should be able to skip exercise and overindulge on bad foods, while enjoying unlimited free health insurance that also includes generous copays and benefits. They dismiss 401ks and planning for the future while filling social feeds with trips and shiny things, then are angry that social security isn't enough to live on. There's a HUGE sense of entitlement that we must stop indulging. I promise not to judge others' poor habits if they promise to stop blaming the rest of the world as their default reflex.
Comments:
I'm a generous tipper, but refuse to tip for ordinary cashier transactions/counter service or when buying items from employees who are paid regular wages. It HAS gotten out of hand. Everyone has their jar out now.
Post: There are a few topics that heat up discussions, Quinn says tipping is one of them.
Link to comment from November 24, 2024
"A 2024 study found when it comes to sit-down restaurants, 71% of women and only 63% of men always tip. 35% of Gen Zers always tip when dining in, compared to 56% of millennials, 78% of Gen Xers and 86% of baby boomers. I found these percentages shocking." I find it disgusting - I can't imagine people sitting down in a full service restaurant in the US and intentionally leaving without tipping anything. I'm sure most here will disagree, but I call these people low lifes - and bet few ever had to work for a living serving the public. It's actually sad, because I'm older and tip 20-25% as long as the service is fairly decent, but seeing the above survey results, I now have to assume the average server isn't very intelligent. Because I often see them lavish more attention on the younger guests as a rule. They wrongly assume older people don't tip well.
Post: There are a few topics that heat up discussions, Quinn says tipping is one of them.
Link to comment from November 24, 2024
The older I get, the less I like all the options and choices. For serial overthinkers like me, every decision feels excruciating - and requires way too much time and work. After decades of wasting way too much precious life energy on unimportant decisions - especially shopping for "stuff", I'm finally learning to pick my battles and accept "good enough" on anything that won't impact my life in a major way.
Post: Paradox of choice. What to do, what to do?
Link to comment from November 9, 2024
"When the washer or dryer goes, or bats invade the attic, or major car repairs pop up, or health bills overwhelm a family member, why wouldn’t we help?" Just wondering: when you talk about helping family members, does this include extended family? Cousins, nephews, nieces, etc? I have several extended family members that always seem to need money for house repairs, cars, paying bills - and seem to feel all the older members of their extended family should be happy to help. I'm not all that close to these folks, other than seeing them on holidays, and admit I resent being asked. But feel guilty if I refuse. Sigh.
Post: Thrifty but Spending
Link to comment from November 9, 2024
Money = security to me. It's not about things or experiences I can buy with it. It's to keep me "safe" in a dangerous world that can be cold and cruel to those without financial resources. History is filled with stories of dangerous regimes where desperate families cannot buy their children's way out to safety - they didn't have enough $$$ to bribe the right people. Those falsely accused of a crime who can't afford a top lawyer often put their lives in the hands of an inexperienced or overwhelmed public defender with expected results. Too many dire healthcare examples: outcomes of a top doc, surgeon, oncologist vs those in a very restricted HMO network. Every time I spend, I feel like I lose a bit more life safety. I recognize that this is a dysfunctional mindset and I'm striving to overcome it.
Post: Thrifty but Spending
Link to comment from November 9, 2024
Thank you - another great article with many insightful comments. I share a counterpoint on one snippet: "Do I feel like I’ve accomplished everything that I wanted with my career? For many of us, the answer is likely to be “no,” because very few of us ever feel truly satisfied." Many Americans have jobs, not "careers". They do the same tasks every day for decades. Another 8 hours of pushing a mop, installing drywall, unclogging toilets, answering phones, ringing orders, helping patients eat, dress or toilet. Same thing. Every day. For 30-40 years. "Accomplishments" or feeling truly "satisfied" may be a pretty foreign concept.They just want OUT. Now I do realize they're probably not HD's main target audience, but many likely need retirement advice too. If they stumble across most retirement articles I see out there, I bet it's a bit tougher for them to relate to the content.
Post: Before You Quit
Link to comment from October 27, 2024
Since 2020, I've seen pet food and litter more than double in cost and independent veterinarians are selling to private equity firms, driving care costs out of control. It's sad...I'm reading articles about how many seniors and families are forced to give up their pets because they just can't afford to care for them anymore. Shelters are packed.
Post: Retirement Pets by Ken Cutler
Link to comment from October 27, 2024
I adore animals: always had pets. Each has had different health issues or mishaps that required periodic vet care. But costs are crazy high now! Private equity firms swallowed up almost every vet in my area. Just like dental & medical - prices skyrocketed for even basic care - let alone anything complex like surgery or disease treatment/mgmt. I experienced a huge price runup before losing my last baby. Can't risk the financial hits to adopt another companion. Couldn't bear the heart-rending decision to choose between a $10-20k+ operation that cuts into retirement security or putting a beloved pet down too soon. (And lest anyone here thinks I'm exaggerating, I know many that have paid fees running multiple thousands for every mishap or issue now.) I considered pet insurance, but not seeing the value, given all the troubling "gotchya" fine print exclusions I'm reading.
Post: Retirement Pets by Ken Cutler
Link to comment from October 27, 2024
There's a passage from the NYT best seller, "The Last Lecture" co-authored by the late Randy Pausch, Carnegie Mellon professor and Jeffrey Zaslow, WSJ writer, similar to Jonathan's mindset. Randy's local supermarket overcharged him $20 - a pretty big discrepancy. He noticed after checking out, but saw a line at customer service. Thought about it for a moment and just walked out. He was frugal throughout his life and would have certainly stood in that line ordinarily. But his recent terminal diagnosis had altered his perspective on the value of money vs time. The store could keep their $20! If anyone here hasn't read The Last Lecture, I strongly recommend it. Wonderful book.
Post: Getting Rolled by Jonathan Clements
Link to comment from September 21, 2024
I agree I shouldn't judge. But I also have zero patience for people in self-created situations that complain and blame the world: the boss, the "boomers" who had it way better (ha!); the other side of the political aisle and everyone else except the guy/gal in the mirror. Nothing is ever their fault. The taxpayers who didn't go to college or who worked to paid off their own loans should pay theirs. They should be able to skip exercise and overindulge on bad foods, while enjoying unlimited free health insurance that also includes generous copays and benefits. They dismiss 401ks and planning for the future while filling social feeds with trips and shiny things, then are angry that social security isn't enough to live on. There's a HUGE sense of entitlement that we must stop indulging. I promise not to judge others' poor habits if they promise to stop blaming the rest of the world as their default reflex.
Post: We can’t control what others do and we can’t stop misfortune from striking. But we can control our own actions. Those who are financially prudent will most likely enjoy success, even if events don’t always go their way.
Link to comment from September 15, 2024