MY WIFE AND I HAD intended to live in our single-family home for the rest of our lives. We remodeled several times so we could age in place, and we were confident we were all set for the future.
We knew life could change in an instant. We just didn’t think it would happen to us. My wife fell at home four years ago and suffered a traumatic brain injury. After six months in hospitals and rehab, followed by more than two years of occupational therapy, physical therapy and speech language pathology, she’s recovered pretty well.
Still, my wife lost her vision on her left side, so she can no longer see well enough to drive safely. Life isn’t the same, but it’s close enough.
Meanwhile, my health issues started 50 years ago with the first of four back surgeries. The last one, in 2019, was extensive. It left me pain-free but with weakness on one side and a foot drop. I’m lucky if I can walk a mile in 30 minutes.
My future includes a light travel scooter, which arrived a few days ago. It’ll allow me to venture out more and keep up with the crowd. It doesn’t do stairs, however.
Several years ago, Marriott Corp. sold its headquarters building and 33-acre campus in Bethesda, Maryland, to Erickson Senior Living. Erickson planned to build a continuing care retirement community with high-rise buildings on a small urban campus just 10 minutes from our house. We were uninterested.
That was a mistake. In my research into helping my wife, I kept seeing articles suggesting how important it is to remain active and socialize frequently. At the same time, I often heard my wife complain that we had nothing planned for the weekend. In the past, I’d left it to her to organize our social life.
In addition, we often discussed what would happen when one or both of us needed more medical services for our physical or mental health. We’re in our late 70s and want to control our living situation without the help of our children, who have their own ideas about our future.
When my wife and I had our own eldercare responsibilities, we’d managed to keep our parents in their homes, with help from a premier local home-care company. For my wife and me, the goal is to always be together. In 2020, we were separated for six months during COVID-19, and didn’t want to experience that again.
One day, after a doctor’s visit, we saw they’d started demolishing the Marriott headquarters. We decided to check out the new senior living community, called The Grandview, a continuing care retirement community formed under Maryland state laws.
To our surprise, we were very, very late to the party. At our introductory meeting, we learned that there were over 400 names on the waiting list. We immediately added ourselves by making a $1,000 fully refundable deposit.
As we learned more about the project, we felt we’d made a terrible mistake by not acting sooner. We should have been more flexible with our aging-in-place plans. It caused us to ignore other options.
Erickson’s plan is for 1,100 apartments. The first two buildings are 14-story high rises with around 250 apartments each. All the amenities essential to me were located in the first building, which would be ready in the fall of 2025. I started to panic. I needed to be in the first building, but the math was against us.
In the first week of June, two months after they began accepting reservations, it was our turn to select an apartment. Five floorplans met our needs, and we wanted to be on one of the higher floors. One unit was almost perfect but the kitchen cabinets were not the right color. Yet the alternative was an extra $500,000 for one of the largest apartments available. Long story short, we reserved an apartment we’d ranked as our third choice and which was on the seventh floor. We expect to move in next year, when the building is finished.
My wife and I have learned we must be better planners. Staying in our single-family home was becoming isolating, even though it met our current needs for shelter and mobility. But we hadn’t thought enough about our future care needs.
Now, I advise friends to research what sort of community might work for them—and to place their names on a waiting list. It could be years before a spot opens up. If one does, take it. If not, keep your name on the list for the next opportunity.
Richard Hayman is a second-generation family business owner and inventor with three patents. He studied engineering at Cornell University and received a master’s degree from George Washington University. After his family’s business was purchased by a public company in 1999, Richard went on to enjoy several additional careers. He’s also been a STEM instructor for middle and high school students in after-school technology programs. Check out Richard’s previous articles.
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I’m not there yet – just turned 50. But thinking about it for the “what ifs” in life. Thanks for the article.
So, let me start this by saying I think CCRCs are good in concept, and my wife and I will certainly consider them in the future, but there are some aspects that may not be apparent to those without direct experience.
My parents are in a CCRC, for about 5 years now, and have just transitioned from a single apartment to assisted living and nursing care, due to different health concerns for each.
The CCRC they are in is non-profit, and, based my and my siblings multiple visits and meetings with the staff and management, I believe it to be well run and in good financial shape.
I think it is important to understand though, that when one moves in to a CCRC, generally, you give some power over when and where you transition within the CCRC to the CCRC directors, i.e. ,you give up some of your rights of self-determination.
So, let’s say you think you are competent and able stay in your current CCRC apartment. If the directors decide otherwise (due to physical and cognitive abilities), you are likely going to have to move. The other option would be to leave, and perhaps forfeit your initiation fee.
Once again, I am not against CCRCs, but a contract is a contract, and should be reviewed carefully to ensure you are willing to abide by its terms, especially if the circumstance arises where you and management might disagree in the future.
Joe, you read the contract! Thanks for stressing how important that is. You set a great example.
Fortunately, the contract doesn’t suggest you have no choice. You pointed out you always have the choice to leave the community. Drastic as it sounds, it remains an option.
I can appreciate their view. What is good for the community is good for you. What is good for you, may or may not, be good for the community. For-profit or non-profit is not the issue; good management is.
Nothing is perfect nor guaranteed. I advise people to read the small print and make the best decision they can.
Speaking of a patient disagreeing with management. I remember difficult conversations with my dad about driving. When he was 93, he was hit by an elderly driver. He was on his handicap scooter in a crosswalk. I never thought about taking away those keys.
Richard, glad that you & your wife found a new place after coming through some very serious health challenges & that you are both doing better now. Because there is a serious shortage of CCRCs, it seems compromises have to be made for those who may want to move to one. I just saw this article recently in the WSJ. I know many of the readers are WSJ readers also, but some may not be.
How to Vet the Financials of a Continuing-Care Retirement Community – WSJ
Margaret,
Fabulous article. Thank you for sharing it. I now know what committee to serve on.
My friend’s parents went into one of these facility and it was fantastic for them. The moved into an apartment, then later downsized as they ages, all in the same facility. However it was very advantageous for them to have a son that was keeping an eye out for them in regards to some contract (typically is is not just paying rent but an agreement to pay a substantial sum up front and on-going payments – so these contracts can be complex) issues and meds. So of you have someone that can “look out for your” brief them on your contract and hopefully they will visit on a regular basis to check in on you, vs. depending on the good-will of the provider.
Thank you. This is a very important issue that too many seniors don’t take seriously enough.
Given the diminishment in large extended families to help seniors age in place, most of us will have to make hard decisions about to whether to try to age in place or move to a some sort of senior living arrangement. Both of these option can work, but both have their own drawbacks.
Aging in place has long been a preferred arrangement, but it is virtually impossible to accomplish without family help, or paid assistance. This arrangement can provide a more comfortable and familiar living experience, but it can also be very isolating and may not address a senior’s increasing health needs over time. Hired help can also be a problem as their training or experience may be limited, and without good supervison, personal and financial abuse by a caretaker can occur. Also, in home care is not always cheaper and seniors with limited financial resources may soon exhaust what few resources they have.
Insitutional living arrangements are increasing, with many offering tertiary levels of care. The cost, however, is also rising rapidly, while the supply of new facilities lags the demand by the rising number of retired Boomers. The key to securing a place in “Villa d”Senior” is to get your name on a waiting list sooner rather than later, before illness or accident might otherwise exclude you.
In my experience, too many seniors are dithering about making a choice of where to live next, and by the time they finally decide, many options may no longer be available to them.
I have recently been watching YouTube videos by Peter Attia, a longevity doctor who wrote Outlive and who promotes exercise and preventative health to increase healthspan. Two things struck me about the data: 1-the drop at 75 in physical capability and the frequency and severity of falls in older folks-if I am not mistaken, he stated that 30% of people over 65 who fall and break their femur or hip will die within in a year and of the remaining 50%, only half will fully recover their capabilities. As dog parents, my wife were stunned to learn that the gentleman who just won the Westminster Dog show before retiring at 65, recently died after a fall and traumatic brain injury. Here is a link to one Attia video: Stay Young Forever: The #1 Thing For Overall Health & Longevity Is This… | Peter Attia (youtube.com)
Erickson Senior Living only gets a 3.5/5 rating (1.8K reviews) as a place to work on Indeed. While there are many positive reviews, the negative reviews, especially those by health care, security and food service employees, are such that I doubt I would be willing to live in one of their communities.
Here is a recent review:
Serious lack of training I was hired as charge nurse of 2 different units. I was promised over and over that I would get plenty of training to get acclimated to the facility….I was left alone in charge of dozens of residents with 1 week of training under my belt….I ended up leaving this job after 30 days. Completely unacceptable and unsafe to provide inadequate training in this type of environment for this type of role.
https://www.indeed.com/cmp/Erickson-Senior-Living/reviews/serious-lack-of-training?id=4108006be04ad56e
As for state regulation, I would hope that all CCRNs in Maryland are subject to state regulations. I know that here in NY the New York State Department of Health has oversight responsibility for the certification and operation of both continuing care retirement communities and fee-for-service continuing care retirement communities. https://www.health.ny.gov/facilities/long_term_care/retirement_communities/continuing_care/
Yes, hiring the best employees and training them well is a subject near and dear to my heart. This is even more difficult when the wages are low and the cost of living is high.
Fortunately, I have a plan B. I met during the 1990’s a mother and son who owned a wonderful home health care agency. We all joined a local family business forum at American University. The son in his mid 20’s at the time was hoping to take over his mother’s business. His mom was one of the most passionate business leaders I had ever met.
It’s been nearly 30 years that they have been helping our friends and family with in-home care. That’s a long time and one would expect some variability in the level of care. The son has done an amazing job of improving on what his mother started. We built a team to care for my wife over the past 4 years. 24-7 care required 6 caregivers to cover all the shifts. Only one did not meet our expectations. We now have just one who works 58 hours a week. Remarkably, she was also the first to care for her when she was in an acute rehabilitation hospital during COVID-19 over 4 years ago.
We plan to continue their services when we move into independent living. Actually, no matter our level of future care, memory or skilled nursing, we will have the option to enhance care with our own caregivers. I’m sure we will be one of the few to have assisted living in an independent apartment.
In my experience with Indeed and other employment sites, a 3.5/5 score is on the higher side across all businesses. I find that somewhat sad. We had a family business my dad started in 1938. I joined in 1970, my brother in 1974, my wife in 1985, and my daughter in 1988. We bought the business from my dad in 1982. In 1999 it was purchased by a public company. They hired every employee except one. The point being is that our employees were exceptional and built a great company. I learned the value of giving great training to those with the best attitudes and aptitudes. No exceptions, each employee was highly valued.
Trusting others to provide important personal services is easier when you can develop relationships with upper management and those who directly interact with you. Risk can be managed and mitigated.
To get the best from others, you have respect, like, and trust them. You also have to treat them well. I still have that family-business mentality. We are lucky to be surrounded by people we can count on.
So far, every person I’ve met at Erickson is exceptional. That gives me hope that many others will be too. My interviews with residents in other Erickson communities were surprisingly promising. Is there a risk, absolutely. However, the risk is acceptable.
I know we are very fortunate to be a position to have great choices. I’ll give that credit to our parents who had great expectations for their children. They worked hard to instill important values and taught us to live well within our means. It was a gift we passed on to our children.
Then again, the Newsweek ranking of the top 250 senior living communities in the country includes several Erickson properties. I wouldn’t choose a community based only on Newsweek, but nor would I let an Indeed ranking alone stop me from living there.
Richard, thanks for the nice article. Glad it’s worked out for you.
The comment I made about my redistributing this article should have been better stated. I suggest the author submit it to a much wider general circulation magazine such as Readers Digest. It is read by many older people.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I was not familiar with Erickson but I checked the web site. It appears to be a for-profit enterprise, and the Grandview does not commit to keep you if you run out of money. It would not have made my list of possibilities on that basis, but it seems you did not have a lot of choice. I hope you checked the financials carefully, as wikipedia tells me that an earlier version of Erickson went through bankruptcy.
Yes, Grandview does commit to keeping you should you run out of money. Thank you for bringing up that important point. Erickson also now has quite a bit of cash available to continue growing. Their HQ is not far from here. All CCRCs are regulated by the state. I feel we are in good hands. We have minimized our risks, but the risk is never zero.
Our project is being built in phases based on demand. We’ve met many people who have been with the company for over a decade. If we run into trouble, I’ll write about it.
This article is difficult emotionally for me to read; but the advice is really good. Can I have the author’s permission to redistribute this article into wider circulation but attribute it to the author?
Philip, I’m happy to give you permission. Please also pass this by Jonathan as I do not know his policy.
Feel free to send the article’s URL to anyone you wish. If you print out the article for folks, please make sure that both the author’s byline and HumbleDollar appear on the printout.
Thank you for sharing that powerful story, Richard. We all understand on an intellectual level that a single moment can impact our lives, priorities and decisions forever, but you’ve actually experienced it. Congratulations on successfully executing your course change and finding the right situation for you and your wife.
And Mazel Tov on being pain-free. Nothing matters more.
We just moved into the house we hope to die in. Your very personal story brings up some very inconvenient truths that I will not forget. Thanks for posting this and best of luck moving forward.
One of you may well achieve that goal, but what about the surviving spouse?
That is the $64,000 question. Having experienced separation for six months without visits due to COVID, it is a major concern. And it’s a tough one to figure it out. It was one of our main reasons for choosing to move while we can. But we always said, if one of us dies, the other must move. But we never discussed where.
I can relate to much of what you say. We live on the 2nd floor of a three story 55+ condo and there have been several occasions over the last several years when the elevator has been down for repairs.
The people with walkers or a wheelchair are trapped in their condos, on one occasion over a weekend. Just something to think about.
Hope you have better luck.
We have the same concern in our condo. We live on the fourth floor. There have been elevator outages in our building and other buildings. One last eight days (in another building), and people with mobility issues were pretty much trapped. Definitely something to think about. We can manage the stairs fine right now, but what about 10-20 years from now?
It sounds like you made a good decision to get your name on the list when you did. Also, you will only be 10 minutes from your current home, allowing you to keep a social system in place while at the same time make new connections. Hope the transition, when it happens, will be smooth for you!
Mark, best of luck to you and your wife. I know many of us want to stay as independent as possible for as long as possible, and stay in our homes. But I wonder when is the right time to start considering other arrangements. I took a pretty bad fall a few months ago. Luckily just scrapes, bumps and bruises, but it could have been much worse.
Rick, surviving any fall in our later years is aways a miracle. My wife went from full-time care to 60 hours a week. We will have an aide when we move—the best of all worlds: assisted living in our independent living apartment, as we had for our parents.
As Richard discovered, waitlists can be long and are getting longer. In my area signing up in your early to mid-sixties would be prudent. At least in my state deposits tend to be low and refundable and at my CCRC you can stay at the top of the waitlist, once you get there, until you are ready to move.