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MY PARENTS WERE products of the Great Depression. Dad was the frugal one. He was also a pack rat. He’d save pieces of wood for that shelf that he would build “someday.” For years, those pieces sat under the ping-pong table in the basement.
One night, Mom dragged the wood out to the street for the garbage collector to haul away. Later that night, Dad dragged the pieces back into the basement. Mom was the type to get rid of things that were no longer needed. I wish I’d taken after Mom. I’m glad, though, that I took after Dad when it came to saving and frugality.
When I was growing up on Long Island, New York, my parents never talked about our family’s financial situation. It seemed like we were lower-middle class. Dad would follow us three kids around the house, turning off lights and tightening bathroom taps. Later, after my parents died, my sister, my brother and I found out that they had more money than we thought. This was true even though both Mom and Dad died during the Great Recession, when the value of their investments was down significantly.
Dad never knew his father, who disappeared during the Depression. We don’t know whether he deserted the family, died or was killed. He likely deserted, leaving his wife and their three young boys to fend for themselves. Dad had a grandfather that filled in, but it made Dad determined to be a good provider for his kids, especially his son.
When I asked Dad if I could go to Columbia or Fordham University, both private institutions, he told me, “No, your brother’s education comes first because he’s a man and someday he will have to support a family.” I guess I can’t complain since he paid for my undergraduate education at the State University of New York at Albany. Still, the message was clear: My education wasn’t as important because I was female.
My mother wanted me to be a secretary, get married, have children and live close by. Instead, after I graduated, I moved 3,000 miles across the country to California and joined the police department.
My father taught me two important financial lessons. First, save, save, save. Second, get a government job because you’ll get a defined benefit pension. Other than that, I didn’t know much. Indeed, at a local bank, I bought class B mutual fund shares, which impose a back-end sales charge when sold. I also funded IRAs starting in 1985, but for years I made the mistake of investing my IRA in bank certificates of deposit. I would have done much better in the S&P 500.
Over time, I learned about financial planning. I followed Jonathan Clements’s column in The Wall Street Journal. I eagerly learned from Warren Buffett. Eventually, I came to appreciate the virtues of index funds and Roth IRAs. Starting in 2002, I converted a significant portion of my traditional IRAs to Roth IRAs. For that, I’m eternally grateful to my younger self.
But there’s one thing I wish my younger self had understood better.
Women had only been accepted into the police department in 1975. I joined in 1980, and the police still weren’t very accepting of women. If I’d washed out of the department quickly, my plan B was to become a paramedic. That would have got me to my current job—to which I’m much better suited—far faster. But at the time, giving up on police work would have felt like a devastating failure. The lesson: Sometimes, failure can be the best thing to happen to you.
After I didn’t make detective, I became bored and wanted another job. I applied to the Peace Corps but was told I had no skills that the Corps could use. I asked what they were looking for and they said medical skills.
As a police officer, I often went to hospitals to interview victims and suspects. I felt comfortable there and was intrigued by all that was going on. It had been a while since I graduated college. At the time, math and science courses weren’t required to graduate. I decided to take beginning math and science courses at the local community college while continuing to work fulltime. It wasn’t easy.
Still, I found that I really liked the course work and it liked me—I was good at it. I transferred to a local four-year college to finish my pre-med courses and, after that, I applied to medical school. By then, I had quit the police department.
At age 41, getting into medical school was difficult. Most schools wouldn’t accept applicants over 30. But there were two University of California schools that had a reputation for being open to “mature” students. One of them accepted me.
I became a medical intern—the first year of my residency—at the University of California, San Diego, at age 45. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Then, at 50, I decided to enter an infectious disease fellowship program back in New York. In hindsight, the benefits I received didn’t justify the hefty costs involved—the lost wages, the hours on call, the humiliation dished out by the “attending” physicians during hospital rounds.
Up until 2010, when I finished my medical training, the most I earned in a year was $60,000. But once I became an attending (or unsupervised) physician myself, my income rose. Even though I’d used most of my savings to pay for medical school, I’d still accumulated $30,000 in student loans—which I was now able to pay off.
Except for the fortuitous Roth conversions, I really didn’t start amassing money for retirement until my late 40s. Since becoming an attending physician, I’ve contributed the maximum to various retirement accounts, as I try to catch up. That’s why it’s so annoying when I hear, “You’re a doctor, you can afford it.”
At age 56, I finally bought my first home. I still have a big mortgage, which I want to pay off before I retire. I’m guessing I’ll be working into my 70s. This year, I also finally treated myself to a new car. Before that, I’d owned just two cars in my life, each one for 20 years.
I never married. It’s hard for a woman to find a man who’s willing to follow her while she pursues her dream career. Typically, it’s the woman who makes the sacrifices. During one 12-year period, I moved eight times. One of my guiding motivations has been the fear that I’d end up as a bag lady living on the street. I’ve always felt that I had to depend on myself.
Still, it’s been difficult as a single woman. Auto mechanics, contractors and salesmen sometimes try to take advantage of you. Employers don’t always pay you fairly or give you the same opportunities as male colleagues.
But with all that, I get a deep sense of satisfaction from my job—because it allows me to provide medical care to those who need it. Today, my practice focuses on general medicine patients, as well as those infected with HIV and COVID-19. Some patients have never been to a doctor before. In a way, these patients are my children. Changing careers to become a doctor was not financially savvy. But it sure has been a salve for my soul.
Kathy Thompson lives and works in the San Francisco Bay Area. A transplanted New Yorker, she’s now a Californian at heart. Kathy comments on HumbleDollar as kt2062.
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Wow. There’s a lump in my throat, as I read your life story, Dr. Thompson. Well done, and thank you.
200 Likes! Haven’t seen that before.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is very inspiring. Thanks for providing patient care.
Inspiring! Thank you for sharing. I taught medical students for over 20 years. The ones I remember most are those that entered their training through a non traditional path. Those individuals had a unique drive and focus, like you, that allowed them to overcome obstacles to reach their goals.
I admire your patience and endurance, surely you are a winner Dr. Thompson. With love from the Philippines.
I changed careers and started medical school at 27, only 5 years older than the average student in my class. My path was much easier and less interesting than yours. I know a few folks who regret not having pursued a career for which they would have loved and excelled in. The question whether your move was financially savvy is vastly outweighed by the fact that you are a valuable addition to the medical community and no doubt are greatly appreciated and admired by your patients and colleagues. You can’t buy that at any price!
Great story Dr. Thompson! Congratulations on your impressive accomplishments. I also got accepted into medical school when I was 41. However, after thinking hard about the time commitment as well as the cost I decided not to go through with it. I still remember the day I took the MCAT in a room of students half my age. I ended up going to PA school two years later. I was the oldest in my class when we graduated. It was the best career decision for me. I have had the pleasure to work with some great physicians in both emergency medicine and family medicine over the past 18 years. I have enjoyed primary care as many of my patients are like close friends.
I am humbled by the supportive and gracious comments. Thank you all for the kind words.
Thank you for sharing your story. Many lessons here for all.
Kathy,
Thank you for publishing your story. I’m planning on showing this to one of my daughters, who is a Wildland firefighter in the summers and an EMT in the winters. Her first year was brutal and she had to endure a lot of sexism. She said she took comfort and inspiration thinking of my experiences as an Aerospace engineer in the 80’s. I’m glad to read about ALL of your contributions to society. May you continue to inspire many others!
What an amazing, inspiring story. Thanks for sharing.
Kathy,
You have had an interesting career. Thanks for sharing.
My biggest regret is that I did not get my 4 year degree until age 32. By then, I had a wife, 2 young children and a mortgage. So further education did not seem practical. I needed to take care of my family.
I had a very successful career in IT management. No complaints. But if I had my act together coming out of HS, I would have pursued medicine.
Congratulations for achieving your goals and serving your patients.
Thanks for an interesting and inspiring article, and congratulations on following your dreams and making it. I understand about the car mechanics etc., although I am fortunate that I have found people I can trust. Being a single woman can be tough, but a bad marriage is worse.
Congratulations on your incredible achievements! I wish I had half your intelligence and perseverance.
Thank you for a revealing narrative. It shows an underlying drive that pushed you to better things at each stage of your life. We all make some wrong turns on life’s journey. But eventually things work out. All those wrong turns are what is called in economics a “sunk cost”. You write them off, forget about them, and look to the future. It clears the mind for good things to come.
Two quick comments: First, I have female friends who ask me to go to car shops with them, or who want me there when contractors give her estimates. They know they are subject to being taken advantage of financially. So they use me to level the odds. I am happy to oblige. I’m a lawyer with a blue collar background.
Second, I am also a child of depression parents. When my parents finally got around to putting wall-to-wall carpet in a few rooms and on the stairs, they told the carpet people to leave 10 or 12 inches at the top and bottom of the stair carpeting and fold it under. They wanted to make sure that if the horizontal stair tread wore out, they could just remove it, move the carpet up those ten inches, and have brand new stair tread that had been unworn by being on the vertical riser part of the stair. They figured they would double the carpet’s life. (They never had to.)
Kathy,
Your story is quite interesting and inspiring. I would like to invite you to join our community at Catching Up to FI. We are all kinds of folks with a later start on the journey to financial independence for one reason or another. We are a FB Group, Podcast, YouTube Channel, etc. I wrote a blog for Jonathan/Humble Dollar titled “Saving Our Retirement” published early this year. He recently recorded with us and will be on the show soon. I would love to connect with you.
Best Wishes,
Bill Yount
I woke up today (Saturday) jaded about things in my life. Really inspiring to read your story. Thanks for sharing.
Your column resonated with me because I’ve had many of the same experiences. Thank you!
Kathy, yours is a fascinating story and perfect for us HD readers, as your lesson is that following your dream has much greater value than the accumulation of dollars. You will never fully know the impact of the lives you have touched in both careers, but I’m sure you see their gratitude daily in the eyes of your patients and their family members. God bless you.
Tenacious, strong, independent. I could go on and on but you get the idea. It’s sad that to this day I still see the “good job for a girl” mentality.
Congratulations and thanks for sharing. You found a life-purpose and a career as well. Late to that show? Arguably yes but how many people can say they found this ideal combination? Your persistence and belief in yourself should be contagious (no pun intended)! Your story can help people have hope that Plan B,C or even D can work. Best of luck moving forward.
I LOVE this! I have a somewhat similar story (late start on career), although it took a divorce for me to learn that I could “depend on myself.” I certainly taught that to my kids though! Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow! You don’t read many stories as inspiring as yours and you rarely see such perseverance toward one’s goals.
Kathy, thank you for sharing your very interesting, inspiring, and unique journey. I’m amazed at the diversity of articles published here at HD…and it’s only getting better!
“I’ve always felt I had to depend on myself.”
your words resonated with me. You were given the strength, resilience and determination to follow your dream and make it a reality.
you did yourself proud. Well done, Kathy
What an amazing , inspiring story. I would imagine that as a police officer you learned a lot about people and that has contributed to you becoming an extraordinary physician .
Amazing story of perseverance, hard work, and belief in yourself. I’m inspired!