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Recently Connie said she needed some makeup so off to the makeup store we went – and I do mean store, an entire rather large store selling just makeup. We were greeted by one of a dozen young ladies dressed in black. They are there to help you find what you are looking for or perhaps more accurately, to educate you on what you should be looking for.
I stood by the entrance patiently waiting until I was called for my opinion – that never goes well. Which of these coverups looks more natural I was asked. I agreed with the lady in black as a safe hedge while I wondered how covering anything up looks natural.
Anyway, with shopping done, as we left the store and my phone signaled a text arrived. It was my bank telling me the cosmetic charge was $179. How $179 worth of stuff fit in a bag the size of a small popcorn at the movies amazed me.
We weren’t done though, the store didn’t have a couple of items so off we went to Macy’s. Another text message – $125. I delicately inquired about the grand total of things to cover up, enhance and moisturize – only at night no less. Some of the items were in tubes smaller than a travel size toothpaste and others were jars smaller than a marshmallow- I was later told those were samples. Besides Connie said, it all lasts a long time.
After over $300 of assistance Connie was armed to look her best – for me I was reminded. The markup on cosmetics must rival pharmaceuticals.
As we were walking to the car she said she wished she had the physical ability to shop more. “Why,” I asked. “There are a lot of things I need,” she said. Well if you know what you need, we can get whatever it is.
“But I don’t know what I need until I shop.” Say what?
I made the mistake of defining shopping as knowing what you need, walking into the store, making your purchase and getting out as fast as possible.
Connie said she had to look while shopping to decide what she needed.
Women and men are different I was told.🤔
The woman cutting my hair yesterday offers a counterpoint. She asked where I was going next and I responded Home Depot. Her reply was “Ah, the man mall.” We all fit the steroptype.
My wife is different in that she hates to shop most of the time, except in the grocery store. When she needs, and I mean needs, new slacks or a dress I have to drag her out to buy something and even then she wants to walk in, pick up something that looks nice try it on and buy it. End of shopping trip. I am the same way about my closes, but I usually try to take her in and while she tries on one thing I shop for her for several other items for her wardrobe, get her to try them on and buy them for her if they work for her.
If you look at the list of writers under the Articles tab, you will see that there are 69 men and nine women. The number of commenters seems to match that.
This kind of stupid “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” rant is probably part of the reason. It says “men’s locker room here, women keep out”. (Or, worse, girls keep out). Sure there are some women who fit your stereotype, likely stay at home wives of advanced years, but a lot more who don’t. The only window shopping I do is checking out the markets when I’m traveling abroad.
When I first started reading this site I decided to even the odds a bit and stick around, but I bet a lot of women decide not to bother.
Over the years, I’ve made a big effort to encourage women to write for HumbleDollar — as I hope you would attest — so I find your rant bothersome. Why are there more male writers than female? The easy answer is to blame men. But maybe, at least here at HumbleDollar, we shouldn’t mimic the rest of the world and immediately go for the easy answer.
I’m sorry if my post came across as a rant – maybe rants breed rants. But I am telling you, as a woman, that this kind of post is a major turn off. It is sexist and inaccurate. If I wasn’t already writing and posting here I would most likely read it, throw up my hands, and leave.
I’m not saying I agree with Dick. Far from it. In fact, it strikes me as inadvisable for any man to start pontificating about his wife’s shopping. There’s simply too much room for silly stereotypes. But while I’m happy to delete any post that’s overly political or excessively nasty, I don’t want to go overboard and nix all debate. That, too, would elicit complaints.
It was tongue in cheek, not a psychological analysis of men and women. A tad funny.
A casual observation that the approach to shopping and buying is different – no doubt with many exceptions.
The comment that women and men are different when it comes to shopping was Connie’s, not mine. The fact is there are studies that support that idea. There is nothing sexist about it.
It’s important to listen as well as talk. It’s clear that the many in the HD community didn’t appreciate your comments about the differences between the sexes — or, for that matter, your repeated insistence that folks need 100% of their salary to retire in comfort or that present value calculations aren’t helpful. Maybe it’s time to learn from the feedback and turn your attention to other topics.
I’m not asking you to delete it. I’m pointing out that a desire to increase female participation will not be advanced by sexist rants. I believe Quinn has a website where he could post this kind of stuff.
I think we would both agree that rants don’t help. Dick labels his screeds as “rants” and, yes, he should tone it down. In the past, in emails, I’ve asked him to do just that. But as you said of your response “maybe rants breed rants,” and that’s not helpful, either.
I obviously can’t speak for Kathy but I think her comment may reflect her frustration with Quinn’s numerous redundant rants of this type.
Kathy, I’m glad you (and all the other women writers) stuck it out. I enjoy, and learn, from other’s perspectives and experiences .
Thanks Rick. Multiple viewpoints are fine, but I’ve encountered this particular attitude too many times, and I’m too old, to keep ignoring it. Ignoring it doesn’t make it stop.
While Quinn’s rants always elicit a laugh from me, I did not give any thought to the fact that they may insult others. So I have deleted a prior post of mine.
The women who contribute to HD are paramount to the culture. It would be a huge loss to the website if they were not here.
Thank you!
Isn’t shopping for non-necessities a big factor in our free market economy?
Yes indeed, but “shopping” is not necessarily buying. That is the big disconnect here. Studies show women are more into shopping – that’s walking around the store for things they may need, need or maybe not. Men may buy more at times, but more often with a specific goal purchase as opposed to shopping. I don’t think you will find many men into “window shopping” for example.
You are too funny, Dick. I love the comparison between the little black-and-white striped bag that Connie was likely carrying with the red-and-white striped popcorn box.
I know guys who buy insane numbers of costly toys like skis, bikes, tech gadgets to the extent that they hide the number they have from spouses or pretend that something suspiciously new and shiny has been borrowed from a friend.
We all know the guy who has the full top end outdoor kitchen, grill, pizza oven and broiler.
In a world in which it’s quite easy to drop $10k on a road bike you can see how it’s not hard for men to vastly outshop partners on lifestyle needs.
The point really was the difference between shopping and buying. No doubt men can be major buyers.
For what ever reason, generally women are pressured to stay younger looking as they get older. Thus, the need for $300 in makeup. Not so true for men. As an example, go look at a picture of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. I was surprised to learn they are only one year apart in age.
Good point.
And if they can justify 12 ladies to help you spend more er find quality products that proves the money it’s possible to make or those ladies would be doing something else.
No doubt. Their job to turn “shopping” into buying. They are quite good at creating demand as well.
That sounds like Sephora. Someone’s margins must be off the wall high, talk about price gouging. My wife says you want me to look the best when we go out, right? How do you answer that? No, not really? I’m comfortable in $30 shoes from Costco not $900+ from Neimans haha. And my wife says you look it. You can’t win.
Actually, it was ULTA.
Guess I was wrong about the black-and-white striped bag. I’ve never been in an ULTA, but it sounds very similar.
Same thing haha didn’t Buffett just invest in ULTA
As a ULTA shareholder I’m glad to know makeup shopping is alive and well. Thank you both.
For the first few years of its operation Amazon sent my husband presents at Christmas for his prodigious shopping habit. I think this anecdote says more about the writer than any extrapolation, but you are sweet to ferry your wife around and maybe consider it fortunate the packages are so small!
I am not sure that this subject really warrants Humble Dollar retirement-related, commentary as there are plenty of marketing studies on these issues. Here’s one:
https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/podcast/knowledge-at-wharton-podcast/men-buy-women-shop-the-sexes-have-different-priorities-when-walking-down-the-aisles/
Dick – you should buy your obviously very sweet wife whatever she desires and not worry or post about it. Let’s get back to ranting about other important stuff like tattoos
According to that article I am a man. I am, emphatically, not. And I don’t think 1,250 people is an adequate sample.
John, that Wharton article says it exactly. Women shop, men buy. Take note ladies. I think many comments confused the two and the point of my post.
It absolutely does as us males are trying to get to the finish line with a few bucks in our pockets haha
Curiosity caused me to research this a bit.
Supposedly there are different types of
introvertswomen.One type is very
privatefrugal and reluctant toshare much about their personal livesspend money.Pretty sure Kristine is
notthat type.Grin.
Canine spending excepted? 🐶😊
I have to spend my money on something (besides tattoos).
Given that Connie has had health issues recently I wonder if her desire to shop more is a reflection of her feelings about a decline in her ability to be independent. My wife has never been big on going shopping but now that it has become more difficult for her to get out and about there are times when she wants to go to a store to buy something that she could easily order online.
Believe me the desire has always been there. Now she wants me to drive – and stop asking here “how much longer?”
i’m not sure this is a male vs female thing. My husband will take any excuse to visit Home Depot or a marine supply place. Always gets much more than he went for!
Of course it isn’t. I’m female and I hate shopping. I haven’t worn make up in decades either. It’s just Quinn being provocative.
Lots of data say otherwise, but in any case I didn’t say it.
Just for the joy of shopping? I’d keep an eye on that guy😆
I can’t relate- just walking in the door of Home Depot sends chills down my spine and I can’t wait to get out. Of course I stay as far away from DIY as possible. The only thing I can do with my hands without screwing it up is open my IPad.
The closest my husband gets to diy is calling the contractor whose number is saved on his phone!
My updated definition of GIGO for shopping; Get In, Get Out!
You are the designated driver. You are not the designated shopper.
Very true, very
You are a good man, Richard. My wife feels a lot better about me after reading your articles.
Yep, you’re in deep water again! So here’s my proposal: I submit that the government offer universal cosmetic care coverage (UCCC for short). Free makeup for everyone. What’s a few more bonds issued going to hurt?
If you don’t shop, you don’t spend? (My wife seems not to have that perspective)
Amen brother!