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Today, I have the not-so-joyful task of collecting my suit from the dry cleaners. This instrument of torture is, of course, for a wedding I’m attending in a few weeks. Suzie and I are close friends with the bride’s family, and for the past 18 months, we’ve been “in the loop” on all the drama and discussions surrounding the planning. It seems every visit to a bridal show adds a new “must-have” addition to what’s become quite the circus, leading to ever-escalating costs.
I have a particularly vested interest in all of this because my eldest daughter got engaged a couple of months ago. It’s likely she’ll be heading down this same rabbit hole in the next few years. However, observing my friend’s daughter’s wedding from afar has firmly cemented in my mind that some of the latest “must-have” items, both during the wedding and at the reception, are plainly ridiculous in both concept and cost. A few cases in point: silent discos, roving tarot card readers, free cocktail stations, and holographic art displays. Why? And who even thought of a silent disco in the first place?
As parents to a future bride-to-be, we’re contemplating our own Rubicon. It’s our little darling’s big day, and we want it to be special. But at what point do we draw a line in the sand and say “no more” if the wedding additions become simply silly?
I do “get it” to a degree. The bride and possibly the groom get caught up in a bubble of excitement about their shared grand adventure. I suspect aided and abetted by social media influencers etc….. but I think sometimes we need to bust their bubble and ground them to the financial reality of the big day. What do you think, readers? Am I being mean and tight, possibly a bit of a grumpy killjoy or just plain practical?
i have two names to keep things in perspective: Jeff bezos and Laura Sanchez. I’m glad I’m not related to either of them.
The easiest solution to this challenge — and so many others — is to remain childless.
Friends with a daughter told us that when their daughter got engaged, they spoke with the groom’s parents about financing. The groom’s parents said that hey believed in traditional weddings, meaning the bride’s parents paid for all of it.
We had 2 sons and when they wed we offered financial support, but left it up to the couple to decide how to spend it. Each had suitably impressive spreadsheets. Both weddings were grand occasions.
Oh Rick! Spreadsheet weddings? 😱. What did you do, raise a couple of engineers?