FREE NEWSLETTER
Go to main Forum page »
I never thought about becoming ultra rich. I just wanted enough money to feel financially secure and not have to think about stretching every dollar. I reached my goal, but found that the most important thing money can provide is personal freedom. However, earning or having a lot of money is not liberating to everyone.
it’s all too easy for us to fall into the trap of spending too little money. Once we have worked hard or smart for many years to create income, it follows that we should enjoy it. Misers have put together a fortune and have not experienced one bit of pleasure from it. Talk about financial dysfunction. Preposterous as it may seem, countless people in elite income brackets have proven that financial independence doesn’t necessarily mean prosperity. .
While money can’t buy happiness, it can add to your enjoyment of life— which is the reason for having financial independence in the first place. Living ridiculously below your means is just as financially dysfunctional as living way above your means.
Since having money requires that you save it prudently, but spend it joyfully, you may not want to sacrifice present happiness, joy, and satisfaction for a few extra dollars. Happily parting with some portion of your money can add to a feeling of prosperity. I found that viewing spending, in that context, eased away my stress and my life was enriched.
Would you say you feel proud and satisfied with your spending choices? Or, is parting (with your money) such sweet sorrow.
I love going to Thrift stores for books, dvds, and clothes. Yet, some are better priced then others. Those are the ones I haunt, at this point in my life I can afford to be super choosy what I buy, because I suffer from an embarrassed of riches from the above. Which leads me to an interesting story. A few days I went shopping at my local LL Bean store and has sticker shock, what was worse was I had 2 gift cards, so it was even my money. I left empty handed. Good thing I did as the next day in my email was a 10% off that and feeling less guilty about buying new I went back and purchased the item I have had eye on for years.
Ed, never feel guilty about rewarding yourself for your thrift every now and then. You were lucky the item you desired was still there. But, what if it wasn’t?
you would have cheated yourself out of something you really wanted for the sake of parting with a few extra dollars.
Marjorie, I would be a bit more specific in saying that what money provides is personal freedom from financial stress. In my youth (until my 40’s!), calculating bill payments against incoming paychecks was always a stomach-knotting experience, especially there simply wasn’t enough in the checking account.
Money always seemed to come out of left field just when I was most desperate — a city snowplow sideswiping my car produced one fortuitous check, a published anecdote in Reader’s Digest another — but that time in my life has informed the gratitude I feel today in not experiencing that sickening knot just north of my navel. Yes, it’s great that I can buy a modest car or a modest cruise, but those are just lagniappe. The big one for me is never again losing a night’s sleep wondering how the bills will get paid.
Mike, thank you for your meaningful comments.
like you, I do believe in “manna from heaven” —So welcome in times of desperation. I also believe that when we are grateful for what we have, we are given that extra gift. In your case, a good nights sleep and peace of mind.
Marjorie, this is great topic. My spending comes in spurts. Steady spending makes me uneasy, but I do find pleasure in small purchases of something useful or pretty. I just don’t want it to add to the clutter, or to next year’s trash. I like to see my wife make purchases that improve her life, or her joy, and I like to make extra gifts that make a difference for someone else, on top of our steady giving.
But, I also strongly agree with Jonathan. A pocket full of money gives me a warm feeling. Perhaps that indicates a pathological miserliness, or misplaced trust in money, but I think it’s tempered by a feeling of gratitude. It’s something my wife and I regularly discuss.
Ed, you have a good grasp of money. If we can afford it, but still feel afraid to spend money for something we truly want., keep in mind that money is a means and not an end. Prosperity spending is good for your financial soul, enjoying your money providing you have truly earned it, will motivate you to produce more in the future..
being prosperous means tipping generously when the waiter has given you great service instead of trying to stiff him with a 5%— or worse, no tip at all.
i’m not advocating dipping into your nest egg, just rewarding yourself for your years of hard work and prudent saving, and doing so cheerfully. You have realized this through your tithing.
thank you for your thoughtful comments, Ed— and by the way, I like pretty things too.
Good article. I agree that both extremes (insufficient savings or excessive savings) probably aren’t where the most happiness lies. I suspect that for most people there’s a sweet spot in the middle; have financial security but also enjoy your wealth in whatever way you choose. To only save, one is probably missing maximizing their happiness. That said, there are exceptions to most every rule and maybe for some folks excessive saving is their “maximum happiness” state. For the rest of us, it’s good to examine our actions from time to time to make sure we’re maximizing our happiness. Thanks for the reminder.
I agree and think your comment about “sweet spot” or optimization between various choices applies to many decisions we all make in our lives, and not only finances.
Thank you, OldTGuy. Although most people equate prosperity with having a lot of money, it is also a condition—a feeling of pride and satisfaction.
Appreciate your sage comments.
It’s been 67 years since I had my first job at $0.75 an hour. I have saved in some manner since then. Based on our income and net worth I think our spending is high modest, but these days the big items are giving to others while maintaining the satisfaction of being financially secure.
Our highest priority is now our children and grandchildren.
As I have said many times, we have been blessed with great good fortune, nevertheless, it’s been an 80 year journey and I am admittedly a tad proud to be where we are.
Dick, you are right to be proud. Your generosity to your children and grand children is laudable. However, I will go out on a limb and say that your highest priority, especially at your stage in life, should be to yourself and Connie. And continue those shopping trips with her.
Thanks for your comments, Dick. Always interesting.
The priorities are Connie, us and family. I may not use a budget or know how to use a spreadsheet, but it’s in my head.
We only whisper the word shopping these days 😱
The money I have saved is now giving me the most wonderful gift – the ability to give it away to my children, grandchildren and favorite charities while I am alive to see the impact it makes.
Polamalu, don’t forget to reward yourself for your unselfish generosity.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Thanks for an interesting article Marjorie. I often think that, like much of life, finances depend on judgment and balance. Spending on others often gives me great joy, while I don’t particularly enjoy spending on myself. As I’ve aged I’m willing to spend more on experiences and to save time or increase our comfort level. We’re leaving soon on a fairly costly trip with a tour company. It’s our second such trip in as many years. Prior to these trips we organized and executed our trips, and had great times. There two trips were more complicated, and with family and/or friends who like the convenience of an organized tour. I’m sure we will do more self-guided trips in the future, but the opportunity to travel with good friends to a beautiful part of the world with professionals leading the way, seems like a good use of our money.
I think you get it, Rick. The money you spend on meaningful experiences will add to your feeling of prosperity. In addition, increasing your comfort level,for a few dollars more,means you are not cheating yourself out of further fulfilling your enjoyment.
Have a wonderful trip.
Love the thought of having money requires that you save it prudently, but spend it joyfully. That thought resonated with me, Marjorie. Thanks. But it is more fun to spend on a trip than a new roof. Both of which we did this year. But thankful we had the funds. Chris
Chris..the new roof should come under household or emergency expense. The trip expenses should come under your Prosperity account. And being able to afford both is an occasion for joy. Wish you continued prosperity.
I’m not here to rally support for the misers of the world. But I would argue that money can deliver happiness without actually spending it. Simply having a pot of money, and the sense of financial security it provides, can buy folks a sense of contentment.
I was going to say exactly that – financial security is priceless. I suppose some people might say that contentment isn’t happiness, but it lasts longer.
Kathy, by your willingness to part with a good portion of your money, to fund your travel experiences, you have increased your feeling of prosperity. I’m sure having that additional money in the bank could not give you as much happiness.
you can be proud
The wonderful memories of your experiences will always be with you.
Thanks, Marjorie. The travel was priceless, but it also wasn’t that expensive. Maybe I should write an article on traveling on the cheap. My last long trip, three and a half months in 2016, was $22,500, but $5,000 of that was for a two week tour of Uzbekistan with MIR. Now that they have high-speed rail it’s a lot easier to travel there independently, as friends of mine did recently. It also costs money to stay home – either way you need transport and food.
One side of my brain is trying to convince me to lease a luxury SUV. The expense would effortlessly fit into our budget. The other side of my brain says that’s a stupid idea because there’s nothing wrong with cheap and paid for SUV I already own. Both sides of my brain recognize that just knowing I could lease that Cadi if I wanted feels pretty darned good.
Yesterday while driving a Bentley SUV was in front of me. I thought how much money does a person need to spend for such a vehicle- about $276,000 sticker price. I said to Connie, if I won the big lottery I wouldn’t spend on that SUV. “Yes you would” she said. Actually I don’t think so, that is pure showing off. But who knows?
Dan I have been dealing with the same trusted (I know!) car salesman for 40 years. I always leased through my S corporation. Now retired I figured I’d buy a nice SUV and keep it for years. He said “Nope, keep leasing.” Why? Apparently most lease agreements include new vehicle replacement at no additional charge if the leased vehicle is totaled. If you own the vehicle and it is totaled in a wreck, at the insurance company’s discretion then you are only refunded the blue book value of the deprecated asset. I can speak from personal experience, my wife’s Audi A7 was hit by a drunk driver. She was not hurt thank goodness and we received a new A7 with identical lease terms. The salesperson also said that auto insurers are very trigger happy when declaring a car totaled since they only reimburse the depreciated amount vs having to pay for expensive parts and labor if the vehicle is repaired.
But how often do you have a major car accident? I’ve had just one (not my fault) that totaled my much-loved Mazda MX-6, and I’m 77. Meanwhile, if you lease, you never get rid of the car payment. After I paid off a car loan in my 40s I put part of the payment into a “new car fund”. I’ve paid cash for every car since – although the insurance settlement from the Mazda crash mostly covered the current car.
Good info, I did not know that.
We recently purchased a new 2025 Honda Pilot. I would love to lease versus buy however I can’t justify the cost differential. Before the car arrived at the dealer, I worked on getting the insurance ready to go. As it had been awhile since we last purchased a vehicle, I inquired as to what other coverages and coverage limits were available that made sense for us. I added coverage for $34/year for essentially fully replacing the vehicle should it be totaled within the first 12 months/15,000 miles. I’ve heard that there may be other policies available for years 2 and 3 but have not yet investigated.
GW, I’ve never leased a car for myself, have always purchased and kept for at least 10 years. I bought my current car during Covid in 2020. Paid cash. Got a great deal, but how much would my money have grown had I left it invested?
Anyhow, my thinking on buy versus lease may be evolving.
For me, leasing equates to greatly simplified maintenance and upkeep for 30-36k miles, no extended warranties or other add-ons in the dealer F&I office. GAP insurance through my agent is literally a few bucks a year vs hundreds through the car dealers.
We partially financed the Pilot purchase at 3.9%/60 months – a good rate these days – while the payoff amount is invested or in a savings account at 4.5%. However, I despise debt and am already itching to pay it off. Same for the mortgage.
Contentment, or in many cases allaying their fears of running out of money.
Your thoughts are well taken. Thank you, Jonathan. Perhaps the point I failed to make is that people cause themselves unnecessary angst Over spending that extra money when they have pots of it. Sometimes parting with that extra penny joyfully releases stress.
Added: An example…my mother had so little and yet whenever a workman or delivery person came to the house, she would tip them generously. That is joyful spending.