One family, two very different life experiences

An eighteen year old girl married her high school sweetheart who had dropped out of high school to join the army. They lived on an army base. Shortly they had a baby. They were transferred to another post.

Not many months after settling in at the new base he receives orders for the first of three tours in Vietnam. The young lady and child move in with her parents while he is in Vietnam. 

Upon his final tour, return and discharge years later, there is a second child. The father was physically unharmed in the army, but suffered for several years from PTSD making life difficult for the entire family, including her parents as they all shared a house.

Eventually the birth of twins was greatly anticipated even while filling the three bedroom, one bath house to the rafters. The joy was muted when it was learned both of the twins had cerebral palsy, one so severe he would be an infant in an adult body unable to even speak for the next 42 years before finally being allowed to die. The other twin was able to function, eventually able to marry (a disabled woman who can’t work) but only able to hold a low skill, low paying job thus needing ongoing support from both parents. 

Those 42 years were filled with endless medical care and hospitalizations for conditions beyond the CP, incredible physical and emotional stress, and high expenses. An elevator had to be installed to get the boy to his bedroom. A generator was needed as backup for life support equipment, a van to transport a wheelchair and more. 

It was a heavy physical, emotional and financial burden on the family, especially for the boys mother. Today, the couple live alone in the house they once shared with her parents and children. They live pretty much paycheck to paycheck. He has a small army pension and a pension from post military employment, but there are no investments and replacing a TV let alone an old car, is not easy. The father became a part-time clown for children’s parties and today at age 78 is a school crossing card for extra income. 

The experience and physical stress has left the mother virtually home bound. Now she needs the elevator to reach the second floor. It has not been an easy life for this couple, but they persevere and don’t complain and through it all and never did. She is determined and receives joy, despite the work and cost, to have an annual Christmas Eve party for friends. 

I attend each year. She is my sister.