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Looking up at the ceiling recovering from major surgery has this 70+ boomer rethinking life. Everyone on here has an intense interest in personal finance. Most of us are boomers. Our parents were the Greatest Generation who lived the Depression and fought the war then shared their stories of sacrifice. We’ve read the Wall Street Journal, especially when Jonathan was there, financial papers, magazines and websites galore. My guess is that our playbook is pretty much the same: get an education, work hard, marriage then kids, save a goodly percentage, invest wisely, keep expenses low yada, yada. And here we are. I’ll wager less than 5% of the readers or participants on this site have a chance of running out of resources before the reaper comes. What did we give up? What can we no longer experience because of age or infirmity? Look what has happened to Jonathan. I’m not saying that dying with zero is the answer. But what I’m asking is that with all our work and doing and saving and probably scrimping, what did we miss?
I’m still missing the flying cars we were promised watching The Jetsons.
My own regrets are character failings—e.g. impatience, judgment—not a wish that work time had been less or different. Also, choosing a steady and lucrative field (and luck) meant we didn’t spend much time beyond the first few years with budgets or extensive financial planning. Spending time with dear ones and really listening help me to improve, I hope!
Good article…makes me think. What immediately comes to mind is , in retrospect, almost all of the extensive business travel I did through much of my career was absurdly inconsequential. Thinking of all the kids’ events I missed with that business travel. I’m guessing that about 90% of the business travel I did would be nothing more than a 30-60 minute zoom call today. But at the time, I thought the company’s fortunes depended on my particular business meeting going right!! Looking back at things, I was very naive. But, to be fair, those out of town meetings kept me gainfully employed so that the family could be taken care of and put me and the family in the position today. Just too many kids’ events were missed.
Nice article.
For what I value most, being frugal was no problem. What I wish I had understood in midlife was the power of the rule of 72 and the importance, in real life terms, of the Roth IRA. My elders had land, paid off homes and pensions, so we really did not learn from them. Trying to unwind all the money I have in old school things like paid off home, annuities that cannot be used except for income or surrendered.
I’m also a long term reader of HD. Over the years I missed alot of dance recitals, parent/teacher conferences and the like. But my daughters are now in their 40’s and I “think” they forgive me. My wife is always reminding me that we don’t know what life has in store for us. My Dad passed at 54 – but my mom lived to over 100. So last week I did the ultimate splurge and bought a boat.
Long time reader, occasional commenter. My life parallels polamalu2009’s and Dick’s almost exactly, but I’m only:) 79. I’m thankful to have been born between first and second base rather than in the batter’s box. My Mom and Dad were married for over 70 years before their deaths and money was never an issue. I’m still happily married for 56 years to my high school sweetheart; helped her raise four successful sons, all apparently happily married, and have given us 8 beautiful (of course) grandchildren. Times were a little tight for us putting all four sons through college (32 semesters of tuition!), but we did it with minimal borrowing which barely impacted our lifestyle. Fortunately my wife is even more careful with money than I am. We diligently saved and invested since our early 20’s. Still spending most of my free time in various volunteer efforts. Now a retired pharmacist and likely to pass on significant money to our four sons and their families.
Miss much? I guess, but look at what I didn’t miss.
I hope it helped you to get some of your thoughts out. If you have not had a major health issue before now, it can be sobering to confront your mortality. I know it was for me. I love what Dick wrote earlier about his life and a spirit of gratitude. I hope your recovery from your operation goes well. Chris
That first progressive illness is a bugaboo to learn, accept and live with.
Thank you.
I can’t answer this one until I’m in your shoes. I hope I’ll have no regrets. Best of luck with your health.
Thank you
I hope your surgery was successful and recovery is swift.
You don’t know what you don’t know. The playbook you mention has some significant potholes along the road to financial security. As I’ve written previously, an unexpected divorce required me to seriously sharpen my pencil for retirement planning. I’ve also found myself jobless three different times, once for five months, that required professional reassessment of my future and employment prospects. Both of these had substantial impacts on where I am today.
All I know is that I’m happy – – – right here and right now. I cannot and will not dive into the fruitless “woulda, coulda, shoulda” mentality to wonder “what if”.
Every misfortune seems to have had a silver lining, with things better than before. Except for spouse’s dimentia.
Thank you
The best short answer I found is that we should make our financial decisions and plans as though we we will live to be 100. Because..you just might!
All worry is wasted.
i was planning for 85. Now I have to add 15 years???? More stress over where all that money will come from. 😂
Wise approach. My wife and I are 71, and retired. Our investment horizon is 30 years. This of course is all based on probabilities, or if you prefer, educated guesses. I don’t know what the future holds, but I prioritize not running out of money over worry about not spending as much as I might have. If we both pass away with “too much unspent money” in our portfolio, it will go to our families and charity, which we are both fine with.
As I’ve written here before, I took early retirement at 53 in order to travel. I have absolutely no regrets. However, it does mean that my nest egg and my SS payment are smaller than they would otherwise be. As I stand a reasonable chance of living into my late 90s running out of money has crossed my mind. That’s one reason I am now living in a CCRC that promises to keep me if I do run out.
I also found myself 2 months ago recovering from (rather sudden) major surgery as a 70+ year old. I found reflecting a bit on my past helped me zero in on what I want to focus on in the future. As far as anything I “missed”, nothing really comes to mind. But personally, other than recognizing past mistakes for the purpose of making better choices going forward for myself or loved ones, I’ve never been much for regrets or what-ifs. Doesn’t seem like that’s the path to happiness.
I am going to be 81 in a couple of months, a pre-boomer. I have been married to my wife for over 55 years, we raised four children and put them through college. I had a job from 1957 (part-time) to 2010. I spent 6 years on active army duty and in the National Guard.
We have traveled the world and every state. Only in the last few years have there been health issues – so far resolved.
We are financially sound. I have achieved every person goal I set for myself at age 18 – material and otherwise. We have 11 grandchildren.
We are immensely grateful and appreciative. The work, saving, working two jobs at times was all worth it. We missed nothing.
I am going to be 81 in a couple of months, a pre-boomer. I have been married to my wife for over 55 years, we raised four children and put them through college. I had a job from 1957 (part-time) to 2010. I spent 6 years on active army duty and in the National Guard.
We have traveled the world and every state. Only in the last few years have there been health issues – so far resolved.
We are financially sound. I have achieved every personal goal I set for myself at age 18 – material and otherwise. We have 11 grandchildren.
We are immensely grateful and appreciative. The work, saving, working two jobs at times was all worth it. We missed nothing.
Wonderful to read this, Dick. Like you, I’ve been trying to cultivate an “attitude of gratitude.” We’ve all had challenges and inevitable setbacks, but it’s so important to focus on the good things we’ve experienced. So many good examples are seen on these pages daily, even when sad news is shared.
There is probably a lot missed, but I do not see that as a thing worth worrying about. There’s an (effectively) infinite number of things that I could have done and experienced, and a very finite number that I did or experienced. I intend to keep my focus on what I can still do in the future.
That is a wonderful comment.