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I wore a gown of Chantilly lace—the sun caught the sparkles in my bridal headdress. My husband was resplendent in his tuxedo—the sun was shining on a beautiful April morning —Our wedding day, 60 years ago, April, 1965.
While The choice of a spouse is among the most important decisions most people ever make, it’s a choice that comes with no guarantees of long term happiness. That said, we all have an ideal vision of the person we would like to marry. But once that exciting someone comes along all previous expectations vanish.
Rich and I are as different as two people can be but sometimes that difference can be a powerful attraction. We saw in each other the deep and abiding life values that were rooted in our faith and personal beliefs. It’s been our strongest bond, giving us a solid foundation to become united in every way possible. We simply stood the test of time in a deeply committed relationship and we’re so grateful to still have each other.
In the lyrics from “They Say it’s Wonderful” these words still set my heart aglow:
“To hold a man in your arms is wonderful,
wonderful…
in every way…
so they say.. —from the musical “Annie Get Your Gun.”
Happy anniversary, Marjorie and Rich. I hope Spouse and I will reach 60 years too. Only 17 to go. Chris
Time Goes by so quickly, Chris. I hope your constant companionship lasts forever.
Marriage is an amazing, sometimes frustrating and always challenging life-long (if you are lucky) pursuit which my wife and I have “endured” for 47 years. Every year on our anniversary we celebrate the “miracle”. We separated after less than a year of marriage for almost a year, but realized we were best friends as well. But there have been issues along the way: different ideas about raising children, some differences about finances, and some different views of life. Those are big differences for sure. But we are both stubborn – and we realized that our marriage was a lifelong commitment which we needed to honor both as a sacrament and as a personal bond. Today with grown children and in our retirement we still have our moments, but in June we will celebrate our 48th anniversary – and in those special moments – we are as passionate as our first date. Marriage has taken the long view and sometimes a selflessness – but we’d both say all of it was well worth it.
Marriages that attract opposites, afford opportunity to add richness to the relationship. This can explain the attraction of introverts to extroverts and timid people to confident ones.
You brought up an interesting component; Marriage Is considered a sacrament in many religions throughout the world. Accepting this concept has given you and your wife the added grace to work through your difficulties. This, in no way, negates the struggles that are involved.
but adds another dimension to ease conflicts.
Thanks for commenting Richard
Amazing, Marjorie, and a lovely tribute. Congratulations!
Thank you, Dana. And congratulations to you for your strong and steadfast efforts to ensure a secure upcoming retirement.
Marjorie, Congratulations on an amazing milestone. We are rapidly approaching 43 years and hope to catch up one day! Your article reminded of something a former neighbor said as they approached 50 years of marriage. She said they never once considered divorce. Homicide frequently – but never divorce. Mazel Tov!
We’re right behind you—42 years in June.
LOL. I was expecting a profound declaration from my husband to remember this anniversary.by— Instead he said “how did you ever put up with me all these years”
Thanks, Rick. Take your time catching up.
This year, my wife gave me the best anniversary card ever. Its cover has a 1950s Chevy with a Still Married sign and streamers on the back. The message inside: A marriage with a little mileage is something to celebrate!
We’re both looking forward to many more miles to come.
Congratulations on your anniversary, Marjorie!
Thanks, David. The whimsical card your wife gave you was just perfect.
Majorie,
Congratulations on honoring the commitment you made to each other, 60 years ago.
Both my folks are long deceased, but their wedding anniversary was April 7th.
I celebrated 50 years with my bride on June 23rd of last year. However, it was not continual. Although she chooses to forget it ever happened, in 1983, my wife decided that there was no reason to remain married, because I was “never home.” The reason I was “never home,” was because from the day we married until the day she made her pronouncement, I had continually been working full-time, and going to school, bettering myself to better support my family. By 1983, I had earned 3 Associate’s degrees and my Bachelor of Science.
We divorced the 28th of February…and remarried on June 27, the same year. After we were divorced, she “changed her mind,” and decided that maybe she had “acted in haste.” In 1985, I completed my MBA. Over the years, in my three different careers, I continued gathering professional designations, and to prove to the world that’s never too late, I even began my doctoral studies at age 59!
We successfully raised two children, college educated them, enabled them to graduate without student debt, and launched both of them in to the world, where they have been productive citizens. Unfortunately neither has given us grandchildren, and based on their ages, it will not be happening.
Over my years in academia, the text books I authored, co-authored or edited were always dedicated to two women…my wife and my mother. My mother planted in me the belief that I could accomplish anything I wanted badly enough, and my wife allowed me to take the time away from our family, to prove my mother right!
You were 100% correct when you said, “We simply stood the test of time in a deeply committed relationship and we’re so grateful to still have each other.”
Kim and I feel the same way…even on the days we want to strangle one another.
Again, Congratulations on your special anniversary!
Kevin, your comments are very special. No long term marriage is all “daisies and buttercups”. We all face a crisis at some point, and maybe more than one.
Your divorce was unfortunate but sometimes a period of separation gives us a chance to sort things out with more clarity and upon reunion makes each other a better partner and friend.
A woman is the heart of the home. A good look at how a prospective husband treats their mother is an almost accurate predictor of how they will treat their wives. Your good relationship with your mother brought forth your best intuitions and regard for women in general.
important for those in a long term relationship—almost vital that you genuinely like each other. As years unfold you will find yourself spending long hours with each other on a daily basis, especially as health declines. That time may not be the easiest but can be the best of all.
Marjorie:
Thanks for the kind comments.
This passage in your note stuck a cord with me, “A woman is the heart of the home. A good look at how a prospective husband treats their mother is an almost accurate predictor of how they will treat their wives. Your good relationship with your mother brought forth your best intuitions and regard for women in general.”
That is so absolutely true. My mom was actually my step mother. Unlike the “evil stepmother” from fairy tales, my step mother married my father, who had 5 children, ages 24 months to 9 years old. She was an orphan herself, being a German lady who had lost her entire family in WWII. She never had children of her own, because of a traumatic experience with Russian Troops, as they conquered Berlin when she was 16 years old. Instead, she mothered us…and no one has ever had a more loving mother than she was to us. She was truly the “Heart of our Home.”
It is said that some women look for their father in their future mate. I believe I looked for the traits of my step mother in the women I dated as a younger man. I found most of them in my wife.
Have a marvelous weekend!
Kevin, your tender and moving reply brought a tear to my eye, as susceptible as I am to a mothers love—and your comments about looking for the traits of one’s mother, instead of father, are something I have thought of often. It’s been my guide as well.
Thank you.
Congratulations Marjorie! I always liked the old Pennsylvania Dutch saying: ” Kissing wears out–cooking don’t”!
I have a magnet on my fridge that says: Too much of a good thing is wonderful”.
Thanks for your comments.
I have a small. Pennsylvania Dutch plate hanging in my kitchen picturing an Amish couple, leaning towards each other as if to kiss. it says “such schmoochers.”
Thank you for posting this, Marjorie. I loved reading it.
I can add that when I’m giving volunteer tech help at my CCRC to a resident who is a spouse in a long-married couple, it’s so heartwarming to see their interactions.
Many couples age differently. CCRCs are a way for couples to remain together. I know of a couple where the husband lives in the independent section but visits with his wife in memory care where he reads to her every day.
It was good to recount your helpful regard for your fellow residents. Thank you.
Congratulations to you and Rich! just beautiful!
Very thoughtful of you, Cheryl. Thank you.
Congratulations, Marjorie, and Happy 60th! Sounds like you and Rich hit the jackpot when you found each other.
Another example of opposites attract in my case. Rosalinda and I just celebrated 37 years with a couple of fun days in San Antonio. We’re polar opposites in a jillion ways, and the attraction has never lessened.
Andrew, it’s fun discovering how much alike we grow in later years through mutual understanding. Basic personalities may not change, but interest and appreciation in our partners increases.
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary! Sounds like a lovely wedding.
Thanks, Kathy. I bet you’re sorry Dick Quinn is already taken, LOL. Love your quips.Never forgot your witty comments about what men really want! A case of half in gest, but all in earnest. Come to think of it your squabbles with RDQ are much like a seasoned married couple. 😝
😆😂 I agree – they give me my best medicine for free!
Lol indeed. Reminds me a bit of my first husband: arguing with him was indeed banging your head against a brick wall. Note that he hasn’t been my husband for a very long time…..
Happy 60th Anniversary! Lot of truth and wisdom in what you say. April is also my anniversary month.
My wife and I come from different areas of the country. I’m from a northern state, and she is a natural born Southern Belle, so I settled in her home state. I have yet to watch or read Gone With The Wind.
Olin, you made a wise choice. You embracedthe best of a true southern. gentleman. There’s a lot of Gallantry in their DNA. Your belle found a complimentary beau.
Congratulations Marjorie and well said. Physical beauty fades with age, but values, faith and common personal beliefs grow in a healthy marriage. Judy and I are just behind you with 57 years of bliss.
Jerry, thank you. Melding together as years go by brings contentment. Marriage is a contract like no other. Two people have to be 100 percent invested.
Congratulations, Marjorie! I love your story. My husband and I are much like you and your husband – completely opposite personalities but very similar values. Hope you have wonderful plans to celebrate!
Thanks for your comments. Surprising how many opposites do make it. Respect, kindness and admiration do play a big part..
Happy Anniversary Marjorie! Enjoy the day and keep writing!
Thank you, John. I know that you and your family are very close and enjoy many activities together. Familial feeling just can’t be beat
Marjorie, congratulations on such a wonderful achievement, thank you for sharing.
I don’t know if envious is the right word to describe my feelings for people who managed to pick the right partner the first time. Perhaps amazed or impressed better describe how I feel.
It took me a couple tries to get it right, and both Chris and I are grateful for the second chance. Below is an excerpt from my first HumbleDollar effort, Beer to Taxes.
Meanwhile, after my divorce, I was middle-aged and unsure about my future marital status. I became analytical about the type of person I’d want as a romantic partner. She would be an intelligent and independent woman who didn’t need a man to survive, and someone who shared my philosophy regarding saving and spending.
I figured I’d remain single for a long time. I was wrong again.
A few years into single life, I bought a house and became fast friends with a neighbor, Chris. She worked for an accounting firm, so we had a financial background in common. Turns out that we checked each other’s boxes. That was 21 years ago, and our relationship remains awesome.
Dan, Thank you. I do remember your post quite clearly. Glad you and Chrissy found each other, they say 3rd time is a charm—Some people never find the special one.
I’m so happy for you and Rich. What a blessing you are to each other and to all who know you, together and separately. Sending my Best Wishes.
Thank you for your sweet comments, Linda
Congratulations on a remarkable achievement!
Thank you,polamalu. Have often thought that an anniversary has special meaning to the couple celebrating it, But since we don’t have family left, I am happy for the good wishes of the Humble Dollar family.
Congratulations, Marjorie, on a sparkling marriage.
Its not always easy getting through a long life or a long marriage as we all know. It’s good to know that to the world you are one person but to one person you are the world.
Thank you Ed
Nice quote. I hadn’t heard it before. Thanks.