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Including my time delivering newspapers, I’ve had a total of ten different employers in my life. Some jobs were more memorable than others. One of my early roles was at a company that created merchandise catalogs for department stores.
I was twenty—shy, insecure, and working part-time while attending college. I mostly did the tasks no one else wanted: vacuuming, taking out the trash, cleaning the bathrooms. Yet, two women at that company saw potential in me that I couldn’t yet see in myself.
One was Leni, the owner. She encouraged me to switch my major from history to business and promised that if I earned a business degree, she would make me her right-hand person. The other was Jodi, my age, who worked on staging photo shoots—and sometimes modeled herself. Fred from shipping insisted she liked me, but I never had the courage to find out.
I never took Leni up on her offer. Perhaps it was because her son, who also worked there, didn’t like me. Or maybe I simply didn’t believe in myself. As for Jodi, I never asked her out. I couldn’t imagine someone like her being interested in a guy who cleaned toilets and had no plan for his life. My shyness held me back, too.
These days, I’m no longer that shy, self-doubting kid. I tend to speak my mind—which brings me to retirement. Looking back, I realize that the habits I struggled with in my early jobs—self-doubt, hesitation, and risk avoidance—can have real consequences later in life, especially as we approach retirement. Some of what I’m about to say might be uncomfortable, but it’s important.
Here are three ways people sabotage their own retirement:
1. Neglecting our health
On a seven-hour flight to Amsterdam, the man next to me drank two regular Cokes, a glass of orange juice, and capped it off with a slice of chocolate cheesecake. It made me think about friends who never reached retirement—or whose retirements were cut short—because they didn’t take care of themselves.
I recently had lunch with my high school friend, Mark, who has diabetes. His doctor told him, “I can see from your bloodwork that you’re not following my advice. Why do you even come in if you won’t listen?” Even so, Mark still ate rice with his meal, a reminder that good intentions alone aren’t enough.
2. Divorce
I’ve seen how relationship stress can impact retirement. A couple I knew spent years arguing over blame and unmet expectations. Their inability to communicate and compromise eventually led to separation, which not only caused emotional pain but also financial strain—an example of how personal choices can shape the quality of retirement.
3. Not avoiding unnecessary risk
I was amazed at the number of people riding bikes in Amsterdam, especially the elderly, none of whom wore helmets. While biking may not seem dangerous, even small risks can have major consequences.
Take Dave, my former coworker. He planned to retire after paying off his four-year truck loan. But during a charity ride, he went headfirst over the handlebars, ignoring warning signs from earlier falls during training. The accident left him unable to work, and cost him not only his job but also his marriage.
Each of these examples—poor health choices, failed relationships, and avoidable risks—serve as reminders that retirement isn’t just about money. It’s about arriving at that stage of life with your body, relationships, and peace of mind intact.
Looking back, I often wonder how things might have turned out if I had taken more chances when I was younger—if I had believed in myself the way Leni and Jodi did. But perhaps those missed opportunities helped shape my awareness now. They taught me that the decisions we make—or avoid—don’t just affect our careers. They ripple into our later years, into our health, our relationships, and the freedom we hope to enjoy when we finally stop working.
If you still have time ahead of you, don’t wait. Take care of your body. Nurture the relationships that matter. And think twice before taking unnecessary risks that could derail your future. Retirement is not just a destination—it’s the result of a thousand choices we make along the way.
If you’re like me—no longer twenty—remember: it’s never too late to make better choices. We can’t rewrite the past, but we can shape what comes next.
Cycling in the Netherlands with its bike first infrastructure and general respect from drivers is in an entirely different risk category to cycling in the US.
“I often wonder how things might have turned out if I had taken more chances when I was younger.”
That’s difficult. By pushing the envelope one may determine what their limits are, but from time to time you’ll hit the wall and things will go off the rails. After these setbacks one gets up and continues, perhaps with additional cautions, or perhaps not.
I have the scars to show for a challenging life. Physical, mental and financial. There have been times when I have had the thought “Why didn’t I just coast?” The answer is simple. That’s not who I am or who I was.
We are the sum of our experiences and choices in life. I can say my life has been pretty rewarding in many ways. Perhaps taking risk is a price to pay, an entry fee, for what we accomplish. As for those alternate realities, had I made those other choices along the way, I really have no idea of how it would have turned out, or where I would be today. So, I don’t dwell on that.
I can say I have lived far longer with a better life than I expected. I’m currently in the bonus round.
Wise words, Dennis.
I just turned 81. I never thought I would live this long but I have been blessed by God in so many ways. I do try to take care of myself. I have had asthma since the age of 3 and developed a serious, pre cancer form of GERD about 20 years ago. This forced me to have a better diet, which is not perfect, but much better than before. I go to the gym a couple of times a week and try to put at least 3 miles a day on my step counter. I would like to do more but my body does not agree.
I think the key to a fruitful life is to always have a purpose in your life. I am still active in my church and serve on the board of two retirement groups.
We cannot change the bad decisions we made in the past (and I have made my share), but there always things we can do to improve our lives.
Good thoughts Dennis … Anyone who asks what I’m doing in retirement gets the same answer. “I have a part time job. It entails spending several hours a day stretching/lifting/doing HIIT training/running and learning all I can about continuing a healthy lifestyle” Wife is a personal trainer so that helps. A healthy person has a thousand wishes – a sick person only one!
That’s a great part time job.
George,
That’s a great attitude to have. Staying active and focused on health is the best job in retirement. That last line really says it all.
Sighhhhh. Usually I work out 1-2 hours per day, a mix of cycling, walking, rowing, strength training, and Pilates, different mixes everyday.
Last week I made it through a challenging Pilates class at the studio and then woke up in the middle of the night with my left side on fire. Tweaked my oblique. Had to go on the injured list for a few days. Today I very carefully made my way through a 30-min low impact ride. It still hurts, but I’m taking Aleve every 12 hours. Not sure how to mitigate the “risk of hurting myself while exercising.” (Probably more stretching. That’s doable.)
I also tweaked my left ankle in Bora Bora a couple of weeks ago when I slipped and fell while climbing into a boat to go jet-skiing. Maybe the lesson there is to remember that I’m 65 years old now.
Now there’s a sentence which pre-empts the need to ask how retirement is working out so far…
Dana,
I’m probably the last person to give you advice, but I follow these three principles when exercising:
Yeah, point #1 was where I went astray. The Pilates studio I go to has Level 1, 1.5, and 2 classes. You’re not allowed to sign up for Level 2 without passing a test. I’ve been taking a combo of Level 1 and 1.5 classes since I joined in March. My mistake this time was that I hadn’t been in the studio for three weeks because of travel and hadn’t worked out much during that period. I did a 1.5 class and should have stuck with Level 1. When I go back, I’m going to just do Level 1s for a few weeks until I into the swing of it again.
I’ve taken Pilates fairly regularly since 2018 (except for the COVID year), so I thought I’d be OK. Alas.
If I may, I’ll suggest that not just stretching but also strength training and mobility training would help. The latter differs from stretching in that it seeks to preserve and even improve the range of motion in your joints. This and some strength training are probably more important in preventing that ankle tweak.
Not a pro so I hope Ed Marsh pipes in on this.
I do strength training now but have been wanting to level up. There’s a gym nearby that just focuses on strength training—it has individual sessions and weekly “Strength for Seniors” classes. Now that I’m retired, I’m sure I’ll give it a try. I do strength classes on the Peloton platform, but I’d like someone with eyes on me to make sure I don’t hurt myself as I build up.
Not sure what the “Peleton platform” is. I use weight machines – started back in the 80s. It’s harder to damage yourself on those, since the movement is restricted, also the machines at my CCRC use compressed air rather than actual weights. I stopped during Covid, and had to start over very slowly. Now the gym is at the end of my corridor I have no excuse!
Understanding injury prevention and recovery is an important part of making exercise the healthy activity it should be. But that can be complicated, with ongoing adjustments to exercise choice, intensity, frequency, recovery time and so on. Even the “pros” get it wrong sometimes. For anyone, I’d suggest a consult with a local expert–for exercise design or injury treatment–is a good plan.
See my reply above—a “local expert” to level up my strength training is exactly what I have in mind.
That kind of experience can be discouraging–incurring an injury from a “healthy” activity. But think about it: that particular exercise or routine was not healthy for you. You were pushed a little too far. But, there’s a proper level and pace that is beneficial. Find it, and keep it up!
Very nice post containing a lot of wisdom in preparing and living in retirement.
First and foremost, nothing matters more than your physical health. Without it, nothing matters!
Having a good relationship with your spouse is crucial to your mental health. It is as important as physical health for your well being.
Avoiding unforced errors applies to both- in matters of physical activities, exploration and adventures and having an exciting life; and avoiding situations in social relationships that can disturb a peaceful and happy day!
The choices we don’t make often turn out to be more impactful than the ones we do make.
Thanks for another great post, Dennis. We have several people close to us who don’t take care of their health, and it’s been difficult to see them go through health issues. Two passed away last year, and one earlier this year.
Small efforts in exercise and diet can reap health benefits. For example, we’ve heard “sitting is the new smoking”. Dr. James Levine, of the Mayo Clinic-Arizona State University, noted that “luckily, the detriments of sitting can be negated by standing up and moving around“. In another recent study on the benefits of small doses of physical activity, researchers at the University of Utah School of Medicine found that people who got up and moved around for at least two minutes for every hour of sitting had a 33 percent lower risk of dying.
An excellent post Dennis; thanks. Plus the reminder on avoiding unnecessary risk taking is particularly appropriate before I start an 800 mile drive home in a few days.
Dennis, this is a great post. The word “ripple” always resonates with me. Had you become Leni’s right hand man, her son may have poisoned your coffee. Perhaps Jodi was a monster in a human suit. At any rate, you wouldn’t have the same life and family now had you made different choices way back when.
I made plenty of non-optimal choices along the way but somehow ended up exactly where I wanted to be.
Nice one, Dennis, and so true. Luck, choices, and thoughtful risk-taking compound to shape our future.
I could never imagine my life without risk. It’s that sharp, intense joy that makes life worth living—heightening my perception and pulling me out of the everyday mundane. Snowboarding challenging routes, hiking solo through difficult mountain terrain, rock climbing in my younger years, white water rafting, hurtling down steep mountain descents on my MTB—they all let you taste life at its fullest. Risk doesn’t just add excitement; it strips away everything nonessential and leaves you completely present, alive in a way that safe, predictable moments never can. I try to mitigate the risks, but I still embrace them even now, before advancing years steal these moments away from me.
I was going to write the following and then read your post which has a similar bent:
Better to incur some injuries while pushing your physical abilities than while performing normal ADLs because one is inactive.
In his song Growing Older But Not Up, Jimmy Buffett sings “I’d rather die while I’m living than live while I’m dead”. I also recall a West Virginia river rafting guide saying, “if your life is boring, risk it”.
The thrill of risk is real, but caution matters too. As we age, the cost of mistakes rises. Embracing life is great—but doing it wisely helps ensure we can keep doing what we love, longer.
I’ve heard lots of advice from West Virginia river rafting guides. The best one is “stay in the boat”, but that’s a risk we take when in the middle of a Class V rapid. Other good ones were “if you’re out of the boat, avoid the rocks”, “put your helmet on, quick”, “paddle faster”, and “if you’re out of your boat, swim toward someone else’s boat”.
LOL Jeff, now that I think about it, maybe it’s best not to take life advice from raft guides.
I can see your point Dennis; however, my life has been a random walk in the universe.
Thanks Dennis for another article that is so honest and heartfelt.
I just went to a family reunion where my cousin talked about how he has been told to lose 20kg (45lb) by his doctor due to risk of diabetes. Then 24 hours later his partner had a minor stroke. Thankfully she appears to be all OK (pending a few more tests).
As you could imagine, the weekend left me pondering lots of life big issues!
Greg,
I’m glad to hear your cousin’s partner is doing well. Those kinds of moments definitely make you stop and think.