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This morning, while sipping coffee in my sunroom, a simple thought occurred – one of those rare insights, I don’t have them often! It struck me that since retiring, my morning brew has become more enjoyable. After mulling it over, I pinpointed the reason: time. More specifically, the luxury of extra time to truly savour and embrace the entire coffee experience.
This revelation isn’t confined to my coffee cup. It’s weaving its way into other aspects of my life too. Take my garden, for instance. It’s very large, but now, tending to it has transformed from a chore into a genuine pleasure.
Even my racket sports feel different. Before, I’d squeeze in games during rushed evenings. Now, playing in the morning, with no pressure or looming deadlines, is simply glorious. The entire experience is better. And something as mundane as driving in heavy traffic? It barely registers now. An extra ten minutes here or there is genuinely neither here nor there.
In essence, I seem to have unintentionally become intentional. It’s as if I’ve been handed the keys to a slower, richer pace of life without even realizing I was looking for them.
So, tell me, my fellow Humble Dollar readers – have you been keeping this secret from the rest of the world? This ability of living life on your own terms, of reclaiming time not just to fill it, but to truly experience it?
And just while I’m at it…. Can someone please tell me why you all call coffee Joe????
Along with all the retirees I know I sometimes wonder how I found time for everything when I was working. Now, if I have a doctor’s appointment, that’s the morning (or afternoon in my case).
I think you have captured the essence of retirement! Bob
I always assumed “cuppa joe” was military slang because the only place I ever heard it was in old war movies!
My relationship to time is different from most people’s. I spent the first 19 years of my professional career in an environment where the relationship was incredibly intense — the TV newsroom. Deadlines and story times (“hey Mike, I need you to cut 15 seconds from that package!”) ruled my every thought and action.
I went directly from that to PR consulting, where immediate time mattered little — whether I got my work done at 10am or 2pm or the day after tomorrow didn’t matter as long as it got done. It took me a while to adjust.
My relationship to time changed again a decade ago when I was struck by a then-untreatable cancer, when time became something to savor and embrace as Mark does his coffee, and I realized how ridiculous my OCD-esque relationship to “being on time” had always been.
After my wildly unlikely survival, I tried to hold onto that more laissez-faire attitude towards time, but over the years I gradually found myself slipping back into my old habit of stressing about it when it didn’t really matter.
Now a reminder has come crashing in with the return of that old enemy, the shocking diagnosis of a family member with terminal cancer. Suddenly nothing matters but those few minutes of strolling with the dog or watching the birds in the yard or (literally) smelling the roses… with her.
And the other three of us find ourselves hardly glancing at the clock, having no idea what time it is, because it doesn’t matter one damn bit.
My official retirement date is July 1, but having turned in my spring quarter grades last weekend, I’m at least unofficially off the clock. I’m having a similar revelation with both coffee and bedtime. The other night I was reading a good book and kept going instead of turning off the light at 10 p.m. (that would be 22:00 for you!). Normally I’d think I had to go to sleep so I could get up early, get my workout in, and be at my desk by a certain time. But then I thought, well, what if I don’t get up quite as early? What if my usual regimented morning is pushed back by an hour or even two? So what?
Similarly, a couple of mornings ago I spent a couple of hours dawdling over my coffee before heading to my Peloton bike. Again—because I could. Now, I do save my second cup of coffee for after my ride and shower because, well, I don’t want that coffee to kick in right as I’m clipped in on the bike! 😳
It all feels very luxurious and decadent. I feel like I’ve been racing the clock and the calendar for decades. I’m wired to be anxious, and I think not always being so pressed for time is going to be my favorite thing about being retired.
As for the cup of “joe,” my husband is a talented musician and wrote a song that’s on one of his albums called “A Strong Cup of Joe.” It’s about two people who start chatting in a bar at night about the ups and downs of life. The chorus goes:
Everybody has their highs and lows
Feast or famine, that’s the way this world goes
So let’s swap some stories, it just might lighten the load
The wheel of fortune turns and never stops
Enjoy the ride, nobody stays at the top
Tonight it’s beer and bourbon, tomorrow it’s a strong cup of joe.
(c) Randy Ferris 2016
I know that doesn’t answer your question, but I thought I’d share!
Great song DrLefty!
I just listened to your husband’s song.. very good! It might amuse you to know I just spent 5 minutes on Amazon music wondering why I couldn’t get it to play until I released I had the sound on my tablet turned off 😅
Dana,
As to your first paragraph, my wife sets her alarm for 7:30 am as she’s afraid she’ll sleep too long. Doesn’t mean she immediately jumps out of bed every morning though. As for me I’m a poor sleeper usually up way before her. Later to bed too so makes for a nice long day.
I can’t help with the “Joe” inquiry, but I can say that you have a real knack for articulating your observations.
Many retirees used to tell me that they don’t know how they ever found the time to work; I think you have identified the explanation for that.
Our day begins with an hour or two reading the paper, checking emails, visiting the HumbleDollar. Finally it’s shower time, a few household chores, maybe a social lunch or a workout at the gym
Pretty soon the day is used up.
You nailed it Mark.
“Pretty soon the day is used up.”
Dan,
My wife retired a year after me and I told her that I was busy all day, and that before I know it it’s 3:00 (that’s when the school us comes through the neighborhood). She now knows exactly what I mean.
Thank you Dan that’s very kind 🙏
Coffee brings you Joe-y.
I experience the joy of coffee and relish the experience (not coffee and relish) until the dog needs to go out or I need to do something to keep the guilt from welling up keeping up with my wife because she is “doing something” and I am just sitting enjoying coffee or viewing X. We have different ideas of spending our time intentionally.
Mark, I’m happy you are enjoying your retirement. I have found that a mix of activities, coupled with relaxing times, suits me. I went from full work to part-time consulting. The consulting gigs were full-time plus for weeks or months, then weeks of nothing, I found it took some time after stopping full-time work to get comfortable with the down-time, especially with the intermittent consulting. The last few years have been easier at finding a balance.
My biggest takeaway is that there is no right way – it’s your retirement and make it work for you. And as Dick says below, don’t be too surprised if you decide to make some changes. Getting involved with HumbleDollar was nowhere on my radar, but it has been a great addition to my life. You have a long way to go, and a lot to offer.
I’ve never posted an article in my life until this week, I’m finding it enjoyable!
snopes.com has a lot to say about calling coffee “Joe.”
That’s an interesting read. Thanks for the link
Here I am sitting on our balcony with iPad in hand. It’s 8:21. I have been up since 5:45 – for no good reason.
I made my breakfast and now enjoying my second cup of Joe. It’s sunny and 70 degrees and going to 85+ they say.
Stock market futures are up.
Driving hour and a half to see a son and family tomorrow.
Starting to pack for the summer on Cape Cod.
This is retirement.
Agree with what Dick said about grandchildren. We have a minivan. Only one left in a car seat. Spouse would agree with you about the luxury of time, for the most part. We are sandwich generation and leaving tomorrow for a week visiting the other half of our sandwich: our elderly parents. It is the first visit since Spouse’s brother passing. Idk about the original of “cup of Joe”. Chris
I am beginning to think Connie and I are the only people on HD WHO ARE the elderly parents. 😎
Dick, you and Connie are younger than our parents. 😉 C
That’s encouraging. I hope you are right. Connie will be 86 tomorrow
Rather than the oldest dude in town your the oldest dude online 😂
You may have a point.
Three plus years retired, still in good health, and pinching myself everyday that I have the good fortune and privilege to experience this stage of life.
I have also had this experience, though not because of retirement. Within the last year I started replacing car trips with bike trips, and also cooking from scratch whenever possible. Both of those things take a lot of time usually, but I find that instead of being annoyed by having to drive to the store or to the library, I really get to enjoy a nice bike ride there. The same goes for cooking. It really fills my evenings with something both interesting and useful, rather than just slapping something in the microwave or the oven. I very much agree that there’s a great feeling of luxury in being able to take the time to savor what you do, to do it intentionally, and I’ll add that it’s not just limited to retirees either.
Liam,
I am hooked on Mediterranean food so for lunch each day I eat home made tabbouleh and hummus which I make from scratch. By August all but the green onions and bulgar will be from the garden. Takes about 1 1/2 hours to make 4-5 days worth.
I think they call this time freedom “retirement”.
But it starts to fade a bit. Still better than working, but you may find things start to claim your time in little ways.
Cup of Joe has several theories, but nobody really knows.
I guess it will, I’ve already been roped in with taking my grandson to school….. but we have very entertaining conversations on the drive 😁
But I imagine it still takes work to retain the “freedom”.
I see some studies that show that some retirees “crash” after the first 12 months because they don’t have enough structure (sometimes described as retiring from but not retiring to) but equally some people used to structured time pressured lives seem to recreate it.
I’m hoping to have enough projects/pursuits to never be at a loss but equally not be afraid to “skive” on days as the fancy takes me.
One big factor can be grandchildren who are nearby. Several of our friends and neighbors in our 55+ community spend lots of time with grandchildren. One guy bought a new SUV because he was doing so much driving around the grandkids and their sports equipment.
Our weekends are often full of such activities.
I never had projects, I don’t like projects. I miss traveling though.
When I stopped working everything just fell into place. Not sure why.
My project list includes a lot that are travel-related and travel-adjacent.
The grandkids thing is a great gift to both generations. Just don’t let it become a chore.
Mark,
I agree with you on everything but slow traffic (and traffic lights). Living in a rural town of five thousand and not one single traffic light they both seem like a waste of time. I like to keep moving forward.
That unfortunately really doesn’t scale.
I’m a fan of US rural 4 way stops – seems a lovely courteous way of doing things but it is a recipe for chaos in urban settings.
That’s why we have roundabouts now 👍
And just while I’m at it…. Can someone please tell me why you all call coffee Joe????
Cockney rhyming slang innit? Joseph and Mary – Scary.
Sorry a facetious little joke there about the quality of US coffee. It has really got a lot better in my lifetime.