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Better Than Ever

Dennis Friedman

MY WIFE WENT TO New York for five days with a friend. I don’t mind because I could use the rest. Over the past year, we’ve traveled from the West Coast to Europe three times, flown across the country to visit my sister and brother-in-law in Tennessee, and taken a number of car trips.

My wife loves traveling and has a lot of energy. Because of all the air miles she’s logged, she’s now qualified for United Airlines Premier Gold status. She can board the plane early and get a free economy-plus seat with extra leg room. These benefits also apply to me when we’re traveling together.

If we were a younger, working couple, I might not be as enthusiastic about my wife traveling with her friends, while I’m doing my own thing. But we still have plenty of quality time together and, at our age, I like that she has friends she can turn to if something happened to me.

There’s also an age difference between us. At 73, I’m six years older than Rachel. That might not sound a lot when you’re in your 40s or 50s. But as you grow older, that six-year gap can seem significant. I realize there’ll come a time when I might not be able—or willing—to keep up with my wife.

I walk about seven miles most days, do weight-bearing exercises and try to make good food choices. But there’s only so much you can do to slow down Father Time.

You can hit a wall where your mobility declines fairly quickly. After my father passed away, I would take my mother to Georgia to visit her family. We would fly into Atlanta, which is a large airport. It required quite a bit of walking to get to the rental car agency. But my mother made it easily. The next year, she couldn’t walk the whole distance without sitting down to rest. The third year, she needed a wheelchair.

You might think that I’m not thrilled about being a senior. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. I like my age. I think my wife and I enjoy a better life at our current age than we would if we were young again. Here are four ways life is better as an elderly person:

1. Better housing. I’ve mentioned before how much I love where we live. We were lucky to inherit our home from my parents. It’s in a great neighborhood with a lake, parks and an abundance of trees in one of California’s safest cities. It attracts many families because of the excellent school system and a thriving job market.

Unfortunately, the price of housing has skyrocketed. It’s gotten so bad that, according to a poll reported in the UC Irvine News, high housing costs were the primary reason a third of residents are considering moving out of Orange County, with the cost of living a close second.

We’d probably be one of them if we were younger. I can’t imagine our younger selves being able to afford a home, which costs more than $1 million on average in our community. Even if we could, I think our frugality would get in the way.

2. Better equipped to deal with inflation. I complain a lot about the high cost of groceries, insurance, gasoline and all the other stuff we need or enjoy. But the truth is, these higher prices haven’t affected us like it would if we were younger.

All those years of saving and investing have allowed us to build a nest egg large enough to thwart inflation’s effects on our lifestyle. We still travel, attend concerts and eat at our favorite restaurants.

3. Less stress. I can still remember the first day I was retired. That morning when I woke up, it felt like a 50-pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt so relaxed.

No more unrealistic deadlines, unruly coworkers, 12-hour work days, battling morning and evening rush hour traffic, sleep deprivation and money worries. All the things that can stress you out.

Now, I can choose who I spend my precious time with. I can enjoy the day, while many folks are stuck at work. I can get plenty of sleep and even take an afternoon nap. More important, the days of saving and worrying about whether we’ll have enough for retirement are over. Now, we can relax and know all our hard work has paid off.

4. Sense of accomplishment. I don’t think I ever felt more satisfied with myself than I do today. When I was younger, most of my accomplishments were derived from my job.

But now that I’m retired, I realize those work accomplishments aren’t as important as some of the things I’ve done since retirement. I take great pride in having cared for my elderly parents during their time of need, and in helping make my wife’s life more enjoyable and less worrisome.

Dennis Friedman retired from Boeing Satellite Systems after a 30-year career in manufacturing. Born in Ohio, Dennis is a California transplant with a bachelor’s degree in history and an MBA. A self-described “humble investor,” he likes reading historical novels and about personal finance. Follow Dennis on X @DMFrie and check out his earlier articles.

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Mike Gaynes
9 days ago

I’m so sorry for Dennis and some of the other folks here who have shared their “50-pound weight” feeling — not for the joy and relief of retirement, of course, but for having spent so much of their lives in job situations that made them feel that way. Being able to do something you love is a true gift.

Martin McCue
9 days ago

I agree with the 50-pound weight analogy. I worked in areas with tight deadlines and big dollars at stake, and where people often relied on skills I had and they didn’t have. That was OK (and rewarding) when the work was constructive and/or interesting. Late in my career, the work shifted as the industry matured, and things required less creativity and judgment. I knew it was time to move on. I chose the day, ramped down my work, guided my clients and pulled the retirement trigger. I recall taking a series of long relaxing deep breaths that first retirement day, looking up at a blue sky, and knowing I now was free to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to, with whomever I chose to do it with. It has been great.

Ocher
10 days ago

Thanks for your thoughtful commentary about retirement Dennis. I have been retired for four years but occasionally miss my work. I taught and researched at university – the same one – for 39 years. In retirement we’ve downsized, travelled more, and have explored new hobbies. I’ve taken woodworking classes and Diane has taken watercolor courses. I begin teaching a course at a Maine Senior College next month. I’m looking forward to returning to the classroom with a group of seniors who I anticipate will be very different than the undergrads and grad students I taught in my earlier life.

Michael1
12 days ago

Nice article Dennis. I enjoy your perspective, as usual.

Jeff Bond
12 days ago

Dennis – I always enjoy your articles. We are aligned in many ways – mostly in very good fortune to be in the position we find ourselves today.

DAN SMITH
13 days ago

Dennis, for the past week we’ve been holed up at a pretty fancy resort in Port Charlotte. Chrissy’s sister’s wedding is why we came, and I am using the trip as an excuse to visit a handful of friends, some of whom I have not seen for 30 plus years. We’re are living the life of Riley (an expression Chris never heard before I said it yesterday).
So you describe our situation pretty accurately. Still, I don’t ever want to forget where I came from. We did the right things and maintained good health (so far).
Not everyone is so lucky.

R Quinn
13 days ago

I agree with your points from my perspective, but for many, perhaps most seniors, life is not like that at all.

There is more stress over money and many other things especially health. Sadly, many retirees are not equipped to deal with inflation.

In my condo building of twelve units there are 24 garage spaces. Only two don’t contain a Mercedes, Porsche, BMW, Jaguar or Lexi’s. Four of the 12 are widows. It’s not the real world of retirement.

Retirement, even getting older, has its good points, but it is far from universally ideal..

David Rhoades
9 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

Thank you for pointing out the financial condition that most retirees in America find themselves in today, where the vast majority of them did not inherit the house they live in that is worth upwards of $1,000,000 today.
(“We were lucky to inherit our home from my parents.”)

He didn’t also mention the fact that his property taxes are VERY low due to the fact that he inherited his parents low assessed value (because it was purchased by them many years ago) and CA Proposition 13 caps our yearly assessed value increase at 2%.

(I also live in Irvine, CA)

I think Mr. Friedman should be thanking his parents and Lady Luck every day for his wonderful retirement.

Jonathan Clements
Admin
9 days ago
Reply to  David Rhoades

I consider your comment unnecessarily snarky. For his wonderful retirement, Dennis can thank his own frugality over many decades. When his mother died — whom he spent most of his initial retirement years looking after, following a period looking after his father — he’d been retired for a decade, living in the mortgage-free condo he’d bought on his own dime and living on the savings he’d amassed during his career. You’d be hard-pressed to find somebody more admirable, which is why Dennis is beloved by the HD community.

David Rhoades
9 days ago

Thank you for admonishing me, Jonathan.
I agree that my comment was a bit snarky, and I apologize to Mr. Friedman.

I was really admiring Mr. Quinn’s continued show of compassion for the poor financial condition that many (a majority?) of American seniors and retirees find themselves in, for a myriad of reasons, but probably mostly due to their relative (to Humble Dollar readers) low lifetime income.

I know that HD article contributors and commentors do their best to give good advice and try to help others, and I thank and applaud them for that.

BTW: I thank my parents, who gave my wife and I $6,000 and lent us another $6,000 for a total of a $12,000 down payment (20%) toward the purchase price of $60,000 for our first house in Concord, CA in 1975, And I also thank Lady Luck for our lifetime of good health, good paying jobs, healthy, happy and successful children and no personal misfortunes.

I gave your comment a thumbs up and my comment a thumbs down.

Dennis Friedman
13 days ago
Reply to  R Quinn

Dick, I agree with your comments. I never intended to say that all seniors are not struggling with money and health issues. I only meant to say that I enjoy being a senior because in some ways my life is better than when I was younger.

R Quinn
13 days ago

I agree with that.

DrLefty
13 days ago

Point #3 made me check my retirement countdown app. Five months and two days!

Stacey Miller
13 days ago
Reply to  DrLefty

You will love it!

David Lancaster
11 days ago
Reply to  Stacey Miller

I tell people it’s the best “job” I’ve ever had.

Patrick Brennan
9 days ago

Indubitably.

Stacey Miller
13 days ago

I do not miss working.

Now every day is full of possibility, even if it’s “only” reading, walking our hound, or talking with a friend.

Current tasks are related to gathering tax documents for our & my parents’ returns. On the horizon is a long-awaited trip to Ireland. We aim to take two international trips a year for the next decade. My stipulation is they are countries we have not visited before. Sweden & Norway should happen by 2026 (I am a quarter Swedish.) I need to get serious about my geneology hobby, which is in its early stages. If anyone is a guru, I’m open to tips. So far my best help is Find A Grave, where I’ve unearthed (😀) a lot of relatives. My oldest son doesn’t want me to submit DNA to any third- party genealogy services, but it surely would speed up building the family tree!

Last edited 13 days ago by Stacey Miller
David Lancaster
11 days ago
Reply to  Stacey Miller

Before we were sequestered by taking in my 103 year old mother in law we were taking two trips per year one in late May early June the other in September. One trip internationally (for me > my wife), and in the northeast where we live. Although the airlines have figured out that a lot of seniors are now taking these shoulder season trips and have jacked up prices we have not run into crowds so it’s worth it. That being said my plan is once my mother in law has passed away we will going somewhere within a month or so. The itch to travel is even stronger after being grounded for eight months.

PS: Not complaining about the situation as my mother in law is the most grateful, true Christian I have ever met. Just dreaming of the future when we will be, as Willie Nelson sings, On The Road Again.

Last edited 11 days ago by David Lancaster
David Rhoades
9 days ago

Oh G-d, I hope your MIL doesn’t read your post.

Michael1
12 days ago
Reply to  Stacey Miller

Greetings from the Emerald Isle. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

phenomenal8f6ba2e774
13 days ago
Reply to  Stacey Miller

For a trip last year to explore family roots in Sweden we hired a Swedish genealogist I found through a Google Search, and she drove our family of three generations of travelers around to visit homes and churches of relevance for two days. For a very modest hourly fee she extended our own research, translated documents for us, added historic context to things we did not understand, drove us around (though Sweden is very easy driving for Americans) and found great places for lunch. And she continued to help us post-travel correct some errors in our Ancestry.com family tree.

Stacey Miller
13 days ago

That is encouraging! My grandma was a Swanson, so I’m sure there are many trails to follow. I need to get on it!

Rick Connor
13 days ago

Good morning Dennis. Thanks for an enjoyable story. I’m reading this in NYC. We are watching our 11 and 9 year old grandsons for the week while their parents are on travel. It’s a lot of fun. I got up early and went for fresh bagels this morning. I enjoyed watching the people walking to school, work, and hustling for the subway. Next is walking them to school, including a short subway ride. It kind of reminds me of the business of getting up for work everyday. I don’t miss it, and I agree with #3.

Edmund Marsh
13 days ago

Thank you for an uplifting article. Topics two and four are usually ascribed as problems for elderly persons. But your planning means you don’t rely on a fixed income that couldn’t handle inflation, and you are finding purpose beyond your working years.

Housing is certainly a problem for Californians. Two of my wife’s siblings live in houses that they couldn’t buy today. Another moved back East, and the capital gain from the house sale helped finance his last years.

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