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PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME say I’m sentimental, and they’re right. I like visiting places like my elementary school, the house where I grew up and my first home away from home. They bring back fond memories.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve become more nostalgic, and it isn’t just me. I heard that the ashes of my childhood friend Brian were spread over our grade school grounds. He must have had a touch of nostalgia, too.
I’m not yearning to turn back the clock. I’ve always thought my life has gotten better as I’ve got older. But nowadays, I don’t expect too much from life. If I can just wake up tomorrow feeling okay, that’s good enough for me.
Lately, I’ve been on a mission to keep my body moving, because life might pass you by if you don’t. I believe that’s one of the keys to staying fit and vibrant.
When we travel, we do most of the heavy-lifting ourselves. We walk, drive and ride a train, bus or boat to our destination, rather than relying on a tour company or a car service. I like to think it helps keep us in good shape mentally and physically. Another plus to our do-it-ourselves traveling is that it costs less and we can take more trips on our $45,000 annual budget.
Of course, you can move without having to travel. I like walking the neighborhood, working in our yard and occasionally going on a hike with my wife.
I learned a lot about growing old from taking care of my mother. When I was her caregiver, I worried that I’d die before her. I thought her life would be too difficult and painful without my help. She told me many times, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Now, I’m beginning to realize how painful it would be for me if I outlived Rachel and how my life would be turned upside down. It’s much easier to land on your feet when you’re young. But at age 73, it would be extremely hard for me to adjust to life without her.
The reverse, of course, is also true. That’s why I’m following my neighbor Paul’s lead in trying to ensure Rachel’s life isn’t unnecessarily hard without me around. I usually pass Paul’s house on my daily walk. One day, I noticed he was tenting his house for termites. About a month later, he was replacing the roof and then the garage door. Later, painters were giving his house a fresh coat of paint. The walkway leading to his front door was redone. Even the number on his home shone nice and bright again.
Paul must have spent a small fortune fixing up the house. I thought it was a little odd of him, having all this work done in such a short period of time. Then I stopped seeing Paul on my walks.
I found out later Paul has cancer. He’s now in a hospice home. It then dawned on me that he was getting the necessary repairs to his house done, so his wife wouldn’t have to deal with them. He was trying to make life easier for her after he was gone.
A few weeks ago, I needed a plumber to unclog a kitchen drain. While he was here, I had him replace our 17-year-old water heater, even though it wasn’t acting up. I was following Paul’s lead.
Next on my list are replacing our home’s front windows, for which we’ll have to get approval from our two homeowners’ associations. A new patio and brick wall are also on the horizon. If we were younger, all this work would have been put off to a much later date. But like Paul, I too want to make sure that life will be easier for my wife.
Dennis Friedman retired from Boeing Satellite Systems after a 30-year career in manufacturing. Born in Ohio, Dennis is a California transplant with a bachelor’s degree in history and an MBA. A self-described “humble investor,” he likes reading historical novels and about personal finance. Follow Dennis on X @DMFrie and check out his earlier articles.
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Great article, Dennis. You’ve given me a lot to think about, that I hadn’t even considered before.
i’ve been doing the same, maintenance, for the last 5 yrs or so. tryin’ to not leave problems. i’ve been callin’ it “pickin’ up the pieces.”
Like you, I’ve replaced my water heater before it failed; likewise my central air conditioner. Preventive maintenance is one key to a hassle free life. A 50 year concrete tile roof and Hardie board siding (never needing paint) have allowed an easier aging-in-place existence since we had our house built 25 years ago. I, too, am a California transplant from the midwest via a circuitous route of NC, Panama, Taiwan, FL, and OH -courtesy of the USAF. I enjoy your posts.