I ALWAYS THOUGHT my father was a brave man. It wasn’t just because he served in World War II. It had to do with a few incidents that I witnessed.
I’ll never forget when my dad and I went to McDonald’s for a late evening meal. I was probably in the eighth grade. I believe my mother was working late that night. It must have been a Friday because a lot of teenagers were hanging out in the parking lot.
It was the 1960s, when folks would often eat their food in their car. While we were consuming our burgers and fries, a fight broke out in the parking lot. I said to myself, “We should get out of here before things really get out of control.” But my father thought otherwise. We were going to finish our meal.
There were three teenagers in the car next to us. They started to get out of their vehicle to join the fight. My dad wasn’t a big man, and these three guys looked like they were big enough to be on the high school football team.
Still, my dad stuck his head out of the window and yelled, “Get back in your car.” Those guys looked at my dad, and slowly sat back down and shut the car doors. I don’t know what my dad would have done if they’d ignored him.
We stayed until order was restored. I always thought my dad was courageous that night. Today, some might say he was foolish.
But what might have been even more courageous was when my father accepted a job in California. In summer 1961, when we lived in Canton, Ohio, my dad answered a help wanted ad in the local newspaper. It was for a job as a machinist in Los Angeles. At the time, Southern California companies were looking for skilled labor.
He was offered the job after a telephone interview. Although the company paid all our travel expenses, I often thought it took courage for my father to uproot his family, head to a faraway place he’d never seen, and leave his job to work for a company he knew little about.
We drove our 1956 Ford Fairlane on a long, hot and humid journey across the country in hopes of a better life. I remember it was so hot in Arizona we had to hang a bag full of ice over the radiator to keep the car from overheating.
The company paid for our stay at a motel in Culver City. My dad would go to work during the day at a machine shop that did work for aerospace companies. My mother, sister and I hung around the motel, waiting for him to return. After a few days, it was clear California would be our new home, so my mother, sister and I took a train back to Canton to sell the house and most of our belongings. My parents’ Ohio starter home sold for $10,000.
As a 10-year-old, I didn’t realize that this cross-country trip was the start of my own journey to financial freedom. We weren’t just driving that Ford Fairlane to Los Angeles so my parents could find steady employment. We were also going to a place where my sister and I would find more economic opportunities.
When I graduated college, there were still plenty of job opportunities with major aerospace companies in the area. I went on to enjoy a fulfilling career in the aerospace industry, and I owe much of my success to my parents and that old Ford that took us to a land of opportunity.
Now that I’m retired, I sometimes think that my wife and I should take that cross-country trip in the other direction, in hopes of finding a better retirement. The cost of living is much cheaper in other parts of the country. In California, gasoline is more expensive and food prices are higher, plus our insurance premiums went up sharply this year.
We could sell our house and buy a nice home in the Midwest or the South, and still have money left over. But I think deciding where to live in retirement should involve more than money. I believe we have a better chance to live a longer and healthier life if we stay in Southern California.
We can have a more active lifestyle because the weather is milder here. We can walk, run, hike, bike, golf and work in our garden all year round. The summers can be hot, but not humid. There’s also less risk of falling down and breaking a hip during the winter season.
When I was in college, I had a professor—an older gentleman. On the first day of class, he was telling the students about himself. He said he recently moved to California from Indiana. For the sake of his health, his doctor recommended that he move to a place where the climate was milder.
While he was telling us his story, he began rubbing the top of his bald head. He said, “Not only do I think my health is better, I think my hair is starting to grow back.”
I don’t think my hair will grow back. But like that professor, I think my wife and I have a better chance of living a longer and healthier life if we stay put.
Dennis Friedman retired from Boeing Satellite Systems after a 30-year career in manufacturing. Born in Ohio, Dennis is a California transplant with a bachelor’s degree in history and an MBA. A self-described “humble investor,” he likes reading historical novels and about personal finance. Check out his earlier articles and follow him on X @DMFrie.
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I also have roots in Canton, Ohio. My father and paternal grandparents were born there. I still have relatives there.
My family moved to California in the ‘60s. First my aunt (my mother’s sister) moved to San Francisco, followed by my maternal grandmother, a divorced career woman who got her company to transfer her to SF. They were both over Chicago-area winters.
My family (my parents, baby sister and me) lived first in Evanston, IL and then in New Jersey, and my father commuted to NYC for work. They came out to California to visit my aunt and grandmother on vacation and that was it—my dad put in for a transfer to SF, my grandmother found us a rental house in Marin County, just across the bridge from SF, and we moved right before my fifth birthday. Even though I wasn’t born here, I consider myself a lifer.
My sense is your dad didn’t take what he did in either case as courageous.
Having said that compared to fighting in a world war both probably felt relatively risk free.
I know it was a different time but we moved across country with 3 small children’s from NE to SE and I recall discussing with my wife “if we don’t like it, the decision is not irreversible”
Great article and tribute to your father, he took IMHO a modest risk and it paid off for many
Dennis, thanks for the blog, I admire courageous risk takers. Was it your Dad’s courage or his faith that inspired the trip west?
This is a great article Dennis. I had 3 thoughts while reading. One is the rippling effect that the move had on all of your lives right up to present day, two is that your health is paramount, and three is holy crap, a cross country trip in a 56 Ford that likely had no AC.
Dan, Thanks for the comments. You’re right, our car didn’t have any air conditioning. What I remember most about that trip was how hot it was.
I lived in Phoenix for two years driving a Ford Pinto Runabout (for the older folk AKA as the explosion mobile) without AC. The only saving grace was a manual crank sunroof. In the summer after work I would use an oven mitt to open the push button door, open up the windows and roof, start the car fan, wait for five minutes then drive like hell. When our children would get in our car after a day at the beach here in NH and would complain that the car was hot before the AC cooled it down I would reply… when I lived in Phoenix…
many years ago in my 30s, I raised my hand for an international project. One project lead to another and I ended up working internationally for several years. During this time the rent was paid for and my income effectively doubled. I was saving so much money I was forced to do something and so I started to learn about investing. If i had not been willing to raise my hand and move, I don’t think I would have started investing that early. Once i got married and had kids I settled down, but I recommend young folks take the chance with projects and relocations.
Nice article, Dennis. I’ve often wondered at the courage it took to uproot a life and move for economic opportunity. I know many folks who ancestors left Italy, Ireland, Croatia, … to come to a foreign land for a better life. Many never got back to their home lands. But I guess that is the history of America.
Moving in retirement takes a lot of thought. We’ve moved twice in three years. The first w move was a temporary step until we figured out where wanted to end up. We are now in a good place, close to our children, and not far from our ancestral homes, some family, and friends. We actually moved to a more expensive area, but we feel we gained a lot. My wife describes it this way – we bought a retirement full of great memories, and a house came with it.
Rick, no place is perfect. But it sounds like you and your wife found an area about as close as you can get to being perfect. Good job.
I spent a good bit of time in the San Jose area in the 1999-2001 time frame. I understand the attraction from a climate and natural beauty perspective–I really enjoyed my time out there. Still, I know several people who relocated to California thinking it was the promised land only to return within a year or two. One friend in particular had lived there years ago and presumably knew what he was getting into. He and his wife bought a beautiful house only to return to PA less than a year later. Let’s just say California has changed in ways unrelated to climate and terrain.
I’m not sure why you needed to take a pot shot at California. I’ve lived here since 1965 and it’s awesome and I wouldn’t live anywhere else. To each their own.
Sorry for the offense. I was just relating some experiences that have made an impression on me. I’m glad you, Dennis, and millions of others love living there, and as I said, I enjoyed my time out there. I think people moving into the state often have a different experience than folks like you who have been there for decades. And if it’s any consolation, the article I wrote about where I live turned out to be one of my least liked pieces.
For what it’s worth, I agree, not about California as such, but staying put and not disrupting your lives.
I never could understand the retirement that involves leaving your roots to relocate sometimes to a place you have only been to on a vacation for two weeks. And often leaving family and long time friends behind.
My family has lived within five miles of where we live now since the 1840s. That may be the extreme in the stay put strategy.
I know many people are happy relocating in retirement but I also know several who wish they hadn’t especially those who did so out of necessity to find a lower cost area.