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THESE WORDS STRIKE fear into the heart of any husband: “Honey, the [insert: A/C, heat, refrigerator, roof, foundation] doesn’t seem to be working.” But from 2017 to 2021, they were mere words to me, no different than, “Honey, let’s go out for coffee.”
For four glorious years, my wife and I traveled around the world and the country, unfettered and unburdened. If we ran into any equipment issues, they were immediately referred to the landlord for rectification. Even if they couldn’t be immediately resolved, they were now someone else’s responsibility to correct and, more important, to worry about.
In 2022, soon after purchasing a new home, my wife uttered, “Honey the A/C doesn’t seem to be working,” as I dozed while reading—if I remember correctly—Security Analysis. I joked that she should inform the landlord, but when she replied, “I just did,” the worrying began.
I don’t mind the small stuff, such as minor plumbing issues. In fact, they can bring a fair amount of satisfaction. It’s the big stuff that has taken some getting used to. Like the A/C not working. Here are the top five issues we’ve encountered since we settled down:
1. Owning a car may be the birthright of every American. It offers the freedom to travel, but also the tyranny of ownership. Most of our worldwide travel was accomplished sans auto and, therefore, sans worrying about tire rotation, the check blood pressure light or finding parking. We now have a garage, and a car sits in it. I’d rather not have the worry. But then again, I’m proud to be an American.
2. Where we live, property taxes are reassessed every two years, and I’m anxiously awaiting my new assessment. I’m hopeful it’ll be more than fair. But fair or not, I have no idea how our home’s value is determined. If you do your own income taxes, you have a good idea how they were calculated, but not so with property taxes. If I don’t like it, I guess I need to file a dispute, right? As my mother used to intone, “Please say a prayer.”
And don’t get me started on state income taxes. While they’re slightly less inscrutable than property taxes, they operate on a different paradigm than federal taxes and therefore have a less comforting way of handling my dividends. During my travels, I was a proud citizen of the great state of Texas. But now I’m a citizen of another state—one that, unfortunately, has an income tax.
3. After a year abroad, we spent the next three interviewing cities for residence. We finally settled down in a city we’d never lived before. Which besides requiring the acquisition of a new residence, required the acquisition of new friends.
Well, past a certain age, which is less than my current age, this is easier said than done. After moving in, I thought I made one, but soon after was informed, “Guess what? My house is for sale. I’m moving.”
While we have made a couple of good friends subsequently, it’s been an uphill struggle. We live in a condo filled with much younger residents and I think there may be an element of ageism. Then again, it may be an element of me.
4. When we unpacked the POD that contained all our earthly possessions—after wondering why we packed so much of this “gold” in the first place—my wife said to me, “Let’s keep it all in the garage and only unpack the stuff we really need.” I heartily agreed with her. I imagined myself as Robert De Niro in the movie Heat, a professional thief living in an empty house, so he could clear out at the drop of a hat and stay one step ahead of the law.
Needless to say, the house is now filled with all the stuff from the garage, as well as some additional stuff. While some stuff is necessary for living, sometimes I fondly remember what it was like to be on the run.
5. A few months after moving in, I was lying on our new couch, either watching CNBC or Chicago Fire, when I noticed water was dripping from the ceiling A/C vent. It turns out the drain on the patio above was leaking, but due to my hawk-like vision, damage to our recently unpacked Noguchi-inspired coffee table was avoided.
The author enjoys the Toronto skyline, while wondering whether his house is on fire
A permanent repair took many months. During that time and after, I didn’t worry when it rained, as I could keep an eye on everything. But when we were traveling and it rained, it was all I could think about. It made me realize there’s only one thing better than travel, and that’s travel without having to worry about the car, property taxes, making friends and coffee tables.
Having a new home has brought some changes, some worry and, I hope, some new friends. As I type this, I’m drinking a Molson Canadian Lager, as there’s no better way to enjoy the sunset while overlooking the Toronto skyline. Still, if you have a chance, could you swing by our house and make sure everything is okay?
Michael Flack blogs at AfterActionReport.info. He’s a former naval officer and 20-year veteran of the oil and gas industry. Now retired, Mike enjoys traveling, blogging and spreadsheets. Check out his earlier articles.
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Mike: I feel your pain. Just in the past month I have paid the following for objects less than 7 years old (they really don’t make them like they used to): $750 Toro mower, $2k washer and dryer, $2k Rinaii water heater, kitchen sink itself not the connections (TBD), Subaru Forrester (10 years old). While very irritating as we are living off of retirement savings while delaying Social Security, I feel privileged that it’s just another “check” that I can afford to write. I also think of reports that the average American can’t afford an unexpected $400 bill. But here’s looking forward to 2024!
David Lancaster, I had to replace an HVAC system last year – it can be very irritating.
Mike, might also the “Moose” be loose at times in the Flak household? This, taken from the Moosehead website, seems to sum up the Flak mystique: “Dedicated to those who have the courage to turn obstacles into opportunities and the passion that makes a hard day’s work so rewarding”.
Patrick Brennan, no Moose Juice for me! Didn’t see any during my tour of Canada – only Molson and that craft stuff.
I know they say it is a good financial decision to get down to one car but a second (if even inexpensive) takes the car chaos down a notch.
rayanmiller6303, reducing chaos is definitely a good thing, though one car is more than enough for me and the Missus.
Love the article! My wife and I will soon be in a similar boat, “interviewing” cities and towns to see where we’ll move to when I retire. Just curious—where did you look and where did you settle?
Here’s the earlier article that Mike wrote about “interviewing” cities:
https://humbledollar.com/2023/10/on-the-road-to-home/
Thanks, Jonathan
You sure have an interesting and entertaining writing method that always catches my attention. I laughed with empathy. You live a simple but rewarding life that many of us would like to replicate. Never stop writing for HD!
Olin, thanks for the kind words, for reading and for the encouragement. I’ve started working on my next article.
You’re living your dream, and I love that for you!
Ben Rodriguez, thank you!
Ah, the joys of home ownership. Dealing with home maintenance was one of the reasons I moved to a CCRC. Now I just file a maintenance request online. I’m making some new friends, too.
mytimetotravel, sounds like you had a good plan.
What car has a ” blood pressure light” , I assume tire pressure! Recently mine came on due to a nail in tire. Discount Tire is my go-to for that.
James McGlynn CFA RICP®, While the tire pressure warning light has been an issue, at least you know what the issue is. I was specifically referencing the check engine light, which is a little less specific.
Well, with modern technology, anything is possible. Maybe it will drive you to the hospital if necessary?
Two of my good friends, brothers Ken and Guy, are quite different from one another. Ken loves travel and adventure while Guy prefers the tranquility of his small town home. I heard Ken tell Guy that he was stuck in a rut, to which Guy replied “well, it’s a comfortable rut”.
Welcome to your comfortable rut.
Dan Smith, thanks for the brotherly advice!
Sound’s like you have entered the real world with the rest of us.
We moved into a 55+ condo community, but the average age is more like 75, which for us is fine and it was easy to make friends.
As you found out, owning a condo doesn’t get you out from under those major repairs or property taxes.
Welcome to the club.
R Quinn, sounds like you are the head of the welcoming committee. Can I stop by for a drink?