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In a previous article I wrote about food waste in America even as 7 million Americans are reported as food insecure.
I occasionally feel food insecure, but not in the real sense. My experience comes from fugal relatives and friends. Have you ever had dinner with family or friends and been afraid to take a reasonable portion of the food? I can’t imagine what some hosts are thinking.
I was at a holiday dinner and when the turkey being passed around got to me only a wing was left. We have one relative who regularly serves a meal for six that might feed two. Better hope you are not at the wrong end of the table.
I’m not a glutton, but I do like to take my mashed potatoes with serving spoon, not teaspoon.
To make matters worse there is always someone at the table oblivious to the situation who loads his plate like it’s his last meal. Some children like to think of themselves first as well. I recall often telling our young children to “leave some for someone else.” I rarely hear that these days although maybe the parent is texting them at the table.
There is the other end of the spectrum too. Connie is there. We had our family of 23 home yesterday and disposing of the leftovers will be a race between our ability to eat them and spoilage. Connie had a idea, ask each family to bring one of their holiday favorites. I lost my argument to coordinate the request – we have a pie and two cakes sitting on the kitchen counter – Connie made desert too.
So, if you are hosting, forget frugality, the loaves and fishes isn’t going to work in your house. If you are a guest, assess the table before diving in, especially if your spouse is at the other end of the table.
For the holiday gatherings, make everything you want, in an excessive amount. That’s why God created freezers. And, yes, many desserts do freeze and are just as good thawed months later.
Well, it happened again New Years Eve-10 guests, food for 6. 😱🫒🍗🥒
My family is more on the extreme of providing ridiculous amounts of food. For example, we had a smallish Christmas dinner for six this year, and I asked my brother to bring bread to accompany the cassoulet I made as a main dish. He brought a huge slab of focaccia and a package of 12 brioche buns. For six people! I’ve still got at least half of all that in the freezer.
You had me at mashed potatoes, though. I’m the designated mashed potatoes provider at Thanksgiving because I have a great recipe for the Instant Pot that I’ve perfected and no one wants anything different. The first time I brought them, I think we had 13 people at dinner. My brother-in-law, the host, said I should prepare 7.5 lbs of potatoes (the recipe calls for 5 lbs, so I did math). Those potatoes fed 13 people, left ample leftovers for our hosts, and I took enough home to repurpose into a fabulous shepherds pie that fed us for two dinners and two lunches.
cassoulet? My favorite. Our friend in France took us to her parents home and she made a giant cassoulet – the best meal I ever had.
Happy New Year, Dana. I’m impressed – cassoulet, shepherds pie, … I need an invite some year! You have to share the mashed potato recipe – it sounds amazing.
Here you go! The best part of it is you don’t have to peel or drain the potatoes. I use Yukon Gold. You could also leave out the garlic if you just want “straight” mashed potatoes.
https://www.copymethat.com/r/MVqdIpVZ0/instant-pot-garlic-mashed-potatoes/
First time I had one of these experiences I looked at my mom and we both just shook our heads, no words necessary.
Thank you for such a poignant holiday post.
Blessedly, neither my wife nor I have ever experienced any sort of real hunger. We’re both middle class and grew up in homes with plenty of food for everyone.
Yet, while the United States is the wealthiest country in world history, too many people here ARE going hungry.
Which is why we try to donate monthly to both our local and regional food pantries.
As a grandson of immigrants one of the greatest social embarrassments would be not having enough to go around for all your guests. To this day we prepare way too much food and some goes to waste. Dick you are welcome to come and bring your appetite.
My wife didn’t realize she grew up poor until she was a young adult. Just the other day she recounted that one year as Thanksgiving approached her mother said they were going to have only what they had in the house to eat, and of course that meant no turkey, and eating mostly what they had grown in their gardens.
With this background in mind my sister in law recounts on one Christmas Day she had her parents over for dinner, and with them she had five people to serve. She left her father in the kitchen to carve the bird as once he had been a butcher. When he presented the platter and she saw how little was there and she said, “No Daddy carve the entire bird.”
His response was, “that is the entire bird.” This episode is different in that she had the means to buy enough, she just didn’t know how little meat a goose can produce.
When I started dating my wife, I noticed that her Italian mother’s holiday meals were more than ample. I mentioned this to her older brother, a physicist, who explained that the theory at big holiday meals was you cooked enough so that “after everyone has eaten, and everyone is stuffed, there is as much left as when you started”. In retrospect, her mom did an amazing job of stretching a truck driver’s pay and, later, a part-time nurse’s pay, to feed and house 5 kids.
When my Italian wife cooked for me the first time I thought the antipasto was the meal, then I thought the pasta was the meal and then we had the meal.
I was born in the Caribbean island pf Dominica which is very beautiful, but is still one of the poorest least developed countries in the world. While food insecurity wasn’t a term we used, it was something we experienced quite regularly. We never went hungry but I can remember my grandmother struggling to provide meals for us. She didn’t work, but instead raised 5 grandchildren left behind by parents who immigrated to other countries including my mother who moved to the US. My grandfather had a job as a messenger earning about $120 per month and most of that went towards the mortgage on the home, the electric, water and he gave her a small stipend for food.
It seemed like the last week of the month were the toughest as she had to wait for remittances from my mom or aunts and uncles which were promptly used to pay the local shopkeepers for the groceries she bought on credit the previous month before starting the cycle over again. Sometimes during what she would term particular ‘brown’ months, she would have to credit her groceries from multiple shops so we could have something to eat. We never went hungry due to her efforts, but I still remember the stress she felt each time she had to figure out what was going into the pot that day. I can still remember her one financial wish was that she would be able to purchase groceries outright each month and not have to ask the local shopkeepers for credit.
Even in the brown months, when she would cook food, sometimes too much food, more than we could eat that day. He rationale was that if someone stopped by, they might be hungry and they would be able to have a meal.
After I migrated to the US and I began sending remittances home to help, she would always express her profound gratitude for those remittances. Between a sibling, two cousins and I, we ensured that she and my grandparents wanted for nothing and their financial needs were always met. We were able to pay for her home care in her later years until she passed at age 102. There was no social net from the government until at aged 100 where she received $120 US dollars and a cylinder of propane each month. She passed away living in what she termed the most luxurious of circumstances. My grandfather just turned 101 this month, and he too is taken care off by the remittances sent home by us.
As I reflect on this year and in past years, here in the US, I always hosted thanksgiving dinner and sometimes Christmas dinner for the extended family, sometimes over 30 people at once. I can still remember my grandmother’s statement, what if someone stopped by, they could have something to eat. I always prepared much more food than what the guests we were expected to eat. The left overs were packaged and sent home with the guests. I have also started packing some food for my neighbors which has only made us more endeared to them. When I look at the grocery bill, I wonder if I am wasting money and should I cut back in some areas: then I remember growing up with food insecurity and I tell myself to stop it! Food is not that expensive and feeding family should be an honor.
Not to take shots, but I have family members who do the opposite and will try to cook just enough for the expected number of guests making me roll my eyes and label them as cheap. I wonder if they had their own versions of food insecurity which affects how they view things.
Sorry for the long post here. I am wishing this community a very happy and healthy new year. My goal for 2025 is to be simply a good human, even to those I disagree with. I will let people cut in front of me and not even be upset, if it made their day better, then I lived true to my 2025 goal.
Mike – thanks for this reply, and bless you for helping your family.
This is yet another reminder that so many people may seem to be fine, but still need help to get by.
Very nice post. Thank you for your reflections on your life. Those of us who never experienced any kind of want have a lot to learn.
LOL, we are the polar opposite of this scenario as well. We prepare and serve so much food that we could host two meals/ events from one party. This past Sunday we hosted our family and a couple of friends for our Hanukkah celebration, about 16 attendees including kids. We had so much food leftover that we sent home doggie bags/ boxes with our daughters and we still kept enough for dinner tonight for ourselves.
Joe, I love the reference to “family hold back” as we will use that quote when we think we MIGHT not have enough of a certain dish at a gathering! We all know what it means but we rarely need to invoke it!
i loved this post because it is so foreign to me. Coming from a Greek family whenever we got together for a meal we could feed the entire apartment building. My mother and sister would be so offended if you didn’t take second and third portions of the lamb and potatoes, spinach pie, mousaka and pastitsio.
You’re making me hungry. Love that food.
Garrison Keillor, in a “News From Lake Wobegon” monologue many years ago, cited his mother’s cautionary phrase to him and his five siblings when guests were invited for dinner: “Family, Hold Back.” My wife and I have half-seriously adopted that phrase at times.
We do, too! We usually have enough food overall, but maybe sometimes we’re worried about a specific item going all the way around.
My dad said that all the time!