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HERE’S A RECIPE FOR disaster: a good internet connection, plenty of storage space, lots of time on your hands—and credit cards.
Impulsive shopping has a name, oniomania, and the above recipe makes it all too easy. If you have a credit card, research suggests you’ll spend significantly more than if you were paying with cash or a check. The availability of 24/7 online shopping makes it just that much worse.
Here are eight signs—besides the pile of packages outside our front door each day—that tells me impulsive spending has reached our house:
1. You get a “charge” each time you place an order.
I’m not just talking about the credit card charge. You see something online and you think, “Wouldn’t that be nice to have?” It’s an item you wouldn’t have gone looking for—and wouldn’t have bought—otherwise. Now, with the tap of a few laptop keys, it’ll be delivered to your door. You get the added thrill of waiting for it to come, including tracking its delivery online.
2. You think you’re saving money.
We love our Amazon Prime membership and our Amazon Prime 5% cash back credit card. The free shipping, with free returns and Prime Video thrown in, means we’re constantly saving. Problem is, all the money we’re saving puts a big dent in our bank account.
3. You forget what you ordered.
My job is to monitor our credit card charges. My spouse doesn’t buy a few big things. Instead, she buys a ton of little things each month. We have a huge amount of small charges on our credit card. I’ve found charges that she initially denied making because she simply forgot about them. I challenged one such charge with the credit card company, only to later admit it was a purchase we’d forgotten about.
4. You buy stuff you don’t need.
One day, I found a couple of containers of finger moisturizer on my desk at home. This stuff keeps fingertips tacky and is frequently used by folks who count money or sort paperwork. My wife is a bank teller, so I brought it to her, thinking she left it on my desk by accident. She looked at me sheepishly and said, “I thought you might want it. I bought it but I don’t want it now.” This happens more than I’d like.
5. You start buying stuff for others that they didn’t ask for.
At some point, you run out of stuff that you want and you start making purchases for others. It’s too easy. You’ve got free shipping anyway and it goes straight to them without you having to leave the house to buy it, wrap it and take it to the post office. Even if it’s useful, it still isn’t your job to buy things for them, especially if they didn’t even ask for the items in question.
6. You buy large quantities that’ll last until you die.
I have a box of staples that has sat on my desk for 30 years. I’ve used about a tenth of them. One day, I found two new boxes of staples sitting on my desk. My spouse bought them because they were “cheap.”
She saw me brushing lint off my jacket. She bought me not one lint brush, but three. Don’t get me started on the 15 rolls of Scotch tape, 24 toothbrushes, 16 tubes of toothpaste, 27 cans of tomato paste or the back bedroom filled with toilet paper and paper towels. It’s not “cheap” or “a bargain” if it’s something you won’t use before it goes bad or you die.
7. You get mad if someone doesn’t want your purchases.
I used to be afraid to reject some purchases my spouse made for me out of fear I’d hurt her feelings or make her mad. The result was items would pile up in a dark corner of the house and be long forgotten. I’m not that way anymore. I will lovingly tell my spouse that I am never going to use that item, and then I quickly get a return slip printed. She gets over it.
8. It doesn’t have to be online shopping, either.
You can find great bargains, particularly clothes, at thrift or consignment stores. My wife was an expert at outfitting our five kids early in our marriage. She had a part-time job in a nearby city that had many such shops. She’d spend her lunch hour looking them over.
Every week, she came home with a big bag of clothes and a big smile. So much so that I bought and filled several storage bins with clothes. They were stacked all around our house. Unfortunately, the bins were never opened again and what was in them became lost to time. Eventually, most of the bins were carted off to the Goodwill store. The thrill of the hunt had overtaken the needs of the family.
So, what did we do to limit this disaster?
First, it’s good that opposites attract because, if both of you are impulsive spenders, you’ve got big problems. One spouse has to act as the police, which in our marriage is me. I monitor all the financial accounts and, as I’m retired, I see all the packages that come to the house. That gives me an unfair advantage.
I don’t argue with everything, but most purchases for me get returned. That has diminished some of my wife’s shopping fun. It also makes her feel a little guilty buying items just for herself.
Second, my wife is nine years younger than me and still working. We live on my pension but max out her 401(k). This makes me feel better, because it means we’re still saving a hefty sum.
Finally, choose your battles wisely. Some junk spending isn’t going to hurt you, and it does add some fun to life.
Ken Begley has worked for the IRS and as an accountant, a college director of student financial aid and a newspaper columnist, and he also spent 42 years on active and reserve service with the U.S. Navy and Army. Now retired, Ken likes to spend his time with his family, especially his grandchildren, and as a volunteer with Kentucky’s Marion County Veterans Honor Guard performing last rites at military funerals. Check out Ken’s earlier articles.
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Use the Amazon shopping cart before swiping to purchase. It’s amazing how time can change ones mind regarding a purchase. After all, what’s the hurry?
If you must make purchases for others, there’s Amazon e gift cards.
And don’t forget charities.You’ll likely even receive a thank you note.
If this is truly a problem I suggest selling your storage unit, er house, and buy a little house
Wondering if it is a coincidence that the author used to work for the IRS and is now monitoring his wife in retirement… This piece reminds me a bit of the retired couple version of Meet the Parents-with him wiring up his wife to a Lie Detector. There seems to opportunities on both sides. Good luck.
I hate shopping and I don’t understand those that enjoy it.
Me too.
The incredible growth of these self storage complexes never ceases to amaze me … seems there is one on every corner. Houses certainly haven’t gotten any smaller so I can only guess it is people buying way too much
Right and not to mention cars don’t go in the garage any longer.
Is there a Shoppers Anonymous to go with Gamblers Anonymous? I’m with DrLefty about this article. If someone keeps buying things they don’t need they have a problem. Admittedly, I’m not the best person to talk about shopping because I don’t enjoy it. The only time I look at shopping sites, or actually go to a store, is when I know I need something. I will confess to a little feature creep on big ticket items, but they’re rare. (This may help explain why I could live below my income when I was working, which Dick seems to find strange.)
You misread me. Nothing strange about living below income or means, highly desirable. What I do find strange are people who retire and claim to live on 40% of working income. In those cases the definition of “living” needs to be explored to see if we have apples and oranges or drastic changes in lifestyle. My goal was that between working and retirement there would be no need to change anything.
As I explained in my article there was a change – the addition of a lot of travel.
This article made me very uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure if it was meant to be humorous or to give serious advice about overspending. The numbered, bolded list suggested the latter. A lot of it felt like he was mocking or shaming his wife. Conversely, some of it read like maybe she has a hoarding problem that might need professional help. And the part about him being “the police” was cringe-inducing.
I agree.
A few weeks ago in a reply I made about how I dealt with my ex-wife’s overspending, I finished by saying I wasn’t sure my solution was the best thing for her. I totally understand the point you are making, the way people deal with money issues can have a devastating effect on their spouse. This is perhaps a good subject for a future article.
Good that opposites attract? I agree, but it’s better when both partners are always in sync.
I’m wondering if your wife is a HumbleDollar reader. If so, you are a brave man. Does she realize she is under surveillance by the police?😃
My wife never buys what we don’t need or even what she doesn’t need. I have to admit though that when we visit a big box store it is tempting to buy those huge quantities of things you like.
We generally pause and ask, “what are we going to do with all that?” It usually works although our freezer still contains a few dozen slices of pumpkin bread that was too tempting to resist at a BJs
The real question is what percentage of your income are you spending, what percentage are you saving, and what percentage are you paying in taxes? If your savings rate is reasonable, say at least 25-30%, and you’re not paying too much in tax, you should be free to spend the rest any way you like. There’s no point in working for decades, and then not spending any of the money you saved.
The basic formula – mine – save, never pay credit card interest and spend what you like from what’s left.
I always make sure money I receive including RMDs is net of taxes. Only once in the last 30 years did I owe taxes when I filed. I do that by slightly over withholding from steady sources such as pension and SS just enough to cover dividends, interest, capital gains.