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I HAVE WRITTEN THIS article about bourbon because, when HumbleDollar’s editor previously asked me to write about my travels, I thought, “Hey, if someone wants to pay me $60 to write about travel, I’m in. I’m hoping he’ll next suggest I write an article about drinking bourbon.”
Sadly, this site’s editor didn’t ask me to write about bourbon. But I went ahead anyway.
I “spiritually” came of age when I was 19 years old. It’s not that I was so much more mature than those who came after me. Rather, in New York in 1984, it was legal for a 19-year-old to drink alcohol.
I remember my salad days quite well, drinking in the hospitable confines of bars with such timeless names as Yesterday’s, The Cobbler and [insert Irish name]’s Pub. Then, a few months after my 19th birthday, for some unknown reason, the powers that be raised the drinking age to 21, and my friends and I were back to drinking in the less-than-hospitable confines of a 1966 Buick Special in the supermarket parking lot.
Back then, we all pretty much drank the drink that has been drunk since the first teenager started drinking—cold, cheap beer—though the adjectives weren’t necessarily in that order. This was all before the whole microbrew trend started, though I do remember one of my friends, who thought he was special, ordering some imported crap called Boddingtons.
After more than a few Buds, Miller Lites and Rolling Rocks, our taste buds inevitably matured and we graduated to drinking Screwdrivers, Alabama Slammers and shots of anything that could be poured into a shot glass, which included for some strange reason Drambuie. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the “cocktail” Alabama Slammer or the liqueur Drambuie, consider yourself lucky.
When I subsequently joined the Navy, my palate was most definitely not expanded, unless you count cheap foreign beer and shots of ouzo. And when I started working for Exxon Mobil, I quickly realized that wine was to be drunk when eating ridiculously expensive steak or seafood, but otherwise I stuck to what I knew—and what I knew was beer, though now bought in bottles and poured into a glass.
That all changed when I read Dale DeGroff’s The Essential Cocktail. It was different from any other cocktail book I’d ever read. Instead of being an endless compendium of drink after drink, it was a thesis on how 30 or so cocktails were made, including their history and possible variations.
Perhaps due to its manliness, I was immediately drawn to whiskey cocktails, and quickly became enamored with the Old Fashioned and the Manhattan. Or it could be that, by this time, I’d had my fill of rum (how many rum and cokes can a man drink?) and vodka (see Screwdriver, above).
I quickly realized that I wasn’t alone in my newfound love of whiskey. When I’d squeeze my way to the bar about 15 years ago, that—and microbrews—were all everyone wanted to order. I realized there might have been a slight herd mentality with me and my bourbon-heads, but at least I wasn’t drinking the ersatz gasoline cocktail that’s called a Martini. I need to note that the establishments where I was now doing my drinking were much classier, as confirmed by their names—PX, The Milk Room, the bar at the Ritz—and by their prices.
The one issue I’ve found with drinking whiskey is that the number of choices has now become staggering. In fact, drinking whiskey has become like drinking wine: The prices range from dirt cheap to WTF and, after you find a good bottle at a reasonable price, finding it again can be problematic.
Therefore, in an effort to simplify the decision making-process and reduce expenses, I now categorize all whiskey as follows:
1. The Undrinkable. This group includes the bottom shelf at the liquor store, Canadian whisky and, of course, all Scotch—no matter the price.
2. The Good Stuff. It’s like porn, you know it when you see it, generally due to the price, the cork or the shape of the bottle. Now, don’t buy this stuff yourself. But if you’re on the company’s dime or at your brother-in-law’s house, then of course partake. Not to excess, though: You don’t want your boss or brother-in-law to get too wise.
If you get it as a gift—you lucky dog—do not mix it. Mixing “The Good Stuff” into a cocktail is like ordering a medium rare 22-ounce bone-in ribeye at The Capital Grille and then slathering it with ketchup. Drink it neat, with a little branch water or on the rocks.
3. The Middle Shelf. By extensively sampling this group, you’re looking for the sweet spot between taste and price. A few thoughts: Stay away from Jim Beam, except for the rye. You cannot go wrong with Buffalo Trace. It’s the best middle-shelf bourbon I’ve ever tasted. Unfortunately, the word is out and it has become the unicorn of bourbons.
Stay above 80 proof if you’re going to mix it, otherwise it’ll all just get diluted away. And if you do mix it, mix it with fresh juices, bottled mixers and top-shelf accompaniments like Carpano Antica Formula Vermouth. Remember, your cocktail liquor stipend is better allocated to the accoutrements than to the whiskey.
Currently, I’m partial to Mellow Corn, Old Forester, Rittenhouse Rye and all Irish whiskey. But as I type this, the options are increasing exponentially. By the way, after purchasing, I then sometimes decant it into my father-in-law’s crystal decanter. It makes it taste that much better.
Much like sex and pizza, there’s no need to overpay to fulfill your primal needs. Damn good whiskey can be purchased at a reasonable price. Just follow my above guidelines, be responsible and remember, “Pay medium, drink premium.”
Michael Flack blogs at AfterActionReport.info. He’s a former naval officer and 20-year veteran of the oil and gas industry. Now retired, Mike enjoys traveling, blogging and spreadsheets. Check out his earlier articles.
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Love the advice and humor you’ve shared!
Thanks for not making reference to taking a bone in rib eye and preparing it WELL done. I thought for sure that I was going to read it like that but instead you chose ketchup. People normally roll their eyes when I order my meat well done…it takes skill to prep a steak that is tender yet well done. Thanks for the tips on The Middle shelf. I have been wanting to try whiskey but didn’t know what to buy.
Harper Adams, I get wanting a steak well done and therefore inserted the ketchup line for a very specific reason. I’m glad I can help you navigate The Middle Shelf. Though it’s The Good Stuff, you may want to give I.W. Harper a try.
Lots of states raised the drinking age to 21 in the early 1980s, something to do with a requirement to receive federal highway funds if I recall correctly. My college roommate turned 18 and was legal for six days before the law changed in our state.
Ginger Williams, I think you may be on to something, though at the time it felt a little personal.
Mike, I appreciate the humor! I’m not really a whiskey drinker (can you say pinot grigio?) but I do have a bottle of Jameson IPA edition on hand, aged in craft beer barrels. That’s as close to beer as I get nowadays. However, I use it for the occasional Irish coffee (certain blasphemy). Top, middle, bottom? I only know it came from the Costco shelf.
sumzero, Costco makes some very drinkable Middle Shelf liquor.
You’re right about college days, it was cheap, cold beer, and sometimes even the cold was optional. In the late 1970s we could get a six pack of Buckhorn for $0.99. Not a known brand anywhere, but clearly cheap.
Mark Eckman, 99 cents for a six-pack! We didn’t have Buckhorn on Long Island back in the mid-80s, but we did have Schlitz.
I was looking for the “thumbs down” option with your clearly woefully incorrect comment about Boddingtons! A very fine British ale from the Strangeways Brewery in Manchester, England.
Mike,
It sounds like you are a rye drinker as well. My favorite is Masterson’s 10 year. But beware it is distilled in Alberta, yes that is in Canada. Give it a “shot”, and I think you will change your thoughts on Canadian whiskeys.
Speaking of Canada, I’d also highly recommend giving Wisers a try. I sampled some at an airport in Canada and was amazed. Too bad it’s almost unheard of here in the US.
And speaking of rye, I’d highly recommend my daily manhattan mixer, Old Overholt. This is America’s whiskey. It’s the oldest whiskey from the US, and was the rum runner’s choice during Prohibition. A great middle shelf choice.
I second Old Overholt, although here in NH I would label it as inexpensive
David Lancaster and tshort, Old Overholt used to be a solid Middle Shelf selection (especially the bottled in bond stuff). I’ve found it actually has become a little trendy, with some bartenders putting it in a $15 Flackhattan. Because of this I think the brand’s owner, Beam Suntory, has raised the price a little too much. I don’t buy it myself anymore, but if I’m at my brother-in-law’s house . . .
David Lancaster, I’ll put Mastersons on my to drink list. Thanks for the comments and recommendation!
Glenmorangie Lasanta. Prepare to change your mind about single malt scotch.
If you haven’t had an old fashioned in Wisconsin, you really haven’t lived. In 2019, Korbel sold around 275,000 cases of brandy in the U.S. Over 150,000 cases were sold in Wisconsin. Owing in large part to its Germanic heritage and brutal winters, Wisconsin has been out-drinking your state since 1848. Friday fish fry and old fashioneds are culturally sacrosanct.
Perch fish fry and brandy old fashioned, sweet. Now that’s living large!
Just be aware that ordering a brandy old anywhere outside Wisconsin will generate bewilderment unless the bartender happens to be a Sconie.
Evan Williams in the black label bottle is one of the best. A middle shelf that can regularly rank near the top in blind taste testing. I agree Buffalo Trace is also good but it is way too expensive.
Mr. Flack –
“The Undrinkable. This group includes the bottom shelf at the liquor store, Canadian whisky and, of course, all Scotch—no matter the price.”
All Scotch?! Certainly every person has their own taste but to make that generalization is just not right. So either I misread your article (no surprise) or you, dear sir, with all due respect, have no idea what you’re talking about. There are many Scotch whisky’s that are simply outstanding. And for me those that have a hint of peat are even better. Clearly their prices have escalated in recent years but for me the serving size is small enough that a bottle lasts a year and is still well worth the price.
Mr. Guest, you make a valid point about the importance of not generalizing . . . though I stand by my comments regarding Scotch.
I was introduced to middle shelf bourbon with Wild Turkey. I also like Evan Williams, but Black Label is hard to find in NC nowadays. I occasionally spring for a bottle of Angel’s Envy. Our options are often strangled by the NC Government’s insistence that they control alcohol sales in Alcohol Beverage Control (ABC) stores.
Jeff Bond, Wild Turkey 101 is a perfect middle shelfer.
Wild Turkey 101 or Evan Williams Bottled in Bond are my go to for mixed drinks. Makers Mark Cask Strength for sipping.
Evan Williams Black Label is my favorite value bourbon among the bottom shelf offerings. You can get a half gallon for under $30. I’ve heard their “bottled in bond” variety is only slightly more expensive and tastes a bit better for drinking straight. I drink bourbon cocktails so Black Label works for me.
Brent Wilson, I’m not familiar with the Evan Williams bottled in bond. I’ve put it on my to drink list.
In the 1970s when I was a teen, we used to drive over the New York state line to drink “adult beverages,” a mere 20 minutes if you lived in certain parts of Pennsylvania where not only was the legal age always 21 but you couldn’t buy “hard liquor” anywhere but stores owned by the state’s Liquor Control Board. Of course, drinking and driving long distances was a dangerous practice, and I’m happy my friends and I returned safely home.
There is nothing wrong with “bottom shelf” whiskey if you are a humble dollar reader. On the other hand, I enjoy premium bourbons when visiting my brother….
essmallwood@yahoo.com, I’ve sampled the bottom shelf through the years. Value can be had, but generally you get what you pay for. Any brands you recommend? I hope your brother-in-law is as generous as mine.
E&J brandy in the 1.75 L handle for well under $20 is a perfect mixer for the old fashioned referenced in previous comments.