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What Remains: Money and Me

“Family. Readers. Words.”

At Jonathan’s memorial service, one of the songs he selected was the Bee Gees’ Words. At the time, I simply thought it was a beautiful melody, a favorite of ours from the Bangladesh days. Only later did I realize how perfectly it captured his life.

A few months before his death, Jonathan wrote the final chapter of his book Money and Me. Knowing his time was limited, he reflected on how he hoped to be remembered. He told readers that if they were reading those words, he would likely have passed away.

He then described a simple stone he hoped would one day sit beneath a tree outside his Philadelphia home.

Under his name, he wanted just three words:

Family. Readers. Words.

Today, that stone does sit beneath a tree in front of his home. Nearby are a couple of chairs—a place to sit quietly, reflect, or perhaps have one last conversation with him.

What struck me most was not the inscription itself, but the explanation that followed.

Family, he wrote, represented the people who brought love into his life.

Readers were the people he had served throughout his career and who rewarded that service with loyalty and affection.

Words were his playground: The means by which he shared ideas, stories, and lessons learned along the way.

Those three words have stayed with me because they feel less like an epitaph and more like a statement of values.

They also raise a question that all of us eventually face: What truly matters?

Many of us spend decades pursuing goals that seem important at the time. We build careers, accumulate savings, buy homes, grow businesses, and track financial milestones. We measure our success in promotions, professional achievements, investment returns, and net worth.

There is nothing wrong with any of those things. Financial security provides freedom, independence, and peace of mind. Much of what we discuss on HumbleDollar revolves around making wise financial decisions.

Yet none of those things appeared on Jonathan’s stone.

Not wealth.

Not professional success.

Not accomplishments.

Not titles.

Instead, he chose family, readers, and words.

The irony is that Jonathan spent much of his career writing about money. Yet when it came time to summarize his own life, he chose three words that had nothing to do with finances.

Not because money didn’t matter.

Money helped support the things he valued most. It gave him opportunities, choices, and experiences. But it wasn’t what he wanted remembered.

The older I get, the more I find myself asking the same question.

What truly matters?

I was reminded of that question again after my father’s death. Unlike Jonathan, my father was deeply introverted. Many of his thoughts remained unspoken during his lifetime. Yet after he passed away, we discovered journals, notes, and reflections that revealed a side of him we had never fully known.

Through his words, he continued speaking to us.

Jonathan was different. He shared his thoughts freely with the world. Through thousands of articles, columns, books, and conversations, he reached an audience far beyond family and friends.

Yet the result was remarkably similar.

His words, like my father’s, remain to this day.

Readers still revisit his articles. They quote his advice. They share lessons they learned from him. Every time someone opens one of his essays, a small conversation begins again.

Words have a curious durability.

A house eventually changes owners. A business is sold. Investment accounts are spent, inherited, or donated. Accomplishments ,that once seemed significant, gradually fade into history.

But words can endure for generations.

They can comfort or wound. Inspire or discourage. Build bridges or create divisions. A few carefully chosen words can alter the course of a day, a relationship, or even a life.

Perhaps that is why those three words on Jonathan’s stone resonate so deeply with me.

They aren’t really about him. They are a reminder to all of us.

At some point, every one of us will leave something behind. The question is what.

When I look at that stone, I don’t see a journalist, a founder, or a financial writer. I see someone who understood that legacy isn’t measured solely by what we accumulate.

It is also measured by the people we love, the people we touch, and the words we leave with them.

Perhaps that was the lesson Jonathan intended all along.

In the end, the measure of a life may not be what we accumulate, but what remains.

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Brian Frisch
2 months ago

With all of the anticipation and accolades by early readers Jonathans final book Money and Me received, I thought it deserved another round of comments and reviews by those of us who have now read the book since its release in late May. 
I read a lot of books on financial education/planning, retirement (all aspects not just money), investing and personal finance but Money and Me is nothing like any of the other books in this crowded section of the library bookshelves.  
Perhaps it’s hearing Jonathan’s familiar voice from the many columns and podcasts and other books he’s written, but reading this book was like Jonathan’s was giving me a personal road map of how to build and live a Happy, productive and successful life without regrets.  I wish I could have read this book when I finished college and was just starting my career and family, but it is still relevant at this point in my life being retired and living my remaining years (as many and as hopefully long those might be) to the fullest extent possible.  
Not to diminish Jonathan’s extraordinary explanations of investing and financial planning, which he describes beautifully from the essays from Humble Dollar, but the last 3 chapters of the book starting with “Cancer” should be “must reading” for anyone at an advanced stage of their life.  The way he so calmly explains how he went about his life after receiving the devastating news of his terminal cancer diagnosis is both brave and insightful and advice all of us could learn from.  I was almost in tears reading these last chapters and essays and didn’t want the book to end.  Regular readers of Humble Dollar are familiar with many of these words and advice, including his final Farewell essay, published in Humble Dollar by his loving wife Elaine upon Jonathan’s death.  
This is an extraordinary book that I have already recommended to many friends and I hope to be able to get my adult children to read.  If you haven’t already read the book, you must put it on your list to read soon.
Jonathan was a unique voice that is already sorely missed.

DavidHLancaster
2 months ago
Reply to  Brian Frisch

Brian,
Just yesterday I was listening to the third ever Bogle on Investing podcast with Jonathan recorded in 2018. The fact that he was the third person interviewed (the first of course being Bogle himself) tells you how respected he was among the Bogleheads. It was both sad and comforting to hear his voice again.