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We often read those poignant articles about never truly knowing when we’re experiencing something for the very last time—that final hug, or the last time we carry our child. A bit sad, I tend to skip them. But I’ve been thinking from the opposite viewpoint: those “OMG, thank goodness I don’t have to do that again!” moments.
As a recent retiree, I can easily recall a few such glorious moments. Early starts, for instance, never bothered me much at the time, but the sheer relief of never having to wake at 5:30 AM, seven days a week, again can sometimes cause a sudden little jiggle around the kitchen at random moments. My wife, Suzie, just looks at me.
Then there was the relentless, 24/7 stress of running my own business. Even after just three months away, the mere thought of revisiting that pressure is beyond awful. It sends a shudder down my spine and a slight whimper escapes my mouth. I try not to think about it in company; I’m told it’s not polite to whimper.
Organizing my staff and managing their often strong, differing viewpoints so everyone would be moving in the same direction could be a challenge at times. In my quieter moments, I often speculated—and agreed with myself—that it would be easier herding cats into doing something cooperative. Thank the gods that’s a thing of the past. I tend to give the local tomcat a wide berth now.
I could always be relied upon to synchronize my precious days off to coincide with a minor business disaster or supplier issue that plenty of my staff could sort out all by themselves, but seemed compelled to bring me into the loop. I really don’t miss that, and I still half expect Suzie to confiscate my phone for the afternoon… I’m not joking, she really did that once!
So many things I really don’t miss and wouldn’t want back in my life, but do you know what? My lovely staff would have got me a coffee and maybe a tasty snack. I liked that very much. Now that I have to faff about doing it myself, I really don’t like that just as much.
At age 70 I retired from a stressful, time-pressure, life and death decisions type of career. I had to take time off for 2 months during the covid days and after a few weeks of great sleep and enjoyment of life I suddenly realized I hadn’t felt this relaxed since the day I began my career in 1975. I had just accepted high baseline stress as normal. This awakening led me to retire within a year instead of at age 75. The good thing to come out of covid!
I had close contact with managers and engineers with the firms who were our clients. I seldom socialized, but only on some very rare occasions I did, usually with a group at a project completion. There were annual international conferences and those were the opportunity to do some things together. There were large contracts on the table and I distrusted those who attempted to use their personal influence to gain leverage.
I did a phased, gradual retirement and that allowed for a gradual decompression, too. Once I reached a certain point I never looked back.
I retired 7 years ago, but the time has flown. I missed seeing patients and the camaraderie of my partners and staff, but not the increasingly complex and inefficient documentation requirements (you know, “the doctor had his nose in the computer the whole visit”). However, that was more than offset by my newfound freedom and flexibility. For the first couple years, I’d drop by with a few pizzas to surprise my former colleagues, and noticed I was the only one who could relax and enjoy lunch, while the rest would drop in and out for a quick bite, run to answer phones, etc. It made me appreciate them a bit more, remembering the stress level, and eliminated any second thoughts on my part. A young grandchild recently introduced me to a friend: “This is my Grandpa. He used to be a doctor!” And his friend said “Ooh!”. But, I still am a Grandpa! Enjoy retirement!
Jack, you struck a nerve with this comment, “but not the increasingly complex and inefficient documentation requirements”.
I used to say that the IRS was turning tax preparers like me into tax cops. Clients had to provide proof of eligibility for certain filing status’s, child related benefits, education related credits, Affordable Care Act subsidies. Preparers can be fined in excess of $500 per violation when not in compliance.
From my casual reading in the media, I often read of such things you refer to, and I marvel at just how much pressure is placed on so many of us to enforce compliance on fellow citizens, while a nearby article discusses how somebody avoided paying millions in taxes, legally or otherwise. Makes me shake my head.
I don’t miss anything. Realistically there must be something I occasionally miss a bit, but nothing comes to mind.
Couldn’t agree more. That was a different life, and I prefer this one.
I miss the people I worked with and my office.
I was 70 when I sold my business. I soon began researching volunteer opportunities, considering part time work (even though I didn’t need earned income), or starting a new venture. Then Chrissy hit me upside the head, made me realize that I didn’t want to do anything that required me to commit myself to being someplace at a given time.
Last year I prepared income taxes for AARP. The commitment was only for two days per week in February and March, about six or so hours each day, and my fellow volunteers were great people. That didn’t kill me, and I’ll be back again next season.
Great use of your skills, Dan. You can probably do a tax return in your sleep, but to the elderly person you are helping it’s such a help.
“made me realize that I didn’t want to do anything that required me to commit myself to being someplace at a given time.”
That has been my philosophy from the get go retiring. I want the flexibility of doing, or not doing something whenever I want.
As a brand-new retiree, that is exactly how I feel. I could tell during my last couple of years in the workplace, when my favorite days were Saturdays or breaks between terms. I was just over always having to be somewhere and do something. I’ve had enough of that for one lifetime, and I can’t imagine ever missing it!
I still miss the social contact. I have lots of friends, but there’s nothing like the day-to-day mutual support group that a close-knit and focused office can nurture.
I say that, even though some of you know I started working from home in 2015. In spite of working from home, there were still remote office visits, customer visits, training meetings, conferences, etc. When I retired in 2020 the pandemic was in full swing, but I’ve replaced that social context with other activities.
It’s just stage 1 in becoming less of an IMPORTANT PERSON. Being reconciled to that and embracing the freedom as you seem to be doing appears to me to be the key to a long and happy retirement i.e. no regrets about who you used to me, contentment with who you are now.