I was at our local annual civic parade and town carnival yesterday. One of those days we’d planned well in advance, arranging to take the grandkids and meet up with some thirty-something friends who also had young children in tow. It turned out to be a wonderful day. Vintage car rallies, a fairground, plenty of food stalls, live music, and costumed performers all doing their bit to keep the crowds entertained.
I’m a bit of a people-watcher at the best of times, and something about our little group caught my attention as the day unfolded. It struck me that the children and Suzie and I actually had the most in common. We were all just there. Present. Carefree.
Our thirty-something friends, lovely as they are, were carrying the weight of it all. Conversations drifted to work deadlines and projects, stretching money toward a new car, decorating the house, squeezing in quality time together as a couple. The invisible load that comes with that particular season of life. Meanwhile the kids were lost in the moment and, honestly, so were we.
I think of it like a mirrored funnel. As children we enter life wide end first, open, unburdened, and free from financial worry or responsibility. But as we grow, the funnel slowly narrows. Career, mortgage, children of your own, the endless juggle of money and time and obligation all squeeze in from every side.
But here’s what people don’t always see coming, and what that sunny afternoon reminded me of so clearly. If you’ve planned well and saved steadily along the way, the funnel opens back out the other side. Retirement doesn’t have to be a slow decline into worry. For Suzie and me it’s been the opposite, and we find ourselves standing at the wide end again, much like those children chasing each other between the food stalls without a care in the world.
If you’re somewhere in the narrow part of the funnel right now, I see you. It can be relentless. But the decisions you make in there determine what waits for you on the other side. Start early, save consistently, and keep going even when the squeeze feels tightest.
The best thing about the wide end of the funnel? You’ve earned it. Every year of steady saving, every pressure endured in the narrow part, leads somewhere. For Suzie and me, somewhere turned out to be a sunny afternoon at a carnival — a cotton candy, a grandchild on each arm, and nowhere else in the world we needed to be.
Your story mirrors mine to a certain extent especially feeling liberated from the daily grind. Of course, I have my mother to take care of but that’s a burden of love.
“As children we enter life wide end first”
For some reason this made me think about the ~ 5 deliveries I actively participated in during med school. As the women here can attest, especially on Mother’s Day, the entry into life is anything but wide end first !
That flaw in the metaphor crossed my mind. I had been wondering if anyone would call me out about it lol
Good and wise post.
Yesterday we took two of the grandchildren to an amusement park. As I sat in a ride with my 6-year grandson seated next to me and holding my hand as we waited for the ride to start, I thought that this is great, and this is why I like being retired. A perfect moment at the wide end of that mirrored funnel.